DON'T DO THIS:
Just thought I'd share with you all a neat little trick I cooked up way
back when for a self-portrait photo I was working on...
First, a warning to the dumbshits: this involves real flames, and
genuine danger. Don't do this if you have hair like Robert Smith, or
the brain capacity of the House of Representatives... Substitutions
are discouraged. And if you manage to hurt yerself, don't come crying
(or litigating) to me.
Ok. You will need:
A pipe, the more Dobbs-like the better.
Some tissue paper or other absorbent paper product
(best to avoid lotioned, scented stuff...)
Some lighter fluid (do NOT substitute anything here. Zippo-type
lighter fluid or just don't bother.)
A lot of easily impressed Bobbie friends or enemies.
The trick is, quite simply, to moisten (not "drench") the tissue paper
with lighter fluid, wad it securely into the bowl of the pipe, find your
easily amused friends (outdoors, preferably) and say "watch this!" Now,
making sure that your fingers are not dripping with lighter fluid, light
your pipe and (VERY IMPORTANT!> EXHALE. Gently at first. A pillar of
up to two feet of flame will leap skyward from the bowl of the pipe in a
stunning pyrotechnic display, very likely removing an eyebrow in the process.
This accomplished, grin like an idiot and marvel at your pals'
stunned expressions. Say "neat, huh?" Extinguish all smoking materials.
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-><- "My life is a miasma of woe and despair! I'm gonna move
[roach@primenet.com] to New York City, do heroin and die!" -Baboon Dooley
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Subject: Re: Fool your friends, Melt your enemies.
From: Joyce <ema@cerf.net>
DON'T DO THIS EITHER (ALL PREVIOUS CAVEATS APPLY)
While you are on a pyro spree, you may as well know that Cremora. is
extremely flammable.
What you can do is get a big economy-size tub of Cremora., and stand on top
of a garage, or on a patio or something.
Then, your friend stands below on the street, and as you are pouring the
Cremora. down, they light
it with a lighter. You just need to catch the beginning of the trail- the
rest will just catch on.
I don't know how well other brands work. Also, the person with the lighter
should not have a lot of
arm hair. They should have pretty quick reflexes, though.
Original file name: Fool_your_friends,_Melt_
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