fuck x-dayfuck x-dayFrom: carey@humboldt1.com (Rev. Matthew A. Carey)
picture, "80 3-D Squids" by Stang
Date: Mon, 30 Mar 1998 18:51:53 GMT
Organization: Vision Temple PO Box 594 Arcata, CA 95518 USA
Yeah, fuckit.
I'm going to sleep through x-day. There's not going to be any saucers or any crap like that anyhow. It'll just be "Whoo hoo it's x-day, yay" and some bands and freaks etc. Then Stang'll get up on stage and give some lame excuse and the Church of the SubGenius will be disbanded and we'll all go our separate ways.
So, with this advance knowlege, I've decided to just spend the summer
working and saving up money. If any of you are looking for a fake
joke religion to join on July 6, don't call me. If you want to join a
REAL religion that helps you learn how to control your own mind for
the pursuit of freedom and happiness, then DO call me. My phone
number is widely known.
On july 6, 1998 I will officially begin my term as director of the
First Global Church of Mind Technology, a Vision Temple subsidiary.
I will be giving internet, and possibly even live-in-person seminars
on the "four winds of human thought" and the need to understand the
operation these winds within the province of your own mind. My goal
as director of this new religion will be to help as many people as
possible to cross the evolutionary threshhold into the realm of
self-metaprogramming ability.
All members of my new religion should have done or plan to do one or
more of the following things:
1. Read "Prometheus Rising" by Robert Anton Wilson
2. Familiarize yourself with the works of Marcel Duchamp
3. Have a psychedelic or mystical experience
4. List your five greatest fears on a piece of paper and confront one
of them.
5. Cry unconrollably in front of a group of 10 or more strangers.
6. Drink two cups more than your usual morning coffee fix and write
out five legal sized pages of notes on any subject, in longhand.
7. Go to a casino and attempt to control the slot machines with your
mind.
8. You may also want to look into the works of Aleister Crowley,
Timothy Leary, Max Stirner, B.F. Skinner, Carlos Casteneda, Ken Kesey,
Buckminster Fuller, Joseph Chilton Pearce, and John Lilly. (Yeah, no
women. Ain't my fault. It's the oil companies'.)
And if you want to join my new religion early, go to
http://www.humboldt1.com/~carey/
and follow the easy instructions there to join the Vision Temple
mailing list.
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From: mrobinl@aol.com (Mrobinl)
Can't a person just buy a fifth of whiskey and rent a Marx Brothers movie?
A Reformed Pedant
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From: unap23@aol.com (Una P 23)
After doing all this shit, what kind of dipshit would then want to join a
*real* religion???
Rev. juana moore, 1st Church of the Weird Made Flesh
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From: chuckbucket@clamlips.com (RevLurch)
FOOO. Join the Church of Lurch and shoot stuff. I'll pass out Classics
Illustrated if we JUST gotta make pretending to be smart part of our
ha-ha comraderie of smug yet wretched desperation.
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From: wingnut@gn2.getnet.com (Rev. Britton Wingnut)
Add 'blow stuff up' and I'm in.
Rev. Britton Wingnut
-----------------------------------------------------
The mind of Tom Cruise in the body of Stephen Hawking
-----------------------------------------------------
www.getnet.com/~wingnut/britton.html
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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Do the four winds blow out of one's ears or out of some more windy orifice?
Is it a hot air wind? Is it a flammable wind?
Look, if I want to do NLP I'll go do some NLP, not read that fumbling
foofah Wilson.
Good luck on your new mind control cult - anyone willing to DRINK COFFEE
for you should be a good obediant fuck-slave.
Love,
Friday
--
* T * H * E * X * D * A * Y * F * I * L * E * S *
Final, Final SubGenius Devival & Armageddon Party
April 23rd, 1998 - Middle East Restaurant, Cambridge MA
Stang/Legume/Meyer/B T M KOS/Bro.Duncan/Rev.DK Jones/MORE!
9:30 PM - 1:30 AM, Door Opens at 9, 18+, $10 admission
http://www.tiac.net/users/fjones/xdayfiles.html
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From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
I SPEAK THUSLY:
As much as I like Matt, I didn't wait around to form my own mind-control cult.
I founded it back in '89, controlled the only mind that matters--MINE--then
disbanded the fucker. I used to go through a new cult/clench/schism/whafuck
every six months. Then I formed the Church of the Skullfarmer's Daughter as a
front end and simply reorganized when I got tired of things. It's much easier
that way, and you don't have to worry about whether any of your underlings will
stick around.
P.Lil
--
|Reverend Doktor Saint Popess| Fools' Press |
| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |
| Sadomasticist At Large | mitchell@interserv.com |
|Spiting the Gods since 1989!| http://bounce.to/p-lil |
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From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Dave Lynch)
Incidentally, I too am going to found my own cult. Only men will be
allowed to join. Yeah, it's not PC, but we don't HAVE to be PC, we're a
fuckin' CULT! Anyone who is interested in transcendent experience,
enlightenment, and/or chopping off your pecker, keep in touch.
----------------------------------------------------------
| _ _ | Nasi bianchi come Fruit of the Loom, che |
| | \/ | | diventano piu' rossi di un livello di DOOM |
| | | | Dave Lynch heeft geschreven mit keine "whats" |
| | Mug by Frankie HINRG MC-Quelli Che Ben Pensano |
----------------------------------------------------------
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From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Dave Lynch)
Thus spake Popess Lilith von Fraumench:
>As much as I like Matt, I didn't wait around to form my own mind-control cult.
>I founded it back in '89, controlled the only mind that matters--MINE--then
>disbanded the fucker. I used to go through a new cult/clench/schism/whafuck
>every six months. Then I formed the Church of the Skullfarmer's Daughter as a
>front end and simply reorganized when I got tired of things. It's much easier
>that way, and you don't have to worry about whether any of your underlings will
>stick around.
That's like saying that sex isn't worth all the trouble because there's
always masturbation. No, mind control cults are GOOD things. ESPECIALLY
for the leaders.
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From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) (picture also by Stanky)
Hey!! ME TOO!! I wanna found I never THOUGHT of starting my OWN religion. my own cult too! FUCK that Dobbs asshole! I want in on this. It sounds like fun. Uh, "The Crutch of the NubPenis." No... "The Church of "DON""... SHIT, JANOR already got "Don." AND "Lou." "THE TRULY SERIOUS RELIGION OF ACTUAL ENLIGHTENMENT, NOT SILLY JOKES!" YEAH!!! THAT'S IT!
How to START, though. That's where I always got hung up.
My phone number is VERY well known, so... hey, it's only $35. And this time it WON'T have any of that FUNNY stuff.
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
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From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <352374cb.1902217@news.newsguy.com>, twgs@whatsthepoint.net says...
>>
>That's like saying that sex isn't worth all the trouble because there's
>always masturbation. No, mind control cults are GOOD things. ESPECIALLY
>for the leaders.
Masturbation IS sex, you VIRGIN. And if there's a shortage of willing
Yetinsyn--Rev. Boblight's perversions aside--masturbation is a wholly viable
alternative to porking a human.
And you just wait until you get your own goddamn mind-control cult. THEN we'll
see how "good" you think it is, what with all those zombies wheedling and
whining every hour of the day. It's high maintenance, I tell you. Maybe you
have the temperament for that sort of thing, however. In that case, GOOD
FUCKING LUCK.
P.Lil
--
|Reverend Doktor Saint Popess| Fools' Press |
| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |
| Sadomasticist At Large | mitchell@interserv.com |
|Spiting the Gods since 1989!| http://bounce.to/p-lil |
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From: btm@billtmiller.com (KING OF SLACK)
> >Thus spake Popess Lilith von Fraumench:
In that case, GOOD FUCKING LUCK.
yeah FUCKING....isn't that the plan,
fuck ON x-day....
not
fuck x-day
BTM ORGY <http://billtmiller.com/>
E-Mail <btm@billtmiller.com>
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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Fuck WITH X-Day.
Fuck UNDER X-Day.
Fuck ABOVE X-Day.
Penetrate X-Day WITH X-Day and let X-Day FUCK ITSELF!
- Friday
dirty minded old hag
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From: "Dr.Legume" <legume@subgenius.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Hey!! ME TOO!! I wanna found I never THOUGHT of starting my OWN religion.
> my own cult too! FUCK that Dobbs asshole! I want in on this. It sounds like
> fun. Uh, "The Crutch of the NubPenis." No... "The Church of "DON""...
> SHIT, JANOR already got "Don." AND "Lou." "THE TRULY SERIOUS RELIGION OF
> ACTUAL ENLIGHTENMENT, NOT SILLY JOKES!" YEAH!!! THAT'S IT!
Fuck, man, I've been saying for years we oughtta shuck this "Bob" monkey
and start us up a CHRISTIAN church! We already have a Jesus. We could
TWIST the rituals around to whatever weird shit we want. If we started a
Christian church we could REALLY fuck with peoples minds. It would be
easier to get mindless followers, too. Jesus already scares the SHIT
out of lotsa folks. But who's scared of "Bob"? Not me...and not anybody
I know. Fuck that sorry clipart bastard.
The REAL MONEY is on JESUS. He's got MARKETABILITY. Nobody owns the
TRADEMARK. He's got NAME RECOGNITION.
It'd be like opening a fucking BURGER KING.
Just think of the Jesus Head Launchings. All we gotta do is change the
names and we're in BUSINESS.
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)
Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html
The horseman lifteth up both the bright sword and the glittering spear:
and there is a multitude of slain, and a great number of carcases; and
there is none end of their corpses
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From: Felix The Cat <felixxx@goodnet.com>
Don't worry Ivan. We aren't going to crucify you. You will
have some place to sit come x-day. Perhaps on my right hand.
Oh baby! He, he.
This ain' no church of the long knives!
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From: Rev Chuck <cdu.b@erolls.com>
Can't we just hold up thousands of pocket mirrors so the Xist death
rays are reflected back at the Xists? Whole apocalypse should last
about, oh, 5 seconds.
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From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Dave Lynch)
Thus spake Popess Lilith von Fraumench:
>Masturbation IS sex, you VIRGIN. And if there's a shortage of willing
>Yetinsyn--Rev. Boblight's perversions aside--masturbation is a wholly viable
>alternative to porking a human.
Yeah, masturbation works.. FOR A WHILE. Eventually you wind up more
frustrated than you were when you started. Nope, the only solution is just
to whack that thing off with the long knives.
>And you just wait until you get your own goddamn mind-control cult. THEN we'll
>see how "good" you think it is, what with all those zombies wheedling and
>whining every hour of the day. It's high maintenance, I tell you. Maybe you
>have the temperament for that sort of thing, however. In that case, GOOD
>FUCKING LUCK.
Earplugs. In fact, I could use my dismembered dick for that purpose.
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I've got a penis in my ear."
----------------------------------------------------------
| _ _ | Nasi bianchi come Fruit of the Loom, che |
| | \/ | | diventano piu' rossi di un livello di DOOM |
| | | | Dave Lynch heeft geschreven mit keine "whats" |
| | Mug by Frankie HINRG MC-Quelli Che Ben Pensano |
----------------------------------------------------------
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From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
>
> fuck ON x-day....
> not
> fuck x-day
If necessary I'll fuck WITH X-Day!
Use X-Day as the CONDOM by which you shall FUCK THE HUMANS TO *DEATH*.
P.Lil
--
| Reverend Doktor Saint Popess | Fools' Press |
| Lilith von Fraumench, Esquire | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
| Church of the Skullfarmer's | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |
| Daughter In Rapt Communion | mitchell@interserv.com |
| With The Dobbshead, Inc | http://bounce.to/p-lil |
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From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <352293C1.C2F1CD55@goodnet.com>, Felix The Cat
<felixxx@goodnet.com> wrote:
> This ain' no church of the long knives!
Au contraire--on X-Day we shall KNOW, first-hand, how long the kinves truly are!
And we shall wield them in our TEEF.
In 95 days.
P.Lil
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From: mtown11send@earth11link.net (Michael Townsend)
In article <351fbe81.14277935@news.humboldt1.com>, carey@humboldt1.com wrote:
-->If you want to join a
--> REAL religion that helps you learn how to control your own mind for
--> the pursuit of freedom and happiness, then DO call me. My phone
--> number is widely known.
Fuck your religion, and your phone. I just want my SLACK dammit!
--
pap's new crap po box 4722 portland me 04112-4722
remove "11 11" for email u
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From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <353de853.9821194@news.newsguy.com>, twgs@whatsthepoint.net
(Dave Lynch) wrote:
> Yeah, masturbation works.. FOR A WHILE. Eventually you wind up more
> frustrated than you were when you started. Nope, the only solution is just
> to whack that thing off with the long knives.
Frustrated over what, pray tell? That my "pussy score", my "pussy index",
my "pussy-to-hand ratio" isn't high enough to satisfy someone else's
notions about how often I should be scoring? SHIT. That's why I've got the
hand to begin with! It's called OPTING OUT. I get a warm feeling thinking
about all the great sex I've had where I never had to stick
anything--flesh or rubber--into anyone else. Just lots of lube and lots of
squeals! Oink! Oh, and the delights of the TONGUE! Lick my decals off,
indeed! Meanwhile I'll just use this hand, this scorned masturbatory
device, to keep my lady friends preoccupied for a few hours, before I
finally let them come. Multiply.
> Earplugs. In fact, I could use my dismembered dick for that purpose.
>
> "I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I've got a penis in my ear."
You might want to lick the end of it so it'd go in easier.
P.Lil
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