 19X-DAY JUNE 28 - JULY 5, "2016," Wisteria Campground about 20 minutes from Athens, in southeastern Ohio WOMEN FREE! |
NEW: 19 X-Day Rough & Raw Audio Samples from evening performances
NEWER: 19 X-Day Chronological Edited Photo Collection
Also see: STARWOOD 36 photos, videoLogo above by Rev. Bruce Perry; below (and other complex ad layouts) by Dr. Hal
This is THE SubGenius World Destruction Event and Annual Migration to our spawning grounds!
ARISE, MUTANTS!
As always, our annual main SubGenius event is held in the middle of nowhere, is hard to get to without a car or ride, and requires camping (or else staying at a local motel in the very nice college town of Athens, Ohio, about 15 minutes away.)
If SubGeniuses were Normals, X-Day Drills and such would be held in Holiday Inn conference rooms. Like the gamers do. Like the sci-fi fans and the comics fans do. Like the Scientologists, Mary Kay sales people and the Grace Glory Baptists do.
But we are SubGeniuses, and X-Day is not a convention. IT IS AN ADVENTURE. A SURVIVAL TEST!!
It might be brutal at times. CORRECTION: it WILL be brutal at times.
But those times are exactly what make for the CONTRAST. They make the heights ever so much HIGHER. And, sometimes, when two SubGeniuses get stuck under a borrowed tarp in a rainstorm, and fall in love, and get married, and have kids, and get a divorce, THEY STILL COME BACK TO X-DAY.
Sure. You might meet your True Yeti Mate or have your peak experience at a comics con in a motel. But it will not be an ADVENTURE. It will not be THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE OF MAN AGAINST NATURE, AGAINST THE VERY ELEMENTS, AGAINST, YES, GOD ITSELF!! JEHOVAH ONE! ARE WE TRULY BUT SPACE PUPPETS?!? NAY, "BOB" SAYS, NAY!!!
"The brutal times form a protective barrier around all the SLACK at X-Day. You have to go through the brutality-field to get to the pure, rich, ambient slack that suffuses the event, but when you leave the Slack comes with you." -- Dok HolocaustVETERAN ADVICE FOR NOOBCAKES for X-Day
X-Do's and X-Don'ts by Dr. Onan Canobite
You can now pre-pay your camping fees to Wisteria here. (This link was broken earlier but has been fixed.)
NEW: Download the Schedule Brochure pdf.
WHERE??!? WISTERIA Event Campground and Nature Retreat, 39617 State Route 684, Pomeroy, Ohio, USA(20 min. from Athens, Ohio and Ravenswood, West Virginia)
HOW MUCH??? Only $35 -- for men. WOMEN GET IN FREE. (It's to prove a point to some detractors, although it's true that such offers are usually made only by strip clubs. Any loss is worth it to us to prove those people wrong.) The cost is not very brutal. $35 for the whole week -- for ordained SubGenius Ministers. If you aren't ordained yet, you'll have to spend another $35 to become ordained. (Again, here female attendees get freebies.) A CHEAP PRICE for SALVATION, if you think about it. A cheap price for ANY weekend-long, totally spectacular and weird campout -freakout-musical/religious event. Men can PRE-REGISTER HERE! -- or register at the event (after 1 pm each day). All that SubFemmes have to do is show up, although if you want a pre-reg ticket just email Rev. Ivan Stang and ask.
NOTE: CAMPING is another $15 per person, paid to Wisteria, and unfortunately that goes for everybody; we can't pay your camping fees. There are motels nearby, in Athens, Pomeroy, Ravenswood WV, and Carpenter.
CLICK HERE FOR DR. HAL's MAP OF MONSTERS YOU MIGHT SEE IN EACH STATE YOU DRIVE THROUGH
X-Day Souvenir Propaganda Garments and Other Products
Wonderful souvenirs to cherish! -- Touching reminders of the last days of your life on planet Earth and your liberation by Dobbs. Shirts, hoodies, kids' clothes, mugs, steins, Liquid Frop Bottles, all emblazoned with the new X-Day art by Dr. Legume and/or this year's antique bug porn "squirrel shots.".
For the careless and CARLESS: HOW TO GET THERE
Greyhound will bring you right to Athens, Ohio, which is a mere spitting distance from Wisteria, and we might be able to get a friendly Yeti to give you a ride in. For air travelers, Wisteria recommends the Port Columbus International Airport, and again, we might have Friendly Yeti Volunteers making runs back and forth if you arrange it with Stang. Train service in the area isn't as nice, however. You should also ask around on the 19X-Day Facebook Page, our various SubGenius Internet forums, and the chat room.
Until June 28 YOU CAN CALL OUR OFFICE NUMBER IF YOU HAVE SECURITY QUESTIONS:
1-216-320-9528
You can become as involved as you want, way ahead of time, via
SCRUBGENIUS forum
(Only ordained SubG Members may join .)
WHAT IS X-DAY? Read the SubGenius Pamphlet #1
and see the extensive illustrated reports and videos on the previous X-Day Drills below
Graphic: The Bishop
*Ask Dr. Hal * Rev. Ivan Stang *Rev. Susie The Floozie * Doktor Dark's Drive-In * Hypercube * Princess Wei "R." Doe * The Nostrils * peas * Fuckwads of Slack * Vulcan Jedi Mentat * Weirdos * Taphouse Gang * A Roasted Monster to Devour * Rev. Andrew The Impaled * EX-Day & The Exmortis Experience * Quijibo Cartel * and... * WeiMawMaw! * and a slackload of others whose real names might mean little here YET, but no doubt will strike fear in the hearts of millions by July 6. If there is one.
BANDS:
THE AMINO ACIDS or something even worse * DISGRUNTLED BASSISTS ORCHESTRA * DRS. 4 WOTAN * ANDREW THE IMPALED * THE SLOT RODS * THE COMING OF THE GIANT GERMS (doktor jams) * WeiMawMaw Vs. Ol' Sequaw * URSUS CANOLA *
DONATE to help bring SubGenius pros and DR. HAL and HYPERCUBE to X-Day so it doesn't all come out of Stang's and Dr. Dark's pockets, which actually have a bottom:
"Nothing exceeds like Xs!" - Rev. Just John -- Art below left by Dr. Zirroneous; below right by Rev. Alex Aurichio
It's time to KISS ALL CALENDARS GOODBYE!
There'll be:
Full Immersion Mass Bobtism! in Ol' Sequaw's Watery Lair
SubGenius Costume Ball / Beer Tasting / Party!
Costume Ball Theme: DEAD ROCK STARS
SPOUTING! with spewing
Dr. Dark's BULLDADA BADFILM DRIVE-IN of the Damned !
THE BADFILM GRINDHOUSE -- nonstop bulldada movies and shorts for 6 days, presented by My Inner Spoiled Child (See last year's complete SCHEDULE and the official TRAILER)
THE BULLDADA AUCTION! Bring weird stuff to be sold!
MASS SHORT DURATION MARRIAGE
and at least one for-real LongDurMar
LIVE HOURS OF SLACK on stage every day with Rev. Ivan Stang, Dr. Hal, Dr. Philo Drummond, Rev. Susie the Floozie, many more!
FIND the PHILO
LOUDEST YETI CONTEST
MASS EATING! Scrapple Toss, Pancake Orgy, 'Frop Beating, Time Killing!
THE BOBBIE AWARDS! SIDESHOW MARVELS!
TUBS AND TUBS OF PURPLE KOOL-AID!
TROLL SHOOT!
All SubGenius Concepts that are Banned Elsewhere!
SPONTANEOUS DOKTORBAND COMBUSTION!
TRAINED PRAIRIE SQUID GIGGIN'-PARTIES!
(Free Debeaking Tools to first 5 giggees)
THAT ONE GUY WILL PUKE AND PASS OUT IN THE ROAD AGAIN!
SPORTS FIGURE BODY PART LAUNCHING!
NUDE CHAINSAW JUGGLING!
'FROP ENHANCEMENT WORKSHOPS!
ACUBEATING!
PSYCHIC SURGERY!
HUMANFIGHTS!
LIVE FREAKS OF NATURE and ACID CASUALTIES!
FACE FUCKING BAT SPERM ANTIDOTE PUDDING COOK-OFF!
BOBBIE ROPING!
PRIVATE ADULT SEXHURT SEMINARS!
BONOBO CHIMP GOBBLIN' CONTESTS!
SELF-MUTILATING PREACHERS!
ODDLY NORMAL-SEEMING PEOPLE!
SEX GODDESSES, ELDER GODS, and XISTS!!!
You'll be able to tell your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandkids, "I was at the X-Day Final Gathering in legendary Wisteria... Yep! 'Fropped up with the great Dr. Hal hisself there... even fucked Connie Dobbs! And "Bob" fucked me -- right good, I'd say!"
