Welp, if all goes as planned, and Y2K develops into a worst-case
scenario, today will be my last day at the soon-to-be-antiquated
position of Network and Systems Engineer. Naturally, being the
apocalyptic kook that I am, I've been thinking a lot about the
significance of Y2K. And the other day, a chilling thought hit me:
I've never met a time traveler.
See, if backwards time travel were possible, it stands to reason that
the planet would be swarming with tourists from the future. And not just
disguised as Greys and ghosts, because, eventually, some future person
would expose the time travel conspiracy, and everyone, in all time
periods, would know about it, effectively instantaneously.
But it's just not to be, and now I know why: Y2K.
Every advanced civilization in the universe eventually gets to the point
we're at right now. They muddle along for a few thousand years, then
their technology reaches a critical point where breakthroughs happen on
a five-yearly, then annually, monthly, daily, hourly basis.
Furthermore, the each advance is backwards-compatible with the previous
one, and integrated into the greater system. This is the mechanism that
allows a relatively simple problem like date-sensitivity to be passed
down through each iteration of the "next big thing."
So here we are, in the same position all other civilizations have
reached. Standing on the brink of a Clarkian "technology
indistinguishable from magic," yet staring into the void. In two days,
we, like everyone else, will be knocked back to the Stone Age, and
start the process all over again.
This, my friends, is what befell the great civilizations before us:
Maya, Carcosa, Arcadia, Mu, Atlantis, all the way down to the Yeti, the
Great Lizards, and the Elder Things. Furthermore, this is the fate that
awaits the societies of the future -- Humans^2, the Horseclans, the
Cockroaches, etc.
Their fates have been sealed by the natural progression of technology,
which is preprogrammed to self-destruct at a critical, natural point.
I use the term "natural" literally, mind you. This meltdown point is
nature's -- reality's -- self-defense mechanism to guard /against/
these very space-time rapists. The very act of time travel would play
hell with the fabric of reality. Somebody would eventually cause an
insufferable paradox Way Back When, which, in turn, would cause the act
itself never to have happened, and rend the fabric of space-time
asunder. The universe would simply pop out of existence.
In effect, the impending Y2K "disaster" is a /good/ thing, because it
prevents our descendants from erasing themselves, us, and our ancestors,
either by accident or by design.
So, when the lights go out tomorrow night, rest assured, it simply
nature's way of preserving itself and, by extension, us. I, for one,
will be thankful that this safety mechanism exists in the first place
-- without it, there would never have been a "first place."
Happy New Year.
-Doktor Armand Geddyn, Evil Scientist
The Ministry of Truth
http://www.minitru.org
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
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Subject: Re: Y2K-48 hours and counting --> Any Last Words?
From: Bubba <Bubba@leavenwrth.gov>
You sure got a purdy mouth
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