Subject: Last Daily Report

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2001 6:46 PM
Message-ID: <ff9q7.30446$n5.3737306@typhoon.nyc.rr.com>

I update my site everyday at this URL:

http://digimind.tripod.com/FEDCOMS/id10.html

If any of you are just a tiny bit interested in my daily stories you can
check back towards the end of each day for more on how I am doing. Unless I
get some over-whelming requests to keep posting them here, I see no point in
doing so. Maybe I just want to drive more traffic to my site, maybe I really
don't see the point in continuing to post these here. I dunno. I'm
desperately trying to erase my mind and get my slack back. I fear these
posts maybe intruding upon the slack of others. Let me know how ya feel...or
you can just come by and read them directly from the site. So, until further
notice, here is my last "Daily Post" on what the hell is going on inside my
yeti-cranium. I guess it's my journal, and it's open to the public.

09.19.01 Wow, I was really feeling out of it yesterday. I read my post and
realized that I had posted things I should not have posted. Yesterday's post
came from a very dark and foreboding place within me. A place I rarely
visit. Please, dont let it concern you. Yes, I have issues, like most, and
unfortunately they surfaced yesterday. Most of the post is OK but some of it
is too down for me to even get into. Besides, they have so little relevance
to recent happenings. Maybe not but anywaze. here's today's updates.

It took a while for me to fall asleep last night and I only woke up 3 times
during the evening as opposed to 6 or 7 times each night before. So I am
slightly better rested today and feeling better over all. I remember one
dream that awoke me last night. So for all of you dream interpreters out
there, here it is. Email me what you think

I'll start by explaining the setting. It all took place on one of the
streets that my parents live on, by the house where I lived all of my
teenage years. It was the middle of the night; all lights in all houses were
off. There were 3 of us, my best friend, myself and an as yet unidentified
individual. I have a feeling it was one of my 2 youngest sons but grown up.
Anywaze, the dream began like this. I was easily about 50 feet ahead of my
friend and the unidentified person. The unidentified person was in full
stride, running towards me then past me and continuing up the block and out
of the dream. My friend was playing with some sort of nerf airplane. The
nerf airplane would get pushed onto one of those nerf launchers. He was
launching it at me but as nerf toys are usually inaccurate, it would fly
fast in erratic swirls until finally hitting the ground. His first launch
came right for me; I remember the anticipation of trying to catch it so that
I could have my turn to launch it. But, it flew a half circle and landed too
close to my friend for me to even try and retrieve it before he would get to
it. So I ran a little further ahead and waited for him to launch it again.

This time it flew right past me and landed rather close. I was able to get
to it before he did. He pounced on top of me and started punching me in
frustration. Playful punching, not at all causing pain. I threw the airplane
away from both of us to get him off of me and hoped I could beat him to it.
Once I threw the plane away, he said, "Thats it!" and I saw him pointing his
finger at someone's doorbell. I knew he was going to ring it and run. I
replied, "You better not!" and with that he did. So we both took off running
up the block. I remember thinking that we were running way too fast for
anyone to see us. That's when I heard a car screeching behind us. I looked
back for a moment and noticed what appeared to be a small economy sized car.
Dark, grill missing and head-lights turned off. At that moment we both
turned a sharp corner and headed for the river. There was another block of
houses to go, if we ran a straight line we could run through someones back
yard and continue on to the beach of the river. Thats when I heard the
engine rev up and tires screech, this time I could see our shadows created
by the oncoming headlights. Up and coming was a corner. We could cut left of
right of continue straight through the backyards of people. At his moment, I
lost track of my friend. I felt alone and confused, I felt the car getting
closer although I could no longer hear the engine or see evidence of the
headlights. I was confused and could not decide in which direction to run, I
began to panic and became utterly afraid.

Thats when I woke up out of the dream, sweating and shaking. So, any ideas?
Is it impending doom? Or just some whacked out weird nothing. Anywaze, it
hasnt affected me other than being one of 3 mental disturbances during last
night's slumber.

Work today started off mad-crazy but fortunately this afternoon has left me
some room to breathe. I have been able to catch up on a few things and am
slowly getting back into the normal swing of things. Mentally feeling much
better, actually the best I've felt in just over a week. Im beginning to
think that I may be one of those people starving for attention and I dont
even know it. I mean, I actually started feeling better yesterday. I got
home from work and besides feeling exhausted, mentally I felt better inside,
especially after reading some emails from people who have been keeping up to
date with my daily posts. Some of whom are concerned about me. Let me just
say one thing here, this world is full of things to worry about, please,
dont let me be one of them. There is no reason to ever worry about me. I
tend to be very blunt about what I think and or feel. I am one of those that
speak before thinking. So please, if you find my posts interesting and
entertaining, cool, sort of like daily short stories or peeking into
someones private life. In my case, a strangers mind. If not a stranger then
a friend or a brother or what ever.

I have a hard time controlling my emotions. It is very difficult for me to
recognize depression when it comes. Its even harder for me to stop myself
from dwelling on such things and falling into a maelstrom of confusion,
anxiety and madness. Its only when I am thrown ashore do I realize where I
was heading and wipe my brow with a "Whew!" sign of relief. I am now
standing on the shore of my emotions, sighing and feeling relieved.

And to think that you are here to witness it.. Im not creative enough to
make this shit up. It's all as true as you sitting there, staring into a
computer monitor, reading these very words. Unless of course your so
absorbed that you actually print these things to read later. But I doubt
that, Im not at all that interesting

I am actually begining to think that I may be suffering from an over-active
imagination. NYC (at least those parts that I am exposed to) seems to be
looking pretty normal. There have been no further terrorist attacks and the
thought of an all out World War 3 seems much more distant today. I dunno,
kinda feels like the calm before the storm. Maybe everything really is going
to be OK.

Until tomorrow
ttfn

************************************************************

I hope to get up the spirit to get back into IRC #Subgenius soon, I miss
those folks....
--

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
P.O.Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
www.subgenius.com
or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
PRABOB

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Original file name: Last Daily Report - converted on Monday, 24 September 2001, 21:28