Jahnu das <jahnu@wineasy.se> wrote:
>raven@kaiwan.com (/\/\ ) wrote:
>
>>"Bob" said he beat the crap out of Krishna.
>>You lose.
>>"Bob":1
>>Krishna:0
>
>Aren't you getting a little overly excited here?
>Krishna is the Supreme. How could any one beat Him?
>In fact He beats everyone in His feature of time.
Because "Bob" is "Bob". He is bigger than supreme.
"Bob" is more powerful than the most powerful entity that can be
concieved of. "Bob" is beyond mere existance, he is existance itself.
All exists on the Slack plane "Bob" generates from his Holy Pipe.
Before "Bob", all other possible gods are but as gerbils.
Even the Great Cosmic Poodle that dances on the Great Hot Griddle of Life
is not as grand and overarching as "Bob".
The grandest God you can possibly imagine is not grand enough to
imagine the grandness of "Bob".
Imagine the mightiest and most omnipotent God you can. Now imagine you
have an infinite number of them. "Bob" is greater still.
Anything you can imagine in your wildest fanatsies are not adequate to
even begin to discuss the concept itself, of discussing "Bob".
All the great godbesmitten theologians of all of history are not adequate to
even begin to be dimly aware of the true greatness and reality of "Bob".
All the choirs of all the angels of all the gods ever claimed to have
existed are inadequate to sing the glories and praises of "Bob"!
"Bob" existed before there was such a thing as existance!
If one sacrificed all the gods of man's history to "Bob" on a bloody altar
fired by all the fires of a thousand hells of a thousand different
religions, "Bob" would still deserve more than that.
If a million omnipotent gods used all their powers to try to give "Bob"
the praise he deserves, a million *OMNIPOTENT GODS* could not do that task!
All the most powerful, omniscient, omnipotent, all encompassing,
all creating, gods of all man's history no matter how supreme, superior,
one and only, beyond understanding, powerful beyond speaking,
are but as simply earthworms before the grandness that is "Bob".
(500 lines cut.......)
>Oh, you forgot? Let me remind you. You and Bob and everyone here in
>this conference won't be here in another 60 or 70 years. Ever think
>of that? Some of us won't even be here tomorrow or next year.
>We'll have been beaten by time.
Hopefully you won't be here bothering us or "Bob" tomorrow.
>So;
>everyone: 0
>Krishna: 1
Krishna does not exist, but the Dead Elvis does.
Krishna 0
Dead Elvis 1/2
"Bob" 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope Of Houston
Slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Crazy_Bob@Brown.edu (Crazy Bob)
wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell) says:
>Because "Bob" is "Bob". He is bigger than supreme.
>"Bob" is more powerful than the most powerful entity that can be
>concieved of. "Bob" is beyond mere existance, he is existance itself.
>All exists on the Slack plane "Bob" generates from his Holy Pipe.
(Absurd groveling cut)
Your cosmic hyperbole makes me sick! How can you possibly achieve
Slack if you spend every waking moment trying to come up with new ways
to attempt to explain BOB's mightiness? You are like Sisyphus rolling
a verbal rock up a hill-- be sure to jump out of the way when it comes
rolling back lest you be crushed by the impotent weight of your own
excessive verbiage.
There is no point in trying to convert people by explaining Bob's
mightiness. I don't care if Bob is mighty or if he's the shoeshine boy
of the Gods (which he is obviously not -- he spends his time selling
the Gods their own omnipotence -- but for the sake of argument) because
I know that when the saucers come down I will achieve ultimate Slack and
finally be able to spit in the eye of the conspiracy!
CB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell)
I wasn't groveling. I was just stating facts. Mere facts. Oh, the
world does not want to acknowledge these obviously true facts, the only
facts that are true, by the way. But hey, it's the world's problem, not
mine.
>Your cosmic hyperbole makes me sick! How can you possibly achieve
>Slack if you spend every waking moment trying to come up with new ways
>to attempt to explain BOB's mightiness?
I don't spend every waking hour doing this. Most of my waking hours are
spent in net surfing, eating, sex and slacking off.
>There is no point in trying to convert people by explaining Bob's
>mightiness. I don't care if Bob is mighty or if he's the shoeshine boy
>of the Gods (which he is obviously not -- he spends his time selling
>the Gods their own omnipotence -- but for the sake of argument) because
>I know that when the saucers come down I will achieve ultimate Slack and
>finally be able to spit in the eye of the conspiracy!
That's good. Trouble is, the conspiracy is *TOO STUPID* for the most
part to know we are spitting in it's eye. And when the saucers land, it
will be too late for them! It makes me laugh to think of it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Crazy Bob (Crazy_Bob@Brown.edu) wrote:
: There is no point in trying to convert people by explaining Bob's
: mightiness.
Forgive me, O Crazy One of the Sacred Name, but I must comment on your
punctuation. (Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.) The SubGenius
Pope of Houston is right when he speaks of "Bob". You speak of BOB --
the evil spirit from "Twin Peaks" -- and Bob, the hero of "Reboot" who is
probably on Tarla's home page. Any Bob without quotes is not the
important "Bob".
So, who cares? Quotes, gaensefuesschen, does it make any difference how
you spell the name of "Bob"? My son, the quotes are very revealing to
him with discernment. They speak of "Bob"'s true nature, as the Savior
in the Schroedinger Box, the Messiah who May or May Not Be There. You
have Slack, but where is "Bob"? How often does he bodily manifest
himself in your presence? Is he always behind you, never passing in
front of your field of vision until you blink? Perhaps he's hiding in
the closet?
"Bob" keeps himself well hidden ... and there's a lesson in there: that
we don't necessarily need him bodily in our lives. All we need to know
is that he exists, somewhere, preparing things for the Xist arrival in
his own explicable way. As to the rest of the Slack equation: that's all
YOUR doing. YOU create, attract, transmit, amplify, and channel the
Slack in your life. You may attribute your Slack to "Bob", and to some
extent that's true, in that things would be MUCH worse were he not
sleeping with Barbara Bush right at this moment. But more to the point,
YOU set up the Slack in your life, in a hundred different ways.
For us mere mortals, the movins and shakins of the Luck Plane are too
complicated to understand, as are the ways we subconsciously tilt it
towards ourselves. So it's more convenient just to attribute it all to
"Bob". And that is why you must never forget the quotes: they remind you
who is REALLY running the show.
For when you grow to EXPECT "Bob" to bring you Slack, on that day you are
doomed! Think about it: just because "Bob" is trying to save the
SubGenius race, doesn't mean he cares about you PERSONALLY. That's why
you can't count on him. "Bob"? May or not be there ... quotes. You?
More than likely there ... no quotes. Slack? More real than you or I ...
no quotes.
Original file name: Why God|religion?
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