----------------------------------------------------------------------From: phloighd@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, 08 Jul 1999 03:26:36 GMT
Myth: Since the hierarchy insisted on doing very little, what few
events there were appeared slipshod and thrown together at the last
minute.
Fact: Praise fuckin' P-Lil. She ran a tight ship, and although she
confessed to being pretty damn stressed out, she knew exactly when to
quit her job and slack off and let things ride.
Myth: Mark Hosler of Negativland was nowhere to be found.
Fact: At exactly 7:00 AM in every household in Decatur, IL, every O in
every box of Cheerio's became a small black X.
Myth: The presence of too many pagans annoyed most Subs to no end.
Fact: Most Subs actually liked the pagans a lot, finding them quite
delicious with only just a pat of butter.
Myth: Or Kill Me 90.5 FM has something against New Jersey.
Fact: They are actually huge fans of Bon Jovi and Springsteen, and are
well known around the Stone Pony from which they've simulcast many of
Bruce's shows.
Myth: The mighty Locnar was in dire physical danger when Stang told him
off after being pestered one time too many about The Film Project.
Fact: Locnar's entire presence at XX-Day was a performance piece
designed to annoy as many people as possible, specifically regarding
The Film Project. He and Stang collaborated on a parable designed to
teach the importance of Works over Faith, a message all yeti would be
wise to heed. Hail Locnar!
Myth: Operational Indiscretion, the plan to run every Subgenius for
political office, has been brutally suppressed by church hierarchy.
Fact: The movement grows by leaps and bounds, with plans forming to run
at least nine Subs nationwide for offices ranging from city council to
one-world emperor.
Myth: XX-Day sucked.
Fact: Fuck you. Best ever.
Phloighd
All about love, baby.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
I'd say that based on the attendance at XX-Day, and the fact that we can hopefully expect to see about the same numbers each year, we've
more-or-less discovered that five days is about the most we can spend taking part in an event like this.
Be that as it may, I'll add my applause to yours -- namely, XX-Day was a BLAST and PRAISE P-LIL!
--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)
Date: Wed, 07 Jul 1999 18:05:41 -0500
Myth: Papa Joe's "punishment" was all tightly scripted with nothing left to chance.
Fact: Papa Joe's "punishment" was a complete surprise to him and about 96% of the spectators - and YET he still kept on wisecracking!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: phloighd@my-deja.com
It must be pointed out that I and others did locate an envelope while Jesus was gone (which was most likely the real McCoy, requiring him to fake another) that clearly read "Burn Him."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)
Aha! But notice that the 'H' in Him is capitalized - as in burn Him, Jesus! Jesus was covering His OWN ass by losing the punishment!
He is the Lightning Savior!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: phloighd@my-deja.com
Cover his own ass? Why would he? The man is the son of JHVH-1 -- and
what better way to prove his divinity than self-immolation? Now that's
what I want to see on XXX-day, is more burning bodies. Besides, healed
scar tissue from flames beats any ol' wuss stigmata any day.
Phloighd
All about love, baby.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Locnar@IgLou.com (Governor Rocknar)
Actually, that was a sealed envelope that stated.
"Burn McCoy"
because of DeForrest Kelley dying on the world we left behind, we had to
burn the cardboard cutout of McCoy to give him a funeral pyre worthy of
Anakin Skywalker in "Return of the Jedi"
Gov. Rocknar
--
Randolph S. Vance
Locnar@Iglou.com (Macintosh Eudora Mail)
QUOTE - "I'll watch some TV, it'll help me to RELAX!" - Ren Hoek
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
In article <7m1rc0$gue@news-central.tiac.net>, Modemac
<modemac@modemac.com> wrote:
> Be that as it may, I'll add my applause to yours -- namely, XX-Day was a
> BLAST and PRAISE P-LIL!
I had to hunt down Phloighd's post as it never showed up on
SexzillaNet, but I agreed with most of it, with a slight qualification.
I wasn't that stressed out most of the time--in fact, I rather enjoyed
working stage, and plan on doing so again next year. Oh, believe me, I
did have my moments when I was less than happy. For instance, making a
grand appearance at the Prom only to have the sound guy hunt me down
and demand a *schedule* right there on the spot. I wound up missing all
of Onan's singing and most of the dancing. No, I wasn't terribly
pleased at all. But to be crowned King And Queen Of The Prom the moment
I got back with the sound guy's schedule... well, that made up for a
lot. I really was touched....
Speaking of praise, we ALL should bow down and glory in the presence of
Modemac. While I was taking care of the behind-the-scenes details of
running stage, Modemac bravely and successfully braved the audience
itself and kept the stage activity flowing! His patter brought many
laughs and cheers from the crowd, and his demeanor put every ranter and
band at ease. Without him, XX-Day would've been a somewhat lesser
thing. You have Modemac to thank. Get to it!
ALL HAIL MODEMAC, the James Brown of the Church! Long May He Pace!!!
The Prophet Lilith
--
======== Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil =========
== Seattle SubGenii! We are the future! http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com ==
==== In ecstasy I mock the world - Emperor, "Ye Entrancemperium" ====
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Locnar@IgLou.com (Governor Rocknar)
In article <7m3rk6$vj2$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, phloighd@my-deja.com wrote:
>
> Cover his own ass? Why would he? The man is the son of JHVH-1 -- and
> what better way to prove his divinity than self-immolation? Now that's
> what I want to see on XXX-day, is more burning bodies. Besides, healed
> scar tissue from flames beats any ol' wuss stigmata any day.
>
I burned my Yeti body ENOUGH during THIS XX-Day. My skin's peelin' so bad,
I got enough to make me my own lampshade! I won't need to go to a "plastic
surgeon" after all the layers peelin from my nose.
NEXT year, I'm setting up MY tent right next to "Or Kill Me" radio's tent,
so I can help DJ again. I also plan to AVOID THE SUN LIKE A VAMPIRE, only
come out at night, enjoy moonlit swims in the pool, feast on the blood of
helpless pinks in the neighboring towns...
Er...um....
Scratch that part about the moonlit swims. You never know when someone
like Papa Joe Mama would add a vial of "Conspiracy Holy Water" to the
pool/hot tub.
Gov. Rocknar
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)
In article <Locnar-0907991530500001@lex-ts3-14.iglou.com>, Locnar@IgLou.com
(Governor Rocknar) wrote:
> Scratch that part about the moonlit swims. You never know when someone
> like Papa Joe Mama would add a vial of "Conspiracy Holy Water" to the
> pool/hot tub.
Awww, leave ol' Papa Joe alone before you hurt his FEELINGS.
--
*** SLAK WARS - EPISODE 1:THE SUBGENIUS MENACE ***
The most controversial SubGenius Devival EVER!
Visit http://www.fridayjones.com for details
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: phloighd@my-deja.com
Oops, forgot one:
Myth: When the saucers didn't arrive, the assembled Subs began
chanting "The Third Time's The Charm."
Fact: Some distraught Sub threw a handful of feces which struck me
above the waist and splattered, whereupon I began screaming "The turd's
on my arm!" and everyone else joined in.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Governor Rocknar wrote:
>
>
> And actually, though I didn't intend it, I guess the film project IS a
> lesson about the importance of Works over Faith. To make something that
> will last far beyond when we are gone, that the stories that people will
> tell of our exploits aren't just myths.
>
> To prove to the World that WE DID EXIST.
>
Well Stang's videos and the videos of the other worthy video people
aren't exactly chopped liver, you know. Damon W Smith has PLENTY of
evidence that we not only exist but we also leer, lie, dance, fight,
rant, stay up all night, etc. He was always around, very quiet, kind of
like Jane Goodall, and before long it was like on that MTV show Real
Life, where everyone stops being polite and starts getting real. I say,
the XXDay video will BE a movie, it'll just be the Frenchy, art-fag,
documentary kind of movie instead of the glitzy, special-effects,
toy-inspired Hollywood kind.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pkitty@IntNet.net ()
Geoffrey V. Bronner (geoff.bronner@dartmouth.edu) wrote:
: In article <friday-ya02408000R0707991805410001@news.tiac.net>,
: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones) wrote:
: >
: >Myth: Papa Joe's "punishment" was all tightly scripted with nothing left
: >to chance.
: >Fact: Papa Joe's "punishment" was a complete surprise to him and about 96%
: >of the spectators - and YET he still kept on wisecracking!
: >
: Well I guess we would have to give him points for that... a lesser man
: would have tried to run away.
Hey, you weren't one of the ones holding the Big Red Straps keeping him
there! Our unassuming Papa Joe can put up one HELL of a struggle...
Rev. Pee Kitty
.sigless
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)
And many thanks for your help, Pee Kitty! I knew I could count on you when
everyone else would think that I was going TOO FAR ...
But if you look closely at the still and video, you'll see that those were
really big PINK straps. Apropriate - and useful. If Papa Joe had broken
free and bolted forward, he would have gone face-first into the bonfire.
Now I don't know about you, but I think that Papa Joe is more of a
slow-roast, maybe a marinade cut, NOT a quick charbroil or Cajun-style
meat.
$lack,
Friday
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Michael Marcus <marcusm@teleweb.net>
> Now I don't know about you, but I think that Papa Joe is more of a
> slow-roast, maybe a marinade cut, NOT a quick charbroil or Cajun-style
> meat.
Given his Holocaustal tastes, his skin's for lampshades. You flay that
off, and the muscle's right for roasting. Many good uses for the bones
and internal organs, too. Think of Papa Joe Mama as the Native Americans
used the buffalo. Until he's paid his $30, that's all I'll do.
Bon appetit!
--Jacques Treatment,
free at last!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)
I bet if I stretched his scalp out enough, maybe trimmed the edges with his
pubic hair, I could make a DANDY toilet seat cover.
That Papa Joe sure does have nice hair. I jest loved running my fingers
and my blade through it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Dkr. Armand Geddyn <armandgeddyn@yahoo.com>
Xref: spln alt.slack:166143
Myth: Everyone else drank all the Ministry's and the Bikers's liquor.
Fact: Jesus was on hand to miracle up plenty of booze as the Wedding of
Brushwood went on -- we even ended up with a few spare bottles for our
trouble!
Myth: Everyone will get to score with the MiniTru girls on XXX-Day.
Fact: Only MiniTru members will score with MiniTru girls.
Dkr. Armand Geddyn
http://www.minitru.org
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Christopher Lee <clbundy.pp@mail.indy.net>
Eh? Maybe we can get some sort of cooperative joint venture going,
seeing as you're now a member of the Church of Homer Simpson,
Boddhisattva.
Dr. Christopher Li