XDAY EUROPE REPORT

Dear Yeti,

XDAY Europe was such a success (except for not being RUPTURED) that I have decided to have an even BIGGER and BETTER XDAY EUROPE next year. July 5th, 2000 is going to be the day and XDAY EUROPE 2000 is going to be the party to set the standard for the next 1000 years.

I would like to thank all of the SubGenius here in Europe that made the long trek here to Dobbsburg (Kiel) in the Scientology free republic of Germany. In particular I would like to thank the Klingons, Rev. Wanke and Rev. Nancy from Berlin, for there dimension shattering performance and CD's and thanks to the Rev. Carl for his Mind Bendlightening Rant tm. The holy wietzen beer and pretzel communion was a success and I'll post some pictures as soon as they are developed. Sadly to say we were so drunken we DID NOT BURN THE EFFIGY OF CHER, THE HARLOT THAT SYMBOLIZES ALL THAT IS CHEEP, MANUFACTURTED IN A CORPORATE BOARD ROOM AND SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT but in retrospect she isn't worthy of burning is she? Also we were unable to do Bobtisms in the Kiel fiord because pink conspirators flooded the fiord with jellyfish the week of Xday and we were not able to get into the water. I would like to add however that these PINK JELLYFISH are almost as good to love on as a prairie squid, once you've ripped the stinging tentacles off.

The last BBQ on Sunday was like a Roman feast. The chili marinated BBQed turkey thighs were a hit as well as the curry rice salad. Next years fare will be a bit more extravagant I assure you. Hopefully we'll have some pit cooked BBQed human on the menu. Even after all was said and done we still had food left over and 7 kegs of beer and we'll have to drink until it's gone. Some of this beer I am drinking at this moment.

By the way SubGenius Short Duration Mass Wedding Announcements--- Rev.Wanke and Rev. Nancy where happily married on July 4th, 1999 for the duration of one hour and the Pope Black and a HUMAN named Nicole where married for the duration of 2 days. Copulation took place on the cafe table in front of god,
jelly fish and everybody else at the cafe.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend and invitation to anyone who would like to become a member of the European SubGenius Confederation. THIS COST NOTHING! All you have to do is be a member of the Church of the SubGenius, be NON HUMAN and in good standing in the eyes of BOB. To join or sign up a friend or loved one send me an email, will your EMAIL ADDRESS and I will automatically make you a member. This is IMPORTANT for all of those who are living in Europe and want to know what events are going on in the Church of the SubGenius in Europe. For example there is talk of a devival in Berlin and it will be EASIER (another word for slack) if you or your loved ones are members. SO SIGN UP NOW!

Peace!