He started leaving hints of his presence in the cheesy ads of the 1950s, following his Divine Emaculation by JHVH-1 Itself -- alien Space God from some Corporate Sin Galaxy. Today, despite persecution and harrassment, his Church is the Zorro of world religions, scratching a bloody 'B' on the beefy seat of The Conspiracy!! He is here to SMITE the Mediocretins, Assouls, Glorps, Conformers, Nuzis, Barbies and Kens -- the FALSE PROPHETS and PINK BOYS who have made "NORMALITY" the NORM!! ALL PINKS ARE LIVING STEREOTYPES -- dupes of the Conspiracy, lacking the spark of originality which is the trademark of every SubGenius soul. AND YET THEY CONTROL THE EARTH. Creatures of such BLINDNESS and VENALITY as these LOWLY HUMANS have never had so much POWER over ALL NATURE before, and there's NO TELLING what might happen. The reins of control must be wrested from Their clammy grip before it's TOO LATE!!

"BOB" is the MYSTIC SUPERSALESMAN on whose WHEELING AND DEALING SKILLS the FATE OF THIS UNIVERSE DEPENDS!! "BOB" is HE who has come to AWAKEN US to the SLACK that has been robbed from our kind for CENTURIES -- the ONLY INTERCESSOR between MANKIND and the STARK FIST OF REMOVAL, that all-smashing force from Above which we must simultaneously placate and defy.

And -- huh? You mean you really didn't know about "Bob" and "Slack?" You didn't even suspect that there was a Conspiracy of NORMALS leeching away your Slack all the time, like vampires who don't know any better -- that there are really two species of upright bipeds on Earth, US and THEM?? You didn't know that?

Oh, well, forget it, we didn't mean you, we meant the next guy. No, seriously, don't worry about it. You don't need to know who "Bob" is. Or was. It's no big deal. Really. Just throw this away. Now. Look for something else to read. You don't want to be CAUGHT with this. PUT IT DOWN NOW. There's something WRONG with THIS PAMPHLET in your hands, it's upsetting you, its authors must be CRAZY, EITHER THAT OR ELSE THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE UP TIL NOW YOU HAD BEEN HYPNOTISED INTO THINKING EVERYTHING WAS OKAY, BUT SOMETHING IN HERE HAS TRIGGERED THE SCALES TO FALL FROM YOUR EYES, BUT YOU'RE NOT READY YET... you're having intense feelings of Deja Vu, as if YOU HAVE READ THIS SOMEWHERE BEFORE... THERE! WE DID IT! WE GOT YOU TO READ THIS FAR AND NOW IT'S TOO LATE!

By the way, it wasn't the words that held the code-trigger*, it was THE WHITE SPACES AROUND THE BLACK LETTERS. You will someday be glad we have done this to you, because EVEN YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BE A STOOGE WARRIOR for SLACK and FREEDOM -- if not now, then at least in some future lifetime in which you have more balls or ovaries.

*KING FELIX was here