Subject: The Omega Code

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

I saw THE OMEGA CODE this morning.

Chris Lee mentioned last year when it came out that this evangelical
big budget movie was a SubGenius must-see. A DVD of it popped up among
the stuff to be auctioned at 5X-day, and I nabbed it myself for the
Archives. I'm glad I did.

It is like a Jack Chick pamphlet brought to $25 million life.

God damn Hal Lindsey fundamentalist Pink idiots get MICHAEL YORK and
CASPER VAN DIEM (!) AND MICHEL IRONSIDES (both previously in Starship
Troopers!), and EXPENSIVE COMPUTER ANIMATED "Power of God" BLUE LIGHT
BEAMS, for their Book of Revelation movie. What do we have? Hal Robins
narrating, home movies of devivals and some ripped off footage from
REAL shitty Christian films shot in Oklahoma or Taiwan. Well by gobbs
ONE OF THESE DAYS we'll catch up with those Hal Lindsey Christians. OUR
$25 million dollar movie will have a LITERAL ten headed dragon with
crowns on each head rising out of the ocean like Godzilla (or more like
Ghidrah I suppose). And HARRY DEAN STANTON!! Someday. Once I get this
giant new catalog thang done. And that Fist. You just wait.

A guy I went to high school with is in THE OMEGA CODE. William Hootkins
from Dallas. In The Omega Code he plays the Prime Minister of England
or some ruling British guy with a British vest and giant beard and
British accent. Imagine my surprise. Hootkins previously was one of the
talking manimals in ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU, the disgusting corrupt police
chief in the first BATMAN, and the fat rebel forces space pilot who
gets killed attacking the Death Star in the first STAR WARS. It was a
gas seeing Hootkins declare Michael York "a leader who was wounded,
killed, yet, has RISEN AGAIN... never before in history could it so
truthfully be said, The King is Dead, Long Live the King!" He
pontificated those lines for all he was worth.

I wish I coud hear tape recordings of the jaded Hollywood actors
sitting around at lunch, discussing the beliefs of their employers on
this project. And the incredible juvenile shittiness of the script
versus how much they're getting paid.

The bit actors and extras in the crowd scenes were pretty obviously
believers who were working for free and dressing their finest.

I understand. We will do that too if we can.

The movie ends with the most literal imaginable deus ex machina.

What kept really bothering me throughout the movie was that The
Antichrist and his henchman, while steeped in Bible prophecy, obviously
had not actually read all the way down to the end of The Book of
Revelation, Neither had the hero or anyone else in the movie except the
angels.

It was like a big budget Chick Pamphlet set in a world where no one had
ever read a Chick Pamphlet, and where everybody is Caucasian.

They cut corners on certain special effects. The two angels are
resurrected by wreaths of intelligent frop smoke and an invisible board
that's lifted up on wires. Instead of getting to see the Antichrist
cast into the Lake of Fire, which was practically promised, we only see
a standard wriaithlike demon yanking his soul off to Hell. (The soul
looks like a sparkly little rocket coming out of the Antichrist's
head.)

The ending was actually pretty confusing... we had to run the DVD back
three or four times to ascertain that, yes, JUST BEFORE the Antichrist
was about to finish his countdown and set off a terrible nuclear
weapon, the "code program was complete" and GOD HIMSELF sets off a
nuclear bomb-LOOKING thing in a picturesque spot over Jerusalem, which
bathes the whole world in blue light. And we know from previous movies
that Blue Light is Good. Had it been Red Light, that would have
indicated that the new Millenium would be pure unabated evil.

This movie ends with all reality being obliterated by the shiny blue
light and harp music of the New Millenium and, I presume, the Heavenly
New Jerusalem, a literal city floating in space, of a very specific
size (not all that huge in cubits). I had been SO hoping to see that
too but they left it to the imagination... the blue lights and harp
music is all you get. That's the punchline. The rest is up to YOUR
FAITH.

Oh incidentally, the moment that the plot starts to turn from DIREST
DOOM to "KICK THE DEVIL'S ASS" is when Casper says, "Oh God Jesus Help
Me." AT THAT EXACT INSTANT all the demons and doubts besetting him
VANISH.

I tried that myself NUMEROUS times, but it didn't work. Evidently God
only heeds the prayers of the CHISEL-JAWED.

Luckily, "BOB," if he doesn't exactly heed our prayers, at least hires
us chinless wonders.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: The Omega Code
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>

> I understand. We will do that too if we can.

the Great SubGenius Film! i see an incredibly urgent need. can i do some of
the script? i'm really good with semicolon placement.
---
i've done film scripts before! they were all shite.

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Original file name: The Omega Code review by Stang - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39