*****************************************************************
<<<<< The alt.binaries.slack FAQ >>>>>
Version 1.00 "Gold"
12 October 96
[HTMLized version also available at http://rlabs.com/sputum/dafaq.htm]
Author: SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile)
AKA S.P.(U.T.U.)M.
Unit 0 (Control)
Proclaimed by acclamation after plenary conference of a
quorum of independent S.P.(U.T.U.)M. units and after careless
^H^H^H^Hful review by selected Yeti.
This FAQ is NOT an official publication of the official
Church of the SubGenius. See the Dizclaimer in section IV.
*****************************************************************
Index
I Purpose of alt.binaries.slack
1.0) What the &^$@ is the Church of the SubGenius, anyway?
1.0a) This is a joke, right? Right?
1.1) What is alt.binaries.slack for?
1.2) What is alt.binaries.slack NOT for?
1.3) Who the F*ck appointed you Net God/Nazi/Police/etc...
1.4) Will I be flamed/exposed/reported if I post...
1.4a) binaries related to the Church of the SubGenius (CotSG)?
1.4b) binaries related to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs?
1.4c) cool executables that do wierd and Slackful things?
1.4d) binaries of my face copied by the office Xerox(R) machine?
1.4e) multiple (many) parts of the same binary?
1.4f) long diatribes about how little Slack my life has?
1.4g) SPAM?
1.3fI) What is SPAM?
1.4h) warez, or requests for warez?
1.3gI) What in the heck are warez?
1.4i) advertisements for commercial products NOT related to the
Church of the SubGenius?
1.4j) advertisements for my KEWL non-commercial website?
1.4k) "testing testing 1 2 4"?
1.5) SubGenii, I think I am committing Net Abuse. Am I?
II Our Yeti-blooded Responses to Net-Abusing Maroons
2.0) What kind of responses can I expect as a result of my stupid
online behavior on a.b.s.?
2.0a) If I don't get any response, is it safe to assume that the
denizens of alt.binaries.slack think that what I posted is
cool?
2.0b) Do you solemnly swear that you take responsibility to
ensure that every single post to a.b.s. is
kosher/cool/legit/moral/fat-free?
2.0c) So, you are saying that a.b.s. is NOT moderated, but rather
controlled by a series of positive and negative social
feedback loops?
2.1) Who do you %$#@!s think you are to oppose ME, Lord High
Poster-Child of the Macrocosmic Universe?
2.2) Who the &^%@* are you, anyway?
2.2a) Will you tell me all of your sources and methods, member
names, resources, home addresses, and credit card numbers so I
can oppose you effectively so I can keep spamming the internet
with kiddie-porn MMF warez? Please?
2.3) To whom should I complain if I think I have been treated unfairly?
2.4) Should I expect ONE CONSISTENT response to my rude and obnoxious
online behavior from *all* the denizens of alt.binaries.slack?
2.5) Whom do you *generally* just flame?
2.6) Whom do you *generally* just flame and expose?
2.7) Whom do you *generally* flame and expose and report?
2.8) Fine. I'll just remain anonymous. That'll work, right?
2.9) Can I really be kicked off my ISP for...
2.9a) being a total @$$hole?
2.9b) crossposting to large parts of the Usenet (Excessive
Crossposting [ECP])?
2.9c) posting multiple copies of the same message to individual
news groups (Excessive Multiposting [EMP])?
2.9d) posting requests for illegally copied software (warez)?
2.9e) posting non-binaries in binary groups such as a.b.s.?
2.10) Can I really be thrown in jail for...
2.10a) adding my name to a Make Money Fast pyramid scam and
uploading same?
2.10b) uploading illegally copied software (warez)?
2.10c) uploading anything RESEMBLING child pornography?
2.10d) posting threatening messages (i.e., bomb or mailbomb
threats)?
2.11) What is news.admin.net-abuse.misc?
2.12) Hey, howz come the SubG Police don't patrol alt.slack, all the
myriad other SubG-related newsgroups, and the entire state of
New Jersey?
2.13) HEY WHY DUNT YUSE GYZ CUT ME SUM SLAK? ISNT THAT WHAT BOB IS
ABOUT?
III How to help
3.0) How can I get right with "Bob" and join the Church of the
SubGenius?
3.1) Where can I find more information about how to stop spammers?
3.2) Can I join S.P.(U.T.U.)M. huh can I huh huh?
3.3) I just realized I am a maroon. How can I improve my standing in
the eyes of the internet, my girlfriend, and, most importantly,
"Bob"?
IV Dizclaimer
_____________________________________________________________________
I Purpose of alt.binaries.slack
_____________________________________________________________________
1.0) What the &^$@ is the Church of the SubGenius, anyway?
The Church of the SubGenius is the religion devoted to bringing the
world the glad tidings of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, who has said, "Give me
Slack or Kill me!". Shortly thereafter, he was killed for YOUR
Slack...and has arisen to bring all Paid-Up SubGenii to the Holy
Access Panels of the Xist alien flying saucers which are coming to
rescue those of the true-FALSE!-true ancient Yeti-blood come (sick)
X-Day, July 5th, 1998. For more details, you are referred to the *By
Dobbs* Official SubGenius Website (SubSite) at:
http://www.subgenius.com/
1.0a) This is a joke, right? Right?
No more a joke than that you consist of a quadrillion whirling quarks
spinning about in space on a speck of dirt circling a middling G-type
star which is whooshing through the n-dimensional space-time continuum
at 50,000 miles per hour on a collision course with the impending
re-collapse of the phenomenal universe in another 10^10 years or so.
The short answer is that, NO, we are not a joke...at least, not one
that your puny mind can comprehend. We believe in what we believe
MORE truly and faithfully than you can possibly believe that we
believe in what we truly and faithfully believe in believe in in.
For more on why we are NOT a joke, you are referred to ye Official
The Book of the SubGenius (Dobbs, J.R., via the SubGenius Foundation,
New York: Simon and Schuster, 1987, ISBN 0-671-63810-6), Chapter
One: "Don't Laugh".
1.1) What is alt.binaries.slack for?
alt.binaries.slack (a.b.s.) is for posting to the entire internet
community binaries related to the Church of the SubGenius and J.R.
"Bob" Dobbs, SubGenius culture, and SubGenius heritage. Period.
1.2) What is alt.binaries.slack NOT for?
Everything else.
1.3) Who the F*ck appointed you Net God/Nazi/Police/etc...
We FELT the SPIRIT of "Bob" move us, That or the Flaming Wet
Burrito I had for lunch.
"Just remember the most important feature of our friend "Bob". His
ever present grin is FULL OF TEETH !!! Be as unto "Bob" and bite these
would be slack suckers right in their ass. It's where they keep their
wallets." Rev. Edward Strange
"SHUT UP!" NENSLO
See also II 2.1 below, for further expatiation on this point.
1.4) Will I be flamed/exposed/reported if I post/upload to
alt.binaries.slack...
1.4a) binaries related to the Church of the SubGenius (CotSG)?
No.
1.4b) binaries related to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, including non-binary
ASCII art, etc.?
No. Modemac reminds you that other newsgroups in the
alt.binaries.pictures.* hierarchy may welcome your offering, as well.
1.4c) cool executables that do wierd and Slackful things?
No. You'd better have written them or have ensured that they are
bona-blanking-fide freeware or non-cracked shareware, however.
Remember, a.b.s. is *not* only for cool new Dobbsheads, as witness:
---------------------begin quote of post from Modemac------------
Newsgroups: alt.mac.games.binaries,alt.binaries.mac.games,
alt.binaries.slack
From: modemac@netcom.com (Modemac)
Message-ID: <modemacDwGwIA.H3s@netcom.com>
Subject: Re: - Operation Rescue.sea (0/2) * Operation Rescue *
Lamprey Systems (lamprey@micron.net) wrote:
/********************************************************/
PROCHOICE AND PROLIFE FORCES AGREE:
LAMPREY SYSTEMS' "OPERATION RESCUE" BITES!
/********************************************************/
Here's what's REALLY great about this newsgroup: Some people are smart
enough to post something BESIDES those endless pictures of "Bob."
"Bob's" face may look nice, but it's even better when we get more
variety, such as this!
Praise to thee, Brother Lamprey!
Remember, folks: "Bob" is the only Shurt (sic) Cut to Slack, but he's
not the ONLY path. If you've got some graphics or software (not pirated)
that gives you SLACK, then post it here! It doesn't JUST have to be
about "Bob" or the Church of the SubGenius. Remember the One Single Prime
Commandment of the Church of the SubGenius:
THE SUBGENIUS ***MUST*** HAVE **SLACK*!!!
SLACK COMES FIRST! Not "Bob," or Stang, or me, or the Church of the
SubGenius -- SLACK. SLACK! SLACK! If it GIVES YOU SLACK, then then
it's worthy of YOU -- and it's worthy of this newsgroup.
So POST YOUR SLACKFUL STUFF HERE!
--
Reverend Modemac (modemac@netcom.com)
First Online Church of "Bob" "There is no black and white."
PGP Key Fingerprint: 47 90 41 70 B4 5B 06 90 7B 38 4E 11 8A ED 80 DF
URL: http://www.tiac.net/users/modemac/
(FINGER modemac@netcom.com for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!)
-------------------------end quoted post------------------------------
1.4d) binaries of my my face copied by the office Xerox(R)
machine?
Only if you are exceptionally ugly.
1.4e) multiple (many) parts of the same binary?
Because of the way some (older, mainly Unix) machines handle binaries,
it is PREFERRED that a huge binary file be uploaded in UUENCODED (not
MIME-encoded) format in 900 or so line chunks. This can be done
automatically with most modern newsreaders by appropriate setting of
the posting preferences. Posting OBZ (one big zip) file can prevent
some Yeti from enjoying your file; on the other hand, posting 1,749
chunks of 50 lines each is the pre-eminent sign that you are a newbie
maroon who can't even figure out how many stop signs there are at a
four-way stop. Moreover, posting hundreds of small chunks MAY put you
in danger of seeming like a flooder-attacker, in which case...see
section I 1.4gI and II 2.7 below.
1.4f) long diatribes about how little Slack my life has?
Quite possibly. Take such things to alt.slack, or to your
psychiatrist. The main difference is that the denizens of alt.slack
charge a lot less.
1.4g) SPAM?
Yes. Most definitely, it is to be expected, yes, that you stand an
overwhelming high probability of being flamed into the Stone Age if
you post SPAM to a.b.s., yes. Did we say "yes" yet?
1.4gI) What is SPAM anyway?
You are referred to the official Net Abuse FAQ at:
http://www.cybernothing.org/faqs/net-abuse-faq.html
....for a definitive answer. Basically, SPAM is NOT the Hormel
Luncheon Meat product, but rather a message posted to a large number
of Usenet groups, or mailed to a large number of people. How LARGE
is large is a matter of debate; the number 20 is bandied about as
a rule of thumb. It DOES NOT matter whether this is Excessive
Crossposting (ECP), where the same message is posted all at once to
many groups, or Excessive Multiposting (EMP), where the same OR
substantially similar message is posted to many individual groups.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM...and, in fact, the latter method (EMP) actually
takes up MORE room on more servers around the world and therefore
costs more people more money. Think about it.
Those who send out junk e-mail (and, possibly, junk Spam posts) should
carefully review the relevant US Federal law against unsolicited
messages transmitted via fax/computer systems (USC 47, Section 227):
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/47/227.html
There is another kind of SPAMMER out there...the flooder. This is a
luser maroon who thinks he or she can gain fame/glory/power by posting
hundreds or even thousands of small chunks of some file to a.b.s. with
a Subject Line like "The mothers of SubGenii wear Army bootz!!!" The
response to such a vertical SPAM attack will be severe and devastating.
Does the phrase "New Superfund Site" mean anything to you?
1.4h) warez, or requests for warez?
YES! ABSO-#$@!-ING-LUTELY! The denizens of alt.binaries.slack do
not, in general, see much difference between posting of warez and
requests for same (much as, in the legal arena, the law doesn't much
distinguish between trying to hire a hitman to kill someone and
actually trying to do so yourself). Those who request warez are, in
our opinion, trafficking in illegal software, and will be subject to
the same types of response we show those stupid enough to think that
we will cut ANYONE slack (see II 2.13 below).
1.4hI) What in the heck are warez?
Illegally copied software, specifically, software that is REGISTERED
(not freeware) or cracked shareware, which is subsequently uploaded to
the Net, whether Usenet, Website, or ftp site. For more information
on how trafficking i n illegally copied software constitutes a U.S.
federal crime, and how it is also considered criminal activity by
every civilized country in the world, you are referred to the Software
Publishers Association, at:
http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm#law or (in the U.S.)
1(800) 388-7478
We of the Church of the SubGenius do NOT think that stealing the
software that some poor schmuck spent YEARS of her life coding is
"K3WL" or Slackful or a good way to "Fight the CON". In fact, we
think that such theft is EXACTLY the sort of exploitation that the CON
stands for. True Yeti pay GOOD MONEY for their Salvation from
Pinkness ($30.00, in fact...see III 3.0 below). Since more than a few
of us have actually been paid to code software in real life, more than
a few of us GET REALLY ANGRY when it is suggested that the Church of
the SubGenius and SubGenii in general should APPROVE of such illegal
and UNETHICAL behavior. As more than a few *warez-kiddies* have
already found out, we DO NOT APPROVE of warez trafficking; we will
pull out all the stops to call in the authorities, Usenet, ISP, F.B.I.
(nccs@fbi.gov), you name it, to nip such activity in the bud.
1.4i) advertisements for commercial products NOT related to the
Church of the SubGenius
Yes. Absolutely, you will be flamed for spamming if EMP/ECP, or else
for posting off-topic non-binaries in a binary NG otherwise. There
are literally hundreds of newsgroups where commercial advertizing is
tolerated, or even welcomed. Take it to the biz.* hierarchy, for
Dobbs' sake.
1.4j) advertisements for my KEWL non-commercial website?
If your site has to do with "Bob", announce it on alt.slack. If your
site does NOT have to do with "Bob", take it elsewhere. We aren't
interested.
1.4k) "testing testing 1 2 4"?
Yes. alt.binaries.slack is NOT a place to test your shiny new
newsreader. Take it to alt.test or alt.test.yer.posts, or any of the
myriad other groups with "test" in their names. Since most a.b.s.
testers are readying themselves to SPAM us, we MAY VERY WELL take
pre-emptive action.
1.5) SubGenii, I think I am committing Net Abuse. Am I?
Again, read the (far more authoritative) Net Abuse FAQ referenced
above. In general, "Use the force, Puke." If it walks like SPAM and
quacks like SPAM, it is very likely SPAM.
_____________________________________________________________________
II Our Yeti-blooded Responses to Net-Abusing Maroons
_____________________________________________________________________
2.0) What kind of responses can I expect as a result of my stupid online
behavior on a.b.s.?
If you commit Net Abuse affecting a.b.s., you can expect one of the
following responses:
1) complete silence as we reload.
2) complete silence as we wait for your post to hit our servers.
3) complete silence as we enjoy our naps.
4) complete silence as we gambol on the beach in Waikiki.
5) complete silence as we ignore your pitiful attempt at posting.
6) complete silence as we bask in the Slackful Glow of your
Awesome new homemade "Bob" ASCII art.
7) complete silence as we try to figure out how to run one of
Lou's DOS programs in a DOS Box in Windows 95, when we could
have finished hours ago if we used GeoWorks.
8) a flaming retort.
9) a flaming retort, PLUS exposure of your real ISP and/or e-mail
address.
10) a flaming retort, exposure of your real ISP, e-mail address,
PLUS your home address, phone number, and favorite carnal
position to the entire world. We found out, for example, that
one braindead warez dude who advertised himself as sexy-cool
had actually posted copiously to a certain newsgroup about
his increasing baldness. Another dude posted lovey-dovey
pukeogenic stuff to alt.cuddle. You are warned.
11) one of 8,9, and/or 10, PLUS posting of all your info to
news.admin.net-abuse.misc, so that professional SPAMMER- and
Net-Abuser-hunters can cut loose on you.
12) one or more of 8-11, PLUS reporting you to your ISP for abuse
of your terms of service or academic Acceptable Use Policy
(AUP). Most ISPs are VERY interested in curbing flagrant Net
Abuse, and will suspend or cancel accounts, and/or prosecute
offenders.
13) one or more of 8-12, PLUS reporting you to the U.S. Postal
Inspectors Service Postal Fraud hotline (jccheezum@uspis.gov).
14) one or more of 8-13, PLUS reporting you to the FTC Bureau of
Consumer Protection (dmedine@ftc.gov).
15) one or more of 8-14, PLUS reporting you to the F.B.I.
National Computer Crime Squad (nccs@fbi.gov).
16) one or more of 8-15, PLUS reporting you to the Software
Publishers Association (1 (800) 388-7478; piracy@spa.org).
17) one or more of 8-16, PLUS thinking that you are a lame, Pink
glorp merehume with no redeeming value to "Bob" who should be
left behind with all the other cattle on X-Day.
2.0a) If I don't get any response, is it safe to assume that the
denizens of alt.binaries.slack think that what I posted is
cool?
Absolutely not. See 2.0 1-5 above. We may be reloading, or asleep,
or engaging in excremeditation, or on vacation, or waiting for your
pitiful post to hit our ISP's servers, or ignoring you with extreme
prejudice.
2.0b) Do you solemnly swear that you take responsibility to
ensure that every single post to a.b.s. is
kosher/cool/legit/moral/fat-free?
No. We adamantly do not. Every post is the sole responsibility of
the respective poster. Depending on our mood and online status, SPAM
may or may not be slammed immediately. Do you feel lucky, Pink?
2.0c) So, you are saying that a.b.s. is NOT moderated, but rather
controlled by a series of positive and negative social
feedback loops?
Ding Ding Ding. Correct, for 1000. Give that Yeti some
Habafropzipulops (BotSG, page 152).
2.1) Who do you %$#@!s think you are to oppose ME, Lord High
Poster-Child of the Macrocosmic Universe?
We are the ones who can and will kick your @$$ for "Bob" if you mess
with our newsgroup. We are the denizens of alt.binaries.slack-- we
have peed on this territory, and it is ours. Are we not men? We are
YETI... Y-E-T-I!
2.2) Who the &^%@* are you, anyway?
Our official S.P.(U.T.U.)M. point of contact is the leader of STOMP
Squadron:
dynasor@infi.net-- The Punctuator of Evolution
SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile), AKA S.P.(U.T.U.)M.
Unit 4: SubGenius Tactical Online Message Poster (STOMP) Squadron
This *IS* the Public Relations Department. Got a problem?
"Go ahead -- flame. I'll just use it to light the fuse."
Any messages intended for S.P.(U.T.U.)M. Units 0-42 should be
addressed to the Honorable Doktor DynaSoar Iridium for re-transmittal
(if non-lame) or filing in /dev/null (if lame).
2.2a) Will you tell me all of your sources and methods, member
names, resources, home addresses, and credit card numbers so I
can oppose you effectively so I can keep spamming the Usenet
with kiddie-porn MMF warez? Please?
No.
2.3) To whom should I complain if I think I have been treated
unfairly?
(Chortle) What a whiner Gen-X loser you are. Get one of a) a grip
b) a clue, or c) a life. If you must whine, direct it to
S.P.(U.T.U.)M. Unit 4 at dynasor@infi.net. Then go find a tall
bridge. On your way down, reflect on the fact that DynaSoar has a long
reputation for evenhandedness and honor in newsgroup/BBS dealings
dating back to the Stone Age of Computing (the 1980s).
2.4) Should I expect ONE CONSISTENT response to my rude and obnoxious
online behavior from *all* the denizens of alt.binaries.slack?
Hardly. Each individual Yeti retains the right to respond to each
individual post as an (guess what) individual, regardless of
S.P.(U.T.U.)M. affiliation, if any. Each individual also has the
right to ignore you completely, without in so doing condoning your
behavior in the least. Deal with the chaos created by your karma,
dude.
2.5) Whom do you *generally* just flame.
Newbies who are lost. Isolated non-SPAM off-topic non-commercial,
non-MMF, non-warez posts. Testers who are not obviously warming up for
SPAM-fests.
2.6) Whom do you *generally* just flame and expose.
Obnoxious losers who expectorate off-topic posts pseudo-anonymously,
but who do not engage in MMF or warez posting.
2.7) Whom do you *generally* flame, expose, and report?
MMF posters. Warez posters. Warez requesters. Spammers. Losers who
think they can threaten Yeti with impunity. Anyone who listens to
elevator music while wearing polyester online.
2.8) Fine. I'll just remain anonymous. That'll work, right?
Wrong-o. Try it and see. Even an anon remailer service can be
forced to turn you in for, say, copyright violation (read much
alt.religion.scientology recently?). If you ran such a service (for
free, usually), what would be the point of protecting flagrant Net
Abusers? There is none. Protection of Net Abuse is only a recipe
for more *LEGISLATION* against the Internet community...which is
something we all wish to avoid.
2.9) Can I really be kicked off my ISP for...
2.9a) being a total @$$hole?
Unfortunately, not usually.
2.9b) crossposting to large parts of the Usenet (Excessive
Crossposting [ECP])?
Yes.
2.9c) posting multiple copies of the same message to individual
news groups (Excessive Multiposting [EMP])?
Yes. SPAM is SPAM.
2.9d) posting requests for illegally copied software (warez)?
Yes. You *may* get one warning, however.
2.9e) posting non-binaries in binary groups such as a.b.s.?
Possibly, especially if you persist.
2.10) Can I really be thrown in jail for...
2.10a) adding my name to a Make Money Fast pyramid scam and
uploading same?
Absolutely. This is a U.S. Federal crime under Title 18, United States
Code, Section 1302, the Postal Lottery Statute.
You are referred to the U.S. Postal Service page on this topic:
http://www.usps.gov/websites/depart/inspect/chainlet.htm
>From which we quote:
----------------------------begin quote-----------------------------
"There's at least one problem with chain letters. They're illegal if
they request money or other items of value and promise a substantial
return to the participants. Chain letters are a form of gambling, and
sending them through the mail (or delivering them in person or by
computer, but mailing money to participate) violates Title 18, United
States Code, Section 1302, the Postal Lottery Statute. (Chain letters
that ask for items of minor value, like picture postcards or recipes,
may be mailed, since such items are not things of value within the
meaning of the law.)
Recently, high-tech chain letters have begun surfacing. They may be
disseminated over the Internet, or may require the copying and mailing
of computer disks rather than paper. Regardless of what technology is
used to advance the scheme, if the mail is used at any step along the
way, it is still illegal."
----------------------------end quote-------------------------------
If you are a California resident, you are also in trouble with the state:
quote from:
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/calawquery?
codesection=pen&codebody=endless
-------------------------------begin quote---------------------------
CALIFORNIA CODES
PENAL CODE
SECTION 319-329
[snip]
327. "Every person who contrives, prepares, sets up, proposes, or
operates any endless chain is guilty of a public offense, and is
punishable by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year
or in state prison for 16 months, two, or three years.
As used in this section, an "endless chain" means any scheme for
the disposal or distribution of property whereby a participant pays a
valuable consideration for the chance to receive compensation for
introducing one or more additional persons into participation in the
scheme or for the chance to receive compensation when a person
introduced by the participant introduces a new participant.
Compensation, as used in this section, does not mean or include
payment based upon sales made to persons who are not participants in
the scheme and who are not purchasing in order to participate in the
scheme."
---------------------------end quote----------------------------------
Oh, and for you Canadians, yes, MMF pyramid schemes are illegal North
of the Border as well (our hats off to Joel for this info):
Check out the following URLs:
[French language version]
http://canada.justice.gc.ca/folio.pgi/fstats.nfo/query=pyramidale+/doc/{@1}/
hit_headings/words=4/hits_only?
[English language version]
http://canada.justice.gc.ca/folio.pgi/estats.nfo/query=[jump!3A!27c34_
000r!2Ee0055!2E1!281!29!27]/doc/{@20517}?
---------------------from whence we quote----------------------------
CONSOLIDATED STATUTES OF CANADA
C
Competition Act
PART VI OFFENCES IN RELATION TO COMPETITION
....previous
Definition of "scheme of pyramid selling"
55.1 (1) For the purposes of this section, "scheme of pyramid selling"
means a multi-level marketing plan whereby
(a) a participant in the plan gives consideration for the right to
receive compensation by reason of the recruitment into the plan of
another participant in the plan who gives consideration for the same right;
(b) a participant in the plan gives consideration, as a condition of
participating in the plan, for a specified amount of the product, other
than a specified amount of the product that is bought at the
seller's cost price for the purpose only of facilitating sales;
(c) a person knowingly supplies the product to a participant in the plan
in an amount that is commercially unreasonable; or
(d) a participant in the plan who is supplied with the product
(i) does not have a buy-back guarantee that is exercisable on reasonable
commercial terms or a right to return the product in saleable condition
on reasonable commercial terms, or
(ii) is not informed of the existence of the guarantee or right and the
manner in which it can be exercised.
Pyramid selling
(2) No person shall establish, operate, advertise or promote a scheme of
pyramid selling.
Offence and punishment
(3) Any person who contravenes subsection (2) is guilty of an offence and
liable
(a) on conviction on indictment, to a fine in the discretion of the court
or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years or to both; or
(b) on summary conviction, to a fine not exceeding twenty-five thousand
dollars or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one year or to both.
1992, c. 14, s. 1.
---------------------end quote of Canadian law----------------------------
By the way, exporting cash out of the country in response to an MMF
post may get you in hot water with the U.S. Customs Department.
Why don't you ask them at:
http://www.ustreas.gov/treasury/bureaus/customs/customs.html
Another good point of contact is the National Fraud Information Center,
"A partnership of the National Association of Attorney's General, the
Federal Trade Commission, the National Consumers' League, and Project
Phonebusters Canada":
http://www.fraud.org/
TOLL FREE NUMBER: 1-800-876-7060
From outside the U.S.: dial the U.S. country code, then 202-835-0159
Online Incident Report: http://www.fraud.org/nficmail.htm
E-mail address: nfic@internetMCI.com
Mailing Address: P O Box 65868 Washington, DC 20035
Fax Number: 202-835-0767
And, hey, are you going to DECLARE any money you receive in the mail
as income? If not, the IRS:
http://www.irs.ustreas.gov/prod/
mailto:npr@npr.gov
will know just where to look...because *you* will have given them your
address!
"D'oh!"<--You.
....and if you don't give them your address, we may. Have you ever heard
of address and phone number CD-ROMs? Or the many online phone/e-mail
directories?
We have.
This subject is not confined to the purview of SubGenii,
news.admin.net-abuse.misc, or even the Usenet. If you post MMF Spam,
you may end up forever enshrined (like a bug in amber) on Rolf's
hilarious yet DEADLY serious Anti-MMF web site:
http://www.clark.net/pub/rolf/mmf/
Rolf has also collected *many* more resources which explain how and why
MMF messages are illegal, and how you can end up IN JAIL if you propagate
MMF spew.
Addendum: Additional USPS e-mail address: customer@email.ups.gov
2.10b) uploading illegally copied software (warez)?
Absolutely. This is a U.S. Federal crime under the Copyright Act,
Title 17 of the US Code, AND under Canadian law (The Copyright Act,
R.S.C 1985, c. C-42). The penalties for distributing illegally copied
software are severe:
------quoted from http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm#law ----------
" Offenders can be subject to civil damages of as much as US$100,000
per title copied, and criminal penalties, including fines (up to
US$250,000 per work copied, CN$1,000,000) and imprisonment (up to 5
years per title copied)."
------end quote from http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm#law -------
Read all about American AND Canadian law regarding illegal software
copying and distribution at:
http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm
Recently (29 July 96), a loser who uploaded warez to his ISP's FTP
site has been slapped with a civil lawsuit by the Software Publishers
Association (SPA). Read about it at:
http://www.spa.org/piracy/releases/butler3.htm
from which we quote:
--------------begin fair-use quote of SPA press release--------------
"Contact:
Peter Beruk, Domestic Anti-Piracy, (202) 452-1600 ext. 314
(pberuk@spa.org)
Ken Wasch, President, (202) 452-1600 ext. 310
(kwasch@spa.org)
SPA Moves Against Internet Pirate; Lawsuit Is Software Industry First
Case Sends Cautionary Signal to Internet Users, Providers
(July 29, 1996 -- Washington, D.C. ) -- In the first known action of
its kind, the Software Publishers Association (SPA) has filed a civil
copyright infringement lawsuit against a Seattle area man for illegal
distribution of software on the Internet. The action, filed July 23 in
the U.S. District Court in Seattle against Max Butler, alleges that
Butler illegally uploaded copyrighted software to a file transfer
protocol (FTP) site operated by an Internet service provider (ISP),
for distribution across the Internet. The action was filed on behalf
of Cinco Networks Inc., Symantec Corp. and Traveling Software Inc.
"This action is a warning to Internet users who believe they can
infringe software copyrights without fear of exposure or penalty.
Although SPA has no desire to police all Internet users, we will
vigorously pursue blatant violations of an ISP's network operations,
and of our members' copyrights -- the type of conduct alleged in the
complaint against Mr. Butler," said Sandra Sellers, SPA vice president
of intellectual property education and enforcement.
"This action also sends a message to ISPs. SPA could have sued the ISP
for copyright infringement but chose not to in this case because of
this ISP's immediate proactive remedial action," Sellers said.
"Diligent monitoring of its FTP server and its cooperation with SPA to
stop the infringement represents the kind of good business practices
that current copyright law encourages."
----------------end partial quote of SPA press release---------------
2.10c) uploading anything RESEMBLING child pornography?
Absolutely. This is a federal crime, as well it should be.
2.10d) posting threatening messages (i.e., bomb or mailbomb
threats)?
Yes, people have been tried and convicted for sending threatening or
harassing e-mail. This could easily be applied to Usenet posts, if
the post is egregious enough. We do NOT support censorship of the
Internet; however, posting a message stating you are going to bomb
or otherwise harm someone will probably gain you a visit from your
friendly neighborhood FBI agent.
2.11) What is news.admin.net-abuse.misc?
You are referred to the news.admin.net-abuse.misc official FAQ at:
http://www.cybernothing.org/faqs/net-abuse-faq.html
-----------begin quote from news.admin.net-abuse.misc charter--------
"news.admin.net-abuse.misc is for the discussion of possible abuses of
netnews and e-mail. It is for the discussion of standards of net
abuse, to suggest appropriate courses of action (if any) to net abuse
and to post reports of alleged occurrences of net abuse...although
commercial posts are not inherently net-abuse, proper methods of
posting commercial material are within the scope of this group."
-------------------------end quote-----------------------------------
2.12) Hey, howz come the SubG Police don't patrol alt.slack, all the
myriad other SubG-related newsgroups, and the entire state of
New Jersey?
Because we don't feel like it...yet. This is not to say we haven't
been asked to take on this role. However, we feel it is not "Bob's"
will to turn alt.slack into a police state. Yet.
2.13) HEY WHY DUNT YUSE GYZ CUT ME SUM SLAK? ISNT THAT WHAT BOB IS ABOUT?
(Snarf!) Excuse me? Have you ever considered that it gives us *much
Slack* (with a capital S) to give Spammers, MMF-posters, and
warez-traders NO slack? "Bob" does not mess around. Neither do we.
Try us.
You clearly do not understand anything about Slack if you think that
"Bob" stands for leniency. At 0701 5 July 1998, look up in the sky
and tell us how much slack you think you'll get from "Bob". Better
get right with "Bob" now, Pinkboy (see III 3.0 below).
_____________________________________________________________________
III How to help
_____________________________________________________________________
3.0) How can I get right with "Bob" and join the Church of the SubGenius?
Fine question. First, pull out your wallet or check book and
send $30.00 U.S. to the Holy Post Office Box:
The SubGenius Foundation
P.O. Box 140306
Dallas, Texas 75214
United States of America
Then sit back and think about the cool SLACK PACK that will be on
its way to you from SubG Central shortly.
If you are still not sure of your SubGenius heritage, check out
the SubSite at:
http://www.subgenius.com/
then send $1.00 to the Holy Post Office Box to get a miniature SLACK PACK.
Remember: If "Bob" hasn't Whiffed your Yeti Pstench on the $$ you
send in, you are STILL Pink in his eyes, and will be DOOMED come
X-Day. Don't delay...say "Yes" to "Bob" today.
3.1) Where can I find more information about how to stop spammers?
First, learn as much as you can about how the Usenet operates.
A good starting point is the Usenet FAQ site at Indiana University:
http://scwww.ucs.indiana.edu/NetRsc/usenet.html
Next, read news.admin.net-abuse.misc for a while to get some idea
of the magnitude of the problem and the attitude of the Usenet Gods
toward spammers ("Hate the SPAM, protect the speech" is a good motto).
Next, if you have real interest in helping elevate the Usenet
by forming your own Online Hit Squad for "Bob", just jump right in and
start blasting spammers on alt.binaries.slack. You should first
familiarize yourself with the tools of the trade, which are ELEGANTLY
described at:
http://kryten.eng.monash.edu.au/gspam.html --"Get that Spammer!"
http://digital.net/~gandalf/spamfaq.html --"The Anti-Spam FAQ"
---------from which the following URLs were borrowed---------
http://www.mv.com/users/gmcgath/selfdefense.html --"Net-jitsu"
Spam cancellation notice (spam guidelines) :
http://spam.ohww.norman.ok.us/notice.htm
How to get rid of Junk Mail, Spam and Telemarketers:
http://www.csn.net/~felbel/jnkmail.html
Or why Netabuse is bad :
http://NCTUCCCA.Edu.Tw/ftp/documents/Internet/MaasInfo/Other/NetAbuse.html
(my top-level index of information about net abuse)
http://NCTUCCCA.Edu.Tw/ftp/documents/Internet/MaasInfo/Other/BadISPs.html
(information about all the Internet Service Providers that condone net
abuse by their users, as far as I know)
http://NCTUCCCA.Edu.Tw/ftp/documents/Internet/MaasInfo/Other/NetAbusers.html
(information about just a few individual abusers of the net)
And Bill's WWW page "Everything You'd Rather Not Have To Know About
Net-Abuse" :
http://www.tezcat.com/~haz1/netabuse/netabuse.html
----------------end quote of Gandalf's Anti-Spam FAQ----------------
Thereafter, strap on your newsreader (and browser), and tallyho!
3.2) Can I join S.P.(U.T.U.)M. huh can I huh huh?
Don't you get it? S.P.(U.T.U.)M. is as S.P.(U.T.U.)M. does. Some of
the best weapons in "Bob's" online arsenal are NOT part of the
official S.P.(U.T.U.)M. network. They are no less worthy of homage in
the eyes of all Right-Left!-Right-thinking SubGenii. Pull up a chair,
pour yourself a cold one, load your favorite virtual 22, and start
plinking at spammers. Make up a number above 42, create an acronym
(or not!), and join the club. There is no special membership requirement,
although one hopes you know how to read headers (see the
"Get that Spammer!" website for a detailed tutorial).
3.3) I just realized I am a maroon. How can I improve my standing in
the eyes of the internet, my girlfriend, and, most importantly,
"Bob"?
Stop spamming. Stop posting warez and warez requests. Ignore all MMF
posts...or report them. Carry on with your online existence, and
leave a.b.s. out of your headers unless and until you want to upload
cool "Bob"-related binaries. Slack vobiscum. Oh, and try to brush
your teeth more often. Sheesh.
____________________________________________________________________
IV Dizclaimer
____________________________________________________________________
This FAQ is not an official pronouncement of the Church of the
SubGenius. This FAQ was not approved by the SubGenius Foundation, and
they should not be construed as having any part in it. This FAQ was
reviewed for accuracy by the tiny men inside my head, who have nodded
sagely and stated, for the record, "Yeriodljknmbvcxwq!". Nobody
paid us squat to write this stuff...much to our chagrin. Trademarks and
copyrights remain the properties of their respective owners. This FAQ will
likely remain incomplete at all times; further enhancement of its
incompleteness is welcomed. We are definitely not lawyers (WADNL). We
may or may not be witch doctors. We are not witch lawyers (unless
they are especially fine and subject to full disclosure in chambers).
This FAQ was written using pixels containing at least 40% post-consumer
recycled electrons. No non-merehume animals were harmed in writing this
FAQ. This FAQ remains the opinion of the authors, and should
not be construed to reflect the opinions of the United States
Government, the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the U.S. Department of
Big Hair, the Department of Central Intelligence, the Department of
Peripheral Intelligence, the U.S. Department of Defense, the U.S.
Department of Energy, the U.S. Department of Executive Cheeseburgers
with all the Trimmings, the U.S. Department of Extraterrestrial
Affairs, the U.S. Department of Fish and Game, the U.S. Department of
Health and Merehume Services, the Department of the Interior, the
Department of Interior Decorators who are *sooo* Stylish, the U.S.
Department of Redundancy Department, the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force,
Marines, Murines (the Mouse-Grenadiers), Coast Guard, Border Patrol,
or Public Health Service, the Ancient Mystical Order of Illuminati,
the Ordo Templi Orientis, the Zen Patriarchate, the Millionth Council,
the Solar League, the Galactic Confederation, or the Universal
Hegemony. Best if washed with similar-colored FAQs. Not valid if
combined with any other FAQ. Void where not prohibited. Not where
void prohibited. Where not void, prohibited. Void, not where,
prohibited. Where void knot prohibitions. Nach Gebrauch
verschliessen. Gesundheit.
Copyright (C) 1996 The SubGenius Police
All rights reserved. All heads preserved.
Not necessarily officially affiliated with
the official SubGenius Foundation.
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