I LAFFED AND LAFFED UNTIL I WAS LITERALLY CRYING!!
It was like reliving chunks of my own life! I had no idea that other people had friends like mine! I honestly thought that the old time Church Hierarchy people were the ONLY ONES!
I haven't read the book in 15 years, so it was all new -- EXCEPT THAT IT WAS ALL TOO FAMILIAR! Not that this is anything to brag about, but I'm afraid that damn near everything depicted in that movie, happened to me one way or another, except that I've never been to Las Vegas. We didn't do as many POPPERS. I'm afraid it was more along the lines of butyl nitrate, not amyl nitrate. (SHUDDER!!) But MAH GOD. I was seized with paroxysms of NIGHTMARE RECOGNITION. I have SEEN those hotel room floors do that... I have SEEN those Glorps turn into GOD KNOWS WHAT. I have SAT in those conventions in disguise and LOADED ALL OVER. Sure... everybody's seen the toilet splash THAT VIVIDLY. Everybody's seen their fat fucked up buddy come at them with a huge knife in a drug frenzy. But not everybody's seen such ARTISTIC SET DRESSING in HOTEL ROOMS... only thing missing was the torn Dobbsheads. There's a scene where "Hunter S. Thompson" is sitting in this TOTAL SQUALLOR playing back snippets of audio tapes of the horrible things he and his lawyer have done, and it was like being in the Room Full of Funhouse Mirrors.
I can certainly see why Dr. Legume liked it so much, too. I was also reminded very frequently of Pope Sternodox, and at other times of the young Gordon.
A whole lot of that awful behavior I did before I was even 20. But what's a little extra horrifying for me is, SOME of it I went through while I was PUSHING KIDS in STROLLERS through Disney World or the Texas State Fair. (It's miraculous how real short hair, nerd glasses, and a small child combine to hide a multitude of sins). At least Thompson had the sense not to be a WARD CLEAVER LIKE DAD, SIMULTANEOUSLY!
What prompted me to go to the movie today, besides my fucked air conditioning, was the review in the Dallas Morning News. Beth PINKser (honest), the critic, said that that stupid show-off Gilliam's problem was, he was TOTALLY FAITHFUL TO THE BOOK, and so it was of NO INTEREST to ANYBODY unless you really wanted to see depicted the mindscapes of all these stupid untrendy 70s drugs like LSD, ether, mescaline, adrenochrome etc. etc. etc.
I guess that critic and I wouldn't have a whole hell of a lot in common.
To me, it was like watching HOME MOVIES of the times when I DIDN'T want a CAMERA around and DON'T REALLY WANT TO REMEMBER ANYWAY. It's GREAT, though, to have somebody else's memories of it, in a movie theater, so that I don't have to deal with the hangovers.
KIDS -- DON'T try ANY of these stunts at home -- in fact, DON'T TRY 'EM AT ALL!!! LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dont@spam.me (Kill Me)
On Mon, 25 May 1998 19:52:56 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan
Stang) wrote:
>I LAFFED AND LAFFED UNTIL I WAS LITERALLY CRYING!!
aside from the really bad refreak i had during the aformentioned
toilet scene, i thought it was soooooo groooovy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
That carpet thing made me roar...that and Katherine Helmond's face.
There's simply no way that you could create that unless they'd been
there.
>KIDS -- DON'T try ANY of these stunts at home -- in fact, DON'T TRY 'EM AT
>ALL!!! LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
Like I said, Stanky...if our lifestyles haven't killed us yet, maybe
we can't BE killed.
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
I had trouble breathing through most of the movie, as did Rev. Judas Iscariot
and the four other clenchmates I dragged to the movie theater. We should've
brought canisters of air with us.
>What prompted me to go to the movie today, besides my fucked air
>conditioning, was the review in the Dallas Morning News. Beth PINKser
>(honest), the critic, said that that stupid show-off Gilliam's problem was,
>he was TOTALLY FAITHFUL TO THE BOOK, and so it was of NO INTEREST to
>ANYBODY unless you really wanted to see depicted the mindscapes of all
>these stupid untrendy 70s drugs like LSD, ether, mescaline, adrenochrome
>etc. etc. etc.
It was more than faithful to the book; here and there you caught glimpses of
how other people must've seen Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo. Like when the cop
pulled Duke over halfway through the movie. (Although it doesn't say in the
book, Rev. Judas swears the cop must've been a Hunter Thompson fan.)
>To me, it was like watching HOME MOVIES of the times when I DIDN'T want a
>CAMERA around and DON'T REALLY WANT TO REMEMBER ANYWAY. It's GREAT, though,
>to have somebody else's memories of it, in a movie theater, so that I don't
>have to deal with the hangovers.
I'm fortunate that few of my experiments with pharmacology have been
undocumented. Like the Fountain Of Vomit.
P.Lil
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev Zorro White" <revzorro@SPAMCITYgeocities.com>
TarlaStar wrote:
<>Like I said, Stanky...if our lifestyles haven't killed us yet, maybe
>we can't BE killed.
eh, eh...I have to agree on that. Indeed, maybe we can't BE killed, maybe we
only get really, really paranoid
Rev Zorro White
"There are cases where only a rare individual will have the vision to
perceive a system which governs many people's lives, a system which had
never before even been recognized as a system; then such people often devote
their lives to convincing other people that the system really is there, and
that it ought to be exited from!" Hofstadter
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig)
The all-mighty stang-man spoketh:
> It was like reliving chunks of my own life! I had no idea that other people
> had friends like mine! I honestly thought that the old time Church
> Hierarchy people were the ONLY ONES!
>
This post is a PERFECT illustration of why FaLiLV is such a perfect
"Emperor's new Clothes" movie. "Oh it's a WONDERFUL MOVIE, it's JUST
like ME! The Emperor's new clothes are just like MINE! Oh it
is such a COOL movie because only COOL people will like it like ME!"
> What prompted me to go to the movie today, besides my fucked air
> conditioning, was the review in the Dallas Morning News. Beth PINKser
> (honest), the critic, said that that stupid show-off Gilliam's problem was,
> he was TOTALLY FAITHFUL TO THE BOOK, and so it was of NO INTEREST to
> ANYBODY unless you really wanted to see depicted the mindscapes of all
> these stupid untrendy 70s drugs like LSD, ether, mescaline, adrenochrome
> etc. etc. etc.
>
> I guess that critic and I wouldn't have a whole hell of a lot in common.
"Of course not because the critic isn't COOL like ME!"
> KIDS -- DON'T try ANY of these stunts at home -- in fact, DON'T TRY 'EM AT
> ALL!!! LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
"Leave it to the COOL people like ME!"
Stang, nice clothes!
Pastor Craig
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Organization: Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy
craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig) wrote:
>like ME! The Emperor's new clothes are just like MINE! Oh it
>is such a COOL movie because only COOL people will like it like ME!"
You just hate the idea that there are actually people who are superior
to you and that there's not a damned thing you can do about it.
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
I don't think Stang was saying that "Fear & Loathing" was cool because it
was like him. Stang isn't cool. It's just a film about people taking out
their central nervous sytem, throwing it over a branch, and then swinging
to and fro upon it, yodeling and howling. That's the sort of thing Stang
does. Dunno if he thinks it's cool, stimulating or just dumbass fun.
- FJ
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig)
> You just hate the idea that there are actually people who are superior
> to you and that there's not a damned thing you can do about it.
Well, I'll willingly concede that Anatoly Karpov can kick my ass in chess.
I'll willingly concede that Taz could kick my ass in a fight.
I'll willingly concede that Steven Hawking knows more about astrophysics
than me.
However, I don't exactly hate that idea.
Now what did your remark have to do with my review of a movie?
Pastor Craig
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: FeralOne@Infinity.Org (LOE)
On Tue, 26 May 1998 21:10:35 -0400, IrRev. Friday Jones wrote, in alt.slack:
^I don't think Stang was saying that "Fear & Loathing" was cool because it
^was like him. Stang isn't cool. It's just a film about people taking out
^their central nervous sytem, throwing it over a branch, and then swinging
^to and fro upon it, yodeling and howling. That's the sort of thing Stang
^does. Dunno if he thinks it's cool, stimulating or just dumbass fun.
Put into this light, it actually makes me want to see it.
MORE DUMBASS FUN, BAYBEE!!1!
--
Stupidity is the first step toward happiness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "König PreuBe, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
I read "Fear and Loathing" while drinking beer and wearing clothing
on a tuna boat 800 miles off the Oregon coast in 1982
It changed my life! Thank you, "Bill" Patty
Franz Fanon
The Massive of the Girth
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
You wore CLOTHES on a TUNA BOAT? While DRINKING BEER?
Wotta wild man (or whatever)!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org
In article <6kdd8s$jfc@netaxs.com>,
craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig) wrote:
> like ME! The Emperor's new clothes are just like MINE! Oh it
> is such a COOL movie because only COOL people will like it like ME!"
Bullshit, Craig. F&LiLV is TOTALLY unlike me and I fucking LOVED
the movie. Same thing with NAKED LUNCH. Hell, the only movie that
somewhat accurately explains MY life is Tod Brownings FREAKS and
that's just because, for some reason, there is ALWAYS a midget
with a knife looking at me with a slightly dissatisfied look.
The only reason you were disappointed by F&L is because you're
too fucking high-brow to allow yourself the suspension of disbelief
and have yourself a good time.
Or, maybe it's because you felt that you should feel resentful because
you would never EVER allow yourself to go into a drug-crazed stupor.
Hell, in THAT case, I bet you thought the same thing about PRETTY WOMAN.
> > KIDS -- DON'T try ANY of these stunts at home -- in fact, DON'T TRY 'EM AT
> > ALL!!! LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
> "Leave it to the COOL people like ME!"
Now, now, Craigy. You know Ol' Man Stanky cain't even handle his
SMOKES anymore...
-st. andreux
"let man daily invent his glory and his death... march on." - b. rice
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org
In article <6kfs39$t81@netaxs.com>,
craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig) wrote:
> Well, I'll willingly concede that Anatoly Karpov can kick my ass in chess.
I can kick your ass in chess too.
NYAH NYAH NYAH.
you big chess-pussy!
-st. andreux
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <friday-ya02408000R2605982110350001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
.
>
> I don't think Stang was saying that "Fear & Loathing" was cool because it
> was like him. Stang isn't cool. It's just a film about people taking out
> their central nervous sytem, throwing it over a branch, and then swinging
> to and fro upon it, yodeling and howling. That's the sort of thing Stang
> does. Dunno if he thinks it's cool, stimulating or just dumbass fun.
>
I think Pastor Craig was "projecting" a little when it comes to the "cool"
business. I don't think that I, Hunter Thompson or Terry Gilliam (who is a
teetotaller, I believe) are guilty of marvelling at how cool we are; we're
FAR too cool to even THINK about stuff like THAT. I honestly think that
what we're marvelling at is that we're STILL ALIVE AT ALL.
Some of us still believe in miracles, Pastor Craig! Heck, I think it's a
miracle that YOU'RE still alive, too!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <6kfs39$t81@netaxs.com>, craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig) wrote:
>
> > craig@bbs.cpcn.com (Pastor Craig) wrote:
>
> >> This post is a PERFECT illustration of why FaLiLV is such a perfect
> >> "Emperor's new Clothes" movie. "Oh it's a WONDERFUL MOVIE, it's JUST
> >> like ME! The Emperor's new clothes are just like MINE! Oh it
> >> is such a COOL movie because only COOL people will like it like ME!"
>
"EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES"? Last I heard, they're still throwing people into
prisons if they catch 'em doing what the people in that movie were doing! I
had the impression that your War on Drugs approach was rather more
fashionable, Emperor-wise. Even though the Emp owns a lot of stock in the
cigaret and beer companies.
I thought the movie was a fairly objective, almost documentary-like look at
the 1970s insane drug culture. "COOL?" Only the most UNCOOL NERD would
think "COOL" had anything to do with it. For it DOES!!! And the UNCOOL
NERDS are RIGHT!!! DRUGS *ARE* COOL!!! And of all the uncool nerds, Pastor
Craig is TRULY THE KING! PASTOR CRAIG DOES NOT NEED DRUGS BECAUSE PASTOR
CRAIG *IS* DRUGS!!
However, Craig, with all due respect, if you think that most people
consider drugs "cool," then maybe you need to refamiliarize yourself with
Normal-Land and regain your perspective. You're sounding like you've been
hanging out with college students too much.
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang /
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <6kh8nm$9v6$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, saint@prairienet.org wrote:
>
> Bullshit, Craig. F&LiLV is TOTALLY unlike me and I fucking LOVED
> the movie. Same thing with NAKED LUNCH. Hell, the only movie that
> somewhat accurately explains MY life is Tod Brownings FREAKS and
> that's just because, for some reason, there is ALWAYS a midget
> with a knife looking at me with a slightly dissatisfied look.
!!!!! A HAR HAR HAR!!! Good one! I thought I was the only one with the
midget for the longest time. Apparently that GWAR singer "Oderus" has the
midget as well. (He's another "cool guy" that I "hang out with" to be
"cool.")
Do you ever get the cute girl midget with the scissors?
>
> The only reason you were disappointed by F&L is because you're
> too fucking high-brow to allow yourself the suspension of disbelief
> and have yourself a good time.
>
> Or, maybe it's because you felt that you should feel resentful because
> you would never EVER allow yourself to go into a drug-crazed stupor.
Heck, I allowed myself into just the MOVIE, in a drug-crazed stupor! Not to
mention my EVERY WAKING MOMENT SINCE 11th grade, UP TO THAT POINT! FOR ALL
I KNOW, THE MOVIE REALLY SUCKED!!
But what difference does that make, since I enjoyed it?
>
> Hell, in THAT case, I bet you thought the same thing about PRETTY WOMAN.
I will admit that watching CERTAIN porno movies make me all jealous and
resentful, too. Like TARANTULA (John Agar, Leo G. Carroll). So I can kinda
identify with Craig's inner conflict here.
>
> > > KIDS -- DON'T try ANY of these stunts at home -- in fact, DON'T TRY 'EM AT
> > > ALL!!! LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
> > "Leave it to the COOL people like ME!"
>
> Now, now, Craigy. You know Ol' Man Stanky cain't even handle his
> SMOKES anymore...
>
Not them FRIGGIES, and the BITCHES have me on the ANTABUSE again, but god
damn it, I still got me some of the finest mountain grown hand-plucked
dagger-blinded FROP BUDS WEST OF THE HIMALAYAS, 9 cannisters of Kentucky
Po'Bucker Bobbie Soul, about half a bucket of remagnetised Janor Heads --
and they'll take that shit away from me when they pry it out of my cold
dead overdose-blue FINGERS!!!
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <6kpb2v$pg3@enews1.newsguy.com>, !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
wrote:
> mplm@spectra.net (sinbad) wrote:
>
>
> >a lid was an ounce. does anyone remember ( and here i age myself a bit) when
> >lids where $10 to $20 and every once in a while you would find one in the
> >street. you could smoke anywhere because nobody knew what that smell was.
>
> Yep, I remember the days of the "dime bag."
I was really pissed off the first time I had to pay $15 instead of $10. It
wasn't long after that that comic books went up to 50 cents. That was when
I started to understand the "Econocataclysm" that "Bob" was predicting.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <ebear-ya02408000R3005981552040001@news.direct.ca>,
ebear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear) wrote:
> In article <6kp3su$1ma$1@supernews.com>, mplm@spectra.net (sinbad) wrote:
>
> We used indian incense to mask the smell, although I think Pat's mom was
> more alarmed by the music than any smells coming from his bedroom. (we
> were heavily into UMMAGUMMA, Meddle, and Tonto's Expanding Headband)
>
> You couldn't travel by skateboard in those days 'cos boards had metal
> wheels (hard to believe, but it's true). It wasn't that bad though, 'cos
> everyone wore these pants with giant suction cup legs that would grab onto
> the sidewalk and sort of pull you along.
And sure, the dope was cheap, $10 a lid, but to "score" it, you had to kill
a cop and cut off his head to prove you were "okay," then let the dealers
sodomize you in a dark alley. Then, when you got the drugs back to your
"pad," and had the Quicksilver long version of "Who Do You Love" on, you
had to scrape the poison and blood off the dope, and process it in one of
those Dope-a-Mizers, which gave off this huge stink over the whole
neighborhood, and then to actually get the drugs into you, you had to,
number one, be COOL, and number two, slice open an artery and smear the
processed dope tar into the wound and then stitch it up and bandage it
before the "rush" hit.
Nowadays, of course, you don't need the Dope-a-Mizer; you only have to be
COOL. And have $300 an ounce instead of $10.
But REAL reason that we act "COOL" is just so we can get "LAID," "MAN."
We're all too ugly to get laid otherwise, Pastor Craig.
GIVE IN, man!!! SELL OUT!!! You could be drowning in a sea of nookie by
TONIGHT!! If you would just... "BE... COOOOOOL..... MAN!!!"
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I don't think that I, Hunter Thompson or Terry Gilliam (who is a
> teetotaller, I believe) are guilty of marvelling at how cool we are; we're
> FAR too cool to even THINK about stuff like THAT. I honestly think that
> what we're marvelling at is that we're STILL ALIVE AT ALL.
>
> Some of us still believe in miracles, Pastor Craig! Heck, I think it's a
> miracle that YOU'RE still alive, too!
It's DEFINITELY a miracle that I'm NOT alive. The FEAR killed me..but
the Loa-Thing in my soul keeps my body moving ever onward toward the
Apocalypse.
Watch out for the Loa. They aren't just in Haiti anymore.
Legume
"I got a great big pointy fang that is my zombie toof."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "St. K" <ksantos@uafphpl.uark.edu>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
PASTOR CRAIG DOES NOT NEED DRUGS BECAUSE PASTOR
> CRAIG *IS* DRUGS!!
You read about Salvador Dali being introduced to Jerry Garcia (leader of
the drug band), didn't you? Dali curled his lip, sniffed the air above
his own face, and stated, "I don't do drugs, I am drugs." Surely Pastor
Craig is not as drugs as Dali was.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org
In article <i.stang-ya02408000R0406982025520001@enews.newsguy.com>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>
> !!!!! A HAR HAR HAR!!! Good one! I thought I was the only one with the
> midget for the longest time. Apparently that GWAR singer "Oderus" has the
> midget as well. (He's another "cool guy" that I "hang out with" to be
> "cool.")
I think that's the sign of TRUE madness. Phred has this weird thing
where he sees CHEESE LOGS wherever he goes... Kind of like that old
TOOTSIE ROLL COMMERCIAL.
I see MIDGETS. And not in the USUAL PLACES where you see them cluster.
I'm not talking about CARNIVALS or FREAK SHOWS or FOOTBALL GAMES or
even at the LOCAL K-MART.
I'm talking about standing on the corner of the street, picking their
nails with a blackjack. (And, we're not talking about the card hand
here.) They look up through my window. Not smiling, of course! Oh no!
Not even with an EVIL GRIN. I could *HANDLE* that.
But the DEADPAN STARE O' IMPENDING MIDGET DOOM.
...you know the look.
Give me the willies, it does!
> Do you ever get the cute girl midget with the scissors?
Maybe about six years back, out of the corner of my eye, I saw
SOMETHING like scissors, but she wasn't CUTE by terms. Rather
"frumpy", I'd say. Maybe, dare I mention, "ROLY-POLY".
It *wasn't* a pleasant experience. I had to walk quietly for
a week after lest they followed.
> > Hell, in THAT case, I bet you thought the same thing about PRETTY
WOMAN.
> I will admit that watching CERTAIN porno movies make me all jealous and
> resentful, too. Like TARANTULA (John Agar, Leo G. Carroll). So I can kinda
> identify with Craig's inner conflict here.
I'm not saying that Craig is totally wrong here, but that he has
to quit with the sweeping statements. I tell you, just because he
looks more like Jean Luc Picard than ANY OF US, he does NOT get to
say what movies we LIKE and which we DON'T.
> > > > KIDS -- DON'T try ANY of these stunts at home -- in fact, DON'T TRY
'EM AT
> > > > ALL!!! LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
> > > "Leave it to the COOL people like ME!"
> > Now, now, Craigy. You know Ol' Man Stanky cain't even handle his
> > SMOKES anymore...
> Not them FRIGGIES, and the BITCHES have me on the ANTABUSE again, but god
> damn it, I still got me some of the finest mountain grown hand-plucked
> dagger-blinded FROP BUDS WEST OF THE HIMALAYAS, 9 cannisters of Kentucky
> Po'Bucker Bobbie Soul, about half a bucket of remagnetised Janor Heads --
> and they'll take that shit away from me when they pry it out of my cold
> dead overdose-blue FINGERS!!!
Yeah, and now we know where the Church funds REALLY go. I figured
as much. WHAT ABOUT THE HOME FOR SLACKLESS CHILDREN, MAN?!?!
"We can't deliver that slack to them in beat up pintos! No! We
NEED those limosines!" - Janor Hypercleets (paraphrased)
-st. andreux
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: p-lil@purgatory.of.firey.vulvas.subgenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <i.stang-ya02408000R0406982025520001@enews.newsguy.com>,
i.stang@subgenius.com says...
>
>Do you ever get the cute girl midget with the scissors?
Stang, you said you'd never MENTION the girl midget *or* the scissors. As long
as you don't mention anything ELSE that happened backstage, I guess we should
come clean about why the midget was running around with the scissors in the
back of the audience.
You see, the pumpkin really wasn't filled with squirrels.
The squirrels escaped when PuzEv dropped a lit froppipe right next to the stack
of lurid transvestite squid porn paperbacks that held up the squirrel cage. By
the time I got through beating out the flames the squirrels were gone.
So I hired the midget to find squirrels. I should've known she'd get
"substitutes" from the audience. YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW. You didn't look
*inside* the pumpkin, so it's a moot point. You enjoyed it, you got slack off
it, and then you let the crowd toss it around, NOBODY SUSPECTING WHAT THEY WERE
THROWING BACK AND FORTH.
The shit I go through for this religion....
P.Lil
--
|Reverend Doktor Saint Popess| Fools' Press |
| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |
| Sadomasticist At Large | mitchell@interserv.com |
|Spiting the Gods since 1989!| http://bounce.to/p-lil |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>
saint@prairienet.org wrote:
> I see MIDGETS. And not in the USUAL PLACES where you see them cluster.
I still se clowns...and the shadow man, of course
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <6kj3oq$km8@examiner.concentric.net>, Pee Kitty
<Pkitty@viking.cris.com> wrote:
>
> Nope. You're in your own herd.
>
> So am I.
>
> So's anyone reading this.
>
> Except Bill T. Miller.
>
What? Bill has no herd? He is alone?
QUICK!!! POUNCE ON HIM AND DESTROY OR ABSORB HIM!!!
All must be melded into the herds, and then the Herds shall be melded into
the One Herd, and then the One's Laughterhouse Door shall be opened, and
Cowboy Dobbs shall holler, "GIT".
Ivan "Brandin' Iron" Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: spoiler review for "Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas"
In article <6ks0e1$cfo$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, nickie@subgenius.com wrote:
>
> I wouldn't go see a movie that Pastor Craig did. That would be icky.
>
COOTIES!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org
COOTER!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: NENSLO <n@n.slo>
Organization: V.I.T.R.I.O.L.
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I was really pissed off the first time I had to pay $15 instead of $10. It
> wasn't long after that that comic books went up to 50 cents. That was when
I remember when they used to pay you to smoke dope and you had to fight
off guys on the street trying to force comic books into your pockets.
That was just after they used to try to give away a whole comic book
publishing company with every bag of dope they paid you a thousand bucks
just to look at. Before that they used to send Johnny Craig around to
your house asking for suggestions on how to draw covers for the Haunt of
Fear driving a dumptruck full of dope that they'd make you God just for
saying you thought about looking at it and even if you told him to go
away you'd find him trying to stuff copies of Action Comics #1 under
your door. Before that Simon and Kirby used to get in fistfights just
to see which one got to walk down your street thinking about a dumptruck
full of dope and when you opened your door in the morning you'd find it
was blocked up with money and printing presses in the very act of
printing Frisky Fables and Calling All Kids, with Al Fago on one end
drawing the art right on the printing plates and Lev Gleason on the
other end packing them into boxes with your name on it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "König PreuBe, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
This makes me tremble, and if I wasn't dehydrated, I'd piss
my pants! I remember that place, I think it was in the basement
on 18th or mebbee 19th St. just off Powell in Souf Eas' Puddle City.
We heated the butcher's knives red hot to cut the kilo plaques
of black Moroccan, sniffed the smoke off the cut, and collected
big balls of the sticky shit off the blade as our due (dew). One chick here,
you can hold cans of ink paste under her nose blindfolded, and she
can not only tell you who made it, but also what color it is. She gets
hot about spec'ing type, sticking type, a tacky bitch, and proud perky
nips that are of the raspberry, pointed up and out persuasion, she
passionately deep-throats for 3-4 hours if you keep the nose candy coming.
She's a regular printer's devil! And fast. She can push the button on the
camera,
and be in position before the shutter closes.
Mr. Wizburger
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