Subject: Re: Spiderman Movie Sold out 3 days straight!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

> So wait two weeks for when nobody cares about it any more. Or go to
> the video store and pay two bucks to rent something interesting or intelligent.

Some videos are both interesting AND intelligent.

However, in this newsgroup we focus on the movies that are JUST
INTERESTING, and JUST TO US. So why don't you take your "intelligent"
and shove it up Pope Black's Ass's Namesake, where it belongs, and can
be best appreciated. I have been waiting for this Spiderman movie for
almost FORTY YEARS. I WILL enjoy the HELL out of it, ESPECIALLY if I
spend $6 on it.

If I want something -- AHEM -- "intelligent," I'll download it for free
and then DESTROY my new copy of it without LOOKING at it, just to
spite the entire CONCEPT of intelligence -- which itself is responsiile
for the (entirely relative) STUPIDITY of trying to define itself, in
the first place. USING ITS OWN BRAIN, yet.

*THE RESULT?? YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT!!!*

I still have my original battered to hell copy of Spiderman Comics #1
(stupidly sold Amazing Stories #15 to a comic book dealer for $3).

But I haven't looked at it nearly as often as I have that copy of
Nugget that I swiped from my dad around the same time. Got some Dudes
and Gents too, from back then. Might even have some ANTIQUE BIG TIT
NUDIE PLAYING CARDS from that period. Would your "intelligence"
suddenly be piqued, in something on that intellectual level? EH?!?

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Subject: Re: Spiderman Movie Sold out 3 days straight!
From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of SI)

rlan538885@aol.comnobozos wrote:

> >All show SOLD OUT!
>
> And it's not all that great a movie.

I thought it was... adequate.

It would have been much better w/o all the cliches.

"NO, YOU MUST NOT TAKE THAT FORMULA! IT HASN'T BEEN FULLY TESTED!"
"YOU MUST JOIN ME! TOGETHER, WE'LL RULE!", et al.

There were more, but I'm not going to spoil. My woman enjoyed it a
lot more because she still has the ability to sit and enjoy a fucking
movie without taking it apart.

Sounds like my loss.

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Subject: Re: Spiderman Movie Sold out 3 days straight!
From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

Lupus, I loves ya, but remember:

THIS IS A COMIC BOOK MOVIE.

Comic books are where a lot of those cliches CAME FROM. Or at least, where
they gained cliche status. Take away the cliches, and it's not a comic book
any more. It's not a cliche when *Captain Marvel* says "Shazam!" That's what
Captain Marvel *says.* It's a cliche when Gomer *PYLE* says "Shazam!"
Similarly, it's not a cliche when the Green Goblin-to-be uses an untested
formula: if he wasn't the sort of person who would do that, he wouldn't *be*
the Green Goblin.

> There were more, but I'm not going to spoil. My woman enjoyed it a
> lot more because she still has the ability to sit and enjoy a fucking
> movie without taking it apart.

I have the ability to turn it off while I'm watching the movie, but it comes
back on afterwards. I can enjoy the flick, but then I can't sleep that night
wondering why they did some things when it was OBVIOUS that there was a more
logical solution.

Parenthetical aside: For instance, why didn't the zombies in "Resident Evil"
eat each *other?* I can sorta see why the zombies in "Night of the Living
Dead" didn't eat each other, or at least I can make up a plausible reason,
but the Red Queen said that the T-Virus zombies in "Resident Evil" were just
acting out of instinct, so why didn't they eat each other? And why didn't
the helldogs eat the zombies? See what I mean?

Anyway, give that a shot. Save it up for afterwards. Fun for the drive home.

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Subject: Re: Spiderman Movie Sold out 3 days straight!
From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>

Anti Pope Lupus of SI wrote:

> It would have been much better w/o all the cliches.

Which would have made it about three minutes long I bet.
Man, if I could get every hog in america to pay me for dumping garbage
into its pen I'd be making a million bucks a day too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Spiderman Movie Sold out 3 days straight!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

dyskolos wrote:
RLan538885 <rlan538885@aol.comnobozos> wrote:

> >Man, if I could get every hog in america to pay me for dumping garbage
> >into its pen I'd be making a million bucks a day too.

> I'm sure that means something. I just don't know what.

I think what Dyskolos means is, if newsgroups were PAYING hog pens,
he'd dump in enough garbage for everybody in the whole USA -- as
opposed to the relatively piddling amount he siphons to us now.

But it's hard to second guess what old Dyck-solo is really getting at
sometimes. I SUSPECT what he's trying to get at is a devilish itch way
up in the crack of his Pope Black.

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Original file name: Re- Spiderman Movie Sold out 3E - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39