PS: And thank you "Bob" for Time Control,
so that I may HERE AND NOW dance on the graves of my
enemies knowing that I shall have them, alive and in
eternal torment, forever and ever, aboard the Saucers,
amen! IrRev. Friday Jones
Now that I think we ALL have had our fill, our nauseous painful tear-hurting belly full of planes running into buildings again and again, and people falling down again and again, and pain and ash and dust and suffering and blood and heroism and war AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN ...
... we get to ask ourselves "How could we improve on this calamity?"
When the Saucers arrive, we will ALL gain access to the fullest powers of Time Control, and will be able to go back and, with the full power of the Xist battle fleet behind us, redo that morning's history as you please!!
So - what shall it be?
Will King Kong be waiting to slap the planes out of the air?
Or will it be the 500-foot-tall ghost of Charlie Chan (for you Weekly World News fans)?
Will the towers collapse EXCEPT for the SubGenii in the building, who will remain standing on thin air AS THOUGH it was a floor? (Bonus points: watching the SubGenii fumble around for the invisible stairwell; watching them float down in the ethereal elevator).
Allowing the 106th floor to collapse, with much screaming and rumbling and dust and chaos; and then, one minute later; the 105th floor implodes; and then one minute later, the 104th floor; like the world's tallest stack of dominos going down in slooooow motion.
Unleashing pteranodons straight out of "The Lost World" to pluck helpless people from the ledges they clng to, and devour them, allowing their dismembered remains to drop on incoming police vehicles! (A 500-foot-tall Willis O'Brien materializing to manipulate the dinosaurs would be the icing on the cake). (As would a 500-foot-tall Larry Cohen directing Q, the Flying Serpent).
Neo from "The Matrix" flies up in front of the plane, stops it with one hand, and then turns it into a giant cotton candy cloud that wafts the passengers to Los Angeles. The hijackers, meanwhile, are devoured by giant flying pigs.
Will the building DUCK as the plane approaches it?
Will the hijackers be met at the gate, not by a pleasantly smiling stewardess, but by Farmer Vincent from "Motel Hell", pig head firmly astride shoulders and chainsaw A-SMOKIN'?
Or shall they face that most distinctly American and New York of terrors: THE STA-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN!
The choice - is YOURS.
PS: And thank you "Bob" for Time Control,
so that I may HERE AND NOW dance on the graves of my
enemies knowing that I shall have them, alive and in
eternal torment, forever and ever, aboard the Saucers,
amen!
- Friday Jones
www.fridayjones.com
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art by subvorkian