THE END IS NIGH-ish

From: geoff.bronner@dartmouth.edu (Geoffrey V. Bronner)

Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999

In article <37540685.EEE131C5@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.org wrote:
>
>The complete listing of signs of the End Times:
>
>1) Gas prices go up at least 17 cents per gallon.

Check. Of course, we still pay less than half what it costs in most countries.

>2) High-quality kitty litter becomes largely unavailable
> for a period of several weeks.

Hmmm, that hasn't happened recently. Or I'm not buying 'high-quality' kitty
litter after all.

>3) A volcano erupts somewhere.
>
>4) An ineffectual and incompetant political figure dies.

That never happens.

>5) Losers and twits strive to replace him. Almost all of
> them fail to win his seat.
>
>6) A major Pro athletic union goes on strike resulting
> in the cancellation of THE ENTIRE SEASON.

I was REALLY hoping that the NBA would just take a year off and wither
away. "Bob" must have helped them end the strike to protect some business
deal.

>7) There are hurricanes during hurricane season.

check

>8) The summer is unpleasantly hot and the winter is
> unpleasantly cold.

check

>9) Deserts remain largely bereft of water. Oceans retain
> their salinity.

check

>10) The major economies experience fluctuations.

check

>11) Many people die in accidents.

...and the survivors sue everyone in a six mile radius.

>12) Taxes are raised.

Oh yea, we got that covered in New Hampshire this year. Yeesh.

-G
--
<http://www.dartmouth.edu/~geoffb/>

The Third Millennium does not begin until January 1, 2001.

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From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)

I suppose it entirely inevitable that I would read this as

THE END IS NHGH-ish

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