Since midnight, 1600 people looked at SubSITE by SEVEN O'CLOCK THIS EVENING! I'll bet it's twice that by midnight.
I knew SOMETHING was going on. I've been adding a new Art Mines tunnel and SUNSite seemed to be running slowly, and Jesus says we've been getting a GOOD FLURRY OF ORDERS by email, fax and 1-8886-69-2323!! BIG orders, like $50, $100 orders for Dobbs swag!
AND THANKS MOST OF ALL TO MIKE E, WHO MADE IT ALL POSSIBLE!!
That WIRED article is HILARIOUS!!! Mark Fraunfelter did a GREAT job. (He told me this whole episode reminded him of "the old days of the Church".) Reading the article, and then following the links to the SPUTUM WEBSITE, and knowing that all this had doubled our sales this week, ahhhh.... now that's true Slack. The kind of thing that keeps an old Scribe scribin'!
I HAD NOT SEEM THE SPUTUM WEBSITE!!! I've probably put a LINK to it from SubSITE but I had not even seen the damned thing! LOVELY layout. The way the artwork is represented by thumbnails is EXACTLY how the art mines at SubSITE should look, but I barely have time to upload and create the bare links. (Take a look at Art Mines Tunnel #10... the Fernandinande pages alone are much bigger than most websites. I believe I uploaded 45 megs of pure Dobbsgraphics this week, 75% of it Fernandinande's.) There's a HELL of a lot of art at the SPUTUM site that I never saw on a.b.s.... sigh... and wouldn't you know it, my subscribing to Zippo apparently BROKE it! BUT I'm sure they'll get their act together. My big dream is to once again, someday, make some art myself. I am SO ENVIOUS.
Sterno was here between Austin visits, and I forced him to look at what his fellow arteests were doing, and who knows, MAY have convinced him to try a.b.s. He HAS been very busy on alt.fan.keanu.reeves. (But that's for another WIRED article.) He will bitch and gripe about his local server, just like I did, but I hope he starts posting stuff.
I'm not finished with gallery10.html yet, really... hope to get it into better shape by late tonight.
There is a lot of email stacked up from you alt.binaries.slakfux, which I haven't answered, because I've been in and out of town so much, and trying to get caught up in SORTING and INSTALLING all the EVIL WORK you sent.
This weekend the Dallas Corporate Sold Out Clench (me, Jesus, someone else) go to Austin for the SURVIVAL RESEARCH LABS show. Yep, the real thing. We're staying with Paco Nathan of Fringeware, the show promoter, so we'll be getting a behind-the-scenes look at this insane event. Paco is scared shitless. He says these SRL people are crazy. He said to bring GAS MASKS and gun range style ear plugs. G. Gordon Gordon will be with us for security. The mystery man Puzzling Evidence is supposedly on his way. It is rumored that Dobbs himself has been seen in Austin lately!! (And HELL we can always FAKE it for photo ops, and/or black ops, with the Joe Riley FullHead Dobbshead Rubber Mask!)
OMENS AND PORTENTS, friends. I talked to Diana of SRL today and she's very excited. For one thing, the SRL show is on GOOD FRIDAY -- and WE'RE bringing JESUS CHRIST with us! The comet Hale Bobb... all the planets are lining up, pointing towards... THE END TIMES...
Paco wants to see The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer launched with the rail-gun cannon. He's the guy who footed the bill for this thing, so... COULD BE!.
If my teenage KIDS had ANY CLUE as to what a COOL TIME THEY COULD HAVE if they didn't mind being SEEN with us old fogeys... oh well. I ain't gonna buy their $30 membership for 'em either.
Speaking of which -- ya'll need to start thinking about THE X-DAY DRILL!! I know rural NY is a bit far to drive for some of you... but I'm telling you, it's worth it.
From: fridayNOSPAM@cybercom.net (Irreverend Friday Jones)
To: slack@metronet.com, i.stang@metronet.com
Subject: Things to Do and Humans to Kill at the X-Day Drill
Organization: House of Slack
Newsgroups: alt.slack
(as compiled from Sunday Nite Devival IRC)
"My parents went to the X-Day Drill and all I got was this lousy chip at
the base of my skull."
Last time there were too many suckers of the Tit, and not enough Tits -
THIS SHALL BE REMEDIED!
Flaming DEATH from HALE-"BOB" to the NORMALS!
PITCH THAT LOAF... FOR "Bob."
Call DOBBS UPON them and they shall BUY
their own destruction.
Defeat the Conspiracy. Become the Conspiracy. FUCK the Conspiracy.
We
shall pound our FLESH one upon the other and it will be SWEET SWEET MUSIC
unto "BOB"!
Black Heliopter Shuttle Service from the nearest airport to the Drill site
Friday Night Masquerade and Keg Party
LIVE YETI BIRTHS in the swimming pool! The waters shall run pink with
amniotic fluid!
More CLUBS and BLUNT INSTRUMENTS
The stage and the audience will be DESTROYED and there will BE NO DIFFERENCE
SubGenius Wet T-Shirt Contest; Wet Boxer Contest; Wet Hair Contest
Best Headlauncher
Cooking contests & moon-calf cook-off - Special Award for Most Creative
Use of Winking Lizard Sauce
Competitive drug taking
The earth will open up and swallow all attendees. And it shall zip us back
up too.
Shoggoth smooching
FIFO buffer overflow surfing
Abstract Fucking - fuck the color blue, the moon, the smell of a daisy
Tatooing...without electricity!
Cow chip chucking & upchucking
Alien Calling Circles - Small clans of Bobbies chanting to summon
aliens... then ...
CORRECTIONAL PHRENOLOGY
No-squares Dancing - "Swing yer lingam, do-si-do, spank yer monkey, let it
flow!"
Melon speed spitting
Psycho-bestial copronecrophilia
Appearances by Circus Apocalypse, Circus of Doktor Lao
Nine-hole game of Head Golf - heck, any SubGenius gal worth a damn has at
LEAST nine holes!!
Nude polka & polking. Strip polka
Psychic Condom Bursting
Virgin Neuron Deflowering
Body Painting
BAD JOKES
Pissing for distance...and volume!
23 hour dance marathons on hot coals (24th hour goes straight into "Bob"'s
pocket)
Snake Dance with REAL SNAKES - SHAKE YER TRIBULATIONS, I SAID SHAKE YER
TRIBULATIONS
All that can be fucked, shall be fucked, until only the unfuckable
remains. And then we'll fuck IT
Origami dick folding
MASS PEEING and Synchronized Spoojing
Competitive stigmata
All who attend will bear a part of "Bob" and assemble him and BRING HIM TO LIFE!
Breast peeling contest
Frop-judging contest - Who can get the most frapped up then actually DO
SHIT afterwards?
Pagan sacrifice - sacrifice a pagan to "Bob"!
Obstacle course race under 'Frop - obstacles are Legume with his bat!
Freehand cattle mutilation contest
Climb on top of the pavilion's roof and sling decapitated chickens at the gods.
Long-distance eyeball popping. Winner gets to eat the loser's eyes.
Mud wrestling, oil wrestlingling, pudding wrestling, Pudd'n wrestling,
beefaroni wrasslin, Nude Oil Philosophy Wrestling
Jesus Skeeter shooting match
"Bob" Head Hunt. "Bob" head is hidden on grounds, people must find. All
contestants are BLINDFOLDED and required to be NUDE. Watchers write
obscene words on their flesh with markers.
Bone marrow stump-fucking
*** PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN SUGGESTIONS. FOR LO, IT IS WRITTEN THAT ALL THAT
IS WRITTEN, THERE SHALL BE THE ONE WHO IS SO FULL OF STUPIDITY THAT IT
SHALL BE DONE, AND "BOB" SHALL BE PLEASED ***
**********************
THANKS, FRIDAY!!
death to vermin
I HAVE THE GREY HAND
Original file name: A.B.S.WIRED/X-DayDrill
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