BrainWipe Flush-Out & Clean-Up
If you're reading this, we feel sorry for you.

Installation was successful.




Maintain composure in front of co-workers.

Back to the FIST

CREDITS DUE: The BrainWipe was inspired by a throw-away gag in Rev. Groovy G's Dobbzine, SO WHAT?, an excellent rag for when there's no STARK FIST. Write for info: PO Box 378, Richmond, VA 23203

The akashic ftp (used throughout this website) is a discovery of Rev. Ganglia's and was featured in a weird short story of his before anybody knew it was REAL.
The E-Z Quick-Implant BrainWipe
The E-Z Quick-Implant BrainWipe

Stage 1

Prepare for auric 'augmentation.' Set User Brain resonating at the same frequency as the 'akashic ftp portal'. This will flood new information into your consciousness. May be accompanied by numbing sensations of tingling static.

Dobbs' Mouth Center the cursor on "Bob's" mouth.

PUT YOUR FACE RIGHT UP TO THE SCREEN with the cursor between your lips and "Bob's".

KISS "BOB" NOW and CLICK AS YOU KISS.

ERROR:

ERROR:

downloaded 'surprise' demon astral virus sigil decompression mines

DO YOU WANT TO PIERCE THE VEIL ANYWAY?

(Okay Okay) (Cancel Cancel)

((OK to ANSWERS)) ((CANCEL)) to Answers.

Back to document index

Original file name: Error

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v. LEAVING SO SOON?

LEAVING SO SOON?





Do you really want to shun the embrace of Dobbs and return to your drab, dreary Conspiracy-controlled "normal" world?" To be DUMPED FOREVER from this ONE WEBSITE that MIGHT have held the TRUTH??



Do you really want to EXIT?
I pinked out. I just can't handle it.



or rather

to EXIST?
Hell, I'm no pathetic mewling mere-human pinkboy coward. I've changed my mind. I'll go for it after all.



MEMORY SCANNED: FATAL USER ERROR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR FATAL USER ERROR SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY SCAN USER MEMORY MEMORY SCANNED: FATAL USER ERROR

FATAL SYSTEM HARDWARE ERROR!






ALL FILES DELETED. HARD DRIVE ERASED.


















FOOLED YA!

Listen, we went EASY on you this time. We really COULD have crashed your system. We HAVE the technology. In Dobbs' great Mercy, he is giving you ONE LAST CHANCE at redemption.



"Thank you for the reprieve! Dobbs is indeed merciful! I'll go on into the FIST!"

"GO TO HELL YOU BASTARDS!!!"

ESCAPE SUCCESSFUL

ESCAPE SUCCESSFUL












You have "fallen" off-line. You are back in "normal" time zone.






THIS ENTIRE WEB SESSION HAS ACTUALLY TAKEN ONLY APPROXIMATELY 20 SECONDS IN OBJECTIVE HUMAN "REAL" TIME.




INCOMING NONAUTHORIZED AKASHIC FTP INTRUSION

: NonInitiate spurious crunts bumped your OGs off balance so bad you're going to have to log off and
: doí+/-ü#ûùû
: It's starting already. QUICK -- perform Heavy Brain Chakras before the whole shithouse blows.
: (Murder of crunts that makes a Dobbshead if you print it out and squint at it %<CUT>%.)
: >ooops.
: >BRAIN FART! You have swallowed a bad meme.
Psychic storm front entering the net! Break out the Ronco Neuron
Tenderizers! Calibrate your brains for the head count.
: Yer in for it now man. YER *IN* *FOR* *IT* *NOW*.
: Your Orange Grains are WAY heavy on the old side. WE CAN FEEL IT THROUGH
: THE 'NET EVEN.
That's the problem with pstenching up the place with well placed brain
farts. Oxomodic trailer buggies roll past several stations before they plant
their seeds firmly in the porta-brains.
But it feels REAL GOOD.

CREDITS

EXIT DELETE EXIT "BOB"

ESCAPE

LOCAL SERVER NOT RESPONDING

LOCAL SERVER NOT RESPONDING








All systems shut down.






Losing power in all sections of city.



CITY UNDER ATTACK!



That flash -- MY EYES ARE MELTI