Subject: Jihad in my pants

From: iDRMRSR

Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 28, 2001 10:12 PM

Tonight, to get my mind off our latest Holy War, I decided to drive over
to the Distant and Mysterious East Side of Cleveland, just about as far
as you can get, to try a newish Italian place called Buca di Beppo.

If you have ever seen a native Ohioan, trust me, they are usually very
large. See, there's nothing to do in this town for 6 months out of the
year except to eat. The local restaurants know this, and have lately
started catering to the native Ohioan crowd.

This place I thought was pretty darn expensive. For example, Three (3)
meatballs were $7.95. A SMALL plate of spaghetti and meatball was
$11.99. I ordered such a plate.

The meatball was the size of a small canteloupe! The serving of
spaghetti was approximately a gallon in size! And this was the SMALL
size! No wonder the prices.

I did my best to clean my plate. After all, I was on a strange side of
town, and I didn't want the other Native Ohioans to suspect that
anything was different about me whatsoever. I even ordered a slice of
cheesecake with raspberry sauce ($6.95) to finish things off without
suspicion. The slice was one sixth of a cheesecake that must have been
a yard and a half in diameter!

Right now, the meatball and the cheesecake are doing battle with my
insides. I am of necessity belching and farting quite a lot just to
keep everything safely inside and at body temperature.

A Jihad in my pants, I must say. But I ate so much, I no longer give a
rat's ass about current events. I am quite concerned about the outcome
of the battle in my guts at present. I'm so damn full, I am not even
going to get into the bag of Cheez Doodles I bought. If sleep comes
before evacuation is necessary (from either end) I think I shall sleep a
very long time.

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Original file name: Jihad in my pants - converted on Wednesday, 10 October 2001, 17:00