The name of this newsgroup is alt.slack. We discuss slack, we hunt for
slack, we exude slack, we lack slack, we gain slack, we offer slack, we
share slack, we steal slack, we trade slack, we ARE slack.
Anything else is simply negativslack. But that's a kind of slack too.
It's a win-win situation...if you want it.
There is much to be learned about slack from Stang, from the books, from
the writings of "the hierarchy." But if some of those old guys have worn
their slack down to a tiny little nub and can't see that there are LIVE
SUBGENII here in alt.slack, I say fuck 'em and let 'em head for the
hills. The great thing about alt.slack is that it's NOT a product of the
SubGenius Foundation -- if your slack is, then it's just as fake as that
"ticket" you're holding for the Xist ships.
-Dad, who bought his ordainment in 1983, contributed to "Revelation X,"
and could care less.
--
D A D ' S N E W S L A C K S
mtownsend@interramp.com http://www.rlabs.com/dad/
tapexchange (send one, get one): PO Box 4272, Portland ME 04101 USA
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Amen, Dad! You have never spoken truer words.
That's why it's "The Book of the SubGenius", not "The Book of 'Bob'" or
"The Teachings of Stang": because this religion is ultimately about the
"followers", the SubGenii, who owe it to themselves to chart their own
courses.
Some parts of official Dobbsma are useful: for example, I've come to
conclude that Slack isn't a joke by any means, but a very real
commodity. Other than that, it's mostly language I use for interacting
with others of a mindset similarly appreciative of such concepts.
And if you're trying to cop a feel of Slack off the Hierarchy, well, I
hope you find a better path soon. Slack you get from someone else is a
mere shade of the home-grown stuff.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: fruitbat@brown.edu (Eric the Fruitbat)
The name of this newsgroup is alt.bozo. We discuss bozos, we hunt for
bozos, we exude bozos, we lack bozos, we gain bozos, we offer bozos, we
share bozos, we steal bozos, we trade bozos, we ARE bozos.
Ozob.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: fridge@jump.net (Frank Ridgway)
cuthulu@prysm.net wrote:
>build a bozo machine
>don't build a bozo machine
>
>construct a slack engine
>don't construct a slack engine
>
>launch the head
>don't launch the head
give a chin woibly
don't give a chin woibly
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: saint@prairienet.org (Andrew Matthews)
Recently, Rev. Nickie posted a response to Dad which said in part:
"For when MY GREAT CHURCH is sullied by the likes of unbelievably
cretinous DUMB-ASSES like you and Iceshit, it becomes my business. The
Very LAST Thing I would want any potential converts to even for a
split-nanosecond think is that this newsgroup is in ANY WAY
representative of "Bob's" Great and Sacred teachings. Actually, it's
pretty representative of all the things that he said can and WOULD go
HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRON-GO with The Church. This endless stupidity on
yours and others' parts has done little but attract raging hoards of
BOBBIES, and pissed off SubGeniuses all over the world."
First off, Nickeroo, when the FUCK did this become the Church of the
SubNickie? I'll simply say that I'm a little bit disgusted at how you
think you're the hottest shit since sliced bread simply because you're
dating a member of the hierarchy. I'll leave others to nod yes or no
silently in their own minds.
When you start chewing out others simply because they don't follow your
ideal of what you think is behind "Bob"'s word, you're simply acting at
the same level as programmed zombie, crying "Pink" at the first sign of
someone *gasp* disagreeing with you.
Now onto Tarlastar...
>It is my opinion that alt.slack is not so much the newsgroup of the
>Church of the SubGenius (even though Stang has stated it thusly) as it
>is the newsgroup of Subgenii.
I can see it as both... I personally see alt.slack as a public forum for
discussions with the overall viewpoint of SubGeniusdom. Non-members can
read what is discussed here and decide if the CotS is for them. If they
do, then they're probably latent Yetinsyn anyway and alt.slack is just
acting as a catalyst or the path to more information. If not, they can
go back to alt.devilbunnies or whatever.
>I have not seen the angry ravings of SubGenii across the world raging
>at the denizens of alt.slack for subverting the word of Dobbs. I
>suppose the only way one COULD would be if there were a letters column
>in the mythical Stark Fist.
I've stopped condemning people for not agreeing with my interpretation
of Dobbs' word. At that point, I realised that that was the POINT of the
whole thing, IMO, that we each take what we want from it, derive our own
personal form of slack which will differ for each person. If we were to
ever become structured and orthodox about our belief in Dobbs, then I
think that would destroy the whole purpose of the Church.
>I was a SubGenius long before I ever found this church. I will be one
>when the Church is no longer extant. The church has nothing to do with
>my being a SubGenius except to give it a name. Finding the church is
>nothing more than discovering that you are not alone. I did not so
>much "schizm" from the church as I "aligned" with it.
agreed wholeheartedly. I would even venture that there are aspects of the
Church that everyone discards as well. The reason I got involved with the
Church was because it was the only organisation that made more sense
than the others. It may not be the BEST Church all around, but it damn well
is the closest thing to my personal ideal.
>I have noted this tendency of late to demand a certain posting
>"style," a particular means of expression which is acceptable. If you
>don't write things down a certain way, then you are Pink. Well, hell,
>we're all Pink in some way, but that's not my point. My point is that
>if Sterno posts one way, and Dyna posts another, and Pete Hipwell
>posts in yet ANOTHER, where is the harm? Why is there this underlying
>current of CONformity being pushed?
Fuck, I was attracted to the word of Dobbs because it stressed not
having to conform unless it suited me. I'll walk with Dobbs so long as
he's going MY way, I won't walk with him simply because it's HIM. That,
IMO, is my "killing "Bob"".
> Are the Books of the SubGenius "sacred?" Do we seriously fall for our
>own hype? Is the Church of the SubGenius limited to those who
>contributed to the first books? Those are the only "official" writings
>that *I* know of. "Bob's" great and sacred teachings came out of the
>heads of many of the same posters who write here. If nothing more is
>to be said, then this is simply a community of SubGenii who find each
>other entertaining. If there IS more to be said, who will say it? Is
>there NO wisdom to be found here? Is there nothing which will jolt
>latents out of their monotony?
exactly. The Church of the SubGenius will continuously evolve, which I
think is one of the reasons it's the religion for me. The moment the
Church goes stagnant and declares that there is nothing more to be
discovered, that is the moment the Church dies. The books are a
framework, a template for our own personal method of Slack development.
They, IMO, should never be used as word-for-word instructions.
>I like to think that variety is a good thing. I know that my $30 love
>offering was made as the result of reading THIS newsgroup. Live people
>motivated me much more than the well written article in "The Fringes
>of Reason." I didn't send in my money because I was afraid the saucers
>would leave without me. (When they come, I expect the entire
>Sisterhood to be picked up at 6:45 a.m. so that we can get settled in
>and mellow before the rest of you yahoos tumble on board). I sent it
>in because I thought that Stang was one hell of an editor and writer.
>I sent it in because I was entertained by the words of those who wrote
>right here on alt.slack. I'd be willing to bet that there are dozens
>who can say exactly the same thing.
close. I was first exposed to Dobbsdrone in high school from reading a
text version of pamphlet #1. Then I found out that much of th music that
I listened to at the time and before (devo, negativland, talking heads)
were somehow related to this organization of disorganized people. I
started to find out more by reading the books and watching Arise. There
was no doubt in my mind, just the 3 year wait, that once I turned 18, I'd
be ordained. Due to conversations with other SubGenii before and after
that waiting period, I haven't regretted that moment in 4 years. Best
damn $20 I ever spent.
My point is this: it's kind of pointless to call someone "pink" or
a "Bobbie" or a "glorp" just because they don't fall in line with your
own personal interpretation of Church teachings. What is one Yetinsyn's
pinkness is another Yetinsyn's Slack.
[lurk mode back on... lurk lurk lurk...]
CHICAGO DEVIVAL PAGE: http://www.rlabs.com/ogyrnet/chidev96.html
$T.&REUX,KSC
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
Kid Ginsu (jch9334@is2.nyu.edu) wrote:
: Don't worry about Rev. Nickie. She's as Sub as the rest of those hideous
: SubGenius Preacher-Liars, which means that her bark is a whole lot worse
: than her bite. She's harmless. You think the world will change because
: Rev. Nickie doesn't like the way a handful of people express themselves
: in a handful of messages posted on one forgotten corner of the vast
: internet, a corner which is mostly inhabited by people who would rather
: sit staring at a computer monitor than going out to affect any real
: change? You've got another think coming. The world isn't going to be
: affected by Rev. Nickie changing her political position from 'struggling
: bobbie' to 'knowlegableer-than-thou heirarchite,' or by me complaining
: about it, or by Tarla defending her right to post messages that offend
: Rev. Nickie's SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THINGS SUBGENIUS. Believing
: thatthat kind of knowledge does anything worthwhile is stupid. It's like
: thinking studying Latin makes you think better. Studying Latin makes you
: a better Latin scholar. A misanthrope with SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE (Ill-
: gotten, in this case) is simply a BETTER MISANTHROPE.
This is cool as shit. Local chick makes good! Ginsu called me a
hierarchite, that makes it TROOO!!!
Any knowledge I posess BETTER have been ill-gotten. I'd be rather worried
about myself if the truth were otherwise.
Yes, now that I have been picked out of the mud out of the scads and
scads of women who were clamouring to fuck Will O'Dobbs for his secrets
(no, really!), I am lucky enough to indeed have been declared Superior by
the powers-that-be in the Church. You'd better watch your mouth, Ginsu,
or I'll send our very own Men-In-Black to knock down your door. Really I
will. Heh heh! I gots the power now! Maybe I'll even get you kicked out
of the Church for acting in a non-official EKS (Evil King Stang)
unapproved manner.
Yeah, I'm a big shot now. But I'd like to thank all you little people.
Without you, I'd have nobody to be better than.
You call me mad. Egomaniacal. Perhaps.....nah. I'll save that one for
when you LEAST EXPECT IT.
--
*you have been blessed by a communication from*
-----Rev. Nickie
http://www.rlabs.com/revnickie/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: blackmer@course2.harvard.edu (John Blackmer)
Andrew Matthews (saint@prairienet.org) wrote:
: First off, Nickeroo, when the FUCK did this become the Church of the
: SubNickie? I'll simply say that I'm a little bit disgusted at how you
: think you're the hottest shit since sliced bread simply because you're
: dating a member of the hierarchy. I'll leave others to nod yes or no
: silently in their own minds.
Oh NO! Miss thing is getting all "full of herself"! I better get in a
jealous snit about it!
: When you start chewing out others simply because they don't follow your
: ideal of what you think is behind "Bob"'s word, you're simply acting at
: the same level as programmed zombie, crying "Pink" at the first sign of
: someone *gasp* disagreeing with you.
Yes but SO WHAT? IS THAT A SIN? YOU ARE PINK BECAUSE I SAY SO, AND
WHEN YOU DIE YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL! HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA! And if you were a REAL MAN, you would agree with me! Nickie
is a better preacher than you, therefore she is automatically RIGHT and
automatically WINS, no matter how *filthy* her sins(tm) are! It's the revival
of trial by ordeal/combat in the modern forum! Trial by precedent MUST
DIE! Besides, you used the word "others" in a serious context, which means
you are EVIL! "Oh no, reverend nickie is posing a threat to the character
armor of others! Nurse, fetch the thorazine! Oh, no, Doktor Legume causes
others to be upset! Oh no, a mean guy! Oh no, a great furry Yeti in my living
room!" MEAN PEOPLE KICK ASS! REAL people pose a threat to the security of
others by there very STENCH, so do your bitching to your momma, and
maybe a tit will fall on you from the sky.
: I can see it as both... I personally see alt.slack as a public forum for
: discussions with the overall viewpoint of SubGeniusdom.
OH NO! It's the overall viewpoint of SubGeniusdom! Run while you still
can, before we become NeoTech! Or better yet, take up arms and CAST OUT
THE FALSE PROPHETS, you namby-pamby pantywaist buttsuckers! The TRUE
biggest problem with this newsgroup is that when someone such as
iceknife, nenslo, nickie, legume etc attempts to do some launchin',
everybody starts bitchin'! FACE IT, the goodguy badges of "nice" and
"mean" are totally irrelevant next to the TRUE chariot of "kickass" or
"lameass"! Get off your high horses, quit your armchair rationalism, take
up your SWORDS, and FOLLOW ME! The Snurgs await! Or if you're too lazy to
go to Paskastedaskotrakitchetoon, AT LEAST (no, okay chill, they're not
ready to hear that part yet, it's okay, no sense blowing people's minds
when they don't want it, they'll only retreat further, chill man, chill. Ok.)
: I've stopped condemning people for not agreeing with my interpretation
: of Dobbs' word. At that point, I realised that that was the POINT of the
: whole thing, IMO, that we each take what we want from it, derive our own
: personal form of slack which will differ for each person. If we were to
: ever become structured and orthodox about our belief in Dobbs, then I
: think that would destroy the whole purpose of the Church.
Folks, this is a very true statement, but it is used to connote its
antithesis. Notice that she has been repeating this same dogma from the
beginning, this anti-dogma dogma, and it is getting LAME AND BORING,
which does more to subvert the purpose of the church than any
antellectual lifeless theorem she may propose ad nauseam. Now who wants
to go to Canada and see some REALLY COOL SHIT in Paskasketoon?
-AGSTS DAMOCLETIAN QPM
P.S. All those who dump PINK SMARM in my sainted grammaw's newsgroup
shall be henceforth referred to as "Carla". People cannot help being
possessed by devils and bank tellers.
P.P.S. CARLA! Get the FUCK out of alt.slack, you little shit!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
TarlaStar (bmyers@ionet.net) wrote:
: It is my opinion that alt.slack is not so much the newsgroup of the
: Church of the SubGenius (even though Stang has stated it thusly) as it
: is the newsgroup of Subgenii.
Yeah man! Tear down the fascist Stangian-Church! WOOO! Long live the NEW
CHURCH! AHM WIT CHOO!
: I have not seen the angry ravings of SubGenii across the world raging
: at the denizens of alt.slack for subverting the word of Dobbs. I
: suppose the only way one COULD would be if there were a letters column
: in the mythical Stark Fist.
Mainly, those who may have a good thing to contribute take one look at
this newsgroup, and head for the hill. How do I know?? See Ginsu's
follow-up for details!
: Finding the church is nothing more than discovering that you are not alone.
"You are not alone, cause I am here with you...."
When I heard of the Church, it made me think I was alone, and that's OK!
: I have noted this tendency of late to demand a certain posting
: "style," a particular means of expression which is acceptable. If you
: don't write things down a certain way, then you are Pink. Well, hell,
: we're all Pink in some way, but that's not my point. My point is that
: if Sterno posts one way, and Dyna posts another, and Pete Hipwell
: posts in yet ANOTHER, where is the harm? Why is there this underlying
: current of CONformity being pushed?
"We're all PINK on the inside...."-some porno flick
Yes. Must post double-entendre to be popular female. Must not disapprove
of others' Pinkness as I percieve it. Must be nice to fellow SubGenii.
Must consider all who have paid $30 to be SubGenii. Must not act as if
there may be Bobbies. Must give all benefit of doubt. Must be NICE.
Church not NICE enough. Must censor own opinions to make Church more
acceptable to those easily offended.
: Are the Books of the SubGenius "sacred?" Do we seriously fall for our
: own hype?
YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YESS!!!! Death to the Defiler!
: Is the Church of the SubGenius limited to those who contributed to the
: first books?
Well, according to Ginsu, I'm a hierarchite now, and I didn't contribute
to the first books. So, basically, it consists of all of them and ME. NEENER.
: There is nothing more to be said. This is simply a community of
: "SubGenii" who find each other annoyong. If there IS more to be said,
: who will say it? There is NO wisdom to be found here. There is nothing
: which will jolt latents out of their monotony.
Yeah, well, what can you do?
: I like to think that variety is a good thing. I know that my $30 love
: offering was made as the result of reading THIS newsgroup.
: I sent it in because I was entertained by the words of those who wrote
: right here on alt.slack. I'd be willing to bet that there are dozens
: who can say exactly the same thing.
"You can make your point until you're blue in the face. It will always
become a sick and twisted parody of itself when people come out and say
the SAME DAMN THING to prove an opposite point. It will make you slap
yourself on the forehead. It is then, at this moment, when you truly
understand, and realize The Great Truth About Sales of which I have been
speaking to you."
--J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, in his lecture series THEY'LL PAY TO KNOW WHAT THEY
REALLY THINK
--
*you have been blessed by a communication from*
-----Rev. Nickie
http://www.rlabs.com/revnickie/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
Andrew Matthews (saint@prairienet.org) wrote:
: Oh, but, didn't you know? We're supposed to continually quarrel
: with each other and only acknowledge OUR OWN views of the church,
: and that everyone that doesn't agree with us is pink and should
: leave the church and seek friendship with new age deadheads.
What the FUCK do you think this Church is, some kind of democratic
fucking FAN CLUB??? The Church is ONE thing, and the members are another.
That's why our great progenitors and leaders made the distinction when
they talked about this subject. Pay fucking attention, now. If you are a
SubGenius, it will be expressed in a multitude of ways, none of them
Pink. But if you are NOT a SubGenius, you will be a half-assed Church
member, and it will be obvious to any SubGenii who know you.
We're not talking about some little clique that you have to be COOL
enough to be accepted into. We're talking GENETIC HERITAGE here.
Sometimes, I think y'all fucking forget about that. Those of you who
treat it like a fan club do so out of bitterness that you are RACIALLY
INFERIOR.
-Rev. fucking Nickie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: imber@scf.usc.edu (Aprilfish)
bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:
> I didn't send in my money because I was afraid the saucers
> would leave without me. (When they come, I expect the entire
> Sisterhood to be picked up at 6:45 a.m. so that we can get settled in
> and mellow before the rest of you yahoos tumble on board).
Don't forget to tell them they have to swing by LA on their way to the
CONvent - I'm not about to tumble in with the herd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
imber@scf.usc.edu (Aprilfish) wrote:
> Don't forget to tell them they have to swing by LA on their way to the
> CONvent - I'm not about to tumble in with the herd.
Actually, the smart thing would be to stop in Cleveland, home of
Princess Wei-R-Doe, Queen of ALL the UFOs. It's a sure thing she'll
have an "in" with the Xists. And, after having healed her (and she
weren't fake-sick like Legume were fake-dead), she owes me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Lou...I don' thin' you unnnerstan'...I have a deal with "Connie." This
bitch OWES me, plenty. If Princess Wei wants to join the Sisterhood,
then she'd be under our umbrella so to speak, but without that, she's
on her own just like every other SubG who hasn't made the effort to
get a good seat. Now I understand, she's an excellent Queen, and that
will probably go far in getting her a seat, but since Sister Aprilfish
actually IS a Little Sister, Princess Wei may end up being seated
after her. It's not fair, I know, but money talks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Let me ask you: can you *really* trust Connie? I mean, maybe it's that
male Yeti perspective, but she seems like a truly manipulative shrew ...
ALMOST to the point of resembling a Hyoo-Mon. (Cf Bambi, Nooten
Publishing) You've told us that you get your little digs and barbs in on
her on occasion ... can you REALLY be sure she's not biding her time for
one final comeuppance?
Check "RevX". Cleveland will be a spaceport ... and not because of me or
Devilacqua or even our eternally flaming waters (an Xist symbol of
yin/yang), it's because of Wei. I don't doubt the Little Sisterhood will
get on the saucers -- if y'all don't, I don't want to leave earth myself --
I merely question whether you should base your seating on Connie's good
will, or on a deal made with the Xists thousands of years ago.
And, in any event, I'm a gentleman. If need be, I'll stand up and hold
on to the big red strap and let an Uberfemme take my seat.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mitchell@interserv.com (Gary Mitchell)
While you all are bickering about who gets on the saucer first, or whether
you'll get on the saucer at all, I've spent the last several weeks making
preparations on Dobbstown Lagrange so that we can take that with us, so
that those of us who don't get into externalized hallucinations can enjoy
REAL prairie squid and hydroponic 'frop. Turned out that most of the
computer functions were running off of a gutted HP Reverse-Polish Notation
calculator from the late 70s. I tried upgrading to a bank of SPARCstations
networked in parallel, but decided that the HP only needed fresh batteries,
and kept the SPARCstations for my own use.
I don't care what happens on 7/5/98--I'm ready, and even if the Xists pull a
no-show or jerk us around I'm set to retire well and away from this ugly
booger of a planet, of which the Church of the SubGenius is but a hair caught
therein. Those of you who wish to join me can send me your reservations
and your checks for $150,000.
PS: Now that I'm back, I'll be getting back to the task of completing all my
mail. Don't worry, you'll get yours... heh heh.
P-Damned-Tired-Lil
--
Popess Lilith von Fraumench
Fools' Press * 1202 E. Pike St., #769 * Seattle, WA 98122-3934
mitchell@interserv.com * http://www.rlabs.com/utopium/
SUBGENIUS POSTCARDS--$1 for 4, $5 for 24
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jch9334@is2.nyu.edu (Kid Ginsu)
rev.nickie (nickie@superlink.net) wrote:
: Yes. Must post double-entendre to be popular female. Must not disapprove
: of others' Pinkness as I percieve it. Must be nice to fellow SubGenii.
: Must consider all who have paid $30 to be SubGenii. Must not act as if
: there may be Bobbies. Must give all benefit of doubt. Must be NICE.
: Church not NICE enough. Must censor own opinions to make Church more
: acceptable to those easily offended.
Finally you're BEING YOURSELF for once.
: Well, according to Ginsu, I'm a hierarchite now, and I didn't contribute
: to the first books. So, basically, it consists of all of them and ME. NEENER.
Ah, waitaminit, according to YOU according to me. If you want to
interpret having SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THINGS SUBGENIUS as being a
Heirarchite, wouldn't the CIA/IRS/etc qualify, too? Besides, relying on
ME to "name" or "make" you is like trusting LEGUME not to Shoot You.
Keep It Up, oh nameless faceless one,
Kid Ginsu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
: wouldn't the CIA/IRS/etc qualify, too?
Not to mention P2.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Please stop talking about "p," this is now a family Internet.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: an468404@anon.penet.fi (future Monsignor)
nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) writes:
>Kid Ginsu (jch9334@is2.nyu.edu) wrote:
>: TarlaStar (bmyers@ionet.net) wrote:
>>>> <A whole lot of stuff> <<<<
It surely must be the end of times (and maybe the end of alt.slack)
to see church icons fighting amongst themselves. What is this, early
Christianity or something? Is this some form of strange perversion
within the church? Am I supposed to get off on this (squirt, squirt)?
And whats with all the Rev. Nickie bashing. Shes only being herself
and quoting prescripture (which I think is pretty cool). The only
entertainment I get out of all this "Nickie Picky" stuff is I can count
all the kooks as they emerge from their cracks to confront her. I love
to count.
And for all those who'll want to kill me for this follow up post, you'll
have to wait in line behind psycho-chick. And besides, I'm already dead.
I got run over by some guys and their TRUKX.
Rev. Micheal
*
Have you completely forgotten your true mission.
You are under a spell which has made you forget everything. - TKK
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dlynch@cps.udayton.edu (David Lynch)
future Monsignor (an468404@anon.penet.fi) wrote:
: It surely must be the end of times (and maybe the end of alt.slack)
: to see church icons fighting amongst themselves.
It would be a indicator of the end times if the church icons started
AGREEING with each other. As far as getting off on this, you should get
off on every post on this group.
--
dlynch@udcps.cps.udayton.edu / ObIndecency: Fuck. / ObURLs:
http://www.rahul.net/ndanger/soap/soap.html
http://homepages.udayton.edu/students/lynch/tapes.htm
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
future Monsignor (an468404@anon.penet.fi) wrote:
> And whats with all the Rev. Nickie bashing. Shes only being herself
> and quoting prescripture (which I think is pretty cool). The only
> entertainment I get out of all this "Nickie Picky" stuff is I can count
> all the kooks as they emerge from their cracks to confront her. I love
> to count.
That's it. I think we're onto something. Nickie's function in the Church
-- one of them anyway -- may well be as a sort of "flypaper for kooks."
Something about her true SubGenius personality causes an "allergic
reaction," one might call it, in certain types of people. The Nickie
"meme" prompts whatever is most warped, frustrated, vindictive, cracker
and Pink in a person to come erupting to the surface... where "antibodies"
of the Church Body such as myself, for instance, or Dr. Legume or G.
Gordon Gordon, et al can identify and at least neutralize them from
spreading further into our respective spheres of influence. Nickie is a
"geiger counter" that reveals Pinkness and makes it get LOUDER AND LOUDER
the closer she gets to it. I for one do not envy Nickie in this role, but
she has certainly saved ME a hell of a lot of trouble. I can sit here at
my Analyzer and follow the patterns of the fields around her from afar,
and spot ahead of time those who may not be quite able to take the joke
when the big punchline comes down.
I'm a Rev. Nickie Deathchick fan, and I was long before she and Will got
all sweetie-cutey-pooty-tooty. On account of her WRITING, on this
NEWSGROUP. I think Rev. Nickie's REAL FUNNY, and some of you are JUST
PLAIN JEALOUS because she doesn't get REAL LIFE all mixed up with the
fucking INTERNET!!! SHEESH!! YOU PEOPLE!!!! Look to your hearts and root
out the ENVY, it's the UGLIEST vice.
Stang Has Spoken Again
FUCK the Bobbies
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
Rev. Ivan Stang (i.stang@metronet.com) wrote:
: That's it. I think we're onto something. Nickie's function in the Church
: -- one of them anyway -- may well be as a sort of "flypaper for kooks."
Ah, Cruel Fate!
The irony of this asstounds me.
What with all this "Nickie-gate",
I'll e'er wish "Bob" never found me!
If I met him, I'd truly say
"Curse you "Bob"! Just go away!"
Yet, perhaps, I should not be
So harsh to the en-pipe'd one
All you shitheads' jealousy
Makes pissing you off quite fun!
: FUCK the Bobbies
......fuck them in the ass.
Man, Rev. Stang. Thanks, I MEAN it. I needed that. And what Nenslo says
about you stinking? I'm pretty sure that's not true.
Anyway, I've talked to lots of people about this idea of "real life" vs.
"the internet". Will and I decided that it's a Catch-22. If you don't
have a life/girlfriend/porno magazine subscription, you'll
invest all of your shrivelled personality into this THING. And then,
you'll get so wrapped up in this THING, you'll make no effort to GET a
life. So I recognize that this environment is skewed towards those whose
body odor precludes them from making non-virtual friends.
And yet....I can BE FUNNY here. It's like shooting fish in a barrel,
really, except I'm using a grenade launcher. I truly, truly need a better
environment to excoriate my talents. This is good practice. I suggest
that perhaps others among you use it similarly instead of making it your
whole emotional existence. Therein lies the "slack" promised in the
newsgroup's title. I get it....do YOU??
--
*you have been blessed by a communication from*
-----Rev. Nickie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) writes:
>Anyway, I've talked to lots of people about this idea of "real life" vs.
>"the internet".
HAH! "Get a life". There is no LIFE. Everyone is DEAD; they just
HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET. The so-called REAL WORLD, for all its
enjoyable fleshiness, is JUST AS STUPID AS HERE, IF NOT MORE SO. People
still behave according to their scripts. Same fish, different
barrel. NAIVE OPTIMISM.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
SO FUCKING WHAT?? It's that "fleshiness" part that makes ALL the
difference.
-Rev. fucking Nickie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: clavis@ix.netcom.com (the Grand Clavister )
dlynch@cps.udayton.edu (David Lynch) writes:
>NEMO (jowen@alabama.com) wrote:
>
>: What do you mean her bark is worse than her bite? She SPANKS people! I
>: don't see anything about anybody else dispensing corporal punishment.
>:I've seen pictures of that Legume character brandishing a bat and hitting
>: inanimate objects with it but not humans. Frankly, I'm scared of her.
>
>You think because nobody else spanks people in public there's no other
>spanking going on?
You people don't know what the fuck you're talking about. At the NYC Mini-
Devival last year, Rev. Nickie spanked me for $5, onstage in front of dozens
of drooling, jealous Bobbies. Then, just a couple of weeks ago, Rev. Legume
gave me a royal beating with his belt, onstage in front of dozens of drooling,
jealous Bobbies. That cost me $20, and I'm typing this standing up.
So don't tell me there's no spanking in public.
the Grand Clavister
(Send me keys, you people!)
---------------------------------------------------------------
THE GRAND CLAVISTER OF NYC (AND POINTS BEYOND) NEEDS YOUR KEYS!
SEND AN SASE, $1 OR [PREFERABLY] KEYS TO FIND OUT WHY! SEND ALL
THE STUFF TO: O.L.I.N.Y.K., PO BOX 2559, GRAND CENTRAL STATION,
NEW YORK, NY 10163-2559. THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT!
"SAY FUCK FOR BABY JESUS!" - Rev. Nickie, alt.slack
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend)
jch9334@is2.nyu.edu (Kid Ginsu) wrote:
->I agree with you that Rev. Nickie is
->"only being herself and quoting prescripture." I'm not sure, can you
->discern the sarcasm of that last sentence?
Sarcasm? No. Irony maybe. Contradiction? Maybe not. She usually
doesn't so much quote Prescripture as interpret it to conform to her own
relentless brattiness. So that's still very much "being herself," right?
But like one of those wired standup comedians, the more defensive and
riled up she gets, the funnier her material. Right now she's a regular
fucking riot!
Keeping it up,
Dad
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jch9334@is2.nyu.edu (Kid Ginsu)
Aprilfish (imber@scf.usc.edu) wrote:
nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) wrote:
: > What more can I do than be myself and quote other things? There's only
: > two things I can do in life- be original or quote things from other
: > people, or rather, some sequential pattern or sequence thereof? EH?
: She's got you there.
"Mistah Speakah, I yield my time to Rev. Nickie Deathchick..."
Keep It Up,
Kid Ginsu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie)
TarlaStar (bmyers@ionet.net) wrote:
: nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) wrote:
: >Well, you see, there's a difference between spanking someone to HURT
: >them and spanking someone to either help them or make them feel good.
: >It's unfortunate that I have to point that out.
: Really? There's a difference? Golly, and all this time, I thought when
: you hit someone, you were supposed to try to hurt them. Please explain
: how this works, Nickie, how do you hit someone to make them feel good?
If you haven't been there, there's no describing it. I don't know, ASK WILL.
: You mean...it's a joke...you aren't REALLY spanking them for being
: naughty?
NO! For feeling guilty about being naughty. To relieve the guilt, so they
can be naughty guilt-free.
: So...it's all just pretend, and they pretend to be hurt and
: humiliated...well, hell, that's no fun. If I'm going to scare someone,
: I intend to SCARE them. If I'm going to give them foreplay, I don't
: usually do that in front of a roomful of strangers.
Why not?? Besides, there is no pretending involved. And we're talking
about two different things here. The Spanking Ritual is very complex.
Private spankings are another matter entirely. Wait till the video comes
out, you'll see.
-Rev. fucking Nickie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) wrote:
>If you haven't been there, there's no describing it. I don't know, ASK WILL.
Sorry Nickie, I don't really need to know. I don't hit people to make
them feel good, and if they have to be hit in order to feel good, then
I really don't want to be around them. BTW...I was lying about my kid.
I never really hit him.
>To relieve the guilt, so they can be naughty guilt-free.
But if feeling guilty is bad, then you ARE spanking them for being
naughty, but if you aren't hurting them, they aren't learning the
lesson and they will feel guilty again. You see...if you really want
to teach a lesson, you have to involve some pain. If it's just a game,
then that's another story entirely.
>Private spankings are another matter entirely. Wait till the video comes
>out, you'll see.
Well Nickie, I guess I prefer to save my foreplay for times when I can
really pay attention to it, rather than worrying about playing to the
crowd. I mean, this IS a performance, right? I don't mind two or three
people, but a roomful just detracts from the moment as far as I'm
concerned.
wishing to god there was a sarcasm font,
Reverend Mutha Tarla
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) writes:
>On 03-07-96, jimvan@gate.net wrote:
>
> > Okay, blood sacrifices it is. But we need a good THEORY to go along
> > with the sacrifices. See, back in the old days the precursors of
> > Xtianity did blood sacrifices and didn't have a coherent theology, and
> > now Xtianity's got elaborate theology and no blood sacrifices. Let's
> > COMBINE 'em. Hell, I bet you could get a LOT MORE RIGOROUS THEOLOGY
> >if it included blood sacrifices. UNIFIED FIELD THEOLOGY.
>
>Now you're talking. Looks like Pete's specialty too. You guys gang up on
>the problem. I'm going to work out a way to pull it off in Ispace.
Yeah, I think jivman's on to something there. Blood sacrifices MIGHT
WELL contribute something to a more rigorous Syntheistics (still
haven't got the damned Fashons pinned down). The staff are getting
pretty HUNGRY ever since I told 'em they HAD to live on the
MuckFood (Clear Thinking Through Rigorous Abnutrition). It'd be hard
to get past the Ethics panel, but I'm PRETTY SURE I can get a new
theory of ethics in place by suppertime.
>How about something along the lines of 'once an established old fart backs
>themselves into a dead end by refusing to be other than rationalizing and
>judgemental, we get to liberate them'?
If it was up to me, I would have spelt that LieBerate. Ah. Apparently
it is up to me. Last time round it was LieBerRation. Must be getting
into a rut. LieBerate those taking liberties. Ambitious. Disrupting
comfortable behavioural cycles. Is it theology? IS IT ART? Or is this
KILLING TIME?
The weather's changing. Can feel it in my boners.
--
Freelance Avaunt-Garde Spivontological Brit -- ANY VACANCIES?
"No authentic human life is possible without irony" -- Kierkegaard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend)
nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) just asked:
-are you saying I should leave?
I'm saying you should leave the Hexadecimal mask off and let us see the
REAL YOU.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)
petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell) wrote:
nickie@superlink.net (rev.nickie) writes:
> >!!?!?!?! Consarnit! THIS IS THE REAL ME! When are you fucking people
> >ever gonna learn that?! I am fully integrated!
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> YOUR RIVAL CULT IS A ZONPOWER SPINOFF?
>
> Fuckin'ell.
Isn't that pronounced "Fookin'ell"?
Uberfeldvebel Jim
Pronunciantion Gestapo
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