BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC

From: emperor norton xxiii <neckercube23NOneSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jul 15, 2000 7:52 PM
Message-ID: <0b51f39f.c9954d12@usw-ex0107-049.remarq.com>

Dear Sirs,

I regret to inform you that I am canceling my membership in your
church. I believe that the efficaciousness of this organization has
worn thin. I have torn up my offcial ordained minister certificate and
mailed it to the headquartes in Dallas with no return address. The
church has been a source of inspiration to me for over nine years, but
after a brief hiatus in the glorious penal institutions of this
country, I am afraid I have lost my will to be weird.

It would be nice to say that you all are a bunch of gibbering
eschatologically bent morons who couldn't find their arses with a
flashlight, but in truth there are a number of erudite and genuinely
funny people who are members. Unfortunatly I feel that the church has
deviated from the original purpose that Stang had in mind. It seems to
be filled with too many angsty twenty-something yahoos that have a
polysyllabic form of Tourette's Syndrome and who are still pissed
because they had their lunch money stolen in school. They desperately
long to be accepted by someone, anyone, even if they have to pay to be
so. I can empathize with the sensation, but I am no longer there.

In closing I would like to thank those die-hards such as Onan and
Suzy the Floozy, who are still carrying the torch in the true RAW
fashion. I hope and pray that you all achieve whatever the hell it is
that your looking for in life.

Sincerely,

Ps. BOB can suck my hairy nut sac

* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jul 15, 2000 6:48 PM
Message-ID: <8kr0pp$3ig@news-central.tiac.net>

emperor norton xxiii <neckercube23NOneSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid> wrote:
> Unfortunatly I feel that the church has
> deviated from the original purpose that Stang had in mind.

Lest you forget, that's exactly what you're SUPPOSED to do. When you get
tired of it, schizm and do your own thing.

Having said that, you should also be aware that the purpose of this Church
is what YOU have in mind, not what Stang has in mind.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC
From: sosodada <irving@berlin.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: irving@berlin.com
Date: Sat, Jul 15, 2000 8:59 PM
Message-ID: <3971250F.CDC6C2AF@berlin.com>

<< It seems to be filled with too many angsty twenty-something yahoos that...
desperately long to be accepted by someone, anyone, even if they have to pay to
be so.>>

Well, I tend to think it's very liberal of the Church to be so accepting of
anyone with $30.00. That's what Churches are about -- the connection with a
community, the solace of a group mind. This sort of psycho-sociological comfort
is well worth the small price tag of a membership fee.

It's nice to know that people such as the type you describe have someplace to
find social acceptance. The Foundation is quite forward-thinking to just say to
anyone with $30.00, "hey -- you're okay with us. We don't care about the
fukfukfuk Turrettes syndrome or the length anal beads hanging out of your pants;
all that's okay here. Feel free to let your anal beads run all up and down your
big intestine till they're dangling from your mouth if you're comfortable that
way. Feel free to get down with your bad self, your Yeti self, and what ever
other selves you need to be in touch with for a mere $30.00 membership fee."

A small price to pay, indeed.

emperor norton xxiii wrote:

> Dear Sirs,
>
> I regret to inform you that I am canceling my membership in your
> church. I believe that the efficaciousness of this organization has
> worn thin. I have torn up my offcial ordained minister certificate and
> mailed it to the headquartes in Dallas with no return address. The
> church has been a source of inspiration to me for over nine years, but
> after a brief hiatus in the glorious penal institutions of this
> country, I am afraid I have lost my will to be weird.
>
> It would be nice to say that you all are a bunch of gibbering
> eschatologically bent morons who couldn't find their arses with a
> flashlight, but in truth there are a number of erudite and genuinely
> funny people who are members. Unfortunatly I feel that the church has
> deviated from the original purpose that Stang had in mind. It seems to
> be filled with too many angsty twenty-something yahoos that have a
> polysyllabic form of Tourette's Syndrome and who are still pissed
> because they had their lunch money stolen in school. They desperately
> long to be accepted by someone, anyone, even if they have to pay to be
> so. I can empathize with the sensation, but I am no longer there.
>
> In closing I would like to thank those die-hards such as Onan and
> Suzy the Floozy, who are still carrying the torch in the true RAW
> fashion. I hope and pray that you all achieve whatever the hell it is
> that your looking for in life.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Me
>
> Ps. BOB can suck my hairy nut sac
>
> * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
> The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!

--
MZD
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC
From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@HORMELinfomagic.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jul 15, 2000 9:46 PM
Message-ID: <sn2brk5knd620@corp.supernews.com>

"emperor norton xxiii" wrote > I regret to inform you that I am canceling
my membership in your
church

you can't quit what you obviously never belonged to in the first place. you
either ARE or you AREN'T. everyone here is BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
people with no peers are immune to peer pressure, even the "seems to
be filled with too many angsty twenty-something yahoos that have a
polysyllabic form of Tourette's Syndrome and who are still pissed because
they had their lunch money stolen in school" type. nobody owes you jack shit
in the way of entertainment, but EVERYBODY OWES YOU EVERYTHING YOU CAN GET
OUT OF THEM YOURSELF.

you were waiting for the magic entertainment fairy to come and bless you
with great expectation earlugs in and why won't Stang be more somehow
hankerchiefs tied across your eyes while the carnival and freakshow was
passing by outside your army blanketed windows.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC
From: "Alison Carter" <alliekatzen@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jul 15, 2000 10:46 PM
Message-ID: <E6bc5.24772$Uq6.451401@typhoon2.ba-dsg.net>

"emperor norton xxiii" <neckercube23NOneSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid> wrote in
message news:0b51f39f.c9954d12@usw-ex0107-049.remarq.com...

The
> church has been a source of inspiration to me for over nine years, but
> after a brief hiatus in the glorious penal institutions of this
> country, I am afraid I have lost my will to be weird.
>

That's cuz you were bad at it. Ass. That's what you get for trying to be
like other people: your neighbor Bubba P. Rumpranger. You weren't looking
for reason to love your own differentness. You thought freaks were cool and
had to be ONE OF US ONE OF US!!!!!

ASS!!!!

> Unfortunatly I feel that the church has
> deviated from the original purpose that Stang had in mind.

I guess he had the time and inclination to call you personally and tell you
that. Oh, wait, you said "I feel"...that means he didn't. And, uh, by the
way, what purpose IS that, since your angry self can magically see into the
mind of someone who is happy and following their own damn slack? Oh, wait,
you can't- it's not mindreading, it's just a sack of pseudopsychic
JUDGMENT!!!!!!

ASS!!!!!

> It seems to
> be filled with too many angsty twenty-something yahoos that have a
> polysyllabic form of Tourette's Syndrome and who are still pissed
> because they had their lunch money stolen in school.

No. You just turned 30 and turned into a flabby old fart. Obviously you're
no longer twentysomething and have a problem with that. Too bad for you.
It's not the young people's fault. Con's got you on a string with that one.

Maybe some greasy Bobbie geek whining about stupid shit actually GOT TO YOU.
DUH!!!!!!! Don't you know that they're there for entertainment purposes
only?

Oh yeah, you must have been a Bobbie all this time. OOPS...I guess I just
wasted mine...

> In closing I would like to thank those die-hards such as Onan and
> Suzy the Floozy, who are still carrying the torch in the true RAW
> fashion. I hope and pray that you all achieve whatever the hell it is
> that your looking for in life.

Pray...PRAY? Oh, there's the source of that Slack barrier...you're AFRAID
OF DYING, YOU FLABBY OLD FART! AND you're bad at following the weird
people. Poor poor Bobbie.

What if I'm not...looking...for...anything...except...

ASS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>
> Sincerely,
>
> Me
>
> Ps. BOB can suck my hairy nut sac

"Bob" never gave a shit about you. Never will. Doesn't care. Doesn't want
to. Doesn't do much at all, in fact.

>
>
> * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network
*
> The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
>

Alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC
From: "Rev. Pee Kitty" <pkitty@brainpuke.REMOOVE-THIS.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jul 16, 2000 1:01 AM
Message-ID: <8krmjp019jb@news2.newsguy.com>

emperor norton xxiii <neckercube23NOneSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid> wrote:
> Unfortunatly I feel that the church has
> deviated from the original purpose that Stang had in mind.

See, HERE'S your problem.

Stang just did the business end. "Bob" was the founder here. This church
is, and always will be, about "Bob"... not ANY mere mortal, even his most
sacred scribe. This church is about three things:

"Bob", Slack, and X-Day

...and nothing about the church has changed. Your perception may have
changed, and sure, what Ivan (and the rest of us) says and does has
changed over time, but the Church of the SubGenius is a bulwark against
all, everpresent, ever ready.

Anyways, schisming is good. Come to your own conclusions and enjoy
yourself. Or don't - far be it from me to tell you what to do.

> Ps. BOB can suck my hairy nut sac

Ah, really? Have you ever considered joining Queers for "Bob"?

--
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!
GET SOME SLACK, CREATE SOME SLACK, OR DIE
THESE ARE YOUR *ONLY* CHOICES
-- St. Bubba
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT SAC
From: SWILBERT® <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jul 16, 2000 1:43 AM
Message-ID: <397167AE.6F9A@subgenius.com>

YOU CAN'T QUIT WHAT WE THRONE YOU OUT OF

Back to document index

Original file name: BOB CAN SUCK MY HAIRY NUT S... - converted on Wednesday, 19 July 2000, 10:17