SubSITE

((No, this site doesn't change slightly every few days. You are probably hallucinating.))

NOTE to the first-time user of SubSITE: Because we're SO POPULAR, this site occasionally gets TOO BUSY. If our pages don't load reasonably fast for you, BOOKMARK us and COME BACK TOMORROW. We don't want you to blow off Eternal Salvation just because you happened to hit this website on a bad day.

The Church of the SubGenius
BRAIN TOOLKIT AND SURREALITY REBOOT

Pornological Dementertainment -- Works from your computerOUT
"It's Better Than Life!"

CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR. You must have been found worthy. At least somewhat worthy.

This is the last "normal" page you'll see for a while... possibly a very long while. If you dare to push the limits of your own comprehension, and want to SEE THE GOOD STUFF, you must now make some HARD CHOICES.

WHICH PATH WILL YOU TAKE?

PINKNESS AND HORROR

OR

WORLD WIDE SLACK?!?

$BOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBfNoRdBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`::::! !:::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::! !:::|/ ~ \|`::::|/ ~ \| `::|/ ~ \|' `|/ ~ \|::' |/ ~ \|::::'|/ ~ \|:::! !:::|'-.-`| :::|'-.-`| :|'-.-`| |'-.-`|: |'-.-`|::: |'-.-`|:::! !:: (|e|e|? ::(|e|e|? ' (|e|e|? ` ' (|e|e|? ` (|e|e|?.: (|e|e|? ::! !. `._^_,'' :`._^_,'..' `._^_,'`...'`._^_,' `..`._^_,'. ``._^_,' .! !. \\=// \\=// \\=// \\=// \\=// \\=// .! : U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ U/_/ : @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \&~ @/ \& Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S E$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$E %%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%WiZ the 3-D$

GO AHEAD -- TOUCH DOBBS... IN THE FACE... or else FEEL
THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL !!

FREE YOURSELF from that which has enslaved you...

GRAPHICS & MULTIMEDIA *AFRAID?*

LIVE INTERNET RADIO ORDAINMENT, SUPPLIES , SEX

SACRED SOUNDS EVENTS, NUDITY

BUT... WHAT IS THIS CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS?

GAMES & SuBwArEz IRC, PERSONALS

Interactive MARRIAGE LOCAL SUBGENIUS RADIO

CLASSIC SUBGENIUS BOOKS and MAGAZINES

RED HOT RECENT NEWS

Lurkers, Peeping Toms, impetuous SubGenii craving fellowship and those with a burning urge to contribute should investigate the true SubGenius newsgroups, alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack-- Bonfires of the Gods. Or, to complain or offer suggestions, email JESUS CHRIST at The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., Dallas headquarters.

This site looks best with SLACK.

Blind "Bob" by Dr. G. Gordon Gordon. Wings o' Slack Clock-Dagger by Rev. Numen Remissionis after Robert Williams. Borders, HotBob Knob by Rev. Friday Jones. Sound-Earred-"Bob" played by Rev. Noah Stewart. The amazing backgrounds which now litter our pages are mostly by those mysterious maniacs at ATOM FUNWAY PLASTICO. The original Sacred Hieroglyph Border is by Stang, Mavrides and Hellswami Satellite Weavers. Most of the layout of this site, such as it is, is by Rev. Ivan Stang, with a lot of help lately from IrRev. Friday Jones, Rev. Eyre Rend, Rev. Noah Stewart, Rev. Morvus Thenu, Rev. Zachary Carleton, Rev. Jesus Christ Devilacqua.

WE USED TO DISPLAY the whole array of "Best Website" awards here; we won every one of 'em, long ago, HANDS DOWN. But they eat up download time, they are corny, and besides, WHO CARES WHAT A BUNCH OF UNSAVED HUMAN PINKS THINK, ANYWAY?? Instead, we here PROUDLY display the ONLY award that COUNTS:

	GRAPHICS & MULTIMEDIA		*AFRAID?*
	LIVE INTERNET RADIO		ORDAINMENT, SUPPLIES , SEX
	SACRED SOUNDS		EVENTS, NUDITY

	GAMES & SuBwArEz		IRC, PERSONALS
	Interactive MARRIAGE		LOCAL SUBGENIUS RADIO