Where Will You Fly Your Saucer?

Where Will You Fly Your Saucer?

From: friday@thecia.net (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.friday,alt.slack
Subject: Where Will You Fly Your Saucer?
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 1997
Organization: PARTS

So - you're a SubGenius, X-Day has arrived, and you're on the Saucers
looking down at all the scuttling little unsaved Pinks who you used to have
to pretend were your "equals." HA! Now the human norm-worms will PAY THE
PRICE!

So - where especially do you look forward to PERSONALLY delivering the
Wrath of You? Going to look up some old high school acquaintances?
Perhaps drop in on your "boss" at work? Even visit some family members?
Please, do tell!

- FJ
Visit alt.friday!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: twgs@thepoint.net (Dave Lynch)

I will fly my saucer right into my head and blow up all the evil memes
and monster-people who live there. Then I will drink a Slack Martini
and sleep for longer than Cthulhu. When I wake up everybody else will
better have blown themselves up, or else I will do it for them. And
then I will go back to sleep.

--
This message was posted through a fly's ear, and you have to have
a fly's eye to see it! * SUPPORT SEMANTIC TERRORISM * NOT FUCKABLE
"There are other worlds they have not told you of"- Sun Ra|Dave #1

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: elvisjr@goodnet.com (Elvis J.R.)

We aren't going anywhere. That's when we set off the nukes from

p.o.e.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mhm_16_x_3@alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk (Rocky)

I'm gonna blow my BITCH FROM HELL mum away. I don't really give a shit about
anyone else. She made my life hell for 10 years till my parents divorce.

Well that's not strictly true "I'm gonna round all the tories up, put them in a
field and bomb the barstards" ala Kenny Everett RIP.

Oh and maybee some of people who made those fucking awfull ads on Eurosport.

Thinking about it there is no real end to this once you get going is there!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

It's just a short jaunt (especially in a saucer) from here to the
Cleveland County Courthouse and the Norman P.D. Then---I'm goin' to
Disneyworld!

***Reverend Mutha Tarla Star***
As long as men keep thinking with their dicks,
women will keep fucking with their heads.
//www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: eguy@mindspring.com (Eric Guy)

Where?

Netcom, sose I can fry the shit outa their pansy assed so-called abuse
policy management.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Assuming the saucer is more crash-proof than those wimpy-ass Grey saucers, I'm
planning on barrelling mine REALLY close to the ground--low enough to give
gophers friction burns. Houses? Trees? People? Eh, they saw me coming. Or
rather, they probably *heard* me coming, as the sound of raw destruction
hurtling across the land as I come their way. They should get AMPLE warning.
And, to be truthful, they already HAD ample warning.

I'm going to use my saucer to carve "SHIT HAPPENS" in ten-mile-wide strokes
all over the 48 continental states. We should be able to see it from space
once I'm done.

Vengeance? Nah. More like JUSTICE--and justice is blinder than Stang.

P-Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: revdave@plainfield.bypass.com (David S. Tanstaafl)
>
> - FJ
>Visit alt.friday!
>

Oh my aching member. I've rubbed myself raw at the thoughts you've
inspired. Suffice it to say that the venom I've stored up in the 26 years
of hell I've endured on this cesspool called earth is substantial. I
would have to author an encyclopedia to describe all the justice I will
mete!

The first sentence I will carry out will be on a 'fellow' wage slave who
has irritated me with his hypocritical pompous overbearing ways. He is
vehemently homophobic so I thought I could find some obliging Subs to
help him be sure of his feelings for homosexuality if not for anal sex.
I WON'T bring the Surgi-Lube. The next step will be to make a smiley face
on his belly with my machete, extrude his intestines and feed my dog. What
is left will be stuffed back in w/o mending.Peritonitis sucks! The final
insult will be putting him in a sack w/ thousands of angry bees.He's an
amateur Beekeeper! I will remember his cries fondly while swilling ale
from his hollowed skull.

Rev. David Tanstaafl
Clenched Fist Clench
Holy Order of the
Stormtrooper Onanists for "BOB"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: bg19354@binghamton.edu.NoMoReDaMnSpAm (Nully Fydyan)

I'm sorry. I don't fuck out of species.

Nully

--
Rev. Nully Fydyan
Church of the Ungendered Yeti

"The day that Elvis died was like a mercy killing. America breathed a sigh of relief." -- Dan Bern

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: zippo@nuts.nada.nuthin (RevLurch)

I'm going to Disney world.

might stop off at McDonald's first. Get a muffin

lurch

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: iceknife@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE)

mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
wrote:

>gophers friction burns. Houses? Trees? People? Eh, they saw me coming. Or
>rather, they probably *heard* me coming, as the sound of raw destruction
>hurtling across the land as I come their way. They should get AMPLE warning.
>And, to be truthful, they already HAD ample warning.

nope. the saucers travel at speeds that far exceed sound. you'd be
done before the firsdt shockwave hit. they'd never hear it coming.
they'd be dead before the sound hit. Don't you ever watch MR.WIZARD?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Yeah, but if I'm flying that fast I won't get to enjoy the carnage. I figure
Mach 0.9 should be adequate.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: revdave@plainfield.bypass.com (David S. Tanstaafl)

>I'm sorry. I don't fuck out of species.
>
>Nully
>

I figured I might run into this problem. SO I will resort to bribery.
A case of MOXIE to anyone who helps.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rob Cruickshank" <crescendo@xtra.co.nz>

I was thinking of Auckland, because
a) it's dominating NZ culture, such as it is
b) it's far too big
c) a good friend of mine got assaulted there some time back
d) Paul Holmes
e) it's half choked to death anyway, and best of all
f) there's lots of extinct volcanoes that way; a few well-placed gravity
waves should liven them up quite nicely.

Then maybe I'd do over Tauranga (reason: Wiggly Penis - sorry, Winston
Peters) just for an encore.
--
The Left Hon. Robert Cruickshank
Ministry of Famous Broken Legs and Things

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Carl Guderian <carlg@pop.net>

Well, they're kinda small, you mean those George Adamski henhouse
lamp-lookin' things right? I'd grab 2 of them and run down K St. in
downtown DC and start swinging. Since everyone else would be gaping
in horror at a sky fulla heliopters, I could prolly dent quite a
few lobbyist skulls before anyone noticed.

Then I'd "borrow" an idling Xist saucer (while the Xist is feeding
somewhere nearby), take it to NYC and dive-bomb like a Stuka the
office of Burson Marsteller (230 Park Avenue, if you care) who
does PR for dictators.

That should get me warmed up.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <65cq8f$fk8@snews3.zippo.com>,
mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench) wrote:

>
> I'm going to use my saucer to carve "SHIT HAPPENS" in ten-mile-wide strokes
> all over the 48 continental states. We should be able to see it from space
> once I'm done.

I *LIKE* it!!

Great visual. HMMMMM....

>
> Vengeance? Nah. More like JUSTICE--and justice is blinder than Stang.
>

And Friday Jones is even blinder than JUSTICE! I'd SURE hate to be a Pink
on HER bad side come X-Day.

--
Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

I'd hate to be a *SubGenius* on Friday's bad side, any day. The bad side
blocks all her best features.

NO, I didn't say "back side".

P-Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@thecia.net (IrRev. Friday Jones)

Friday's Ass - As Big As Texas And Just As Flat!

Butt seriously - I complement Madame Lilith's sensitivity on seeing my bad
side. Many never even notice it. It's so frustrating to HATE and have no
one notice until you actually draw BLOOD - and then they just say you're
having a "bad day."

Heunh!
- FJ

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: YOUR LOGIN NAME <felixxx@goodnet.com>

After the tactical nuclear launch, we are taking a vacation from Earth. I've been here all my life and it's time.
:)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@DOESN'T.SPAM.SUCK.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

In article <friday-ya02408000R0212972345560001@news.thecia.net>,
friday@thecia.net (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

:>Ah hell, there's that head, making a tent out of my... uh... where's that ice
:>pack? Can't this wait until I get HOME so I can prep myself?
:>
:>Grrrrrrrrrrr. Friday, hon, can you help out?
:
:/me hands lovely Lilith an iceberg to cool herself off with, and the
:Titanic to act as a gravy boat.

Ah, thank you dear. And the berg's got a fissure...! Perfect. I'll stick
the Titanic under the berg to catch the drippings.

:>I'd hate to be a *SubGenius* on Friday's bad side, any day. The bad side
:>blocks all her best features.
:>
:>NO, I didn't say "back side".
:
:Friday's Ass - As Big As Texas And Just As Flat!

Aw, it wasn't THAT flat. Since when must attractive butts look like two
beachballs bobbing on a gusty lake? (I like that TOO, naturally.)

:Butt seriously - I complement Madame Lilith's sensitivity on seeing my bad
:side. Many never even notice it. It's so frustrating to HATE and have no
:one notice until you actually draw BLOOD - and then they just say you're
:having a "bad day."

My little radiator of hate, if we cannot conceive of a person living in
total happiness--for even "Bob" occasionally has to shit really badly--then
it follows that we cannot conceive of a person living without feeling hate
at least once. It's taboo to deeply or meaningfully talk about hate, which
is the coward's biggest mistake. The recognition and usage of hate in ways
that creates Slack is what separates Us most distinctly from Them. In my
Yoga of Hate I focus my whole being in such hateful ways that I become a
Devotee of Hate, daring to hate Hate itself, achieving the Hate-Squared
mentioned in *Revelation X*. Which is about all I can really say on the
subject, except that I like the color in your cheeks when you're hating.

Both sets.

P-Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <662c4u$639@snews3.zippo.com>,
mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench) wrote:

>
> I'd hate to be a *SubGenius* on Friday's bad side, any day. The bad side
> blocks all her best features.
>
> NO, I didn't say "back side".
>

I'm LOLLING and LOLLING!!! :) :) :$

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

I got to the point PAST Hate Squared, to HATE-3, the Hating of the Hating
of Hate. In other words, the divine HATING of any NON-Hating. That's why I
hate the Holocaustians the most. They're all talk. No Holocaustal has ever
killed a SINGLE Pink. We Ivangelicals only give orders which we know WILL
be obeyed. Our hatred is implacable, but... practical.

A mild but PRACTICAL hate in the brain of the WIMPIEST Ivangelical,is a far
deadlier weapon than the most VICIOUS blabbermouth Hate of the big-mouthed,
potbellied NO-ACTION Holocaustalss!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

In article <i.stang-ya02408000R0412971305350001@snews.zippo.com>, i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>
>I'm LOLLING and LOLLING!!! :) :) :$

..All over yourself, at that. Want a bib?

P-Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@thecia.net (IrRev. Friday Jones)

>In article <i.stang-ya02408000R0412971305350001@snews.zippo.com>,
i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>>I'm LOLLING and LOLLING!!! :) :) :$

Stang, take your dick(s) out of your mouth while you're online! Save that
for IRC, willya?

Sheezukongfichi!

- FJ

Back to document index

SHIT HAPPENS below by Nenslo after P-Lil; EAT AT BOB'S by Poindexter