Subject: Re: Movie Review: Lathe of Heaven (2002)

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Rev. magdalen@subgenius.com wrote:

> This film was in the New Releases section, but there was only one copy
> of it, so I'm assuming that after its official "newness" is over, it
> won't be making its way into the Popular section, instead going directly
> to the SciFi 9-day rental rack. But that is only because stupid Pinks
> do not know what a good movie is! They would rather have their Kangaroo
> Jack! Feh!
>
> This movie is GREAT! It is further proof, as if we needed any, that
> Ursula K LeGuin used to write some really killer stuff before she got
> all new-agey. It has James Caan and Lukas Haas, two guys with double
> a's in their last names -- what are the chances of THAT? And also, it
> has Lisa Bonet! You KNOW you were wanking to HER back in the day! Well
> now she's legal and even hotter than before!
>
> Also: JELLYFISH!! I know, I know, that's not as great as MONKEYS, but
> this is more of a serious film and monkeys just wouldn't have fit in it.
>
> Anyway, it's like a really great Twilight Zone episode, only in color
> and with great looking people in sharp clothes and a good soundtrack,
> and you should totally watch it. And I'm not just saying that because
> the hero is so dreamy, either.

I'm glad you mentioned this because I was standing in the video store
musing upon this, looking at the box, wondering if it was anything like
the older TV version that was on PBS in the late Cretaceous. Which
wasn't bad.

I was thinking it might be the kind of sf that Princess Wei might
enjoy, since it probably didn't have as many guys flying through the
air with fireballs exploding behind them as most sf does these days.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Movie Review: Lathe of Heaven (2002)
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"MRvDC" <brthrn@dangermedia.org> wrote in message
news:3E2E45D4.6030206@dangermedia.org
> Rev. Magdalen wrote:
> These are the reasons I should watch a film:
>
> 1. It's "GREAT!"
> 2. It's 'further proof' of Ursula K. LeGuin's ability to write 'really
> killer stuff' before she turned into some new-agey fruit bag.
> 3. It has 'two guys with double a's in their last names'.
> 4. It has a black chick that's cute.
> 5. JELLYFISH!
> 6. It's 'like' a 'really great' Twilight Zone episide, except in
> color. 7. Everyone in the film is 'great looking,' not just the guys
> with the double a's in their last names.
> 8. They dress nice. Too.
> 9. A good soundtrack.
>
> How 'bout this? How about I just totally go to the video store and
> rent 'Angel Heart' and watch Robert DeNiro play SATAN and get to see
> Lisa Bonet boned for real?
> Fuck this reality troll.

Okay now, calm down man. It was supposed to be funny. I know jellyfish
aren't as funny as monkeys, but I only had jellyfish to work with. The
real reason you should go see the film is because I said it was a good,
not sucky, interpretation of a story you probably already know since it
was written in the 1970's.

I really like the way the last few posts of yours really communicate
stuff, even if what you're communicating is that you think my review is
stupid.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Movie Review: Lathe of Heaven (2002)
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

MRvDC wrote:

> Actually. The real reason I'm PISSY about your film review:
>
> THE MAJESTIC: I don't remember the name of the FUCKHOLE that
> recommended this film on alt.slack, but I went out and rented it
> because of said recommendation. And IT WAS A BORING PIECE OF SHIT!
>
> BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF: Okay. I'll admit that the kung fu in this
> film was UNBELIEVABLY cool. But that's ONLY LIKE 15 FUCKING MINUTES
> of this LONG DRAWN-OUT PRETENSIOUS PIECE OF DRIPPY SHIT. DRIPPY
> DRIPPY DRIPPY SHIT! The monster desperately wanted to crawl back onto
> the reel of THE RELIC which it had originally COME FROM. But.
> ooooooh. Wait! THE FRENCH ILLUMINATI is hinted at. Perhaps this film
> has some 'hidden' messages for 'those who know'....YOU'RE A RETARD
> *COSBY*! DO YOU FUCKING *HEAR* ME!? A RETARD! I WOULD PREFER NOTHING
> BETTER THAN FOR IT TO BE *PERFECTLY* LEGAL FOR *ME* TO *PEE* *ALL
> OVER* PEOPLE LIKE *YOU*!
>
> In summation: There are folks that read alt.slack that are genuinely
> interested in what fellow members of their DOOMSDAY UFO CULT think of
> films. So. If you're going to recommend something. Give some reasons.
> *HINT* at some reasons. And BOOBIES is NO REASON to rent ANY FILM
> except for *PORN*. Some of us are on a budget.

Okay, fair enough. I would like to qualify my review by adding that I
do not think it would be a good idea for you, MRvDC, to see this movie
AT ALL. It is about a guy who has a mysterious power to control the
world, but only he can see the truth -- everyone else thinks he's crazy.
As such, speaking as your play internet doctor, I do not think this film
would be a wholesome influence on you.

Instead, I recommend that you rent and watch the 30th Anniversary
Edition of SchoolHouse Rock. Everyone should watch that. But skip the
song about multiplying by 12, that one is sure to aggravate your mind.
I know it freaked ME the hell out anyway. Waay too much acid going
around ABC studios in the seventies.

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Original file name: Re- Movie RevieEÃÅ Heaven (2002 - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39