TIME MAGAZINE
CAVES IN, PUBLISHES
SUBSITE URL!!

First, TIME was dumb enough to have an online poll just before the turn of the century, including a "FRAUD OF THE CENTURY" section. Being too chickenshit to put Pink religious leaders such as Jerry Falwell or L. Ron Hubbard in their list, the TIME editors nonetheless left "Bob" in as a nominee.

BY A LARGE MARGIN, J.R. "BOB" DOBBS was popularly elected as "FRAUD OF THE CENTURY".

Time-Jan 1 2000 --Results of Fraud of the Century

In their Jan.1 special issue, TIME grudgingly acknowledged that Dobbs had whupped Geraldo, Rush, O.J., Stern, and every other hated media asshole. HOWEVER, in their sidebar "explanation" of "Bob," nothing was there but a GLARING TYPO, consisting of the following statement:

"J.R. is so".

This bizarre typo led to a whole new arena of revelation:

"J.R. IS SO," Says New TIME Mag by Rev. Ivan Stang

In the Feb. 2 TIME, they offered up a CORRECTION... THIS time, INCLUDING OUR URL and a PHOTO of "BOB"!!!

TIME's Final, False Report on "BOB"

WE WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN THIS FREE MILLION BUCKS' WORTH OF P.R. HAD SOMEBODY AT TIME NOT SCREWED UP!! PRAISE "BOB"!! And praise the hundreds of thousands of faithful SubGenii the world over VOTED FOR DOBBS in that online poll! PRAISE THE SUBGENII!!

Ironically enough, the hordes of SubGenii were MOTIVATED to vote by the activities of a vehement DOBBS-HATING DISCORDIAN (disavowed by most other Discordians). The complete history of how one weenie's jealousy perked up a thousand Subs' Slack is contained in:

The Discordian-SubGenius TIME POLL War

We welcome all the TIME readers, the innocent, unworldly nonsinners who, following the TIME clues, have come unto "Bob" -- SEEMINGLY by ACCIDENT, but in truth DRIVEN by their DIVINELY INSPIRED CURIOSITY ABOUT EVERYTHING WEIRD, and, more than that, by their INNATE DIRE NEED FOR MORE SLACK... a need promulgated by what Dobbs calls The Conspiracy.

Ha ha, very funny so far, right? Oh, yes, it can get very funny indeed. Here at the Church of the SubGenius, we like to occasionally show our humorous side.

If you're new to this, and presuming you haven't already become an ordained minister using our online ordainment form, you might be well advised to read the web version of "Bob"'s" original SubGenius teachings in simple pamphlet form. You might also want to skim down our TABLE OF CONTENTS in order to get the barest grasp of just how incredibly huge this website is, and of how many thousands of artisans have been cranking away at it for how many thousands of years, starting the first time a cave man carved a pipe onto a stick figure man on a cave wall.

But you'd better hurry. XXX-DAY is COMING.

NO MENTION OF DOBBS IN "TIME" EUROPE!!

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