art by NENSLO
From: dravants@aol.com (DR AVANTS)
call me a pink boy....but what is really gonna happen on Xday 98?....i still havent sent in my 30 bucks and Ive owned that damn subgenius book since 1987....and now im getting a little scared ....it was 20 dollars to join back then...what the hell happened?....what is going to happen?.....anybody?
Deaner
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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Organization: PARTS
On X-Day you will scream, and scream, and scream, and scream, and scream.
You will scream because you will see the SubGenii caught up unto the
saucers, where they shall revel together and apart, in eternal Slack. And
you will know that if you had only sent in that $30, you could have your
own saucer and escape this doomed Earth!
(Please disregard above if you send in your ManyMembership Fee before X-Day).
- Friday
--
* T * H * E * X * D * A * Y * F * I * L * E * S *
Final, Final SubGenius Devival & Armageddon Party
April 23rd, 1998 - Middle East Restaurant, Cambridge MA
Stang/Legume/Meyer/B T M KOS/Bro.Duncan/Rev.DK Jones/MORE!
9:30 PM - 1:30 AM, Door Opens at 9, 18+, $10 admission
http://www.tiac.net/users/fjones/xdayfiles.html
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From: lurch@llamapie.com (Yarky Craploaf)
dravants@aol.com (DR AVANTS) wrote:
>call me a pink boy....but what is really gonna happen on Xday 98?....i still
>havent sent in my 30 bucks and Ive owned that damn subgenius book since
>1987....and now im getting a little scared ....it was 20 dollars to join back
>then...what the hell happened?....what is going to happen?.....anybody?
>
>Deaner
buncha assholes stagger up to a cowflop-scented, pagan-owned and
operated tools-and-cunts-hanging-out-optional farm, set up tents and
eat everything that is salty and comes in a brightly colored bag,
listen to putrid, tiresome rants and really bad music, shoot the shit
around campfires and get some sort of wicca-whammy put on them because
the wood for fires was usually boosted (despite posted warnings) offa
some pagan-only pile, fart, gripe about everything, drink, do drugs,
eat, guzzle hundreds of gallons of coffee, get nauseated by nekkid
co-ed guacamole wrestling (the sight of which would be enough to send
male porn stars scurrying off to join a monastery), and generally blow
a lotta gas money and kill a lotta time just to find out what sort of
lame excuse Stang will come up with, and whether or not the whole mess
is gonna be dissolved or will muddle on indefinitely with a new
doomsday date.
So, by ALL means, send in yer dough.
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From: virtualole@aol.com (VirtualOle)
MARS NEEDS LAWYERS! is an End Times adventure. You'll want to read it.
-------------------------------
Excerpt from MARS NEEDS LAWYERS! is now at Ole/world:
http://member.aol.com/VirtualOle/world.html
Go there. it's fun, damn you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Dr.Legume" <legume@subgenius.com>
Yarky Craploaf wrote:
>
>
> buncha assholes stagger up to a cowflop-scented, pagan-owned and
> operated tools-and-cunts-hanging-out-optional farm, set up tents and
> eat everything that is salty and comes in a brightly colored bag,
> listen to putrid, tiresome rants and really bad music, shoot the shit
> around campfires and get some sort of wicca-whammy put on them because
> the wood for fires was usually boosted (despite posted warnings) offa
> some pagan-only pile, fart, gripe about everything, drink, do drugs,
> eat, guzzle hundreds of gallons of coffee, get nauseated by nekkid
> co-ed guacamole wrestling (the sight of which would be enough to send
> male porn stars scurrying off to join a monastery), and generally blow
> a lotta gas money and kill a lotta time just to find out what sort of
> lame excuse Stang will come up with, and whether or not the whole mess
> is gonna be dissolved or will muddle on indefinitely with a new
> doomsday date.
>
> So, by ALL means, send in yer dough.
PRAISE "BOB"!!!!
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)
Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html
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From: geoffrey.v.bronner@NOSPAM.dartmouth.edu (Geoffrey V. Bronner)
In article <351a5f04.602480535@news.mindspring.com>, bLEEEARRRGhghg wrote:
>
>... and generally blow
>a lotta gas money and kill a lotta time just to find out what sort of
>lame excuse Stang will come up with, and whether or not the whole mess
>is gonna be dissolved or will muddle on indefinitely with a new
>doomsday date.
>
Hopefully it will be more original than: "My predictions... can be
considered nonsense."
Of course, we already knew that was a possibility.
-Geoff
--
Remove "NOSPAM." from e-mail address to reply.
Internet Systems Developer / Administrator
<http://www.dartmouth.edu/~geoffb/>
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From: axel@verinet.com
In article <351a5f04.602480535@news.mindspring.com>,
bLEEEARRRGhghg wrote:
>
> buncha assholes stagger up to a cowflop-scented,....
>
And that's the fun part!
> So, by ALL means, send in yer dough.
>
Yeah well, I guess the marketing could use a little polish,
but READ BETWEEN THE LINES
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From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
There IS no between-the-lines. That's exactly what happens. It doesn't
explain why people keep going year after year, but it IS the
unvarnished truth.
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "A. R. \"Bob\" Duncan" <iwacs@hotmail.com>
man, I just got my shit membership pack for my 30 fucking dollars (35.50
actually, I ordered some extra stickers and a dobbshead), and what did I
get? buncha shit, thats what, ok, I have my excuse now, but I thought I
was supposed to get a wallet sized membership card, some seven-bladed
windbreaker , all kinds o' fly sheeut, hell no, that fucked up book
lied, I don't mind the other lies, but I fucking paid for this lump of
bullshit. all that shit I'm supposed to get, the best thing I got
(except the excuse, and a certificate as long as my damned arm was this
faggy little pin, whoopdee fuckin shit, I actually went and got a
shit-fucked slackless job to get the money before x-day, and that's what
I fucking get, a shit pin
so, all in all, I must say, yes, send in your money, you rat jap bastard
salvation isnt free, but that's about all you'll get for your money
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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
In article <351C7C82.7D0F@hotmail.com>, "A. R. \"Bob\" Duncan"
<iwacs@hotmail.com> wrote:
>man, I just got my shit membership pack for my 30 fucking dollars (35.50
>actually, I ordered some extra stickers and a dobbshead), and what did I
>get? buncha shit, thats what, ok, I have my excuse now, but I thought I
>was supposed to get a wallet sized membership card, some seven-bladed
>windbreaker
(snip)
Windbreaker in the membership pack? When was THAT offered? I missed out!
- Friday
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(pic by SAVEBOB)
From: Sketchy Albedo <revjack@radix.net>
Previously, A. R. \"Bob\" Duncan wrote:
:man, I just got my shit membership pack for my 30 fucking dollars (35.50
:actually, I ordered some extra stickers and a dobbshead), and what did I
:get? buncha shit, thats what
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
Shoulda joined the Church of Lurch, that's what!
Dumbshit!
--
_________________
revjack@radix.net
Don't be frightened of cliches
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From: "A. R. \"Bob\" Duncan" <iwacs@hotmail.com>
> Windbreaker in the membership pack? When was THAT offered? I missed out!
>
> - Friday
>
that's what they called it in book of subgenius, not really a
windbreaker (jacket), but a pinwheel, Iguess the closer o x day we get
the less you get with your salvation
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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Sure, I remember it, but I never remember it being in the membership pack -
I always thought you had to buy it separately.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst)
Previously, A. R. \"Bob\" Duncan wrote:
>
>man, I just got my shit membership pack for my 30 fucking dollars (35.50
>actually, I ordered some extra stickers and a dobbshead), and what did I
>get? buncha shit, thats what
Obviously that last marketing memo never really took. That was the one
that warned customers that they would be lucky if they got anything at all
for their money, let alone a BUNCHA SHIT. Mistakes like these cost jobs,
people.
axel heyst
________________Mergers and Acquisitions Dept____________________
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mtown11send@earth11link.net (Michael Townsend)
In article <6fhkic$3m$1@news1.Radix.Net>, Sketchy Albedo
<revjack@radix.net> wrote:
-->Shoulda joined the Church of Lurch, that's what!
-->
--> Dumbshit!
My X-Day prophesy for the Church of Lurch is that at 7 am on July 5, 1998,
all the members of the Church of Lurch are gonna wake up, go out the back
door and pee on a bush.
--
pop's new pipe po box 4722 portland me 04112-4722
remove "11 11" for email r
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From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)
HA! Except for me. I MIGHT just roll over and snore LOUDER for a
minute, scratch my ass and make a kind of sighing noise that sounds
like SNARF. I'm pretty sure.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I would say DUH! when you say that, except that you told me
that's rude. So can I just whisper "duh" instead? Really quietly?
Would that be okay?" -Sparky
* alt.foot.fat-free: where you can experience the thrill of da feet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst)
>My X-Day prophesy for the Church of Lurch is that at 7 am on July 5, 1998,
>all the members of the Church of Lurch are gonna wake up, go out the back
>door and pee on a bush.
Wait just a minute there bucko!! July 5, 1998, is a Sunday. That means no
pee 'til 9:00 AM, at least!
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From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)
mtown11send@earth11link.net (Michael Townsend) wrote:
: In article <351d18c2.883385413@news1.radix.net>, nospamum@radix.net wrote:
:
: --> Except for me. I MIGHT just roll over and snore LOUDER for a
: --> minute, scratch my ass and make a kind of sighing noise that sounds
: --> like SNARF. I'm pretty sure.
:
: So you mean to say you're a member of this Church of Lurch? Nuh-uh, not
: until you send in your $25 bucks missy!
HA! Did I say THAT? In any case, I don't HAVE TO send him twenty-five
dollar-bucks! Theoretically, I have already provided him more than
enough smackers, simoleans, ribbeters and possibly sufficient QUIDS
FOR A PONY! I just DIDN'T CHARGE HIM for the fork or the camels that
one time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I would say DUH! when you say that, except that you told me
that's rude. So can I just whisper "duh" instead? Really quietly?
Would that be okay?" -Sparky
* alt.foot.fat-free: where you can experience the thrill of da feet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Felix The Cat <felixxx@goodnet.com>
I'm going to disband from the SubG and Church of Lurch and
form my own religion called KillersLocalizedUnderCuthulu!
KLUC!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mtown11send@earth11link.net (Michael Townsend)
In article <351efb53.76051681@news1.radix.net>, nospamum@radix.net claims:
--> I don't HAVE TO send him twenty-five
--> dollar-bucks! Theoretically, I have already provided him more than
--> enough smackers, simoleans, ribbeters and possibly sufficient QUIDS
--> FOR A PONY! I just DIDN'T CHARGE HIM for the fork or the camels that
--> one time.
yeah ok sure whatever
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cuthulu <cuthulu@cuthulu.prysm.net>
Felix The Cat <felixxx@goodnet.com> writes:
> I'm going to disband from the SubG and Church of Lurch and
> form my own religion called KillersLocalizedUnderCuthulu!
> KLUC!
Is that for me? What do I do?
--
goodbye to you charlotte pringle's dew
http://www.prysm.net/~cuthulu/
v1.2a r BO 0/0/ FD 0- 0 PatGoD 1 0
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From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Dave Lynch)
I prophesy a plague of tuna fish, and 100 million men will spontaneously
come in their pants, except for the ones what aren't wearing any.
I prophesy that an autographed photo of Chairman Mao will become worth 1002
words.
I prophesy that Usenet won't be worth the paper it's printed on.
I prophesy extremely cheesy special effects.
I prophesy everybody acting like nothing happened.
----------------------------------------------------------
| _ _ | Nasi bianchi come Fruit of the Loom, che |
| | \/ | | diventano piu' rossi di un livello di DOOM |
| | | | Dave Lynch heeft geschreven mit keine "whats" |
| | Mug by Frankie HINRG MC-Quelli Che Ben Pensano |
----------------------------------------------------------
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From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Dave Lynch)
Thus spake A. R. "Bob" Duncan:
>
>so, all in all, I must say, yes, send in your money, you rat jap bastard
>salvation isnt free, but that's about all you'll get for your money
You're right. These SubGenius guys are a bunch of miserly hatemongers.
I'm going to unsubscribe from this group and subscribe to
alt.religion.iskcon instead.
----------------------------------------------------------
| _ _ | Nasi bianchi come Fruit of the Loom, che |
| | \/ | | diventano piu' rossi di un livello di DOOM |
| | | | Dave Lynch heeft geschreven mit keine "whats" |
| | Mug by Frankie HINRG MC-Quelli Che Ben Pensano |
----------------------------------------------------------