SubSITE

((No, everything on this site EXCEPT THIS STATEMENT doesn't change slightly every few days. THIS time, you really must be hallucinating.))

NOTE to the first-time user of SubSITE: Because we're SO POWERFUL, this site occasionally gets TOO BUSY. If our pages don't load reasonably fast for you, BOOKMARK us and COME BACK TOMORROW. We don't want you to blow off Eternal Salvation just because you happened to hit this website on a bad day.

Welcome to

The Church of the SubGenius
BRAIN TOOLKIT AND SURREALITY REBOOT

Pornological Dementertainment -- Works from your computerOUT
"It's Better Than Life!"

CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR. You must have been found worthy. At least somewhat worthy.

This is the last "normal" page you'll see for a while... possibly a very long while. If you dare to push the limits of your own comprehension, and want to SEE THE GOOD STUFF, you must now make some HARD CHOICES.

WHICH PATH WILL YOU TAKE?

OR

WORLD WIDE SLACK?!?

$BOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBfNoRdBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`::::! !:::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::! !:::|/ ~ \|`::::|/ ~ \| `::|/ ~ \|' `|/ ~ \|::' |/ ~ \|::::'|/ ~ \|:::! !:::|'-.-`| :::|'-.-`| :|'-.-`| |'-.-`|: |'-.-`|::: |'-.-`|:::! !:: (|e|e|? ::(|e|e|? ' (|e|e|? ` ' (|e|e|? ` (|e|e|?.: (|e|e|? ::! !. `._^_,'' :`._^_,'..' `._^_,'`...'`._^_,' `..`._^_,'. ``._^_,' .! !. \\=// \\=// \\=// \\=// \\=// \\=// .! : U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ : @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \& Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S E$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$E %%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%WiZ the 3-D$

GO AHEAD -- TOUCH DOBBS... IN THE FACE... or else FEEL
THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL !!

FREE YOURSELF from that which has enslaved you...

GRAPHICS & MULTIMEDIA LIVE INTERNET RADIO

SACRED SOUNDS ORDAINMENT, SUPPLIES , SEX

Interactive MARRIAGE EVENTS, NUDITY

BUT... WHAT IS THIS CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS?

GAMES & SuBwArEz IRC, PERSONALS

LOCAL SUBGENIUS RADIO CLASSIC SUBGENIUS BOOKS and MAGAZINES

*AFRAID?*

RED HOT RECENT NEWS

HEAVEN'S GATE CULT SUICIDE -- THE HIGHER SOURCES TRUTH ABOUT THE HALE-BOPP COMET / SUBGENIUS CONNECTION

Lurkers, Peeping Toms, impetuous SubGenii craving fellowship, and those with a burning urge to contribute should investigate the one true SubGenius newsgroups, alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack -- Bonfires of the Gods. Or, to complain or offer suggestions, email JESUS CHRIST at The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., Dallas headquarters.

This site looks best with SLACK.

NEW SOFTFOCUS DOBBSHEAD, above, by Atom Funway; almost ALL other art on this first page is by Irreverend Friday Jones!
Wings o' Slack Clock-Dagger by Rev. Numen Remissionis after Robert Williams. Sound-Earred-"Bob" played by Rev. Noah Stewart. The amazing backgrounds which now litter our pages are mostly warped by those mysterious maniacs at ATOM FUNWAY PLASTICO from older SubGenius art. The original Sacred Hieroglyph Border is by Stang, Mavrides and Hellswami Satellite Weavers. Most of the layout of this site, such as it is, is by Rev. Ivan Stang, with a lot of help lately from IrRev. Friday Jones, Rev. Eyre Rend, Rev. Noah Stewart, Rev. Morvus Thenu, Rev. Zachary Carleton, Rev. Jesus Christ Devilacqua.

WE HAVE WON EVERY EXISTING 'BEST OF,' 'COOLEST' WEBSITE AWARD THAT EXISTS. But WHO CARES WHAT A BUNCH OF UNSAVED HUMAN PINKS THINK, ANYWAY?? Instead, we here PROUDLY display the ONLY award that COUNTS:

	GRAPHICS & MULTIMEDIA		LIVE INTERNET RADIO
	SACRED SOUNDS		ORDAINMENT, SUPPLIES , SEX
	Interactive MARRIAGE		EVENTS, NUDITY

	GAMES & SuBwArEz		IRC, PERSONALS
	LOCAL SUBGENIUS RADIO		CLASSIC SUBGENIUS BOOKS and MAGAZINES