X-Day Drill '96 Report Part 3

by Rev. Stang
Background on this one is from the classic Irwin Bergdol skull, rendered by Funway Plastico!

(VIDEO THREE)

Stang: Don't take the brown acid. Or the green acid either. Bummah, bummah.

Seeking another drummer...

Killer 3-note Jam starting up... dies.... as *Luceferian Liberation Front, Legume, Jesus hover around backstage in prep for Crucifiction...
Backstage shots of Legume, Jesus set-up... bad camera... Stang gives camera to ID.

THE SCOURGING OF JESUS and CRUCIFIXION OF DOBBS

Philo and Stang argue about what's more important, them jamming or this incoming crucifiction... New drummer Dr. Radionic joins them... Stang interrupts, starts requesting volunteers with small heads to wear the Sacred Masks: a John F. Kennedy, a NHGH, another OverMan, Satan, and a Human Being. And a bearer of The Bleeding Head.

Stang rant on Why We Kill "Bob". -- People put on masks, snake dance of people carrying the globe and the Head....

Dr. Legume holds the Whole World in his Hands... hangs the sacred blood-filled Globe.... leads chants... "I got a big fuckin' hammer in my hand... " Legume smashes globe, blood splatters all over Sexecutioner (ironically; he WAS on vacation from blood splattering acts). "It's the End Times!"

Stang and Jesus cut down the hanging Dobbs while Legume lectures: "We're living in an age when you'll see the corpse of the old world and the broken bones of time." Follow the smoke... *** The con's against you... (great con rant -- good lighting w/ sunset approaching) -- Stang grabs Dobbs corpse, fucks it while Legume rants. Legume introduces the unholy rituals, provides visual aid of calendar.... X-DAY RANT! **** Stang lofts dead Dobbs dummy... fucks dummy while Legume shoots off pistol... crowd goes nuts...***

Legume leads crowd to CRUCIFY Jesus... Crowd chant "CRUCIFY!" Pope Phreds grabs the board. Legume: "Take your crosspiece -- you're gettin' dragged to the Golgotha!" Stang humps Dobbs on Jesus, Legume scourges Jesus as crowd of masked revelers head up the hill at sunset to Golgotha... Pope Phred chastises Jesus... hideous tracking shot following crowd of lynchers up hill... "Bleeding Jesus good! Healed Jesus Bad!" ** Great chant for audio... "What is the Law? Are we not men?"

Scourging continues. Unthinkably hideous midieval like shots of crowd.... past the Maypole of the infidels... Stang rants... "So, King of the SubGenii, eh Jesus?" Stang looks for Sacred Hammer and Nails.... The Grey suggests a judgement. Stang: "Someone must die here today. Jesus is trying to make up for what his followers have done... he tried to make amends. Must we prove our faith by killing just another messiah, or shall it give us more Slack perhaps... to kill "Bob"??" Crowd demands "Bob"'s blood! The Grey looks on in disgust.

Dr. Legume assembles the Cross... "is it Contestant #1, Jesus, or #2, "Bob"?" Crowd chooses "Bob"...

Dobbs grins and smiles as they lay him on the cross... Jesus hammers nails into "Bob"'s hands, feet... Stang narrates tearfully as Jesus hammers Dobbs down... Toth is filming... "Nail the Pipe to his face!" Stang lectures re Satan and Jesus cooperating in the nailing of Dobbs... The sacred Stump is hoisted by many volunteers, a thousand Judases...

Dobbs is hung up against the sky, crowd chants to kill "Bob"... Stang, Philo, many spit on Dobbs, He gets erection... the Grey pokes at him... Susie the Floozie washes his feet with her hair, washes her armpits with his feet -- the OverMan spits on "Bob"... "He thirsts... pee upon him."

Legume sprays "Bob" with starter fluid... Stang lights Sacred Sword... "KILL DOBBS chant"... Stang fails to light Dobbs. Legume sprays fire across Dobbs! Dobbs goes up! His ass burns! Bloodthirst! Horror! ****** Incredible shot of burning Dobbs! His corpse swings hideously as LEFT HAND BURNS OFF... awful Dobbsflesh drips in fire like plastic, like children's pyjamas... "Anyone have any marshmellows?"

Legume, Stang, Jesus poke his remains. Stang lectures on. Disgusting arm of Dobbs burns upon cross... Philo questions, "Did we do the right thing here today?" "And so... fuck them if they canst take not a joke, and so "Bob" proved... he let us fuck him, that he might take a joke, the hideous punchline atop his hideous life... " Stang and Drummond try to out-bombast each other ... the crowd cries to kill JESUS NOW!!! "Eat of my charred body, drink of my sizzling fat..." Philo pukes in disgust at sizzling entrails.... Dobbs starts to reconstitute, Susie gets off on it. Sick Internet jokes. "We can probably sell that glove for $30...".. tape runs out.

Legume: "We have cleansed this place!" Stang burns dollar bill... tinders the tender. Stang realizes he's running things now that Dobbs is dead again. Price goes up. Philo calls to lynch Stang.

Legume spouts re: brain.... pulls out huge pink BRAIN... casts pieces of brain into audience... crowd hungrily devours brain fragments... Legume launches yet another brain. All SubGenii fall upon brains, devouring... Joe Mama and Stang lecture re brain devouring. "And so now we are free... Legume has given of his brain, Dobbs is dead, Jesus is scourged... NHGH is satisfied." Crowd lusts for more brains. Video looks like Island of Dr. Moreau... monsters gathered around flaming cross, bonfire....

Party winds down. Legume tries to lead in God Bless America. Stang sings "He's Bob." and "I'm Bob's Own." (messed up on tape)

Black helicopter spotted overhead. Stang leads crowd back down hill to hear SLC...
Susie complains that she never got to the Dobbs wang

JESUS in loincloth at pavillion updates things, introduces Rev. Matt's discoveries in Dobbsology regarding the math of the astronomy of the Dobbshead, lecture at midnight with telescope... Area 29... thanks crowd for not killing him.

(Tape of MY WALLET BELONGS TO "Bob" played to crowd during set-up)... Stang gathers up masks... does ad for Dobbs and NHGH masks by St. Joe Riley... crowd calls for killing of Stang, Stang points out how "old" that is... shames non-participants in audience, calls for ranters... gripes, bitches about his many chores... speculates upon his own GREAT POWER now that Dobbs is dead. Does Dracula "power" lines.

Philo calls for jamming. Stang requests "Who Do you Love."... call for new drummer...

SLC CONTINUED (W/ BRENT HENDERSON (Dr. PSYCHOTRONIC RADIONIC) NAMELESS JAM 1
Philo exhibits Lafe's one-string fropmeister bass.... "Now that the instrument's perfectly in tune... FUCK THIS PINK SHIT!!!" Insane aimless mystery jazz jam ensues with Lafe on ugly 1-string bass, Ray on guit, Philo horns, Dr. Radionics drums, Dobbs blood.

Ray fucks with mike. Aimless meanderings. Philo tells audience they're supposed to be laughing. Lafe and Philo wonder about what song they were just playing. Tune-ups of the Gods.

MYSTERY JAZZ ENSEMBLE PIECE #46 BLUE ensues.... unknown keyboardist. They investigate burning bug on lightbulb fixture. Band calls for Frop. Crowd requests "Freebird." Philo does sax madness, Lafe does Barbara Streisand hits while tuning and stalling. Philo explains that they feed off audience... audience starts responding.

JAM reensues. Slumping stumping jam. Goes on jazzishly for a goodly while. I disremember who that guy on the keyboards was... always had a pipe in his mouth, long-haired squared-jawed Dobbslike guy. Miller starts throwing in sound effects, it turns into violent Wotan jam... Steve Slack on bass, Lafe quits, Luceferian Liberation Front guy Tehudi doing some kind of keyboards, mixing in bg... jam becomes totally aimless for awhile. Searching for the beat...

Dr. Radionics (Rasta looking guy) starts ranting. Sound on video is not clear. Audio tape may be better. Great rant. (GOOD CU*s) -- MUST find way to extract vocals from hellmix.

NAMELESS JAM 2
Break as Philo exhorts Lafe to join back in... Bill T. Miller starts "If 6 Was 9" jam... *Dr. Radionics starts ranting again. (Video sound ok here) Osmotic jamming. "We will continue to shovel out truckloads of slack, 24-7... the Xmen will come to fuck with us... but we'll be there that day in number..."

nice drum jam starts, Wotan jam 3 ensues. Miller, Steve Slack, Love Corpses, Tehudi, *CU, mojo bag rap, jam goes aimless, irritation level increases. Ray Hay guitar riffs off Bill Miller samples. Rant incomprehensible behind sound (on video copy anyway). Becomes sea of noise, murk w/ Radionics beat and Ray Hay guitar space. REAL GOOD at very end, just before jam ends (also, end of Audio Show tape #4 side 1)

Stang introduces Susie... she's shy...
Stang flustered upon seeing her Devil Babe outfit...
SUSIE THE FLOOZIE
(GOOD!!! CUs**))
Tassles a'wagglin, Susie drenches us in the breadcrumbs of slack while Dobbs fries us up and dips us in Connie's honey mustard!
(Susie delivers too fast and good a rant for me to keep up with typing) -- Susie is shamed by crowd for carrying Dobbs' baby... "And as wet as that dream is, we've gotta follow it every step of the way. Take that despair and crack it like a whip! "Bob" is that entrenching tool..." Susie sizzles, hands out shovels to sinners and sinnerettes. !!!!! Indescribable, uncapturably great Susie rant. !!! AIEEEEE!!!!

Stang intros:

PAPA JOE MAMA 2
In full Nazi regalia, delivers rant re: the Reich and the blood flag. (Video sound has too much crowd noise, audio tape is GOOD) Reads the sacred document: WATERING DOWN DOBBS. SubGenius genocide... "to saboutage our seed, to rob our men of their precious bodily fluids!" Rant on human inbreeding. Great crowd response. GREAT Nazi-like CUs* -- Captain Bob's Star Crusier... "what if his crew fraternizes with the enemy? The crimes against the chosen race.... they label us... the untouchables... (superb rant on audio!)** -- what to do with the Vermin. Pink infestation... how to deal with it REASONABLY. "We'll be merciful... but we can't let them taint our race. There'll be plenty of blood mixing on X-Day... we'll give them the same chance they gave us when they were in charge. Not hate, intolerance; just common sense! When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. There's no such thing as safe sex with normals. Don't give a Pink an inch of what they want... let alone 10. It is more blessed to spill your seed than to plant it on noxious ground. For what profit the body that perish for the part?"

REV. GROOVY G proudly does sales rap, gives away FREE SHIT, *Good CU displays the new HypnoBobitizer... new black "Bob" shirts.

LEGUME AND THE BREASTS OF "DRUM"
Legume in Priest Robes once again lets Drum demonstrate BREASTS to Bobbies. "These are called breasts. Many of you have never seen them before today, and will never see them again after tomorrow. Don't feel shy about staring... What sets her apart from you is that she's gonna get to bed down a women tonight."

Stang raps re Internet, alt.slack. Does survey... intros the 4 dimensional preaching of:

*DR. DYNASOAR & STEVE SLACK
Dynasoar does intro to hymns. ... GREAT good-bad renditions of classic rock tunes)
1. ATLANTIS hymn!!
2. LITTLE PINK ONE
3. ((??))_ Classic damn rock tune I can't recall the actual name of
4. *** Dobbs the Mystic Salesman (to the tune of Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner)
5. Stop Hey Get it Back, Every SubGenius Must Have Slack (Buffalo Springfield )
6. "SLACK" to the tune of "KICKS" (Mitch Ryder tune)!! (vocals by Steve Slack)

Stang discussses varying reactions of over-and-under-40 crowd to those songs... reminds everyone of the 7 am ceremony; DON'T TOUCH THE PILS until exactly that time... mentions the iron-on tattoos.... bitches about how 40 people want to rant now that the stage has been empty all day... intros Nickie

REV. NICKIE'S SPANKING RITUAL
Nickie speaks re GUILT and removal of guilt... calls for volunteers, strips off overcoat, revealing nun dominatrix outfit.
Stang demands punishment, voices his support for strong women... gets butt whacked, demands more. Bill Miller suipplies excess sound effects. Steve Slack offers tapes, gets extra hard spanking for his cheapness. Nickie looks really good in nun get-up. Stang gets another whipping. Breaks tape in his back pocket.