From: friday jones <friday@subgenius.com> From: friday jones <friday@subgenius.com>
art by Sterno
In article <friday-ya02408000R0703982120220001@news.tiac.net>, friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
>In article <350fa312.4679891@news.en.com>, unit4@sputum.com wrote:
>>Are all the saucer seats full?
>>ARE THEY?
>Are they half full or half empty? If they're full NOW, what/who are they FULL OF, and will it/they GIVE UP their seats for us?
Of course they're full--they carry our replacement doppelgangers, who'll all get jobs in the newly formed US Department of Rape, Cruelty, and Explosives, with nuLegume as the Secretary of the Department. nuStang will model for the training dummies, nuSterno and nuGordon will head up the outsourcing for the shock troops, while nuFriday and nuLilith will determine what parts of the "serviced" will be sold on the organ black market. nuMegaLiz will fry them up, and nuLurch will eat them up. nuJanor will perform the obligatory screams for "help" on behalf of the traumatized "serviced". Meanwhile nuFloozie will be in charge of Quality Control, making sure the "serviced" are properly and thoroughly "serviced". And so forth. The plan is to siphon off and, in time, dominate the federal and state budgets, including the non-itemized stuff the CIA and NSA and Pentagon currently spend. Well before Omicron Epsilon the nuChurch will be spending up to six times the GNP to keep the Department at full capacity, and by the time Omicron Epsilon is here we'll be ready to re-spore the planet with a species just as capable of feeling pain and suffering, at which point we can demand a new contract with the Elder Gods, on our terms, JUST IN TIME TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE FROM TIME INTERCEPTIONAL FUCKUPS. There won't be any humans left to remember us, but if there were they'd be grateful all the same.
P-Lil
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