Hour of Slack #1748 - SubGenius House 4 Sale

or:

People Hating Me Just For Not Hating Somebody Else As Much As I Was Supposed To

59:37

After weeks of turmoil, finishing the strenuous final evacuation of the Cleveland Slackermansion in Ohio and the panicky exodus to Stang Ranch in Texas, we were finally able to do a good old new-fashioned all-talk new show with Lonesome Cowboy Dave. In fact, that's all this episode is: one hour-long conversation (plus Internet-only end plugs and propaganda). Revelations include the Church's face-eating chimp on Prozak (Professor Yeti), what it's like to be peein' mad while standing on the third rail, the oui wee Wei wee-wee-way, and how, if you act like a jerk, you're only satirizing other jerks, so it's okay.

And, seriously, our Cleveland house is officially on the market and would be a killer deal for a young family, or an old art bum, with modern electrical needs and walking distance to everything necessary.

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LOG of THIS EPISODE:

Thought Dave had missed his annointment with "Bob." Ptolomy Toltex Dave nonsense. Wrestlers? Superheroes and the forbidden gene that comes out every Tuesday. Omnibus reference to Omnibus podcast - smart guys that talk good about the Church in one episode. Dave on themes and formats. Format for this show: Hour of Slack! Where's Princess Wei? Now at Tarzan's Radio Station - set-up problems. Buddy is the Cheetah of Tarzan's Radio station. The Professor Yeti plan, chimpanzee preacher and scribe, and why it didn't work -- he was a Face Eating Chimp on Prozac. Claudia is more of a Cheetah due to ape-like boxer-face with cauliflower ears and brocolli breasts. Wei joins the show. Dave wants to hear the music. (Brian Henke's "Seven Magic Spells" as used on Stang's nature videos.) Detailed description of the house, studio -- a beautiful ruin. No roof or windows. Wei hears Buddy causing trouble over Show. Soon goats and cows will trample through the studio. The terrible final weeks of the house repair and move to Texas. Stang will never have to drive on I-65 or I-40 ever again. Peein' mad while standing on the third rail. The motel clerk, the traffic jam; all the motels between Cleveland and Dallas. The terrible Econolodge failure. SubG motel reviews and NEIGHBORWORLD. Weird Dave 1932 paperboys? Dave is living in his previous life two lifetimes ago in Hell's Kitchen. Stang never invited to "Bob's" parties. Thanks Philo! Filo dough vs. Philo. Wei pronounced Way by some. The oui wee Wei wee wee way! Stang keeps 3 hospital urinal bottles in the car and 3 in bedroom. Dave's Dependencies and Indignities. Wei and Susie go slack at the microphone, then Dave does it. Dave's pro radio voice is from 1950. Dave's Firesign Theater-like plays. The Firesign Clones at Starwood where Stang badly played Nick Danger but sounded Texan anyway. Stang's acting limitations - Texan or Claude Rains. Cladia Rains Gabriel Tirebiter St. Clair. The dog literally a tire-biter. Claudia's hatred of loud machines - in boxer shorts. So bucolic out here in the woods. Sun blinded Stang, then deafened. Homer was blind, worked at power plant. We're supposed to talk about "Bob" and the Conspiracy, the world is ending, our chimpanzee is a dog. House lined with fossils and books and bucolic tree house. Dogs and deer hunters. Had to keep Dammett in during dinosaur hunting season. Stang saw deer struggling to jump over barbed-wire fence. Can't sodomize them - NOT FUNNY! TRIGGERED! Stang got accused of triggering people due to Legume's allegory about camping - can only be on Republican Supreme Court due to his un-P.C. funny stuff in the past. Legume's evil story of Rape Bear and how ten years later it became so controversial that some triggered millenials left the Church over it. Stang's definition of "trigger." Abuse of horses. Unfair things in the world. Strangers were looking at our clan's single last old horse. Horrible things they'll do to Gus. Bucolic Stang Ranch opposite of Ceveland world. HOUSE FOR SALE! Historic due to Buddy's flight and Church and cleanliness with all doors and windows working, and amenities of neighborhood. It's walking distance! Nobody will beat you up on this street. The strictness of Cleveland Heights, force you to act like you have class. Dave tells of house painter Charlie's problems with Cleveland Heights rules. FORBIDDEN IN CITY OF CLEVELAND HEIGHTS except for cohabitation and leg-shaving. Dave shaving his knees again; my knee. Stang needs money for m'knee. Rub m'knee. Stang's bald legs. Spider-knee people. Plans to visit Texas State Fair with giant mutant livestock and pobuckers. The Arachnid Show was outlawed in Texas. You can smoke spider if you dry them out first and they're not venomous. WHAT IF: a Pig pretending to be a cowboy? Wei and Dave madness re Meridian Leeward. Whale-jumping the way the world is going, which is to hell in a flaming handbasket. Methane boiling out of the Arctic. Now Stang scared he might live to see the really bad stuff -- but not for long. 2/3 of USA birds are endangered if average temp goes up... combined global warming, acid rain, ozone depletion, loss of habitat, forests burning, permafrost melting - frozen giant mutant sloths and cave-bigfoots will be resurrected from the permafrost. Dave hasn't seen wooly-bear caterpillars but we saw dozens. No shortage of scorpions, tarantulas, cactus, baby dragons, buzzards, douchebags, and zombie deer. Stang spent all day restoring trails in the grass... the reasons for trails. Philo has the tick farm. We have the red harvester ant and paper wasp farms. Hate to poison the wasp nests. What happened to the music? Hearing a borborigmus sound from one of the phones. Struggling with remote control on CD player.. weird rumblings and fluttering: the fart effect. Maybe when Stang's phone updated itself, shed skin; hate to learn new ways. But what should we do about all the problems??? Do we post on Facebook? People hating me just for not hating somebody as much as much as I was supposed to hate them. I'm not here to correct anyone -- it's all here for my entertainment! - until I got that pinched nerve, then become sure I'm dying. Good reason for Stang to be paranoid. As long as Stang slaves, his back doesn't hurt. Like in the CRANK movies -- if stop for a second, heart explodes. Spoiler re: CRANK 2 last shot: shooting finger at audience, grinning, with FACE ON FIRE! That super-famous actor whose name I can't remember... Jason Argo... signs of Alzheimers. Can't access anything without a DEVICE. Analog devices preserved by Stang at cost to his spine, finances - shed full of 8mm film, Betamax, VHS, cassettes, reel to reel, stone tablets, papyrus animated movies - pictographs made by Indians, you had to blink to make the animation work. Don't think about gender-y stuff. The word "gender" triggers Stang. "If anyone invents a sixth sex, they must die." Just kidding! Satire as tool against the man. When you act like a jerk, you're only making fun of the jerks, so it's okay." "But we're only offending idiots!" "I'm not really a rebel, I'm just an IDIOT." We prefer the term SubGenius. Being called the bad I-word by own father. "Idiot" is a bad word that reminds of of how we're held down. Done enough of an hour... Tarzan's wasn't even set up when I sat down at this table and suddenly we were doing a show! The purring fluttering sound, like a card in the spokes of their bike-wheels, or Stang's throat. Sun looks great behind Princess Wei, looks like radioactive monster; nuclear plant visible out the window. Power companies in Ohio make taxpayers pay for rich guys' mistakes. We need to get rich - you CAN look at subgenius.com - all Hours of Slack archived by Bachner and Sidik - Will O'Dobbs did some shows when Stang was away. NEIGHBORWORLD semi-ad. The portrait of Dave Face by Apostacy Fnord. Stang's ill-fated beg for money on Facebook.

EXTRAS: We and Dave need money; Stang rants on Rich Fucks have Dumbified America. Bitter Stang rant to kids about acting like a dumbshit and bosses. When you become a boss you'll be the same way, and that's the Conspiracy.We must escape the fluttering noise.

Dr. Hal Robins: http://askdrhal.com and http://radiovalencia.fm

Rev. Susie the Floozie and "Bob's" Slack Time Funhouse, WREK Atlanta:
Available live at 1am Saturday night on http://www.wrek.org/
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For one week after broadcast you can find it in WREK's archives on the MORNING schedule, SUNDAY at 1am at http://www.wrek.org/slacktime/
Afterwards, it will be available at http://www.radio4all.net/index.php/series/Bobs+Slacktime+Funhouse
Hundreds of archived episodes are available there.

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NOTE: THE HOUR OF SLACK is released in two versions.

The X-RATED "INTERNET VERSION" contains all original "fucks," "shits," "God damns," etc., and this is the one which is downloadable from SubSITE and which is sent to individual subscribers OR non-American radio stations.

All American radio stations (except WORT, Madison) are sent the "PG RATED CENSORED VERSION," which has the Bad Words either reversed, bleeped, or replaced with the spoken word "Bob", depending on what works best.

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