Re: SubGenius Nation

From: Steve Slack <Obnostic@erols.com>

Sister Pammy of the Soil wrote:

> Television has not improved the human race--instead they've gotten
> more sheeplike, and their bleating has taken on a particularly
> universal tone.

It's like they were all fanatical about a song which was comprised
of ONE DISSONANT ENDLESSLY REPEATING CHORD.

I've noticed how pervasive BAD television is, as regards to
the lives of the unwitting. It leads them to assume, nay
DEMAND, that everyone around them be

1) Rich
2) Young
3) Physically perfect.

Mabye ONE percent of the population meets all three of these
criteria. Yet the remaining 99 will abuse and walk all over
each other for not being, or in the attempt to be, or to attach
themselves to that 1%.

> We yetis should have been born
> free and wild, but since we hatch out into humanity's domain we have
> to fight like hell to get a space to call our own. Hang in there!

For novice Subs, one of the easist things to do, yet one of the
hardest things to make a habit, is to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

A small incident that happened last night bore this out. I had
parallel parked the Slackwagon, packed so full of holy crapola
I could barely see out the back, in a tight space between two
vehicles at my new Obnostic media bunker. The butt end of the
Slackwagon was sticking out into the street. I was barely within
the legal distance limit from the curb and even though I KNEW,
just flat out KNEW, that some pu-man was gonna come take my bumper
apart, I said fuck it, unloaded and went to bed.

Need I tell you what I came down to the next morning? The left
hand rear bumper guard torn off and lying in the street, and a
note on my window.

Or take the example of this job I'm working. My boss at the
previous job basically HANDED me this one since her husband
was the VP. My old Bobbie self balked at the thought of
dealing with an even stuffier crowd of conservatives, but then
my Motherfucker Superior screamed "You Dumbass! Quit being
a frightened little baby, put those acting skills to work
and go for it!"

And you've already heard me whine about the drawbacks, but
GET THIS: THEIR work only takes me an HOUR a day to complete.
I won't bore you with further details, but needless to say
I stay BUSY, ALL DAY.

And my old job? Re-organized with a $40/week salary reduction.

See what happens when you not only THINK, but KNOW???

And I could give MANY other examples of when I didn't trust
my instincts, where nothing bad happened but nothing great
either.

I guess next, that I will now go rescue the lead guitar
player from the Slack Attack tape BACK from this lame,
all-hype douchebag he's hooked up with.

Best of luck to me!!

----------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Underground/5867/

What did the Japanese beauty queen say to the waiter?
"I no want no hot dog, I want flesh fluit!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: p-lil@purgatory.of.firey.vulvas.subgenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

On the eve of Fri, 10 Jul 1998 13:01:42 -0400, in the Temple of
<35A648F6.496@erols.com>, Obnostic@erols.com bellowed forth across the
wasteland:
>
>Like the mathematician at his scribble-crowded chalkboard, we
>are perfecting a FORMULA which we can apply to RECREATE OUR
>OWN REALITY. And unlike the number-crunching Pinkies striving
>to create a ONE EQUATION FITS ALL reality, we know that what
>we derive from our calculations can only be applied to OURSLEVES
>and THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND.

Ay-fucking-men.

P.Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: p-lil@purgatory.of.firey.vulvas.subgenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

On the eve of Sat, 11 Jul 1998 18:48:03 GMT, in the Temple of
<35a7b171.1893855@news.mindspring.com>, $toxiccow@mind$pring.com bellowed forth
across the wasteland:
>
>Steve Slack <Obnostic@erols.com> wrote:
>
>>Yes, @reux, it took me THAT long and I was a $20 member who
>>joined in '83!!
>>
>>See, I still believed that humans could change, and that
>>they could help me in my Nameless Mission.
>
>I sacrificed several years to that futile, fatal concept. Finally had
>to kill myself to get better!
>>
>>Well they changed all right. THEY GOT WORSE!!
>
>Television has not improved the human race--instead they've gotten
>more sheeplike, and their bleating has taken on a particularly
>universal tone.

Human beings were never designed to evolve. Our Yeti ancestors didn't bother to
encode the DNA sequence to allow a lot of flexibility. Somehow they survived,
and even developed technology so they wouldn't have to worry about their lack
of flexibility.

Although we are genetically mostly-human, spiritually we know there's a fuck of
a lot more to existence than a TV set and a cold beer. AS MUCH AS WE MIGHT
ENJOY TV AND BEER, we know that there are much finer things, and that knowledge
will allow us to move onward in directions the human race cannot fathom or
follow.

P.Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Locnar@IgLou.com (Randolph S. Vance)

Television has always served to enslave the masses from it's very
beginning. Any normal television screen will oscillate at 60 pictures per
second, blinking fast enough so that a subliminal message could be
broadcast and never be perceived by the concious mind.

Why, now they even have this doohickey out for the television called
"MotiVision", and in the ads, they showed a normal pink family watching TV
and being BOMBARDED by EVEN MORE SUBLIMINAL messages. "Now you can lose
weight, JUST BY WATCHING YOUR TV!". Subliminals are DANGEROUS things and
even subliminal advertising in pink motion pictures worked far better than
anyone had ever dreamed at selling popcorn and sodas. Imagine CITIES of
Pinks being sent messages by this "MotiVision" device, telling them in a
split second "KILL!"

No wonder there's all the increases in "random" Pink violence. Most
certainly it's the cause behind the wave of school shootings.

Rev. Locnar

--
Randolph S. Vance
Locnar@Iglou.com (Macintosh Eudora Mail)

QUOTE - "I'll watch some TV, it'll help me to RELAX!" - Ren Hoek

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Mrs Babymash - (snr)" <mrs_grumpy@pistonU.com>

"I don't even need a program guide anymore...I just know what's on." - Alice
Cooper

________________________
Mrs Babymash (snr)
YWPL - Foundation Member/
The Guild Of The Sacred Lily -
President/Treasurer 1971-98

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: temujin9@spamless.mci2000.com (Nathaniel Eliot)

Actually, I rather liked the explaination forwarded in Newsweek:
all that touchy-feely crap-pap about raising self esteem in kids
has come home to roost, resulting in a nation of kids with
overinflated senses of worth. Of course, those egos, being
filled with hot air instead of geniune accomplishments, pop very
much like a balloon in contact with the "Pin of Reality".

temujin9

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: terrygibson@rocketmail.com

> >Like the mathematician at his scribble-crowded chalkboard, we
> >are perfecting a FORMULA which we can apply to RECREATE OUR
> >OWN REALITY. And unlike the number-crunching Pinkies striving
> >to create a ONE EQUATION FITS ALL reality, we know that what
> >we derive from our calculations can only be applied to OURSLEVES
> >and THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND.
>

Praise Fucking WE...................Praise we!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: e/wbear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear)

In article <35acc0d2.1444964@news.mci2000.com>,
temujin9@spamless.mci2000.com (Nathaniel Eliot) wrote:

> Actually, I rather liked the explaination forwarded in Newsweek:
> all that touchy-feely crap-pap about raising self esteem in kids
> has come home to roost, resulting in a nation of kids with
> overinflated senses of worth. Of course, those egos, being
> filled with hot air instead of geniune accomplishments, pop very
> much like a balloon in contact with the "Pin of Reality".
>
yup, about 24 hours after they graduate from "art" school.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Deekoo L. <squoink.Shl@imunet.com>

SS> What pisses me off the most, besides the fact that I invented
SS> grunge music in '86 and was never credited for it,

Be thankful. The Xhhl'Rwlk are planning even now their most diabolical
veangeance yet on the beings who dared broadcast grunge over THEIR favourite
place in the electromagnetic spectrum.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Unit4@Sputum.Com (Doktor DynaSoar)

In alt.slack Michael S. Brito, Jr. wrote:

} Fucked up! I guess we all need something to believe in...... I hope I find
} it......

Find it?

FIND IT?

MAKE IT.

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Unit4@Sputum.Com (Doktor DynaSoar)

In alt.slack Modemac wrote:

} A Message from Susie the Floozie:
}
[snipola]
}
} SURE, Stang and Jesus are brazen charlatans who took advantage of
} our willing gullibility, and SURE, the chance of actual redemption from the
} skies was about zilch point shit. Still, I tried to keep that wool pulled
} and to be a starry-eyed little seeker for the Cause, although deep inside
} there was the feeling that we were about to get the Big Burn of All Time.
} But something mystical happened out there in that SubGenius Sweat Lodge,
} and I know I'm not the only one who felt it.

So many have said, here and elsewhere, even Stang hisowndamnself.

The world as we know it DID end on 7/5. It had been working up to it for a
long time, but by this time it was manifest.

By this time it was no longer JUST a joke. This has become a real Church. It
doesn't NEED to be "the" joke. The universe does a fine job on its own.

I felt it happening Thursday evening. While circulating amongst the various
encampments and enclaves with my own betrothed Sex Goddess, RevEl, I looked
around from the center of the field and saw them all. It suddenly struck me,
and I had to say it: "This is my Church."

There will of course be those too rigid to adapt to the fact that some of
Yetinsyny express emotions rather than preplanned and prejudicial sarcasm. So
it goes. If they can't accept that some others aren't just like them, and
choose to express something else, something positive, fuck them. Oh, I expect
PLENTY of sarcasm from those who see it as their calling. I damn near DEMAND
it from them. I'm just sorry that there'll be those for whom it'll be their
sole capability rather than their talent.

How will YOU survive the coming End Times? I'll survive it by laughing my ass
off with "Bob". We SURVIVED X-Day. We'll probably survive a lot more. After
the End Of The World, everything else has been a lot easier.

Dance on, Sister Susie.

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "?!" <s\c\h\a\b\e@m\r.n\e\t>

For me, the moment it really hit me, or at least the moment it hit me
the hardest so far, was at the Rupture itself... A little under 10 minutes
before the hour, Stang was onstage ranting like a sleep-deprived SubG when
he said something like:

"And remember, on the saucers you will become whatever you want to
become and so... I hope you want to be coming..."

Or else it was "I hope you want to /become it/." I've gone over the
tape a dozen times trying to figure out which exactly. It figures -- Stang
says the exact right words at the exact right moment to unlock some buried
potential in my psyche and he *mutters* so I can't hear him clearly.
Bastard.

Anyways, I have a lot of ideas about *what* I felt at that moment, but I
can't describe *how* I felt. Suffice to say, I agree with those who feel
that SubGeniusness became more like a "real" Church that sunday. I'm just
not sure how much I like that idea... I'm too much of a skeptic to think
that we *really* signalled the Xists. I'm too superstitious to forget that
the Gods encourage believers so that they may *feed*. And I was too *there*
not to think that X-Day was the dawn of a new, perfect,
naked-blood-wrestling-intensive Age of Slack -- or at least something about
that good.

The part of me that took all those psychology classes back in college
thinks "I hope you want to be coming" was an invitation, and "I hope you
want to become it" was a warning.

I guess the way I figure it is this -- The Church of the SubGenius is
indeed my Church, and my Church commands me NOT TO BELIEVE.

---
schabe "my karma ran over yo' mama" @mr.net
http://webpages.mr.net/schabe

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