6-5-99
No, you sorry bastards, I live ON and ON! Even in DEATH! For I DID die. I died and went to GEEK HEAVEN.
Actually, I went to Seattle first for P-Lil's devival, but that was Geek Heaven after a fashion also. Although the attendance was poor, the show itself was THE KIND I LIKE, in that I came away with good recordings of SUPERB new rants n' rusings by Pope David N. Meyer, Papa Joe Mama, Popess Lilith Herself, KENNETH HUEY!!! (who SHOCKED even me!) and even Judas Iscariot and the Sex Goddesses!
I personally felt that my performance was way below par. Damn, I did the EXACT SAME MATERIAL at Winterstar and they were shoutin' halleluiah and handling snakes in the aisles. But I was without sleep or that ESO musical "rug" that I think I must be hooked on.
NOTE: New WINTERSTAR DEVIVAL CD: $12 plus $2 postage and handling in USA
Includes entire ESO/Stang devival plus some ESO Witch Disco Swamp Trance music and 10 minutes of ESO Radio w/ LCDave. P-Wei, Stanky, Chas -- LIMITED SUPPLY!! EMAIL *ME NOW* IF YOU WANT TO RESERVE ONE! I'll be cutting 'em THIS WEEK ONLY.
The Seattle devival is well recorded on High 8 video (that video camera has turned out to be the best location audio recorder I can muster)... I'm planning to stream some of the rants in RealAudio from SubSITE. In the meantime, there are good pictures by Rev. Sorvan at: http://www.pangea.ca/sorvan/subgenius/
I concur with P-Lil's appraisal of the Seattle show. Papa Joe Mama's violent holocaustal rampage notwithstanding (which he blamed on some innocent black kid!!), we didn't get SHUT DOWN like in Boston!
Getting SHUT DOWN for things you didn't even do (yet) can snowball and turn into VERY BAD JUJU. Lenny Bruce's career itself was shut down largely because of snowballing cancellations. I also happened to be reading the biography of Jim Morrison of The Doors ("No One Here Gets Out Alive"), and even though he never actually whipped it out in Miami, a million bucks in shows was cancelled because the press SAID he did. But then, Jim Morrison got RICH AS MIDAS and was a BIG STAR ANYWAY. I called Jesus up and said, "Man, I figured out why we are still broke and unfamous. WE NEED TO START BEING TOTALLY ABUSIVE DRUNKEN ASSHOLES to EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME." Jesus said, "Yeah! That's what I've been trying to tell you all along! We need to drink whiskey and take acid all day long, and crash our cars into trees and puke on our friends and be late to shows!" "Yeah... and scream at the people who are paying us!" "YEAH! You get the whiskey, I'll get the acid." "Hey wait a minute, I forgot... one thing Jim Morrison had that we don't -- he was young and good looking. And he could sing. You can't sing, and I'm not young." "SHIT. I guess if it was easy, everybody'd be doing it." So, the Lord and I blew off trying to be like Jim Morrison.
Instead, I laid around at the quiet house of my hosts, Marcus Evenstar and Valerie, reading collections of ancient Doonesbury comics that I missed back in the Day, and walking around nearby graveyards fropped to the gils. (Hmmm, I guess that does sound kind of Morrison like actually.)
When I returned to MegaFisTemple Lodge #1, the true and heavenly geekery began. My son Ydnax and my daughter Sivet had both just gotten brand new modern day super-powered Macintosh computers that make my decrepit 7500 look like an abacus. But they had no SOFTWARE. So I spent a couple of days HAPPY AS A HOG IN SHIT dumping my treasure trove of Macintosh software, desktop gizmos, and ARCANE KNOWLEDGE on my kids, whether they wanted it or not. Actually Ydnax is way way ahead of me in his chosen field of geekery, video mixing and animation, but my CRIMINAL HACKERY SKILLS were of use to him. Sivet is into graphics programs and general desktop tweakery, and so am I, so I had just the most MARVELOUS time skimming through all these psychedelic graphics tools with her, showing her what they do and making sure they worked.
She did later ask me how to REMOVE the "BOB" LOVES YOU start-up screen, however, and the X-Day countdown clock.
BUT!!! Than came the ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE in ORGIASTIC TECHNO-GEEKERY:
THE CD-ROM RECORDER THAT REV.DR.JACK SENT US!!!
PRAISE AND HAIL REV.DR.JACK MEHOFF of the FIRST CHURCH OF RELAXOLOGY!!!
THIS REVOLUTIONARY NEW GIZMO WILL SAVE ME JILLIONS!!!!! AND ALLOW GIANT LEAPS FOR MANKIND AND SUBGENIUSKIND ALIKE!!
You can probably tell, I am excited as hell about this!
The Foundation has been, worse than usual, financially strapped, and we NEVER would have made this investment ourselves. A big expense lately has been storage space -- Zip and Jaz disks stacking up. We have plenty -- there's a small fortune in disk space here. Never ENOUGH, of course. Once I finally got the new CD-ROM burner installed, and read the manual, it began to sink in. I looked from the stack of $100 Jaz disks to the stack of $2 blank CDs, and back again, and AT LONG LAST it struck me just how DAMN much $ this thing will SAVE us. I'll be able to free up VAST ACRES of recordable space!
I CAN SHARE KEEN KRAP WITH ALMOST ANYBODY FOR ALMOST NOTHING!!
And I CAN MAKE AUDIO CDs!
Once I got over the initial trepidation of RECORDING WHOLE HOURS OF SOUND into my computer gear -- I had only had CALL to mess with short sound clips thus far -- I was TICKLED PINK!
I want to sit and crank out CD after CD of favorite tapes and Hours of Slack and Bob Songs and X-Day music and so forth. Eventually we will. Currently, it's still a time consuming process. If I had ANOTHER CD-ROM player hooked up, it'd be a lot easier. But for now, any CD I make has to come off sound recorded on that darn $100 Jaz disk. (650 megs is only 74 minutes of audio CD sound.) And I can't afford to keep more than one or two of those around dedicated just to CD-making.
(I could put MANY hours of Slack on a CD-ROM in MP3 format, and will, but that wouldn't play on regular audio CD players.)
For instance, the first thing I did after the day-long and SCARY AS HELL installation of the device (replacing my old CD ROM player inside my Mac), was to copy the Boston Devival Hour of Slack #683, which Rev.Dr.Jack had a hankering for. I ran my best tape deck into my Mac, set it to record to the blank $100 Jaz disk, put in the HoS 683 cassette master tape and GRITTED MY TEETH because I was SURE that my hard drive would EXPLODE, and pushed RECORD!! And it WORKED BEAUTIFULLY! Then I ran THAT (586 mb of AIFF file) into the CD burner and hit "WRITE DISK" and stood back and... MAH GOD!! In 15 minutes that 1 hour CD was CUT!!! And it played right there on the boombox in my kitchen and on the Discman in Tarzan's Radio Studio! LIKE A REAL CD!!
I couldn't fucking believe it! We retards are EASILY impressed that way.
I immediately went out and spent ALL my pocket change on blank CDs. I made 3 more copies of that Boston show. But I REALLY wanted to make a CD of the Winterstar 99 devival with ESO. To do that I had to fill another Jaz disc to make the digital "master." But there was no blank Jazz disk. So I had to erase the Boston show master and replace it with the Winterstar sound. (If I figure out how to put my former internal CD ROM player back into use, I could use the $2 CD copies as masters, don't you see!)
I made FIVE copies of the Winterstar show, for the participants, and I'LL MAKE ONE FOR YOU for $12 plus $2 postage (to SubGenius Foundation, PO BOX 140306 Dallas TX 75214. But you have to tell me REAL SOON, THIS WEEK, because I'll erase the Jaz disk master after that, and they'll be too much of a pain in the ass to make that way again (although they're always available on cassette for $8.50).
Although WINTERSTAR DEVIVAL is marred by my voice throughout, it has KICK-ASS background music by Chas Smith/ESO during the preaching. Actually I was real happy with my performance this particular rant. It's a good demo for getting more "gigs" perhaps. Besides the devival, you also get an ESO space jam instrumental (tail end of "Lair of the Termite Queen" live at Winterstar) and some classic ESO radio with Lonesome Cowboy Dave.
Next, I'll try some Bobsongs or Media Barrage material for this new...
"SUBGENIUS COLLECTOR'S CD SERIES"
Yeah, that's it! Limited editions! Hell, I should sell these for $30 and call 'em "bootlegs" or "imports." Which is probably EXACTLY how we'll eventually SEE these, with some EVIL PIRATE BOOTLEGGER ripping us off!
Anyway, as you can see, I'm still "high" on NEW TOY OWNERSHIP. This is like Christmas.
And I must reiterate: "ALL HAIL REV.DOK.JACK!! "MORE THEM KIND SANTAS, BOD!""
HOWEVER!!! I am going to let this new toy REST so I can play with my OTHER new toy that I hardly got to play with yet -- MY SCANNER!!!
I am going to go SCAN CRAZY TONIGHT! It's Saturday night and this is my idea of a WILD SATURDAY NIGHT! GEEKING on SubGenius ARTISTRY! All by myself! In my underwear! With death metal band THERION playing at top blast in headphones! With HALF-STRENGTH COFFEE and THIRD-STRENGTH FRAPPY!! Man, I'm a regular Jim Morrison.
Then I'll send some of this shit to alt.binaries.slack! I haven't poked my head into any newsgroups in weeks. Gotta make at least a couple more swings through before XX-Day.
Shit. It's only 30 days. Less. Jeepers. How the fuck am I gonna get the Pulpit to Brushwood. ANY other Dallasians (or Texanians del Sur) driving up there?
Cripes, this could be my last night to scan. Things are gonna get hecticer again and again. Portland in 4 days. Aieee.
To SCAN and SCAN. Unfortunately I must split the time between SubGenius and day-job scanning. But I've been going through the BOXES OF SNAPSHOTS and POSTCARDS, see... boxes that go back TWENTY LONG YEARS of SubGenius, uh, things and events and people. I have been sorting and sorting. And categorizing.
I haven't even broken into the old STARK FIST print version and book COLOR ART stashes... all the classic shit that nobody ever saw in COLOR.
I could spend the rest of my life MERELY ARCHIVING AND REMIXING OLD SUBGENIUS STUFF for rerelease, and NEVER DOING ANYTHING NEW, I really could.
Except that as long as Hour of Slack/ESOradio exist, there must be NEW SHOW EVERY WEEK.
Speaking of which, the HOUR OF SLACK SHOWS are NEW EVERY WEEK once again on SubSITE in RealAudio, thanks to the regularity of Rev.Bro.VT!! I'm having trouble keeping up with him actually.
SHIT!!! I HAVE TO MAKE A NEW SHOW AND DUB IT BEFORE PORTLAND... uh... BY MONDAY AFTERNOON! How many "fucks" and "shits" to cut from the Seattle preaching? Not many, since I won't be using my own. Oh yeah, and I found that new BRAN FLAKES CD -- which is GREAT incidentally! Hmm, now that I think of it, the all-Seattle HoS should be a pretty easy one to assemble.
OK OK SLACK SLACK! Type HoS 686 Log... then SCAN!! SCAN!! PAR-TAAYYYY!!!!!
Original file name: 6-5-99-StangReport
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.