Peter Hipwell wrote:
>
> I called ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS. I retard you. Big FUCK hey me POST LOTs. I
> called ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS and I REALLY WEIRD > heh heh < I so weird I
> keep LIGHTBULBS in fridge. Not lightbulbs that go ON OFF at LEAST ASSUME
> DON'T but just plain LIGHTBULBS, not connected to anything, cept like
> LAWS OF GRAVITY. That's how weird, I, ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS, am. Also I
> keep food there and eat it at night -- with LIGHTBULBAS!!!!!
>
> ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS.
>
> That's my name. I tell you a story about that but you all STUPID
> FUGGERNUTS and COULDN'T TELL that I am the NUTTIEST FUCKNUT of ALL. I am
> SCRAPULING all the PARTS of my NEW MACHINE into a big HEEP of URIAH.
> That's a PUN I made up I FUCK YORE HED yore little CC head in slam the
> little FUCKNUTS OUT OF CONTROL and RAMPAGE yore RHINORMOUS FEOTURES into
> slam the little heads in a SPLINTER got the end of the BRAKDOON my help
> LEVERS into I, ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS, the greatest and most spectacular
> PONK ARTIST in the world, being the only PONK ARTIST there helps sum I
> suppose. Another funny joke I am on a role today forsure. It is
> irrelevant to claim that you are a being with free will when you're
> going to have to pay later! What isn't FIDDLES is FADDLES. I've snored
> away your THINK you can STOP ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS BUT HIS GOT A BODY THAT
> BULLETS BOUNCE OF special shaolin nostril exercices cause breathing my
> BACKWARDS smotch the BROKKEN LAST NIGHT I PLAYTED AN RING NOSE into the
> of a then it all went awaay again
> likeke you
> SMOGGED people I can see like TINY SMEARS ON THE WINDSHIELD OF LIFE
> little bugsplat protoplasmic intercalated unsane retrouberBLANKEtteEtte
> oubliette usherette epaulette kitchenette leatherette cigarette
> flannelette serviette pipette toilette pirouette gazette ARMADILLO
> FUCKNUTS ETTE'S LIST roulette, vinaigrette, musette, lorgnette!!!
> marionette palette vignette etiquette rosette coquette THAT LAST ONE
> SOUNDS ROOOOOD!!! i guess that's enough ette's I JUST ETTE your SPONKERS
> in the gas like WIPE AWAY DIRT AND GRIME from my filthy gravel licking
> tongue explores the texture of the pavement, salthy and rough, like a
> horny skin and I could just DELVE DEEPER and the whole city would start
> bleeding and there'd be SORE WORLD OPEN all hours.
>
> it's a POD for ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS nothing more I am INCUBATING MYSELF to
> become SPECIAL with PONK EXERCIES and shaolin dumping you will have to
> pay attention when I BRAKLOS like crackling you will roast, petty
> BOBBIESCUM you play at kill BOB you stupid like a CUDDLY SAFE LITTLE
> GAME THAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES I LOVE BOB HES MY FRIEND BUT I IGNOIRE HIM
> because, I, ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS, am far much superior in all aspects of
> worship, I am BETTER because I am into PONK and a rebel against all
> things especially rebels, a clever strategy you WORMIES won't follow
> becuase you cannot match the power of ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS and his dancing
> badgers (no more can be said on the badgers they are shy of publiccity).
> Slack cannot compete with ARMANUTFUCKDILDO, my secret identity that
> shrivels up you power to respond you sit their TREMBLE and PISSYERSEN as
> ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS kicks you imn your pissy-wissy little asses, I stamp
> on YOU, filthy-wilthy slimy-wimy little creepy-crawly FUCKY-WUCKY
> NUTSY-WUSTSIES. Spread your guts and chop, walking offal stages.
>
> Har har. ARMADILLO FUCKNUTS. I weirder than you ever was!
>
SPONGTURATE. SPONTURATE, spongTURATE!!!
My special SPONGTURATE beam-rays have killed you off and your UNHEALTHY
DOCTRINES, the evil ARMADIDDLIDO FUCKERNUTTER. I have eradicated your
Un-SANENESS with a bean of SPONGTURATIONALITY, s-mote that EYE with the
little pointy WIRES HEATER UP and a GLASS BEAD in the swiming pool loops
sram scaramBOUCHER les pringortemate the LAPPS in the SLEDGE hamAAER you
are a SICJ DEAD rot CORPSE I HATE THIS YOU BREAK LIKE A CHINA DOLL
SPLINTER AND MOIST licking FASH gront merkLASH the PLASTRoblinshin
evapORARIRKCTIL: examinantionGOR FOOR E OFG RITALIN MEDOCRTUIS you
have
no
more
PONK PONK PONK greasy dirty little WHINE I HIT BANG BANG Evaporate All
That You Did to sully this GRATE VENUE for idea communicantinoan with a
SPONGTUREATE. SPONGTURAT. SPONGTURATION that will be a growth in the
PERNICKKITY PERNOKKITY nocturation stamp the steam beas I think you
MUDDLE THE MODEL there eat me the gills were flapTUREd by the
FUGGERINGTUB sea, god, uppitty snook COKC-UP hitting DRIVE hard into
BLANK shatter CHINA DOLL teapea erect HAR sidjamming berklintiment YOU
SCREAMING ABDAB GENERATION YOU GET HIT HARD BY A HAMMER IN THE TEETH you
a gummy old man with a wispy existence in DELIRIUM TREMERENDOUS
contribution to the GROWF of LIFE in the ultimantaral
stroocturpuitatatatat hing hong hand punt the ball over the hedge I will
see as the GAUSS HPUSE becomes RIPEAT after ME there is NO PONK no
badgers and you are just a SADLY SNAPPED pent up delusive bobranted
ticketty-tacketty knife basil degutant epilode BFRHFGS ish MANG thif
THIS IS BRONG HEPP ME caught in a lLOp a skip[ and a JURMP brak into
hooks in my BRANE PULLING ME TOWARSDS i can't think THIS IS INCRESE THE
PRESSURE OF THE VENTRIALTED LAST BRENTHING HONG witches dead
epilepilobular rangostrom goon doon to WALLY DUGS jabber black
SPONGTURATE nip and half flip the bath into FLOWERS VASE rhyme time
biscuitarnivarsicaledonian ENTROPERV DAED DAED DAED MAN warping into MY
BE END DAED LEPS end you KILL AMRMADIDDLY DOODAD DILLDODADDIO HEP COOLIO
ENDIO STOPPIO rat brak thing ep lep hep skep jemp pump PUMP PUMP RUMP
STUMP evinSTRARER BRAIGNDED FECKYOW
--
remememedismemberationalessencephalotherroarrogleamitrouselephagentryagain
**** ZPK SITE PLUG: http://www.cogsci.ed.ac.uk/~petehip/ZPKIntro.html
****
remementalistonkalligatrememeiostretchinderogathermalicentichoruptamessinge
From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: STERNO WANTS TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Fri, 04 Oct 1996 22:28:50 -0500
In article <531n8b$nb0@nw101.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis
McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
> On 10-01-96, petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk wrote:
>
> peau> For I am ARMAND FILONUCKUTS the WIRDEST of ALL who will STOMPON you
<snippo>>
> Thank you, Armie. So sweet of you to visit. Too bad your big brother Ivan
> can't be like you. Always so busy working that he can't take the time.
> You're a good boy. Have a cookie.
>
NOT ONLY give AMRANDLIDO FRUNKMUTS cookie BUT ASLO give Good Prophpet JIM
do-nout WHICH IS roundelet of DOUGH fryed in depp frie oll beclaus
PRONOUNCIATSUN is better in this case thane spellinge witch it iz
speltered "do" even "though" it is pornonunciationed "dough". And of the
type: COCOLATL for the Batavaian, endorphin-analogues and co-ffeene HIGHLY
needed for slef medicataoins to keep down the demons, doncha know, oh yes
demons large, verrie larg, bite your leg, I bet. BUT NOT MY LEG, due to
aforesaid endorffeene analogies. Haw-haw, I am NOT psycho-mimetic, NO
WHITEFACE AT ALL. And NO DEMONS on the chocolately dough-nuts. No-no, nutz
crushed ONLY, bad luck for that ARNODILMOND DUFFNUMPS get HIM crunshed
straightway TOO BAD.
CRUNT -- meaned crunt, but words are HARD TO CATCH and scrimble AROUND,
try to get away, run under the sofa, COUME OUT, wordy. Ick, covered in cat
heir now.
Yes, cocolatte donut, that's the targeta. Have one.
--
Jim the Prophet
Licensed SubGenius Preacher
------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: STERNO WANTS TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 7 Oct 1996 20:12:51 GMT
Organization: InfiNet
On 10-04-96, jimvan@gate.net wrote:
jn> In article <531n8b$nb0@nw101.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis
> McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
> Thank you, Armie. So sweet of you to visit. Too bad your big brother Ivan
> can't be like you. Always so busy working that he can't take the time.
> You're a good boy. Have a cookie.
jn> NOT ONLY give AMRANDLIDO FRUNKMUTS cookie BUT ASLO give Good Prophpet
> JIM do-nout WHICH IS roundelet of DOUGH fryed in depp frie oll
> beclaus PRONOUNCIATSUN is better in this case thane spellinge witch
> it iz speltered "do" even "though" it is pornonunciationed "dough".
> And of the type: COCOLATL for the Batavaian, endorphin-analogues and
> co-ffeene HIGHLY needed for slef medicataoins to keep down the
> demons, doncha know, oh yes demons large, verrie larg, bite your leg,
> I bet. BUT NOT MY LEG, due to aforesaid endorffeene analogies.
> Haw-haw, I am NOT psycho-mimetic, NO WHITEFACE AT ALL. And NO DEMONS
> on the chocolately dough-nuts. No-no, nutz crushed ONLY, bad luck for
> that ARNODILMOND DUFFNUMPS get HIM crunshed straightway TOO BAD.
Aw, isn't that sweet. Armie has a little brother fucknut.
jn> CRUNT -- meaned crunt, but words are HARD TO CATCH and scrimble
> AROUND, try to get away, run under the sofa, COUME OUT, wordy. Ick,
> covered in cat heir now.
DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH. I haven't dusted it with D-CON yet.
jn> Yes, cocolatte donut, that's the targeta. Have one.
Why thank you Jimmy. You're a very nice boy too. Now go give your Uncle
Ivan a big kiss with your cocolattey, cat-heiry, D-CON dusty, endorfeeny,
no white-face face to show him how glad you are that he's back. But no leg
biting. Well, maybe just a little.
Ah, motherhood. I feel fulfilled.
* 2qwk! 2.03 * Never underestimate the power of the Internet, Luke.
--
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dynasor@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution
-------------------------------------------
From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Fuzzy animal bitterness
Date: Mon, 07 Oct 1996 21:31:50 -0500
Organization: CyberGate, Inc.
In article <53boet$6ae@nw101.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis
McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
> I didn't say anything, but if I was going to, that's what I would have
> meant, no matter what I said. I think I would have meant that because I
> have no idea what I was saying because I didn't say it then and I'm only
> talking about talking about it rather than saying now that I said anything
> like that before. If I'd meant what I said I would have had to say
> something before saying something about it, but that doesn't change the
> fact that I meant what I said about meaning something whether I said it or
> whether I'd only talked about saying it and would have meant it if I did.
>
> This makes sense.
>
YES! Sencse, lotz of scents, SMELLs BAD, theis kind of seudo locigal does.
Not good like doughnout for Goode Profphepet Jim whose smelter is ALL
RIHGT, all of the best, not like YOURE NOSE that smells bad, pewy. Donut
with chocococolatty on therm, dripping oozy is what maeks senzxe, NOT of
the words that go in the FUZZY places and turn around funny ways, not
funnie laugugh ways, ha-ha, but onley MAKKE UYR HED HRUT watch at them
goine like that way NOT RITE. Thats BAD. Keep words from jump and adzle
around with doughghnutt with highly refeened malto-dextrose cocococolatl
AZTEC syrop. MORE donunmts keep away BAD ARMILDRONE FURNTPUMPS, somethng
WORNG with HIM, bet YOU caught it, thats wahts the mater with YOU, why you
make words go in fizzy places, EIVL SPIRIRITS get on words there, MAKE
THEM ALL BENT, pah, spit em out. Wont swollow MY wrods, WANT DOUNUGHT
INSTAED.
--
Jim the Prophet
Licensed SubGenius Preacher
-------------------------------
From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Slack (questions, that is) <><
Date: Wed, 09 Oct 1996 00:00:09 -0500
Organization: CyberGate, Inc.
In article <3259C5E9.148F@hotmail.com>, Meredith <meredith01@hotmail.com> wrote:
> <><><><><><>NEWBIE<><>ALERT!<><><><><><><><>
>
> What exactly is this substance called slack?
You ask of the SALCK and it are good questions, all end in "?" not like
some quaestons HIDE thier true slefs, try to LEAF OF theyre "?" NOT FULE
Godo Fropephto Diego (haw-haw, seckret idenitity form REAL NMAE JIM, shh,
dont tell), BUT YOURE qeutsons have ROUND FERM "?" therefoure desservice
GOOD ANWSERS not stuppid witticismes at uyor exspenserianse. (ALTOGHUH,
will half to be purulently binominal CHARGE (positive, in this battery
case), Informatsion Hihgweigh is TOLE RHOAD, eksxept if your ROLE TOAD,
dont hlaf to payed, give you BIG DISCOUNT for wartz.)
> More importantly, can one obtain it without money?
NO! DID'TN YOU LITSEN? Want anwsers, GOT TO PAYED, dont try to weezil out.
NO GOOD if uyo don't coume up with GREEBLEE DOLLARZ. With +charge (See
note abvoe about battrey Kase -- that JOKE in Deutshch, mean electroniqual
CHEESE)(But got to have little dots uber the "a".)
> My dad used to fish a lot (now he's too old). Is the word "slack" a
> vague reference to its useage in fishing?
You heare STORY about short skinny OREINATAL monkey, WAK other littl
monkey on HED with STICH, tell litlte mankey, "That sound of ONE HAND
HITTING!" Dum story you think, becuas you do'nt knonow real DEEP DWON
MEANING, witch is ORTHANGIOLE ZEN ADOMISM. SticK is FISHIN stick. Oh yes
yes, all true. SAME fisshon used in ATMOIC BOBM. Ha ha, BLOW UP that
lillte mnokie all to ADAMS. POW! Monkeiy fur and gutz an stuff evyerwere,
but NOT BRAIMS, that ssatorie tell all abuot SLAKC. And adamaic fishong.
> (Is the acquisition of slack somehow analagous to prolonging
> one's life?)
Bet that liddtle MNONKEY not THIMK SO. Lerned GOOD LESSONE, stay away from
monkey with SITCK, wak you on the HED, blouw you ALL UP. Game OVER, Dude,
ha ha, that teckhie tlak, Jim heare lot of Greeks talk to eiach othere on
alt.salck, learn Greek-speek.
> And who
> the hell is this "Bob"? Is he the "fisherman" who will cut you some
> slack? or perhaps the game warden? Or the aminal rights activist?)
^^^^^^
HO BOY, yuo make raelly BAD spellinge mistaek, you get FALMED GOOD by
Spennilling and Granmar Nazty, she's NOT NICE. Has ruler with SHARP EGDE,
wak you lots. Ow. Hurts. Wont blow you oup thouw, not like moneky with
atnomic fishin stikk. I open koan for you with brass koan opneener: "Bob"
is not monky gets wakkid, no-no, NOR EITHER makney who whaks, nope, not
him. "Bob" is FISH. Ha-ha, big joke, rememember, was FISHON stick!
> Am I right? Would you admit it?
> Give me some good answers and I'll grace every last one of you with my
> occasional presence on your little newsgroup. I'll read some of your
> articles. and Perhaps I'll laugh. XOXO
You lauhgh not so mutch if ARMRADLILO NUCKFRUNTS catch you potsing
cupie-pie XOXO hubs and kistles. He lots more wierd than me, not like
kinldly Godde Porfphret Jim, I watsch out for you, want to help you out,
NOT LIKE THE OTHERS, but MARADILDO TUNFRUCKS, he spongturate, SPONGTURATE,
worst of others, breathe LOT of smotke from "Bob"'s pipe, make hem wuyrd.
Also he get wakked ALOT by Spelining and Grandmar Nasty, make his hede
BENT.
Proprofpet Jim tell you SCECRET of alt.salck, BEST SubGominus to get TREU
andswers from is KINDLEY UNCLE NENSLO, alwaiys wants to hlep new person,
takes TIME to eckxsplane stuff in easzy to udernstand but porfound way. OK
to XOXO huds and kimples NICE NENSLO, he like that.
Send $1 to The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214
--
Jim the Prophet
Licensed SubGenius Preacher
Original file name: Spongturate!
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