NEW(5-24-00):

Log of the post-Amsterdam SubG IRC chat

Wei's Last Snapshots

Hear the HOUR OF SLACK "AMSTERDAM SHOWS" (shows # 730 and 731) NOW in RealAudio -- excellent examples both of SubGenius live stage devivals AND of SubGenius radio

"BEST OF" THE AMSTERDAM SUBGENIUS FIELD TRIP PHOTOS

TEXT FIELD REPORTS FROM SUBGENIUS ANTHROPOLOGISTS, AND SUBSEQUENT FALLOUT ON ALT.SLACK

When the Field Trip explorers returned to the States, England, or Canada, and started posting their brags and thoughts about the trip on alt.slack, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE! Some of the SubGenii who couldn't or wouldn't go were somehow EXTREMELY IRRITATED by the slackified, emotionally-bonded, possibly brain damaged attitudes of those who did. The various "report" threads turned into the kind of encounter-group primal scream therapy that makes alt.slack so enjoyable to lurkers and other emotional voyeurs. This collection starts off with the easy-going stuff, but the hate-glandulars build up as it progresses.

Onansterdam DokStok Report v1.0
What doesn't kill me makes me Släcker! from Pope Black
1st Amster-After-Action from Nu-Monet
How the Pope Saved the Duke
"Hallucinating like an Oilslide" -- exact transcription of the guide book
AmsterDAAAAAMN!!! (they start getting pissed off here)
MAGDALEN'S SEXXXY AMSTERDAM REPORT AND GOSSIP COLUMN (here it becomes downright INFLAMED)
Subject: I remember when... (now it gets PERSONAL)
Subject: ALL BLUE-MEANIE-HEAD-ASSES: RELAX!( now it gets REALLY personal)
Nenslo on Boredom: HERE'S HOW IT WORKS
So how was Amsterdam?
Madgalen: I AM a GEEK, you guys
Amsterdam Flu Diagnosis

Final Amsterdam SubGenius News Report

GERMANY BARS POPE BLACK FROM WORK!!! SLACK MACHT FRIE!!!!!
Subject: Alt.Slack Sure Has Improved since Stang Left

Some of the crazed, fanatical reports of the 23 SubGenii who underwent this so-called "Field Trip"were (and are still being) filed in SubSITE's one live Bulletin Board -- we were able to post to it while in Amsterdam, so you can vicariously relive all the soaring transcendence and low gutter-snuffling along with us.
In case that's not working on your old outdated browser, or if the original posts have sunk deep under a mire of new ones, here's a copy of the Amsterdam Bulletin Board frozen in time, just after the trip.

NEW:
"BEST OF" THE AMSTERDAM SUBGENIUS FIELD TRIP PHOTOS
Fanatics, or those who went, can access ALL the photos below. But herein we have creamed the crop from the crap, culling the cucky but keeping the keen. This particular gallery offers NO EXPLANATIONS for what we hope are suitably surreal images for your jaded eyeball-palate. NOTE: they sell pornography and naked humans openly in some parts of Holland, so you might not want to view this travelog with your kids on your lap -- unless you want to try explaining SubGenius DOBBS-APPROVED Behavior Patterns to 'em.

There are FUNNY CAPTIONS, however, in this special drug-porn-Rembrandt-oriented photo spread & story:

SELECTED AMSTERDAMIAN NON-DEVIVAL ART and SUBGENIUS DEGENERACY PHOTOS

and in

SELECTED DEVIVAL PHOTOS w/ CAPTIONS

or, for those who were there and want to see EVERY possible picture of themselves, THE COMPLETE, UNEDITED AMSTERDAM PHOTOS (these pics, plus many many more... but SANS CAPTIONS)

From Rev. Ivan Stang's post from the Amsterdam Hotel computer to the SubSITE Bulletin Board:

"WE LIVE IN A POLICE STATE BACK HOME!!!!! I WANT TO STAY HERE!!! The buildings themselves are stoned here -- drunken, dancing buildings that look like they're Photoshopped! 300 years of slow uneven tilting, looks just like the Distort/Twist filter at 30 %. I stood where Peter the Great got drunk and pissed off the Mayor of Amsterdam, in 1750! I even got to meet the Dalai Lama in the Van Gogh Museum, and he KNEW WHO "BOB" IS -- AND PRAISED HIM!!

"Even the HOTEL MUZAK is Hendrix tunes. In the BARS on EVERY CORNER they sell, CHEAP, every imaginable kind of habafropzipulops in the entire UNIVERSE that ANYONE could EVER POSSIBLY WANT -- AND marijuana as well!! Yet the COP that is about to come up behind you and TERRORIZE you, NEVER SHOWS UP! You even stop WORRYING about him! This has to be HEAVEN, or a RIDE, the Froplandia ride in UtopiaLand. There were ALREADY Dobbsheads in all the COOLEST "cafe shops", and STERNO was already here TOO!! That lyin' bastard. There's even a BOB'S HOSTEL Home for Slackless Children here! We've been all up and down the NieweZidjs Voorburgwal, the red light area, the GREY AREA, and we even interviewed with the King Madman Street Ranting Coma Survivor, Visionary, St. Jeroen Van Braam. The only place they DON'T speak English is MCDONALDS. (So it's just like the US in that respect.)

"That Holland is the ONLY place like this, is PROOF of the Conspiracy. It should be the other way around -- everywhere ELSE should be like Amsterdam, and there should only be ONE WEIRD CITY that remains like the rest of the world is now -- I.E., FROPLESS and SLACKLESS. Next we're gonna steal the head of Prince William from Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum and ransom it to the Queen for more of THEM KIND PILS BOD!! And I DID stuff the rag doll BACK up my butt, just like Sterno said!! ROK ON! "H'SELLEK!" NEE SLECHT!"
Rev. Illya Van Staangj <stang@subgenius.com>
Amsterdam, USA - Wednesday, March 29, 2000 at 12:16:15 (EST)

With the help of famed weirdo artist Rev. Willem DeRidder, several of us got a chance to preach, simultaneously but separately, on two different Dutch "pirate" radio stations: RADIO 100 1 and DFM, as well as webcast Dutch underground cable TV!

SPECIAL THANKS TO NU-MONET

"I TOOK THE THIRD HALF! I LED POPE BLACK! I HAVE "H'SELLECK"! I SPANKED POPE BLACK'S ASS WITH AN ENTIRE '57 CHEVY! I SMOKED THE GREYS OUT OF THE GREY AREA..." (pipe runs out) -- The Onansterdam Brag

HOW YOU CAN DO IT NEXT YEAR: Jesus's original preflight instructional/motivational site