X-Day Drill '96 Report Part 4

by Rev. Stang

((VIDEO FOUR))

** Susie the Floozie displays DIVINE BUTT while Nickie whips it... MAH GAWD. They got their $25 worth RIGHT THERE. Nickie signs off...

Stang requests even bigger, stronger women. Berates those who missed the Nude Baptism and fucked up like Hogan's goat. Praises the shit out of Bill T. Miller, who pretty much stage-directed the whole Drill and kept everything together. AND WHO BOUGHT OF HIS TAPES? Long ad for Bill's CDs AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE 'EM YOU SHOULD!!!

KING OF SLACK BILL T. MILLER (2
Slakfux Unite.... USED SLACK FOR SALE
X-Day's A'Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin' ((GOOD CUs**) then video is BAD
Great fx bits mixed in, Bill rants re: X-Day. Fucking Idiot Asshole is standing in front of Video Camera this whole time. The Idiot Asshole WILL not be on the saucers. Jesus finally moves the fucking idiot out of the way.
Alien Sex Orgy fx...

Bill intros Susie and Cheshire, the Free Condoms lady, to demonstrate how to apply a condom with one's mouth. ***

"YOU RANG" song duet -- Stang/Miller in hellish collaboration: video sound is best. YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE EYES....

Pastor Craig is shot by Legume for... well, for being Pastor Craig... Jesus attempts to resurrect him... Stang & Miller wing it. Strange moment between ...

***"PRAISE BOB KILL BOB" duet Stang/Miller... (wide shot of audience spazzing out) Stang attempts to exorcise the demon from Miller as he denies the truth of "Bob"... then Stang gives in, agrees that Dobbs is fucked... exhorts all to kill Dobbs... GREAT footage, Susie humps upon prone body... Stang oversees decapitation of Dobbs, KILL BOB orgy... TOTAL INSANITY, Stang attempts to cast out demons of blabbering bobbie assholes, those who buy no OBE CDs, ...

PRAISE BOB chorus **Miller w/ "Bob" Head....

Stang & Miller intoduce Tarla. ((CU Luciferians**))

TARLA STAR
(CUs**)
Tarla does poems:
*1.)
*2.) "Mary Jane"
**3.) women rant!!
4.) "Wake Up and Smell the Dead" * "I could have been..." (great fuckin' rant)
5.) DOBBS poem... !!

Tarla does short ad for her book.

Bill and Stang speculate re: who's next...
Special Alien Update

LUCIFERIAN LIBERATION FRONT (2 guys from Ft. Bragg in DAMN weird get-up with shitloads of good equipment)
AVATAR speaks -- information on surviving X-Day regarding multiple types of aliens. There is a way to identify which aliens to gravitate towards.. SubGenius individuality vs. alien collective consciousness computer. Phobos probe ... *** this is the source of the Grey's intelligence. The Xists use these same Greys to do their work... .. look for the Greys that have a SMILE on their faces.

TEHUTI speaks: Glad to be affiliated with "Bob", Slack, Life... as the aliens approach, as the planetoid Halle Bop approaches, we will be faced with CHOICES... espouse Slack."

PAPA JOE MAMA 3 (in executioner gear)

Stang torturedly intros:

ST. @NDREW rant
Why Hate? Excellent Hate rant. @ndrew proves his worth despite all the torture by Legume and Stang in superb rant. "Enough of their egocentric hate, boosting their human egos by stepping on others. "**** Good CUs. Racial rhetoric... why hate only humans? GREAT!***

Stang encourages sin in
SHOR DUR MARRIAGE
done this a million times... (video is ng, all CU, no one manning camera, though Stang does look unusually sexy in 3/4 lighting against Dobbshead bg, in Moses-like charisma)) Kid Ginsu will marry the sky... you might want to marry the Prairie Squid... praise Bill Hicks... ((shordurmar in standard version)) *(Good recording on video sound near end, with Bill Miller sfx)

As usual, no one is running camera while Stang is talking. Stang runs back to camera to shoot:

Legume attempts to get Stang to drink Jaegermeister.

Stang rants re today's youth, bars through peckers, the broomstick up the ass.

REV. PEE-KITTY
Rev. Pee Kitty despite his ludicrous physical appearance delivers unexpectedly intense and heartfelt KILLER DEATH RANT for Dobbs. Audience goes apeshit. Best response of whole show. "Pump up your calibre, increase your power, eat your parents, hate me, hate yourself for not hating enough!!@!!" (This needs to be transcribed) "IT IS YOUR MOVE!" Pee Kitty demonstrates far more balls than 99% of those reading these notes.

Stang and Miller have now been left to run all techno by themselves while all others party. Resentment towards non-helpers now building up on the part of techno-Stang as he reflects upon how he might have been able to rant, had anyone else besides him and Miller been capable of or willing to work the tape and video decks.

Legume, drunk as shit on Jaegermeister, sick of polka dot faced Dobbs, sick of Bobbies, sick of the lame shit, intros:

ANDREW THE FUCKING IMPALED

Pastor Craig inanely blabbers while Andrew sets up, Miller plays B.O.B. riffs.
Andrew runs through full Circus Apocolypse sideshow: fire, blood, pain, punctuated by Bill Miller samples.

Andrew calls audience in to experience the karma of pain, requests volunteer, gets Betsy (bad girl that came with Pee Kitty) to validate the reality of the nail, then Andrew (after quoting Copernicus from NY show regarding "BACTERIA") hammers the fucking nail directly into his fucking face. GOOD CU* and hammer sound effects... ** Sound of nail extracted from nose is audible... Andrew nonchalantly hammers screwdriver into his fucking face with superb Millerian sfx accompaniment. *** Reports on the hallucinations induced by screwdriver brushing agsinst medulla oblongata... the audience looks REALLY UGLY in that heightened state, so he retracts screwdriver from head. GREAT Miller back-up...

Andrew intros FIRE... firey pain. Despite Legume Jaegermeister, Andrew juggles three flaming torches, drops a few onto audience members and sets them temporarily aflame. Good firey audience footage... fucking idiot lies on stage under visibly drunken Andrew's torches... Andrew struggles to blow out the torches.

Andrew disclaims lightbulb eating, cheek skewering. Prepares to sew his own lips shut for first time.

Then... Legume demands that HE get his lips sewed shut. Challenges other assholes to line up behind him. Sissy dipshits giggle while Legume preps and Susie swings her Tail. Legume coughs Ebola onto audience. Audience thinks he's kidding. Andrew is ready to cooperate, but discovers that he has the wrong equipment. The needle is too small for the thread. Initial disappointment... struggle with equipment... Legume's Susie Penz goes to fetch darning needle. Legume rants re Dobbs mutilating him, he was a skinny little boy getting picked on, think he cares about mutilation?

Andrew, stalling, whips out torch, rants re fire, puts flaming wand into his mouth to extinguish it. Gobbles torch after torch.

**Andrew rants re: "the Apocalypse is going on all around you, the slow steady degradation of mankind, the breakdown of psyche, family, brain... that is the constant apocalypse."

Misc. bad audience noise footage...
Legume takes on the needle. Susie eggs him on, Stang moves in with camera for extreme close-up: Susie swabs the needle...

LEGUME THE IMPALED
EXCELLENT extreme close-up of Legume shoving needle through lower lip, *** "REMEMBER THIS, PINK BOYS... YOU'RE NEXT!!!" Legume sticks cigaret onto end of pin so he can smoke with gaping mouth. Millerian FX go berserk... Audience reacts to Legume's insanity... "You're all a bunch of pussies!" BLEEDING HEAD GOOD HEALED HEAD BAD.

Susie struts about in Devil suit, she and Miller gear up for MORE MORE MORE...

LIVE SEX is occurring in audience -- barely captured on tape

Stang sez: If Legume can stick his lip, maybe we can survive till X-Day... little rant re X-Day... ***Legume: "Where's them little pussy boys who said "You can't hang since you didn't push that Stump up the hill?" --Stang compliments Legume, is left speechless... "Now if we could just sew Legume's lips to Janor's tongue and Susie's titties, we'd make a million bucks!"

MORE MORE MORE... Susie attempts to get Stang to undress. Refuses... discusses Janor and other Subs who cut their dicks off to prove they're a man...

Stang, Susie, Legume kind of wander, waiting for something more to happen... Stang gripes about his endless chores... Stang exhorts audience to sample the Prairie Squid. The slugs continue to sit there... Legume demonstrates his lip...

SUSIE THE SQUID-FUCKER

Jesus opens the Sacred Cooler. displays Squid. *** Legume finger-fucks the squid to extreme Millerian fx. Jesus and Susie prepare for The Act...
CU Squid... "It's not dead, just tired"... Susie BARES BREASTS, GETS SQUID.... collapses against Bill; Stang: "This exploits women!!!" -- Susie goes NUTS with squid, SMELLS like squid, demands MORE!

Pastor Craig comes onstage, takes the squid UPON HIS BALD PATE!!! (Disgusting CU shots of dead octopus on Craig's face.) Horny with a squid,... he demands even more. Craig AGAIN gets squid on face...

Pastor Craig shall henceforth be known as SquidfaceMan.

Rev. Stang comes onstage to demonstrate squid-fucking... then backs down in disgust, discovering that it is DEAD. Some apparently cannot tell the dif between a dead fuckin' octopus and a live Prairie Squid.

LEGUME takes mike, he and Stang grossly rant re the smell of a woman. Susie begs for a lemon. Bobbies attempt to help clean off Susie's chest.

Legume challenges the Bobbies to get off their fucking asses and preach. Stang and Susie and Bill thank everyone for being there, ask why the hell nobody else is up there on stage. $20 smellovision video of the squidfuck sells two copies immediately. NOW we start selling tape... Susie's tits are worth more than all the ranting in the world, that's what it all comes down to.

Stang, Susie, Bill Miller spew and suggest slugs in audience to DO something... of course they remain anonymous... Bill reminds them of 7 am ceremony...

Bill suggests that those remaining now, will make it at 7 am... (he turns out to be way wrong)

Rev. Matt shyly mentions his upcoming lecture re: the mathematics of where "Bob"'s pipe is pointing (which is indeed a fucking amazing lecture, a whole new level of Dobbsology)...

((Stang is secretly now STEWING on how no one has proffered him a fropstick, cup of coffeee, ANY BREAK AT ALL from his post at the cameras and recorders...))

STEVE SLACK'S ONE SONG
"I've got a toilet full of sin, I'm gonna throw you in, I wanna scrub you underneath the rim. Satan is my Tidy Bowl Man...He wipes with a Bible when he takes a dump... I wanna pull you out my anus/ because you're an ignoramus..."
Really good song! ... very good recording on video. Sick as 14 motherfuckers.

Bill and Stang discuss the hard core folks who remain...