POLL: How To Run A Proper Devival?

From: sendnospamtophloighd@yahoo.spamless.com (Phloighd)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: sendnospamtophloighd@yahoo.spamless.com
Date: Fri, Jul 7, 2000 4:24 PM
Message-ID: <3966589e.9723384@news-server>

So this has been on my mind for some time, and being an insular
few-friends-nearby kind of guy, I need help with this. There haven't
been any devivals near me, ever, as far as I know (I'm in Jesse Helms
country). I'd like to put together a manual of hints and tips on how
to put together a not-too-shabby devival, and perhaps organize one in
"the future." Here's a list of questions me and others put together
in no particular order. If you have any experience here, please toss
your voice in the salad along with some blue cheese:

How much initial investment is required?

How do you con people into doing work you don't know how to do? For
free or close to it?

How much needs to be planned beforehand, and how much happens
spontaneously?

What's a good number of preachers/bands/starving artists? Min/max?

What's the best way to advertise?

How much do you charge to get in?

When can you call it a Subgenius Devival, and use the sacred head?
How much does the church have to be involved? Must you send them cash
from the proceeds, if any?

Must one get one's own security?

How long does one typically run?

Who will come to the devival and preach/play for just a plane ticket?
For a plane ticket and hotel room? For the promise of sex with a live
nude girl?

Etc. Please add any more questions as well as necessary.

Fuck this work shit,

Phloighd
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: POLL: How To Run A Proper Devival?
From: onan@slartibartfast.exocet-industries.cx (Onan Canobite)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: onan@subgenius.com
Date: Fri, Jul 7, 2000 6:25 PM
Message-ID: <slrn8mctak.18d.onan@slartibartfast.exocet-industries.cx>

Phloighd <sendnospamtophloighd@yahoo.spamless.com>:
>How much initial investment is required?

Rental of the Stang will be your #1 expense, and your #1 draw. Don't
skimp, rent the finest. Cost? Ask <jesus@subgenius.com>

>How do you con people into doing work you don't know how to do? For
>free or close to it?

You'll know you're doing "Bob's" will if it works out whtout trying
much.

>How much needs to be planned beforehand, and how much happens
>spontaneously?

You need to plan out EVERYTHING in advance. Nothing will happen that
way.

>What's a good number of preachers/bands/starving artists? Min/max?

Fewer is better.

>What's the best way to advertise?

Take hostages on live TV.

>How much do you charge to get in?

Movie rates.

>When can you call it a Subgenius Devival, and use the sacred head?
>How much does the church have to be involved? Must you send them cash
>from the proceeds, if any?

Rent the Stang unit. The Head is not available at any price.

>Must one get one's own security?

Ask the club.

>How long does one typically run?

Too long.

>Who will come to the devival and preach/play for just a plane ticket?
>For a plane ticket and hotel room? For the promise of sex with a live
>nude girl?

Papajoe? Sterno? Hal? Onan?

- O.

--
Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> http://www.subgenius.com/
Lemurian Toll Free Voice Message and Fax Number: 877-380-0077 ext.976
Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: POLL: How To Run A Proper Devival?
From: SWILBERT® <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Jul 7, 2000 7:10 PM
Message-ID: <39667F88.5C4F@subgenius.com>

How I do it is tell people there is going to be a devival and some goof
comes along and offers to do all the work.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: POLL: How To Run A Proper Devival?
From: "Rev. Pee Kitty" <pkitty@brainpuke.REMOOVE-THIS.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Jul 7, 2000 8:15 PM
Message-ID: <8k62rt45r1@news2.newsguy.com>

Phloighd <sendnospamtophloighd@yahoo.spamless.com> wrote:
> So this has been on my mind for some time, and being an insular
> few-friends-nearby kind of guy, I need help with this. There haven't
> been any devivals near me, ever, as far as I know (I'm in Jesse Helms
> country). I'd like to put together a manual of hints and tips on how
> to put together a not-too-shabby devival, and perhaps organize one in
> "the future." Here's a list of questions me and others put together
> in no particular order. If you have any experience here, please toss
> your voice in the salad along with some blue cheese:

THE FIRST THING YOU DO is contact Jesus and Friday Jones and beg for help
and advice. Without doing that, the Tampa Bay Devival would never have
gone off like it did.

> How much initial investment is required?

We ended up paying the club $200, paying three preachers $100 each (a very
low fee - they were kind enough to preach for travel expenses only), and
sinking about $300 into printing for all the flyers, posters, etc. It
helps to get a consortium together and share the burden...

> How do you con people into doing work you don't know how to do? For
> free or close to it?

Find a SubGenius who works in a printing shop. Get other Yetinsyny to make
up graphics for you. Get your friends drunk and go canvassing.

> How much needs to be planned beforehand, and how much happens
> spontaneously?

EVERYTHING that you want to happen MUST be planned. This is NOT X-Day, and
your audience will NOT be into participating... they may not even get
rowdy. Hopefully this will not happen and lots of crazy shit will happen,
but don't count on it.

> What's a good number of preachers/bands/starving artists? Min/max?

Four *solid* preachers. Two more that you're willing to take a chance on
(performace artists go here). Two or three bands MAX, split up into 20
minute sets (MAYBE 30), for a TOTAL of 1 1/2 hours of music or so, MAX.
For example, a good schedule may be: Intro (10'), Rant (15'), Band (20'),
Rant (15'), Band (20'), Rant (15'), Band (20'), etc.

> What's the best way to advertise?

Local papers. If you have a local free 'alternative' paper you can usually
get great promotion for free! Call local radio stations. Put up flyers on
campuses and in local record stores, and maybe at CERTAIN concerts, but
don't focus on it.

> How much do you charge to get in?

A little more than a movie, like Onan sed: We charged $8.50 in advance or
$10 at the door and they came. Don't set it too high, but DON'T set it too
low either or you won't make any money!

> When can you call it a Subgenius Devival, and use the sacred head?

The Dobbshead? Ask Ivan...if you have ANY clue about what you're doing,
I'm sure you'll have his blessing.

> How much does the church have to be involved? Must you send them cash
> from the proceeds, if any?

Obtain all your swag from the Church. Sell it. You get some money, they
get the rest. VERY FAIR arrangement. Try for memberships, too.

> Must one get one's own security?

Ask the club.

> How long does one typically run?

DON'T try for 8 hours like we did... 4 hours seems about right to me.
DOn't worry, they run long. Plan short.

> Who will come to the devival and preach/play for just a plane ticket?
> For a plane ticket and hotel room? For the promise of sex with a live
> nude girl?

Ask Papa Joe, Susie, Lilith, or me. Others may step forward and
volunteer...

--
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!

::: Conspiracy religions CONvert, the Subgenius SUBverts!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: POLL: How To Run A Proper Devival?
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jul 9, 2000 2:33 PM
Message-ID: <090720001333488278%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3966589e.9723384@news-server>, Phloighd
<sendnospamtophloighd@yahoo.spamless.com> wrote:

> How much initial investment is required?

Depends on whether you're flying out any preachers, and whether they
charge money for their time. If everyone is local or paid for their own
flights, your biggest investment is in PR, which might be cheap or
costly.

Example: A devival with Stang preaching in Seattle costs in the
neighborhood of $1500, give or take a few hundred. This is due to
Stang's preaching fees and the costs of paying off our Poster Mafia, as
well as poster production and duplication costs.

> How do you con people into doing work you don't know how to do? For
> free or close to it?

You snag their interest by giving them a taste of your vision and how
they might be involved. After a while they'll make it their job and
will get their own perverse slack from it.

Example: Rev. Bunnyboy has written musical themes and has arranged
SubGenius songs for Kenneth Huey, and has worked sound at two different
devivals, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE LIKES TO DO. Kenneth Huey has done the
poster art for the last two devivals, because HE LIKES TO DO THIS.

> How much needs to be planned beforehand, and how much happens
> spontaneously?

All depends on whether you've got others helping. If you have a broad
but vague enough plan and let individuals do whatever they need to do
to carry out their particular part, not much planning is needed at all.

Some things should be planned out well, though. Most notably, picking
up any preachers from the airport. Three preachers coming in on three
different flights over the course of a day or so will drive any one
person nuts. Figuring out who should pick up whom will save heartache.

> What's a good number of preachers/bands/starving artists? Min/max?

I allocate about 15 minutes per preacher, and 45 minutes per band, and
keep devivals at around 3-4 hours in length. You do the math.

> What's the best way to advertise?

CHEAPLY.

> How much do you charge to get in?

Depends on expenses. In Seattle, $10 for a devival isn't uncalled-for.

> When can you call it a Subgenius Devival, and use the sacred head?

Are you preaching about "Bob"?

> How much does the church have to be involved? Must you send them cash
> from the proceeds, if any?

It's always a good idea to call Jesus and tell him what you have in
mind. Tithing is always a nicety, but better still is buying swag from
the Foundation for sale at your own devival. You keep the profits from
sales, and Jesus already made a sale, so it's a win-win situation as
long as sales are strong. And at most devivals, sales are VERY strong.

> Must one get one's own security?

The club generally provides security, but having extra eyes to catch
things before the club does is always a good idea.

> How long does one typically run?

C,f above,

> Who will come to the devival and preach/play for just a plane ticket?
> For a plane ticket and hotel room? For the promise of sex with a live
> nude girl?

ME ME ME.

Actually, I need a plane ticket, room, and board. If you have a decent
sofa and can cook I can crash at your place. Other considerations, such
as frappy and money, are always welcome.

I'd ask around. Don't be shy, approach whoever you want to preach and
ask them what they need from you in order to preach.

--
=====Her Ladyship Rev Dkr St Popess Lilith von Fraumench, Esquire=====
===Prophet--Devivor--Corrective Phrenologist--XXX-Day Stage Manager===
==http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com===http://foolspress.com===(887)381-9354==
==Inside the heart of every genius lurks a tard yearning to be free.==

Back to document index

Original file name: POLL- How To Run A Proper D... - converted on Wednesday, 19 July 2000, 10:17