XIST PORTAL SET TO OPEN ON SCHEDULE!!
The two Great Red Spots of Jupiter are due to COLLIDE on July 4!
And so the great storms of Jupiter will converge on July 4, with "UNKNOWN RESULTS"...?
Or perhaps NOT so unknown! For this CAN BE NO LESS than "THE GREAT CONJUNCTION" predicted in PreScriptures. When the 10 million Monoliths emerge from the center of the Vortex, in pairs, criss-crossed to formXs, THAT SHALL BE OUR CUE.
You'll notice that July 5 landed on Wednesday this year. We pray you DIDN'T PINK OUT! X-DAY is YOUR ONLY RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY.
CALL OUR TOLL-FREE NUMBER TO ORDER BY CREDIT CARD OR IF YOU HAVE SECURITY QUESTIONS:
WHAT IS X-DAY? Read the SubGenius Pamphlet #1
WHERE??!? BRUSHWOOD FOLKLORE CENTER, SHERMAN, NEW YORK, USA, THIS ISLAND EARTH! BUT NOT FOR LONG!! SEE THE DIRECTIONS -- HOW TO GET TO BRUSHWOOD!
HOW MUCH??? Only $30. But it's MEMBERS ONLY. Membership is $30. If you weren't a Member already, it'll cost you $60 altogether. A CHEAP PRICE for SALVATION, if you think about it. Also a cheap price for ANY weekend-long, totally spectacular and weird campout -freakout-musical/religious event. CAMPING is another $10 per person.
This year you can become as involved as you want, way ahead of time, via the
Try this 2-minute X-DAY COMMERCIAL in RealMedia format (or this 1.2 mb download -- then must be unZipped, then play in RealPlayer)
DONATE to bring MORE SLACK to X-Day:
Confirmed Superstar Bands, Doktors: THE BILLY NAYER SHOW! • THE AMINO ACIDS! • Dr. Howll! Rev. Susie the Floozy! • Lonesome Cowboy Dave! • Dr. Philo Drummond and Dr. G. Gordon Gordon WON'T BE THERE! • Jesus • Rev. Ivan Stang • Magdalen • Nickie Deathchick • Princess Wei "R." Doe • Rev. Carter LeBlanc • Rev. Alex Thompson • Dok Frop • Sister Decadence • Dr. Dark's BULLDADA BADFILM DRIVE-IN of the Damned ! • Rev. abNorm Nihil • Sinphaltimus Exmortis • Pastor Pressure • Pater Nostril • Rev. Eggplant • Richard Skull • Rev. Pantiara Evockavitch • and a slackload of newcomers whose real names wouldn't mean anything here YET, but no doubt will strike fear in the hearts of millions by July 6. If there is one.
art at right by Heart Ignition
It's time to KISS ALL CALENDARS GOODBYE!
TUBS AND TUBS OF PURPLE KOOL-AID!
SPONTANEOUS DOKTORBAND COMBUSTION!
TRAINED PRAIRIE SQUID GIGGIN'-PARTIES!
(Free Debeaking Tools to 1st 5 giggees)
SPORTS FIGURE BODY PART LAUNCHING!
NUDE CHAINSAW JUGGLING!
'FROP ENHANCEMENT WORKSHOPS!
LIVE FREAKS OF NATURE and ACID CASUALTIES!
FACE FUCKING BAT SPERM ANTIDOTE PUDDING COOK-OFF!
PRIVATE ADULT SEXHURT SEMINARS!
BONOBO CHIMPANZEE GOBBLIN' CONTESTS!
ODDLY NORMAL-SEEMING PEOPLE!
SEX GODDESSES, ELDER GODS, and XISTS!!!
IMAGINE -- the SHEER POWER TO BE BULLIED BY FAMOUS SUBGENIUS ZEN MASTERS FOR THE LAST TIME!!
IMAGINE -- YOUR BIG CHANCE to BUY EVERY SUBGENIUS TRINKET, ARTIFACT and GEEGAW EVER MADE by ANY SUBGENIUS at the "Final Fire Sale Black Fleece Market of Slack".
IMAGINE -- YOUR BIG CHANCE to meet those amazing, intriguing individuals you've heard on the radio, seen onstage, or read in alt.slack and the holy Church books -- AND, POST-RUPTURE, ATTACK THEIR ESCAPE VESSEL BATTLE PLANETS WITH YOURS!
IMAGINE -- YOUR BIG CHANCE to WIN BACK YOUR SOUL!!!
You'll be able to tell your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandkids, "I was at the X-Day Final Gathering in legendary Brushwood... Yep! 'Fropped up with the great Dr. Legume hisself there... even fucked Connie Dobbs! And "Bob" fucked me -- right good, I'd say!"
EDITED BEST-OF PHOTOS OF 8X-DAY
culled down for your pleasure and convenience to only the best
COMPLETE TEXT REPORTS ON 8X-DAY
from alt.slack and beyond, written by the SubGeniuses who lived through it
ALSO: The entire edited new 6X-Day documentary is now available in our catalog AS A FINISHED DVD
-- and also for free download in SVCD format (plays on DVD players!) on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack!
(As is all of the new two-DVD set of SubGenius music video animations, DOBBSEDELIASTESES.)
SEE the HUGE PHOTO REPORT, MASSIVE NEWSGROUP FEEDBACK FROM VIOLENT, DEPRAVED 4X-DAY CULT EVENT IN NEW YORK!!
1999'S XX-DAY (TONS OF PICS!! NOT FOR KIDS!!)
1998 -- THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL
(Until the REAL 1998 arrives!)
MAP OF BRUSHWOOD, SHERMAN, NY
by Irrev. Friday Jones
X-Day Brushwood Aerial Photo and Targeting Info
UFOs PHOTOGRAPHED OVER BRUSHWOOD!! See the incredible pictures by Saint N, taken from his Cessna!