Subject: Weird Interpretation 0f Usama From a Friend

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 11:25 AM
Message-ID: <tTnq7.2456$Hx1.225855@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

"Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net> wrote in message
news:3BA9FC06.79E4D84@pacbell.net...
> > I've heard a lot of people say that the WTC was
> > "an act of war." Wrong, wrong, wrong. Pearl Harbor was an act of war. It
was
> > aimed at our war machine and we had a land mass to shoot back at. We
don't
> > have that now. This was an act of anarchy and destruction. I've heard
people
> > saying that bin laden is the Hitler of our era. I wish. Hitler is a
reality
> > - we know how to deal with a Hitler.
>
> > Bin Laden is something out of a bad
> > dream. He's Ernst Blofeld. He's Doctor Doom. We are faced for the first
> > time, not with a rogue superpower, not with a megalomaniac despot, but
with
> > a supervillain. With someone who can spread around some money, whisper
some
> > crazed ideologies into the right ears, and sacrifice a dozen of his own
> > minions to wipe out 5,000 innocent civilians. My true fear is, like a
> > supervillain, the moment you defeat him someone far worse will step out
from
> > the shadows. But if there's any comfort to be taken by the reality we
know,
> > we can at least be reasonably sure that that won't be his clone.
>
> Supervillain. Nice.

I only WISH he was a supervillain. Because you *can't* have supervillains
without superheroes. It's just not possible. In the words of Jubal Harshaw
(who for some reason you remind me of, by the way, don't ask me why,) I
*refuse to entertain any other possibility.* Ernst Stavro Blofeld calls
forth James Bond to oppose him. Doctor Doom must have his nemesis, Reed
Richards, or he cannot exist.

While the world is full of heroes, I don't know that we have any
superheroes. (Save "Bob" - see below.) Therefore, Osama bomb-Laden CANNOT be
a supervillain. Or, if he is, he contains the seeds of his own undoing,
because he will create, like a virtual photon separating into a particle
pair, a superhero to oppose him. And superheroes *always* defeat
supervillains. That's another one of those universal rules, not subject to
debate, nope nope nope, I can't *hear* you, LA LALALALALA!

Anyway, the problem is all we have is regular ol' villains like Islamic
Jihad and Exxon-Mobil and France and stuff like that which contain a lot of
regular people all doing something, which, on an individual level, makes
sense, but on a systemic level, is fucking insane. Superheroes don't do well
against mindless Conspiracies. That's why we have "Bob," the mindless
superhero. He IS our only hope!

St. Marc
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Weird Interpretation 0f Usama From a Friend
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 2:54 PM
Message-ID: <3baa39a1.4461113@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

"St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org> hunched
over a computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
<disciple@templeoferis.org> laughed madly, then wrote:

>
>"Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net> wrote in message
>news:3BA9FC06.79E4D84@pacbell.net...
>> > I've heard a lot of people say that the WTC was
>> > "an act of war." Wrong, wrong, wrong. Pearl Harbor was an act of war. It
>was
>> > aimed at our war machine and we had a land mass to shoot back at. We
>don't
>> > have that now. This was an act of anarchy and destruction. I've heard
>people
>> > saying that bin laden is the Hitler of our era. I wish. Hitler is a
>reality
>> > - we know how to deal with a Hitler.
>>
>> > Bin Laden is something out of a bad
>> > dream. He's Ernst Blofeld. He's Doctor Doom. We are faced for the first
>> > time, not with a rogue superpower, not with a megalomaniac despot, but
>with
>> > a supervillain. With someone who can spread around some money, whisper
>some
>> > crazed ideologies into the right ears, and sacrifice a dozen of his own
>> > minions to wipe out 5,000 innocent civilians. My true fear is, like a
>> > supervillain, the moment you defeat him someone far worse will step out
>from
>> > the shadows. But if there's any comfort to be taken by the reality we
>know,
>> > we can at least be reasonably sure that that won't be his clone.
>>
>> Supervillain. Nice.
>
>I only WISH he was a supervillain. Because you *can't* have supervillains
>without superheroes. It's just not possible. In the words of Jubal Harshaw
>(who for some reason you remind me of, by the way, don't ask me why,) I
>*refuse to entertain any other possibility.* Ernst Stavro Blofeld calls
>forth James Bond to oppose him. Doctor Doom must have his nemesis, Reed
>Richards, or he cannot exist.
>
>While the world is full of heroes, I don't know that we have any
>superheroes. (Save "Bob" - see below.) Therefore, Osama bomb-Laden CANNOT be
>a supervillain. Or, if he is, he contains the seeds of his own undoing,
>because he will create, like a virtual photon separating into a particle
>pair, a superhero to oppose him. And superheroes *always* defeat
>supervillains. That's another one of those universal rules, not subject to
>debate, nope nope nope, I can't *hear* you, LA LALALALALA!
>
>Anyway, the problem is all we have is regular ol' villains like Islamic
>Jihad and Exxon-Mobil and France and stuff like that which contain a lot of
>regular people all doing something, which, on an individual level, makes
>sense, but on a systemic level, is fucking insane. Superheroes don't do well
>against mindless Conspiracies. That's why we have "Bob," the mindless
>superhero. He IS our only hope!

Of COURSE there are superheroes! There are many. In fact I think
it's time to reveal to you that -I- am a secret superhero. In fact I
have many superhero guises, to go with my many superpowers. I am

GAZOR! I have the superhuman ability to gaze at a computer screen for
hours on end while rarely blinking. No computer dares stand against
my mighty and implacable gaze!

FLAMOR! My verbal attacks and cunning usenet taunts can easily CRUSH
the ego of even the mightiest foe! Enter my thread and BEWARE,
evil-doer!

Now if we could just get Osama posting to usenet he'd be FUCKED.

I haven't got one of those full-body spandex outfits like the cool
superheroes have though. I guess the upscale superheroes must cut
back on pizza and stuff.

Oh I almost forgot, I am also

PHOTOSHOPPOR! I tear my opponents HEAD from his BODY and put it on
another BODY!

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"If the barking of a dog disturbs your meditation, it is simplest to
shoot the dog, and think no more about it."
-Aleister Crowley

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Weird Interpretation 0f Usama From a Friend
From: SubGenius Spice <spice@cotse.compost>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 3:21 PM
Message-ID: <v2gkqt89o0g7d9gau9ft2o33l30hf1rul3@4ax.com>

"alt.slack", featuring Joe Cosby...Take 90...ACTION!...

[whack]

well, if suppose i should admit my superhero power...

I AM PLONKOR!

mastress of the almighty kill-file.

"cry BORING! and let slip the dogs of plonk".

--
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Weird Interpretation 0f Usama From a Friend
From: jim.vandewalker@verizon.net (Jim Vandewalker)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 5:53 PM
Message-ID: <jim.vandewalker-ya023080002009011753360001@news.newsguy.com>

In article <3BA9FC06.79E4D84@pacbell.net>, Boddhisatva Troutwaxer
<tungtung@pacbell.net> wrote:
{
{ > Bin Laden is something out of a bad
{ > dream. He's Ernst Blofeld. He's Doctor Doom. We are faced for the first
{ > time, not with a rogue superpower, not with a megalomaniac despot, but with
{ > a supervillain. With someone who can spread around some money, whisper some
{ > crazed ideologies into the right ears, and sacrifice a dozen of his own
{ > minions to wipe out 5,000 innocent civilians. My true fear is, like a
{ > supervillain, the moment you defeat him someone far worse will step out from
{ > the shadows. But if there's any comfort to be taken by the reality we know,
{ > we can at least be reasonably sure that that won't be his clone.
{
{ Supervillain. Nice.

Unfortunately his clone IS ready to step out of the shadows:

http://www.janes.com/security/international_security/news/fr/fr010919_1_n.shtml

Israel's military intelligence service, Aman, suspects that Iraq is
the state that sponsored the suicide attacks on the New York Trade Center
and the Pentagon in Washington. Directing the mission, Aman officers
believe, were two of the world's foremost terrorist masterminds: the
Lebanese Imad Mughniyeh, head of the special overseas operations for
Hizbullah, and the Egyptian Dr Ayman Al Zawahiri, senior member of Al-Qaeda
and possible successor of the ailing Osama Bin Laden.

[...]

"We've only got scraps of information, not the full picture," admits one
intelligence source, "but it was good enough for us to send a warning six
weeks ago to our allies that an unprecedented massive terror attack was
expected. One of our indications suggested that Imad Mughniyeh met with
some of his dormant agents on secret trips to Germany. We believe that the
operational brains behind the New-York attack were Mughniyeh and Zawahiri,
who were probably financed and got some logistical support from the Iraqi
Intelligence Service (SSO)."

[...]

'A psychopath'

"Bin Laden is a schoolboy in comparison with Mughniyeh," says an Israeli
who knows Mughniyeh . "The guy is a genius, someone who refined the art of
terrorism to its utmost level. We studied him and reached the conclusion
that he is a clinical psychopath motivated by uncontrollable psychological
reasons, which we have given up trying to understand. The killing of his
two brothers by the Americans only inflamed his strong motivation."
--
Jim the Qrnq Thl
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Weird Interpretation 0f Usama From a Friend
From: hiway@news.speakeasy.org (Field Marshall Stack)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 6:03 PM
Message-ID: <slrn9qkpq6.1e1.hiway@hiway.dsl.speakeasy.org>

On Thu, 20 Sep 2001 07:24:06 -0700, Boddhisatva Troutwaxer <tungtung@pacbell.net> wrote:
>> I've heard a lot of people say that the WTC was
>> "an act of war." Wrong, wrong, wrong. Pearl Harbor was an act of war. It was
>> aimed at our war machine and we had a land mass to shoot back at. We don't
>> have that now. This was an act of anarchy and destruction. I've heard people
>> saying that bin laden is the Hitler of our era. I wish. Hitler is a reality
>> - we know how to deal with a Hitler.
>
>> Bin Laden is something out of a bad
>> dream. He's Ernst Blofeld. He's Doctor Doom. We are faced for the first
>> time, not with a rogue superpower, not with a megalomaniac despot, but with
>> a supervillain. With someone who can spread around some money, whisper some
>> crazed ideologies into the right ears, and sacrifice a dozen of his own
>> minions to wipe out 5,000 innocent civilians. My true fear is, like a
>> supervillain, the moment you defeat him someone far worse will step out from
>> the shadows. But if there's any comfort to be taken by the reality we know,
>> we can at least be reasonably sure that that won't be his clone.
>
>Supervillain. Nice.
>

Stupid joke, but it made me laugh:

Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the WTC towers?

A: Because he's a quadriplegic!

--
Field Marshall Stack hiway@speakeasy.org
"Nobody ever lends money to a man with a sense of humor."
-Peter Tork

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Original file name: Re- Weird Interpretation 0f Usa - converted on Monday, 24 September 2001, 21:28