Hour of Slack #1606 - Eloi-Face Sandwich and the Numa-Numa-ssiah

59:31 for broadcast; Internet version: 1:14:12 with special extra secrets

Live at Tarzan's Radio Station in Fossil House on Dokstok Mountain, Stang Ranch, Stangsville, Texas, 2017"-01-23 with Lonesome Cowboy Dave calling in.

The new Secretary of Hate's comments and "alternative facts." Ladies' March inaugural discrepancies and old fake news about what constitutes reality. Transporntainment, infotainment and Dave's novel NEIGHBORWORLD. "Info" and "scan" as suffixes, prefixes. The Winterstar Ball with Rev. Baby Bear preaching on Feb 12 at Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland. The old Winterstar site sold to some cult. Stang's scary certified letter from tax man wanting proof of "agricultural use" for Dokstok Mountain. How to qualify for "AG USE"? Butterfly sanctuary? Raise meerkats, lemurs, tree sloths? Stang's Roach Farm! "Bob's" prophecy re: roach steaks in 2000, broomsticks in the ass fad. Could make cheap broomsticks from cedars. Need to somehow have farm on 5 acres. Ant farm? Pet rock farm? SKULL FARMING! Roadside attraction "Destructionist Museum" and the excavations of our devil, alien, and cave SubGenius fossil skeletons. Man Eating Chicken and post-post-literate travelers. The SubGenius Abusement Park in Glen Rose Texas. Make the Yankee tourists sign the waiver and then we farm their skulls. The drones record it all anyway. Get Legume to do the Cave Bear Mating Dance of the Cave SubGenius wearing our bear skins for the roadside attraction. Get CULT EXEMPTION? But we have no minions. Stang speculates re: right wing conspiracy against SubGenius in town. But this is a low grade cult. President Howard Hughes. TrumpStop convenience stores/privately-owned prisons in poor neighborhoods, intellectual places. "Terrorists" who reverse the words on TrumpStop signs. Indian tribal militia and blue corn and President Hughes. The billionaire Presidents: Rothschild, Rockefeller, Morgan, Vanderbilt, Ford. Pinkertons and Wells Fargo and Penny Dreadful. The Hessians and Prussians. Mug of coffee in the Tarzan Radio Station. Don't replace it or you'll die. Pus thermometers. The Atlas of Sexual Depravity. Obsequeate the sebaceous glands. Dave's dad was a loiterer from the planet Plutocrat. This conversation is as weird as with that guy I thought was Rev. Peas. British and Soviet sex machines. Who's listening anyway? Listen to 'em listening! "If it crawls it bites, if it grows it sticks." Goat heads. Great Lakes baby hill made of solid Ontario quartz crystal near Kirtland Ohio - Dave will use it to mind control the region for evil. "Grab 'em by the country." "Shut the front door!" Regime change hasn't changed small-town Texas -- except all my tax bills suddenly doubled. Must farm Dobbsheads or Pipes -- Pipe Farm details. Pipe seeds, growing Pipes fornicating under the full moon. Medical Jalapeno farm. Conspiracy wants the property. Waylon Nelson song about Glen Rose. Stang's ex-wife raises bees and organized a Womens March in Beaumont! Everybody's ex-wife was heroic. Possible violence at women's marches? TOPLESS women's marches? Dave's last hair. Topless is legal in the frozen north. Sex is something you do with a hired person in a motel room. We're in the Black Hole and time is passing much faster outside. The ones who were outside the event horizon when we went in are all dead. We'll stay in the black hole until the next election. Morlocks know how to party and know how to barbecue. ELOI-FACE SANDWICH. Trump is the Numa-Numa-siah. "My Wife is a Slack Pile." Photo essay on our family piles. Morlock music, Morlock rock kicks ass. Very high voices, like the band Yes. Tarzan's Radio Station is in a cave - Dammett's voice and his autistic problems. We have to pay the vet to "touch him there." Dammett's strange obsessions. ((Dave talks about the room with the paintings -- CUT THIS PART BEFORE POSTING!!!!) Makes me want to dance! Dave's chimp arms. Pappy's Sons of the Pioneers tape - vinyl revival. When in Detroit, visit WEIRDSVILLE RECORDS!! The only brick and mortar store that sells SubGenis ordainment kits! Weirdsville also in Dave's book. Thunderpants. Geld the working class. People polite in real life but mean on the Internet. "I thought Pinks meant queers and sissies and commies!" Stang Pink Pity rant. Bravery of the Internet screen. "Your stuped!" Stang's obnoxious friend blamed everything on the Internet, specifically usenet. Internet was great when only smartypants knew what it was. Stang's internet history - AOL to Cleveland Freenet. Free outlaw world until it turned into TV. Every stupid thing validated now. You had to work HARD and go to creepy bookstores to get your kook ideas validated. Abortion malls Onion article was "fact" and NOW LOOK! Lies like "welfare queens" and all the people Hillary murdered with her bare hands. Dave's new song. We're the REAL elitists. Any idiot boy can grow up to be President if he has a rich daddy. Sudden end of show.

(On the Internet version only, 15 more minutes of secret Church gossip follows.)

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LOG of THIS EPISODE:

Lemur - HoS Intro #4

Lemur - Crazy_Farmer2

Live at Stang Ranch, 01-23-"2017" with LCDave calling in

(Background music from Monster Hunter Tri)

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