Subject: Ugly Shortage Poll

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Let's say Christopher Lee doesn't make it to the next Star Wars movie.

Whatever the hell living actor could take over for him now? I haven't a
clue. Not Alan Alda. Perhaps Christopher Walken, but he sounds funny
in a British accent.

This generation is totally short on uglies of the caliber of C. Lee.
I'm stumped.

Ideas?

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

iDRMRSR wrote:

>Let's say Christopher Lee doesn't make it to the next Star Wars movie.
>
>Whatever the hell living actor could take over for him now? I haven't a
>clue. Not Alan Alda. Perhaps Christopher Walken, but he sounds funny
>in a British accent.
>
>This generation is totally short on uglies of the caliber of C. Lee.
>I'm stumped.
>
>Ideas?

For starters, I don't think Christopher Lee is all that ugly! Or are you
meaning "uglies" as a pseudonym for "villains"?

And anyway, they'd replace Mr. Lee with the digital version they have
ALREADY created of him.

---

"Your body is a temple. Mine is a toxic waste dump.... but remember, the
toxic waste dumps will still be here when the last temple is ground into
dust."
-- John Warren

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

friday@fridayjones.com wrote:
>>iDRMRSR wrote:
>
>And anyway, they'd replace Mr. Lee with the digital version they have
>ALREADY created of him.

How do you know they HAVEN'T ALREADY?

From the moment I picked up your book
until I laid it down,
I was convulsed with laughter.
Some day I intend reading it.
- Groucho Marx

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Tesla Coil <tescoil@devnull.ilbbs.com>

Why settle for a digital mirage when there's living cells still
available for cloning? Imagine, decades from now, there could
be an item in the entertainment news section, "Christopher Lee,
now 36 years old, first starred in the role of Dracula in 1958."

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

"iDRMRSR" wrote :

> This generation is totally short on uglies of the caliber of C. Lee.
> I'm stumped.

I know, but there are also hotties like Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart, so
I can certainly ignore that issue.

growf.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

Alliekatt:
>>Ian McKellen

A hottie? He's, ummm, differently sexed. I saw him on Sat Nite Live
once, and he's an incredible poofter. On the other hand, it shows you
what a good actor he is to even slightly suggest that the characters he
plays are straight. He might bitch-slap the federation, though. That
would be cool. The Death Slap. Yeah.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

"iDRMRSR" wrote:
> Alliekatt wrote:
>
> >>Ian McKellen
>
> A hottie? He's, ummm, differently sexed.

Don't matter! I'm a big furry queer trapped in a woman's body. A little
genetic morph in the fantasy and presto! I still get pretend laid.

Actually, that guy who was Mr Zorg in "The Fifth Element" would do a great
job of Sith-style bitch slapping. *calmly strokes pet prairie squid on his
shoulder* *presses button on desk* "DISAPPOINTED!!!!" *Sith army of
well-groomed punk yesmen whip out dick-shaped neon purple lightsabers with
fifty different destructo-features*

Alright, Sean Connery then. Though he's getting too old for my tastes even.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

alliekatt:
>>Sean Connery

Naw, he always wears a WHITE hat. I'm with you on Zorg, though...Gary
Oldman, yeah, complete with Southern accent. He did the fucked up guy
in Hannibal, too. He's just a little short. But so was Peter Cushing.
This could work.

John Hurt (first victim in Alien) is kind of a big maybe. Saw him in
this movie White Worm where he used the phrase "aching to COME!" at a
dinner table. A bit of a wuss, though, which is where C. Lee has all
the cojones. C. Lee has no trace of swish, and he's tall, too.
Remarkable for an Englishman on both counts.

Terrence Stamp is another possibility. He was pretty evil in The Limey
and before that in Alien Nation. I don't want to hear about Bob
Hoskins, though, no sale.

Mike Myers could probably do a good C. Lee but then there's that height
problem. Wonder how John Cleese could do as an "ugly"?

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

iDRMRSR wrote:

>Wonder how John Cleese could do as an "ugly"?

I have a recording of him reading Dante's inferno, and he does all the
voices, including all the demons etc.

To my ear, all of the demons sound identically like his pirate voice
from monty python.

--

Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL ...

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

Well, then, it's settled. We have a candidate for the ELDER Jar Jar
Binks!

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Naw, he always wears a WHITE hat.

*The Avengers* aside, you mean. And *The Green Knight.*

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Have you ever seen *Richard III*? Ian McKellen does evil GOOD.

For that matter, didn't Patrick Stewart play a swishing queenie in
*Jeremy*? http://us.imdb.com/Title?0113464

Eh, evil knows no gender. For my money, Patrick Stewart would be the
FUNNIEST person to cast in a villian role in the next Star Wars movie.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, May 29, 2002 2:51 PM
Message-ID: <3cf522dc.39289332@news.cis.dfn.de>

Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

>Eh, evil knows no gender. For my money, Patrick Stewart would be the
>FUNNIEST person to cast in a villian role in the next Star Wars movie.

I say Helena Bonham Carter. She is a SCARY BITCH when she sets her
mind to it, and eminantly fuckable. Scary and fuckable is a good
combination.

English guys have lost that scary thing. The women have got it
though.

--

"There's no such thing as no PR"
- Dobbs

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Patrick MacGoohan ("Secret Agent" and
"The Prisoner")

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: "Abbess Abyss" <AbbessAbyss@cox.net>

Lynn Redgrave gives some great curled lip.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infi.net>

There's room here for a comment about Tony Blair giving up politics
and going into acting, but they're basically the same profession, so...

How about Whatsisface who played Gandalf in FOAD - I mean FOTR?
Or Whatsisface who played Dumbledore in "Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone"? Not from the grand old British horror tradition
like Lee - who, by the way, seems to be the last of the old Hammer
stars. Hmmm... We ought to be able to do *something* with Roger
Moore.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>Hmmm... We ought to be able to do *something* with Roger
>Moore.

Dress him up to look like Sean Connery!

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Paul E. Jamison wrote:

> How about Whatsisface who played Gandalf in FOAD - I mean FOTR?

Ian McKellan.

F9864DC4B6A90B0B.EEA7DC408DDCD257.354AA7940C4FD963@lp.airnews.net

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

iDRMRSR wrote:

> This generation is totally short on uglies of the caliber of C. Lee.
> I'm stumped.
> > Ideas?

John Hurt?

The guy who played Hannibal Lecter... What'shisname.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: fossil_1984@hotmail.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)

> The guy who played Hannibal Lecter... What'shisname.

Sir Anthony Hopkins.

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

> Ideas?

How about that gomer who played "Hans" in the "Die-Hard" movie?

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: "Rev Clio" <heyitsclio@attbi.com>

<<How about that gomer who played "Hans" in the "Die-Hard" movie?

ooooo.... now Alan Rickman I likes!!

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Subject: Re: Ugly Shortage Poll
From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infi.net>

Okay, in the "Die-Hard"-ish vein, how about Jeremy Irons?
Or did someone else already mention him?

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Original file name: Ugly Shortage Poll - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39