From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
OK, kids, if you could fight one Movie/TV star, living
or dead, who would
you fight?
I pick Rosie O'Donnell.
----------
Me TOOL USER! FIVE-FINGER-MAN! Make weapons! Sharp arrow
heads! Strong
bow! Trade to beady-eyed hunter types! Chase wives while
hunter-types
gone! Make pictures on cave wall, say magic words while
wearing scary
bear skull, keep whole tribe guessing!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: SubGenius Spice <SGSpice@safe-mail.netnoise>
"Legume" wanted alt.slack to know:
>OK, kids, if you could fight one Movie/TV star,
living or dead, who would
>you fight?
mrs. beasley.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Cindy Brady.
I don't really have anything against her but I'd kick her ASS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
Legume. I saw him streak 'Kitirik's Klubhouse"
on Houston TV in 1973, so it
counts. He may kick my natural ass, but I won't let
him get away completely
unscathed, either. We may be old silverbacks now, but
we still got the Fire.
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Too bad Life has no Mute button but a .38
Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt...
Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt,
except themselves.
- Robert Anton Wilson
"Walk slower...
my Huggies are already holed up in Box Canyon."
- "Family Guy"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: dkr. Xenu v 0.3 <noway@out.com>
>>"Legume" wanted alt.slack to know:
>>
>OK, kids, if you could fight one Movie/TV star,
living or dead, who would
>you fight?
Jay Lenno can't spell his dum ass name.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>
I pick Woody Allen. Roll 5 minutes of black and white
credits in that same
damn font, 5 more minutes of his voice whinily narrating
family
relationships, first crushes, and psychosexual issues
while panning over a
nostalgic street scene and coming to rest on my fist
meeting his face, 5
seconds of me kicking his ass, pan upwards from his
broken glasses as his
disembodied soul makes some wry social commentary, cue
cheesy swing fanfare,
black and white "the end" in yet again that
same damn font,
the end.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of
SI)
"Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>
wrote in message news:<nOKv8.43050$8W5.22643@nwrddc02.gnilink.net>...
> I pick Woody Allen. Roll 5 minutes of black and
white credits in that same
> damn font, 5 more minutes of his voice whinily
narrating family
> relationships, first crushes, and psychosexual
issues while panning over a
> nostalgic street scene and coming to rest on my
fist meeting his face, 5
> seconds of me kicking his ass, pan upwards from
his broken glasses as his
> disembodied soul makes some wry social commentary,
cue cheesy swing fanfare,
> black and white "the end" in yet again
that same damn font,
Excellent. This post made my day.
:) -APLY
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: "jrweldon" <john@%enola.^net>
Mr. T
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
George Clooney. Anything to mess that pretty boy up.
Or pound some
talent into him.
I have to pick TWO. I'd also like to tear Alex Trebek
limb from limb.
He looks so damn suave, but the man's head is completely
empty. Fucker
acts like he knows the answers to those questions, too.
Like hell,
listen to the side remarks he makes sometimes, like
when he shows
surprise that Paris is in France. Dipshit.
Put me in a cage with those two, and let one survivor out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (Officer Downe)
On Thu, 18 Apr 2002 22:03:33 -0400, iDRMRSR
<alex.i.thymia@depression.org> wrote:
>I have to pick TWO. I'd also like to tear Alex
Trebek limb from limb.
>He looks so damn suave, but the man's head is completely
empty. Fucker
>acts like he knows the answers to those questions,
too. Like hell,
>listen to the side remarks he makes sometimes, like
when he shows
>surprise that Paris is in France. Dipshit.
>>Put me in a cage with those two, and let one
survivor out.
I'd bet on Treebark.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
A 20-year-old Heather Locklear in a 10 year, 200
1-hour rounds private nude wrestling match, held
in our mutually-owned $10M Malibu beachfront estate,
with a $250M purse to the winner and $100M to the
loser.
With a clause that if she doesn't want to wrestle
we can just fuck a lot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (Big "Nick"
Snotnozzle)
Mr. Green Jeans
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
The first rule of fight club thread:
If this is your first time in fight club thread, you
MUST post.
--
You know how dumb the average guy is? Well by definition,
half of them are
even dumber than that."
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: El Queso <the_cheese_23@yahoo.com>
Corey Feldman.
Queso
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: royal709@37.com (Elvis Jesus Bond)
It would have to be a fight like that boxing match in
The Magic
Christian, but I think (since I never have wanted to
hit anyone) Elton John.
Sir Reginald Dwight to you! No, wait...Paula Zahn! She's
someone
I would love to punish. Ever catch that show on CNN
in the mornings?
It's like...get up for your morning brainwash. She smiles
about
everything!
"Two kids were ripped apart by mad llamas yesterday.
Should we have
leash laws for llamas? (smile)" No, but a leash
would look good on
Paula. We follow the leash and find....Tom Green! No,
wait....can't
believe this person is President, George Bush. Hold
it....maybe he's
not a "star", but he sure is on teevee a lot...yeah....maybe
I would
love to make a few points with G. W. Bush.
"Axis of what?" Whack! "Education President?"
Whack! Whack! "Pretzel!"
Whack Whack Whack!!! "Quit spending my social security
money on your
friends!"
SPLAT
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
In article <670b6cfe.0204190940.710a8e7@posting.google.com>,
royal709@37.com
says...
>It would have to be a fight like that boxing match
in The Magic
>Christian, but I think (since I never have wanted
to hit anyone) Elton John.
>Sir Reginald Dwight to you! No, wait...Paula Zahn!
She's someone
>I would love to punish. Ever catch that show on
CNN in the mornings?
>It's like...get up for your morning brainwash. She
smiles about
>everything!
>"Two kids were ripped apart by mad llamas yesterday.
Should we have
>leash laws for llamas? (smile)" No, but a
leash would look good on
>Paula. We follow the leash and find....Tom Green!
No, wait....can't
>believe this person is President, George Bush. Hold
it....maybe he's
>not a "star", but he sure is on teevee
a lot...yeah....maybe I would
>love to make a few points with G. W. Bush.
>>"Axis of what?" Whack! "Education
President?" Whack! Whack! "Pretzel!"
>Whack Whack Whack!!! "Quit spending my social
security money on your
>friends!" SPLAT
By Dobbs, I think we have a winner: the man who can't
make up his damned mind,
but KEEPS SWINGING LIKE MAD *ANY*WAY.
SUBGENIUS!!! We have the thread's SHorDurPerSav!! DING DING DING DING!
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Too bad Life has no Mute button but a .38
Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt...
Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt,
except themselves.
- Robert Anton Wilson
"Walk slower...
my Huggies are already holed up in Box Canyon."
- "Family Guy"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>
... Don Knotts.
i'd win
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
He said "fight," not sodomize.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)
I'd wrestle Nicole Kidman or Halle Berry, but for an
all-out fight, I'd like a
chance to mess up the cast of Friends, esp. David Schwimmer
- his type just
makes me wanna puke! Do I have to fight fair? Oh, well,
never mind, then.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (Really Huge Like
Almost Inside Out Nigger Lips)
uh. huh. THa'd be mah ownself.
But I not star or nothing..
gues Ah better robs somebody or someplace and get's
caughts on
purpose. And knock the jelly doughnuts out of that fat,
useless bitch
on de sofa. Get on cops. Have that same fat drunk girlfriend
fall down
da stairs and yell: "ah'm tard of him KICKIN MAH
ASS, and he robbed
the Pik n' Puke and din' get me no goddam jelly do-NUTS"
while some
greasy little wop follow her around wid the one video
camera I ain't
stole yet.
Then ah'd feel better about kickin' mine own ass, Ah
guess. Cause by
then Ah'd be a TV star.
Not real sure though.
Who got the glue? Need some. Bad.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Fight Club Thread!
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Shelley Long, but only if Dremel tools and cuticle clippers
are
considered legal weapons. I mean, sure, I could just
bitchslap her, but
where's the gratification in *that*?
Original file name: Fight Club Thread! - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39
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