Jetrock fumed:
"I'm more than eager to help, if they'll LET ME IN THEIR GODDAMN OLD-TIMEY
DOKTOR SOCIAL CLUB, if they think they can take the wrath of an END-TIMES
DOKTOR. hell, I've been in this circle-jerk since 1990, you'd think I
could stop thinking of myself as one of the "new kids" after EIGHT YEARS!"
Whilst much of the Church was fretting over Bobbies from below "ruining"
the Church, have we ignored another kind of threat? A threat not of
joiners but of rulers?
Face it JetRock, you and all those other "New-comers" are just not
one of THE COOL KIDS! Our weirdness ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH for the old guard,
mebbe it's too NEW or too SCARY. Mayhaps The OLD CHURCH got CORRUPTED,
somewhere along the line THINGS TURNED SOUR!!! Maybe that old warning in
The Sacred Book 'o' da SubGenius has turned true, and the insider's club
has gone Conspiracy. It's just possible that any NEW RANT from any NEW
PREACHER just won't fit the CRITERION for the old-timers, it will just be
ignored and called "whining" cause SOMEONE UP TOP DON'T LIKE IT. The only
response can be to STEAL AWAY THE RANTER'S SLACK, most often through
7th-grader insults!
Sound familiar? A few individuals, set in their ways, directing
things and scoffing at anything REALLY DIFFERENT that comes along. Instead
of asking, "Will this grant slack?" the question becomes, "Will this grant
money?" Guess who's laughing their asses off, THE FUCKING FALSE PROPHETS!
In trying to smash The Con through the use of Con methods, has the taint
of Normalcy spread to those who would fight it? Is that the only way you
BIG AND POWERFUL old-timers know how to run things? Is it just a little
too INTIMIDATING to maybe THINK DIFFERENTLY, and consider the ideas of the
new SubGenii? "Things might get out of hand, so I'll just INSULT anyone
with a different kind of difference, since it's not what I cam up with."
At least good ol' Stang and Dynasoar and a few others ancients have not
been lost off the path of Slack. At least this only applies to SOME high
up in The Church, and not ALL. The SubGenii once pure got us this far,
those brave souls fighting in Dobbs name. I won't pretend to have come up
with all this on my own, I STAND ASIDE THE BREASTS AND PENII OF THOSE WHO
HAVE COME BEFORE! I salute you, ye true visionaries and weirdos that have
forged ahead with NEW TRADITIONS.
Oh, but what the fuck do I know? I'm just some punk kid who
can't get a fucking date, who the hell is going ot listen to me? I haven't
been granted GOOD PERSON STATUS from those up above so MY IDEAS WILL BE
CAST ION TO THE PIT ALONG WITH THE PINK GARBAGE. Oh no, my ideas sometimes
RUN COUNTER TO OFFICIAL DOCTRINE! "Oh, dearie dearie, we can't have that,
what with all these young mutants making up their own rules! They have to
follow US CUZ WE DA BESTEST OVERMEN AND WE KNOW WHAT'S WHAT. WE WUZ FIRST
SO WE GETS TO BE IN POWER ALL DA TIME."
Whosoever can steal Slack and siphon money from the Yeti-kin, and
at the same time call themselves a true Doktor?
We'll have that West Coast X-Day devival yet, even if it's just a
couple of drunken "outsiders" banging on an old fridge with a 2X4. Funny,
I thought this Church was FOR and BY outsiders. Mebbe The Temple Of Pure
Slack (Dobbsian NorCal local Union #23) and The Church of the Fightin'
Jesus will just have to have OUR OWN disorganization of weirdness.
Remember The Prophecy of Nolan Voyde? How many think it's going to
come true?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*(c) _ /|\ _ *
* [) ( ( Gadfly |\ | /| /^\ 23! *
* |\ () _) _) Visionary \ | / / o \\ *
* <-----+-----> / \ \ *
* "We don't lie to the computer, / | \ / \_/ \ \ *
* sir!!!" |/_ | _\| / \ / *
* -Irate credit card employee \|/ /___________\/ *
* *
* http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~gerbil (The Chaos Gerbil's Lair) *
* Subscribe to my "E-Zine," The Weekly Fnord! E-mail me 'bout it. *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com>
Ross of the Fnords wrote:
>
> Jetrock fumed:
> "I'm more than eager to help, if they'll LET ME IN THEIR GODDAMN OLD-TIMEY
> DOKTOR SOCIAL CLUB, if they think they can take the wrath of an END-TIMES
> DOKTOR. hell, I've been in this circle-jerk since 1990, you'd think I
> could stop thinking of myself as one of the "new kids" after EIGHT YEARS!"
You've been with the church longer than I have, and yet I manage to
occasionally be 'pivot man' at the Hierarchy Circle Jerk. If you haven't
attained hierarchy status after 8 years, it's because you haven't TRIED.
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
A mere vessel for Bill Patty's word.
----------------------------------------------
Life suck? Bill Patty can help!
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/BillPatty.html
---------------------------------------------
Scared of Bill Patty? Then you are obviously a dumbass and deserve
nothing more enlightening than the usual Lame SubGenius Crap.
Visit the Holocaustal Website (which has nothing to do with Bill Patty)
at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html
Also Visit The "Battle of Armageddon" Website (which also has nothing to
do with Bill Patty) at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index-2.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <3565A26A.5D8C@subgenius.com>, legume@subgenius.com says...
>
>You've been with the church longer than I have, and yet I manage to
>occasionally be 'pivot man' at the Hierarchy Circle Jerk. If you haven't
>attained hierarchy status after 8 years, it's because you haven't TRIED.
...Which wouldn't be a bad thing, except that people keep on GIVING A SHIT
whether or not they're one of the Cool Power Muthas.
STOP WHINING YOU SCREECH.
By the way, Jetrock, you're doing fine so far. You got a SubGenius event under
your belt. You're becoming one of the Movers-Und-Shakers. Now, got any plans to
top the antimusic festival? Are you prepared to raise your own stakes, to
gamble with your ambition, to build upon your past achievements? If not, step
down and wave to your fans for the final time. Like Pee Wee Herman.
(Shit, if I were Paul Reubens and got caught whacking my pee-pee while watching
loops, I would've made a goddamn PORN MOVIE, directed by, produced by, and
starring ME. It'd be funny as shit, horny as all get out, good acting, a plot,
and the craziest women I could get to suck dick on cue. Federico Fellini meets
Russ Myers meets the Dark Brothers meets Buster Keaton. And Stang would be MY
BIGGEST FAN. The kids would understand, someday, when they were old enough to
watch the film themselves.)
P.Lil
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: UnitIV@sputum.com (Doktor DynaSoar)
Ross of the Fnords wrote:
} We'll have that West Coast X-Day devival yet, even if it's just a
} couple of drunken "outsiders" banging on an old fridge with a 2X4. Funny,
} I thought this Church was FOR and BY outsiders. Mebbe The Temple Of Pure
} Slack (Dobbsian NorCal local Union #23) and The Church of the Fightin'
} Jesus will just have to have OUR OWN disorganization of weirdness.
Even though I witnessed some of the very first Slack to cross Ispace, until
a couple years ago nobody in the 3space version of the Church knew who I
was. I didn't sign up until Stang logged on the net. If I'm Old Guard or
otherwise Highly Placed, it's because I put myself there. I worked myself
into that position with contributions of labor and material. I became this
thing through effort.
And so it is with all things.
You want to be 'accepted'? Produce acceptable work for the betterment of
the Church and the glory of Dobbs. It helps if Ivan finds it entertaining
and of potential monetary value, as this is the measure of the betterment
of the Church and the glory of Dobbs.
It's either that or have some good stories about your kids in college that
you can swap with Ivan.
--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jetrock@nospam-emrl.com (Jetrock)
ahh, FUCKIT. maybe they'll cough up. My one non-radio phone conversation
with Puzzling Evidence gave me a pretty good impression of him, I guess.
I find that most SubGeniuses I communicate with over the phone come across
sounding like okay joes, no matter what their reputations: Jesus,
ICEKNIFE, Puzzling Evidence, whatever. According to the KPFA show they
are planning *something*, but they are encouraging everyone to go to
Brushwood instead.
My resistance to the whole Brushwood trip thing is that it would cost
around SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS, at LEAST. Yeah, yeah, I know, who cares,
we're all saucer-bound the next day, right, but SHIT, it still GALLS me.
Maybe I've just been stuck in the punkrock do-it-yourself mindset for two
long, but I did a WHOLE ALL-DAY SUBGENIUS DEVIVAL for that much money back
in March, and I ended up making back $400 of it AFTER I PAID THE BANDS!!
It's a BURN to spend that much cash just to GO SOMEPLACE and merely be an
OBSERVER/PARTICIPANT (if I did go, no force could keep me away from the
rant-mic).
And besides, FUCKIT, *SOMEONE* has to stay on the West Coast and ensure
that the vast bulk of Pink Californians get exterminated in proper style!
Sorry Legume, this is one 200-pound, hirsute, head-shaved Holocaustal who
will NOT be waving steel on the blood-soaked battlefields just before
X-Day, smiting pathetic mewling Ivangelicals by your side! I must remain
HERE, seeing that the beautiful land of KALIFORNIA is cleansed of the
pathetic Pink Mass who defile the name of our great State by their
imbecilic monkey-copying of the TRUE ORIGINALITY of the SUBGENIUSES OF
CALIFORNIA, stealing Slack from the true visionaries of this land and
making it into SITCOMS to soothe the masses! I will ROLL OVER every
ROLLERBLADER with BLADES! I will force every JOGGER to try to OUTRUN MY
HAIL OF BULLETS! I will make every booming mini truck BOOM EVEN LOUDER
when my ANTI-TANK MISSILES FLY THROUGH THEIR WINDSHIELDS! Instead of
wasting time fighting for the RIGHT to kill every Pink within weapons
range, I'll actually be OUT DOING IT!
As for banging on fridges, HEY, DON'T FUCKIN' KNOCK IT! I do it a LOT,
though I prefer to use a SKILSAW WITH A GRINDING DISC instead of a 2x4,
since 2x4s don't produce 20-FOOT SHOWERS OF BLINDING SPARKS, and I like to
fill the fridge with STAGE BLOOD and PIG HEARTS beforehand, so they join
the sparks in a GRUESOME CASCADE OF FOULNESS upon the audience.
But yeah, Ross, you've got my number, let's hook up for X-Day and PARTY.
As to the old-school Doktors: hell, they're okay. Though the natural
SCHIZMING urge of a SubGenius makes me occasionally HATE THEM anyhow, even
as I ADMIRE their mighty rants and ENVY that they got into the Church
before I did. Heck, it took me YEARS: I remember reading the "Stop Dobbs"
flyer in an old issue of RIP OFF COMICS in like 1983, and I didn't get
around to joining the Church for SEVEN YEARS. How different things might
have been if I had met "Bob" even earlier!!
And hell, if P.E. will tell me where his party IS, fuckit, I'll go WHOOP
IT UP with the west-coast X-Day tribe and piss them off with my
DONGWHANGIN' END-TIMES-DOKTOR SCHTICK. And I'll see all you surviving
BRUSHWOODERS when the Saucers hit CALIFORN-I-A...
--
-----Rev. JETROCK, cyber-messianic noiseman and ANGRY MONKEY
SubGenius Code: hyb^R0(F&V13013#&*)Q#G^HVE$H*QXIST&)H#HEIEI*Y#&*BEIEIEIEIjH&H7
t#QU&m'MUH!!@^TT)&^%JHVH-1&@R(FU#HB$&*)T"BOB"G$#G*(&Y(_*Y*_(YH*(#SLACKNTH&$#&%
QQ{{U*(#U*7/5/98-7:00AM&*(Y*(7669682876**G'BROAGFRAN((*@*(u893y877)&_&*#_Y*H%R
*&#Y)*37Y&&BY#h&^@""o98i34jt4nunj8u90NUNU!dbvPOB140306DALLASTX75214n"BOB"!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jetrock@nospam-emrl.com (Jetrock)
DrLegume (legume@subgenius.com) gibbered unto the multitudes thusly:
: You've been with the church longer than I have, and yet I manage to
: occasionally be 'pivot man' at the Hierarchy Circle Jerk. If you haven't
: attained hierarchy status after 8 years, it's because you haven't TRIED.
True enough. All I have is years of radio experience and a one-shot
SubZine back in 1991 to my credit, plus the DEVIVAL. I've been too busy
PARTYING and RAISING HELL and SLACKING OFF. Instead of pursuing power
I've been GETTING SLACK anonymously, so I guess I have no need to
complain, I'm usually having too much FUN. But sometimes the HATE-POWER
just spews out of me, DAMMIT! AH JEST WANNA BE EYEBALL-DEEP IN THE BLOOD
OF MINE ENEMIES SOMETIMES, BWAH!! Sometimes AH JUST GET THE URGE TO BEAT
SOME PIGFUCKER TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN GRANDMA as me BLUDGEON! Or maybe
force-feed RABID WEASELS to some pigfucker JUST BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE A
GOOD IDEA....
uh
sorry. anyhow.
I seek not "hierarchy status". I have ANARCHY STATUS.
--
-----Rev. JETROCK, cyber-messianic noiseman and ANGRY MONKEY
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jetrock@nospam-emrl.com (Jetrock)
Popess Lilith von Fraumench (mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com) gibbered unto the multitudes thusly:
: By the way, Jetrock, you're doing fine so far. You got a SubGenius event under
: your belt. You're becoming one of the Movers-Und-Shakers. Now, got any plans to
: top the antimusic festival? Are you prepared to raise your own stakes, to
: gamble with your ambition, to build upon your past achievements? If not, step
: down and wave to your fans for the final time. Like Pee Wee Herman.
I like to think I've got more than THAT under my belt! heh.
In terms of topping the SLACKFEST I, well, let's just say that if, for
whatever reason, I FAIL TO LEAVE THIS PLANET on July 5 of this year, I
will CONTINUE to put on events of its ilk.
Hell, the SLACKFEST wasn't my first show, just my first particularly
SUBGENIUS show. I've been doing this stage-manager/MC/promoter gig for a
LONG DAMN TIME, occasionally slipping in "Bob" when I could, like when I
used to preach the word of Dobbs to Rocky Horror crowds in Arcata before
the show. And since very few bands and promoters have the fortitude to
deal with my band UBERKUNST, I usually have to PUT TOGETHER SHOWS FROM
SCRATCH if I want to play AT ALL.
And heck, I *have* been getting a LOT of positive feedback from people who
went to the SLACKFEST, running into folks on the street, "Hey, weren't you
the guy raining VERBAL PISS AND FIRE on us at the Guild Theater? When's
the NEXT ONE?" My stock answer is, "Well, WATCH THE SKIES, for if this
planet by chance ISN'T a smoking exterminated cinder come July 5, I WILL
KEEP PUTTING ON SHOWS until we have REMEDIED THE SITUATION!"
--
-----Rev. JETROCK
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (G. G. Gordon)
On Sat, 23 May 1998 21:08:19 GMT, UnitIV@sputum.com (Doktor DynaSoar)
wrote:
>
>You want to be 'accepted'? Produce acceptable work for the betterment of
>the Church and the glory of Dobbs. It helps if Ivan finds it entertaining
>and of potential monetary value, as this is the measure of the betterment
>of the Church and the glory of Dobbs.
>
>It's either that or have some good stories about your kids in college that
>you can swap with Ivan.
>
Yeah Jetrock, quit whining and put out for Dobbs...Bob wants you to
give it up!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <3565A26A.5D8C@subgenius.com>, legume@subgenius.com wrote:
>
> You've been with the church longer than I have, and yet I manage to
> occasionally be 'pivot man' at the Hierarchy Circle Jerk. If you haven't
> attained hierarchy status after 8 years, it's because you haven't TRIED.
> --
Aw, the babies just want everything handed to them on a silver platter.
I'll admit that we up here on Mount Olympus do occasionally take a TEENY
little extra notice of the mortals who, MONTH AFTER MONTH, churn out
INCREDIBLY GOOD WORK -- art, live rants, text rants, having ideas, setting
up shows, and USEFUL ones, not WHINY JACK-OFFS -- than we do the ones that
sort of piddle and weeny-whine. (And who also usually have AWFUL PERSONAL
HYGEINE!)
Also, I'm sure it's obvious by now that we pay NO attention to anybody who
isn't EXTREMELY WEALTHY ALREADY. Like Dr. Legume here. The MAIN problem is
that most of you "little people" are SIMPLY TOO POOR.
SORRY. If you don't like it, my Escape Vessell will meet your Escape Vessel
at what would have been high noon on what would have been July 6!
KIDS! Whaddya gonna do.
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <356652f5.0@calwebnnrp>, jetrock@nospam-emrl.com (Jetrock) wrote:
> in March, and I ended up making back $400 of it AFTER I PAID THE BANDS!!
> It's a BURN to spend that much cash just to GO SOMEPLACE and merely be an
> OBSERVER/PARTICIPANT (if I did go, no force could keep me away from the
> rant-mic).
The bands got paid! That's GOOD.
This was touted as "a SubGenius devival." This was ADVERTISED as a... now
what's that word again... "SubGenius" devival.
Did DOBBS get paid? Did THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION get paid? Even a PENNY? Oh
NO. What the HELL do THEY have to do with a "SUBGENIUS DEVIVAL"??
And THIS POOR FELLOW talks about feeling BURNED.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: NENSLO <n@n.slo>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> KIDS! Whaddya gonna do.
>
Don't I know it! Hey listen everybody, it took NENSLO over ten years
and HUNDREDS of dollars to get Stang to stop calling me one of the
kids. Then when he realized how often he was INADVERTENTLY QUOTING ME
every time he opened his mouth he started treating me better. The trick
is to BE SMARTER AND BETTER than him. Or just get old, either way.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: e/wbear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear)
In article <i.stang-ya02408000R2305982115200001@enews.newsguy.com>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
> And THIS POOR FELLOW talks about feeling BURNED.
>
Sigh... I remember the good old days (pinch me mother) when we actually
hitchhiked to these kind of events. Freaks in vans would pick us up, even
change their own travel plans to get us where we were going. Hell..we even
got laid in the back sometimes and there was always plenty of frop.
Nowadays you put your thumb out and someone shoots it off.
---
ewb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <3567A6AF.86F@n.slo>, NENSLO <n@n.slo> wrote:
> >
> Don't I know it! Hey listen everybody, it took NENSLO over ten years
> and HUNDREDS of dollars to get Stang to stop calling me one of the
> kids. Then when he realized how often he was INADVERTENTLY QUOTING ME
> every time he opened his mouth he started treating me better. The trick
> is to BE SMARTER AND BETTER than him. Or just get old, either way.
Well, and here's another thing. "OLD HIERARCHY," all closed off to the
wheeny whiney newbies, right? Well take a look at that fucking INWO SubGame
we just finished. Half of it's by me, because I was the only one I felt
comfortable paying SO LITTLE to, and Kid Nenslo, because he ACTUALLY ASKED
TO DO SOME CARDS when he heard about it. And because he happens to be one
of the SubGenii who can ILLUSTRATE rather than just EXPERIMENT. And because
of PURE SHEER "NEPOTISM", PRAISE "FUCKING "BOB"!!
Anyway, the OTHER half of this full color illustrated SubGenius project is
by TOTAL "OLD SUBGENIUS MAIL-WORLD" UNKNOWNS that I NEVER MET, don't even
know for sure if they're MAN or WOMAN, and who weren't ever particularly
big CUSTOMERS! -- Fernandinande Le Mur, Poindexter, Atom Funway, The
Prophet Jim, etc.. I only know these characters only through their WORK
which I started seeing on the Net when I got online, what 3 years ago? 4?
And everybody ELSE who posted to alt.binaries.slack got considered TOO. So
DON'T GIVE ME THIS SHIT!!! ABOUT ANY OF THAT SHIT!!!
"Nolan's Prophecy." You dumb-asses -- THAT shit all came true back in 1984!
We made DAMN SURE of THAT! We even SAID so, and SOLD YOU VIDEOTAPES of it!
DUH!!!
BOY HOWDY, do we have some MASTER DETECTIVES here!
"LO, MY PEOPLE ARE DESTROYED FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE!"
Actually there are also a few pics out of the 100 by other old pals of
mine, just because they were BETTER than anybody else's, and because "BILL"
PATTY said NOT to.
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang
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