From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
In article <335ff60d.10717775@news.unlimited.net>, crazycurt@odyline.com wrote:
> Anyone planning to head to Dallas in July '98? I figure the
> saucer stuff is bullshit, but if I know SubGenii there's gonna be a
> HELL of a party! Has anyone heard anything?
If you hear about some kind of a SubGenius party or something on July 5th
be sure and let us know. Unfortunately, this year we all have to go to
Sherman, New York for a bunch of really boring Church business meetings and
seminars.
Oh, yeah, that saucer stuff? Sure. That's all bullshit. Just a FUNNY JOKE.
Just a way for Dobbs to get $30 out of people. That's all. You don't NEED
that MEMBERSHIP CARD or anything.
!!!!
And ya'll wonder why I get impatient sometimes. "The saucer stuff is
bullshit..." HMMPHH!!! And I suppose that saucer stuff was "bullshit" to
those 39 Heaven's Gaters! Shheeeesh.
Show some respect for our religion, man!
--
Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <hHVYzcEblVyM092yn@YGRI.net>, dynasor@en.com wrote:
>
> I've been dropping hints that the Real Thing should be in Dallas, but
> His Aging Scribeness seems to be really attached to Brushwood. I'm kind
> of torn myself.
>
Well, they don't have a CURFEW, at Brushwood, for one thing. You can play
the music at top volume ALL NIGHT LONG and there are NO COPS besides the
Legume's S.L.A.K. squad and SPUTUM.
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
>
> You ARE kidding? NO FUCKING WAY should Brushwood be X-Day central.
> It's always been Dallas in my mind and by Dobbs, that's where we'd
> be...if we weren't getting the early pick-up call, I mean.
>
YOU PEOPLE WANT TO DO THIS in a god damn HOTEL, like a SCI FI CON??!?!?
I'll tell you WHAT sirmaam. at 7 am July 5 98 I plan to be under the OPEN
SKY with a PURPLE CLOTH DRAPED OVER MY FACE and brand new Nikes. Well, I
dunno, maybe Rebok. Maybe a gold cloth? Whatever.
Tarla, you know how mercilessly hot it is here in July.
Another thing: There are a lot more SubGenii in that part of the country,
due mainly to the radio show, I guess, or else maybe it's just that the
preachers sound funnier to yankees.
Naked babes and even men are a necessary ingredient for a proper SubGenius
cult shindig, as well. And gigantic cannisters of Church Air, 20 stories
tall. And FIRE. Large burning things. Screams, gunshots, model rockets,
fireworks, whiskey bottles flying through the air, REAL LOUD ELECTRIC
GUITARS. TONS OF DRUGS like BEER and that weird Yeagermeister stuff that
Legume and Bleepo and Sterno and them are always glagging.Frop clouds you
can cut with a chainsaw. YOU know.
You want the swimming pool? Brushwood has a pool. Has real nice showers. A
nice little town 10 minutes away where you can get anything you need.
No TV. No computers.
AHHH!!!! NOW I think I see where the REAL problem is.
It's The X Files isn't it. ISN'T IT. You don't want to miss the X-Files.
Action: Stang throws up his hands in resignation and disgust.
Action: Tarla throws up.
Yuk yuk, jes' kiddin' hon. But sneeriously though. A sci fi con in a hotel
is what you'll get in Dallas.
Look, we SCOPED OUT the WACO facility last week... NOTHIN' there but a row
of burnt toilets and a stack of bricks. We can't do it THERE. Dealy Plaza
would be the other logical place but BELIEVE ME -- the Dallas cops are not
going to be happy with the abovementioned party happening downtown at the
crack of dawn.
Although I can see how ... if you COULDN'T travel to New York... hmmm.
Well, if you do, videotape it so I can watch it on the Escape Vessels
later.
--
Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <5jtdre$cpj$2@grouper.exis.net>, angela@sailfish.exis.net
(Sophia Anifantakis) wrote:
>
> I guess in Ivan's next book he'll have to find a way to weave in some
> story about how the saucers found out mid way here that their muffler was
> falling off and had to return back home.
I don't get it. Why would I want to do that?
--
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <friday-2604971425330001@mfd-dial3-10.cybercom.net>,
friday@cybercom.net (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
>
> My brothers, my sisters, my fellows in thingness -
> What's this about an X-Day Central? Central meeting point is ON THE
> SAUCERS - your point of origin don't mean fish after THAT.
> Every SubGenius should do as s/he/it feels like doing - partying alone in
> the orgone chamber, nude in the dew at Brushwood, dancing in the hot sands
> of Dallas - what does it matter? THE SAUCERS ARE COMING!
>
THAT'S RIGHT, FRIDAY!!
You people? Miss Friday Jones is a GOOD SubGenius.
It's true that the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS at that moment will be that you
have your SubGenius Minister's Membership Card in hour hot little hand.
Don't matter where you are, if you're asleep or awake.
Judging from the Drills, most of you WILL be passed out. We could learn
something from that Heaven's Gate bunch. THEY understood DISCIPLINE.
And besides, since MOST SubGeniuses aren't going to be ABLE to go ANYPLACE
special, I would imagine that there would be various "LOCAL SAUCER
LANDINGS" or whathaveyou. Maybe SubGenii in each city-state should start
thinking about hosting such things. The L.A. X-Day. The New Orleans X-Day.
The Chicago X-Day. etc. Mustn't forget the Bumfuck, Egypt X-Day.
The problem is, HOSTING things is a SLACKLESS JOB. It's WORK, and X-Day is
our main religious holiday!
So we need lots of YOUNG, EAGER, TOTALLY INEXPERIENCED SUBGENII to find
places to hold these gatherings and "host" them. Because nobody OLD, JADED
and EXPERIENCED, in his RIGHT MIND, would do such a thing... Stang said,
hypocritically, having just committed to hosting at least two more huge
ones.
--
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <5jtp3i$934@snews2.zippo.com>, dflync01@homer.louisville.edu wrote:
>
> I think the old coot's got a point. Dallas is too fucking HOT in July.
> I'd like my last days on earth to be COMFORTABLE, at least.
It is, it's hell, unless you're indoors, and indoors is expensive, and NO,
there will NOT be a big X-Day party in MY house, NO WAY!!!!
Such things used to happen a lot. Once we had I think 14 guests sleeping in
our old house on Victor, the nights of the First World SubCon, 1981. My DAD
happened to come by in the morning -- opened the door, and there in a
sleeping bag on my floor was a BLACK MAN and a WHITE GIRL!! HIPPIES! And
the whole place was full of them. One of them was tENTATIVELY, a
cONVENIENCE, who was totally weird looking long before tattoos, piercing
and weird baldheadedness was ultra trendy. Yep, them was lean years back
then, but the SubDeemies BELIEVED in something back then. Back when I was a
Zombie... things were different.
Speaking of Janor, I guess along with the X-Day shows I should do an All
Janor Hour of Slack. There's some pretty cosmic stuff on his cable access
videos. Also he recorded a new song called MY GRILFRIENDS CAR, a
Springsteen take-off... it REALLY sounds AWFUL.
Now THERE'S a worthy goal for some industrious SubGenius. RAISE MONEY TO
GET STERNO AND JANOR TO THE X-DAY DRILL. What would a plane ticket be...
$300 or so if you got a good deal. Think of it. TOLD THE JUDGE performed by
the original Fart Dog Explosion (Drs. 4 "Bob," Wotan and Corpses).
Has anybody heard from PHILO lately? That sumbitch... his email NEVER
WORKS. I guess I could PHONE. Huh. I FORGOT about that device... the phone.
I'll have to try using that thing again someday. I remember it was fun
sometimes.
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From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <PIoYzcEblpqI092yn@YGRI.net>, dynasor@en.com wrote:
> !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) sent bitwaves which read:
> }
> }DynaSoar@YGRI.net (Doktor DynaSoar) wrote:
> }
>
> Maybe we'd better just get started setting it up and invite him later?
>
Yep. AFRAID THEY'LL MISS THE X-FILES, that's it!!!
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From: truwe@mind.net
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> The problem is, HOSTING things is a SLACKLESS JOB. It's WORK, and X-Day is
> our main religious holiday!
>
> So we need lots of YOUNG, EAGER, TOTALLY INEXPERIENCED SUBGENII to find
> places to hold these gatherings and "host" them. Because nobody OLD, JADED
> and EXPERIENCED, in his RIGHT MIND, would do such a thing... Stang said,
> hypocritically, having just committed to hosting at least two more huge
> ones.
On 5th July, 1998, I plan to be sitting on my roof with a cooler full of
soft drinks. You're all welcome to join me. It's a pretty steep roof,
though.
Annnnnnna
--
<truwe@mind.net> | Ben, Shelley, Matie and/or Anna | If you are |
named Earl or have a friend named Earl, email me for your prize.|
Nineteen on the Earl Count | Come to alt.slack.devo. Aw, please?
I had a REALLY GOOD quote to put here, but forgot it completely.|
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From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
angela@sailfish.exis.net (Sophia Anifantakis) wrote:
>David F Lynch (dflync01@homer.louisville.edu) wrote:
>: Doktor DynaSoar (DynaSoar@YGRI.net) wrote:
>: :
>: : I've been dropping hints that the Real Thing should be in Dallas, but
>: : His Aging Scribeness seems to be really attached to Brushwood. I'm kind
>: : of torn myself.
>: I think the old coot's got a point. Dallas is too fucking HOT in July.
>: I'd like my last days on earth to be COMFORTABLE, at least.
>Yea, it really is...And besides that they have those huge tarantulas
>there roaming around.
Oh fer goddsakes people...Dallas is a BIG CITY. It has air
conditioning and almost NO tarantulas in town.
Frankly, I'd like MY last days to be in a place where there's more
than one flush toilet.
Tarla
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
NOTE: Brushwood has at least 9 flush toilets.
Original file name: Re- Dallas '98?
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