The IRC Wedding of P-Kitty and Unibomber

<P-Lil> OK, so we're talking a six-week marriage here?
*** SisRose ( has joined #subgenius *** RevJack sets mode: +o SisRose
<BBQ_Skin> Wow. Truly a fate worse than death. <pope1> OK!
<MegaLiz> ICE: you are skeering me again. <PeeKat> Yeah!
<BBQ_Skin> Rose! You're back!
<RevUni> Yes
<UncleBear> wb rose!
<pope1> It's FUN-TIME!
*** Agent_Wil ( has joined #SubGenius <dad> cuthulu he of his own goddamn server can't stay connected
<ICEKNIFE> with an option for anal penetration <MegaLiz> Rose!
<SisRose> it was with your prayers, friends, that I could return!
<BBQ_Skin> Prozac party!
<SisRose> Praise the Lord!
*** cuthulu ( has joined #subgenius <BBQ_Skin> Pass the Lobster!
<pope1> Who wants to play Russian Roulette? <P-Lil> Rose! I won't have to marry RevUni and PeeKat all alone!
<fathertom> marrage is punishment for the weak *** ICEKNIFE sets mode: +o Agent_Wil
<dad> no lobster here - harbor's polluted <SisRose> I'm mother of the bride, I jut cry! <BBQ_Skin> But SHORT DURATION marriage is a REWARD for the weak!
*** ICEKNIFE sets mode: +o cuthulu
<cuthulu> and nowadays they freak out when you tell them you like to wash it down with beer or gin
<P-Lil> All right, you crunts, SHADDUP. We' <MegaLiz> marriage is punishment for the strong also
<SisRose> and do I do my new son *before* or *after* the marriage?
<P-Lil> All right, you crunts, SHADDUP. We've got a CEREMONY goin' on here!
<TheCharli> dad ... see? Pee inthe pool and everybody suffers...
<BBQ_Skin> Both.
<PeeKat> Hey! No one suffers cuz I'm int he pool! <P-Lil> Rose: He ain't your son until afterwards, you know....
<dad> Charlie - it's P-Lil doin the peeing around here
<MegaLiz> Who's gettin hitched?
<ICEKNIFE> pk, so what do we do after we pee a pool?
<ICEKNIFE> dew they swim in it?
<BBQ_Skin> This is the BAHROOM. You will notice there is no "T" in it. Please keep it that way.
*** Orian (< has left #Subgenius <TheCharli> ... but not on the lobsters.. <MegaLiz> BAH!
<PeeKat> You DRINK it back down!
<P-Lil> Rose: C'mere, love, I need you to hold up my tits so I can read from the texts.
<cuthulu> somebody cue up Midsummer Night's Dream by Mendelssohn for the appropriate march <BBQ_Skin> White Lobster Tea?
<dad> no Charlie - oilspill in Portland harbor this weekend, lobsters all black and slimy <BBQ_Skin> No, Variant Processional March by Frank Zappa!
<SisRose> I wanna kiss the bride
<pope1> Type !8ball <your question> to ask the 8ball a question.
* RevJack wants the cake
<RevUni> Rose... :)
<PeeKat> OKay, but no going past third base... <TheCharli> oh... so you meant for REAL ... <MegaLiz> WHO?!?! WHO IS GETTING SDM?
<SisRose> come 'ere mija, give mommy a wet one! <BBQ_Skin> SDM?
* pope1 wants someone to type: !shoot
* RevUni gives Rose a sloppy wet kiss!
<ICEKNIFE> I just rode in on a giant lobster, and boy do my cruntflaps itch!
<P-Lil> OK, who's playing the CD deck?
<UncleBear> !shoot pope1
<pope1> pope1 spins the chamber...
<pope1> pope1 pulls back the hammer and puts the gun to UncleBear's head...
<MegaLiz> Shordurmarried
<PeeKat> !shoot
<pope1> pope1 spins the chamber...
<pope1> -CLICK- pope1 says: "You'll get it next time!"
<pope1> pope1 pulls back the hammer and puts the gun to PeeKat's head...
<pope1> -CLICK- pope1 says: "Don't tempt fate too much!"
<fathertom> I already killed him once
<UncleBear> I have a bulletproof skull
<pope1> hahaha
<BBQ_Skin> I have a skullproof bullet.
<dad> Lil, quick, finish the ceremony
<BBQ_Skin> Yeah, more FORNICATING!
<PeeKat> We're trying to...
<SisRose> it started?
<UncleBear> had it installed when last time I had my brain lobes rotated
<P-Lil> OK, let me pipe in the Baba_Jeanie WAV for the music....
<MegaLiz> Pope is shooting Flanks!
<SisRose> ok ok
<P-Lil> AHEM.
<TheCharli> quick! we wanna watch.
<PeeKat> YEAH.
<P-Lil> Ahhhhhhhhhh YES DEAR FRIENDS....! * Agent_Wil wipes his eye
<MegaLiz> SSSshhhhhhhhhh
<dad> I always pee at weddings
<PeeKat> (Everyone get out from under the pupit! NO MOSH PITS TIL AFTER THE CEREMONEY DAMMIT!) <Agent_Wil> I promised I wouldn't cry
<ICEKNIFE> Do you, a prisoner in a cuban homofarm, promise to try to escape at the first sign of seafood?
* fathertom crys hystaricly
<MegaLiz> Shaddup!
<fathertom> yes
<ICEKNIFE> okgoodfine
<RevJack> this is so sweet
<SisRose> NOT A JOKE!!!!
* dad hits the person next to me over the head with a prayerbook
<P-Lil> We are gathered here today to join this Mutant, Pee Kitty, and this Yetidoch, Rev. Unibomber, in the BONDAGE... of unholy
* RevJack blows his nose into his hanky real loud * TheCharli throws a rice bowl at Peekat and RevUni
*** cuthulu has quit IRC (Ping timeout for cuthulu[])
<Agent_Wil> That's my granddaughter!
<RevJack> *HONK*
<PeeKat> (I hope someone's logging this) * fathertom throughs a bag of rice at em' <RevUni> I am. ;)
<P-Lil> "...For better or for worse, but not for long!" ( (c) 1982, Pastor Buck Naked)
* BBQ_Skin cheers loudly, then looks around and slinks down in his seat, embarrased
<Agent_Wil> Oh, I'm'a loggin'
* UncleBear throws a family of rice farmers <ICEKNIFE> and do you, wheezing smut-lump of kandor, agree to fart bright HAPPY fuckin' colors for once in your dreary life?
<fathertom> so is I]
<P-Lil> Well, actually we just happened to BE here, so let's make the best of it, all right? <SisRose> 'member to throw that bouguet right at my face! HARD!
* fathertom throws lower china
<PeeKat> YEAH!
* dad feels spirited
<fathertom> PRAISE "BOB"
<Agent_Wil> You wanna *feel* my spirit?
<ICEKNIFE> i dunno... might be gas
* RevJack scopes out the bridesmaids one more time <SisRose> LAWDDDDDDD
<P-Lil> Then PUT YOUR HANDS ON EACH OTHER. *** cuthulu ( has joined #subgenius <pope1> ummmm... yeah!
<SisRose> wilco, get your hand off the spirit! * PeeKat puts his hands on each other
<Agent_Wil> I gotta take them off myself! <RevJack> bit I'm typing
* MegaLiz swats Jack mightily with a pew *** ICEKNIFE sets mode: +o cuthulu
<cuthulu> ahh just fuckin kill me
<P-Lil> Any objections to this gods-forsaken union of perverts?
<Agent_Wil> Dammit, rose, you can see that? <cuthulu> spike my head open with railroad tracks <UncleBear> When does the bride throw the garter belt?
<fathertom> put your hands in da air wave em' round' like you just don't care
<MegaLiz> BANG
* RevUni throws the bouquet at Rose's face REALLY HARD SO SHE DEFINATELY CATCHES IT!
<cuthulu> i object
<SisRose> All for it!
* dad objects silently
*** cuthulu was kicked by P-Lil (P-Lil)
<codepoet> none here, its a good thing
<P-Lil> Any more objections?
* SisRose screams 'I caught it I caught it" <MegaLiz> In your teeth Rose!
<RevJack> naughty lil
*** cuthulu ( has joined #subgenius <Agent_Wil> WEDDING KICKS!
<SisRose> and now.....THE TANGO!
*** UncleBear sets mode: +o cuthulu
<P-Lil> Any more objections?
<TheCharli> yeah, me too .. what the hell.. I object.
<dad> I want to see them consummate - NOW <PeeKat> OBJECT AND DIE!
<Agent_Wil> Shit, I'm always the bridesmaid, never the bride...
* cuthulu tosses frozen uncle bens
<TheCharli> OK.. I retract..
<P-Lil> Fuck you. We've got a wedding to finish. * RevJack doesn't object in the least
<BBQ_Skin> I object to the objections.
<codepoet> im in favor of love
<Agent_Wil> I second that!
* pope1 says type: !8ball Will the marriage last? <MegaLiz> ARen't we DONE YET?
<SisRose> hitch 'em up, Lil!
* fathertom tosses a bomb with rice painted on it * UncleBear throws alka seltzer to the doves <Agent_Wil> HITCH HITCH!
<cuthulu> join 'em at the genitals
<dad> break their will, Lil
<ICEKNIFE> I object to a subgenius wedding based on love...
<RevJack> knot them puppies
* fathertom lights the church on fire
<PeeKat> Not love, just puke and stupidity. <TheCharli> when do we get to see the slopy stuff? <BBQ_Skin> It was an early love. But friendship too.
<RevUni> yeah... and sex. LOTS OF IT.
* cuthulu extends his pineal gland
<P-Lil> All right... DO YOU, boy, take this Jezebel, this Succubus, this slovenly wench, to be your unlawfully wedded wife, to have and to HOLD, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and depravity, for the next six weeks?
<PeeKat> That too.
<SisRose> LOTS of sex based on LOVE
<PeeKat> AMENPRAISEFUCKINGSHITHELLYESIDO! * UncleBear waves his foot glands in the air <TheCharli> when do we get to do the bride? <dad> ok then
<SisRose> ah go for the whole fall season! <Agent_Wil> This is s owonderful
<ICEKNIFE> rose, you are a gay man
<BBQ_Skin> Well, that's the only GOOD KIND.. If you don't love them, you can't get into the REALLY KINKY stuff..
<P-Lil> Calm down boy, we haven't even got to the vows yet.
* TheCharli weeps openly
<MegaLiz> AT this point it would be TASTELESS to point out that UNI IS A GUY!!!!!!!111
<SisRose> BBQ....
<PeeKat> THIS IS CALM!!!
<RevUni> ROFL!
<Agent_Wil> Rose: You are? Wanna get hitched next?
* cuthulu offers hankies -- $5.00
<dad> no, UNI is not a guy
<ICEKNIFE> could you POSSIBLY be any more touchy feely? COULD YOU?
<PeeKat> (oughta see me freaking out)
<SisRose> well, wilco, I *did* catch the bouquet! <BBQ_Skin> Yes, Rose? Or were you just saying "BBQ" to tweak me again..
* pope1 is just too happy to see strait... <SisRose> BBQ...I'm saying it all with my eyes <ICEKNIFE> Uni is not a guy... but then, neither is PK...
<dad> right on
<fathertom> hehehe
<PeeKat> No kidding...guys suck!
<P-Lil> So, RevUni... do you REALLY want to take this jerkoff, this wanna-be Incubus, this horndog, for YOUR wedded husband, to have and to HOLD, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in depravity, for the next six weeks? Huh? *** TheCharli is now known as Pervert
<UncleBear> Does gender really matter?
<Agent_Wil> ICE: If you'd'a said that earlier, I'd'a paid more attention!
<RevUni> OH YEAH. Like, HECK YEAH enstuph. <cuthulu> various small species of animals gatherd together in a cave and grooving with a pict or something liek that
<MegaLiz> Not at ALL!
<BBQ_Skin> DAMMIT, my ocular IRC jacks broke when I spilled the water before.. I'll just have to try to connect with your eyes telekinetically.. * P-Lil lights up a cigarette
<Agent_Wil> When's the fuckin' start?
<SisRose> ahahahah
*** _Rider ( has joined #subgenius <RevJack> hey rider
<Agent_Wil> Rie
<Agent_Wil> Der
<SisRose> is they done?
<pope1> Rider!
<PeeKat> No...
<Pervert> Rider!
<dad> ok, get to the good part now
*** ICEKNIFE sets mode: +o _Rider
<MegaLiz> Rider: sorry time to die!
<PeeKat> It's not over til they say "Man and wife" <UncleBear> I don't hear no spoogy sounds yet <SisRose> Speed ahead!
<_Rider> Thanks Ice
<RevUni> Rider! YOU BITCH! Youre LATE!
<fathertom> you think I'm inocent not wild <SisRose> Time for more wedding!
<PeeKat> Rider: Yer missing our WEDDING! <Agent_Wil> Heya Rider!
<Pervert> good.. now give your wife a blowjob. <cuthulu> !shoot
<P-Lil> OK, since you two are too cheap for rings, Pee Kitty will form a ring with his thumb and his forefinger, and Unibomber will stick her wee... er, finger, into it.
<pope1> pope1 spins the chamber...
<BBQ_Skin> Cuthulu: You were REAL CLOSE on that song title.
<PeeKat> More wedding!
<pope1> pope1 pulls back the hammer and puts the gun to cuthulu's head...
<RevJack> 1 wedding and a funeral
<_Rider> not me
<pope1> -CLICK- pope1 says: "Did I scare ya?" <_Rider> had to be here
<PeeKat> Okay!
<SisRose> it's too beautiful for words!
<Agent_Wil> there was supposed to be fuckin'! * PeeKat does the ring thing, "Hey! Uni...stick it in!"
<P-Lil> "DA POLE GOES INTO DA HOLE." ( (C) Pastor Buck Naked)
<cuthulu> several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict?
<MegaLiz> Is there piercing in this?
* RevUni sticks it in!
*** LilOne ( has joined #subgenius <SisRose> tissue typing?
<PeeKat> Meg: Not JUST yet...
* Agent_Wil sniffs
* _Rider takes her seat by IceKnife
* Pervert has to witness this
<P-Lil> All right, now SHAKE ON IT, and say, "It's a deal!"
<PeeKat> !8ball So, will the wedding ceremony make it all the way thru?
<PeeKat> Didn't work...
* cuthulu pops the top on a molson golden -- it's union made
<RevUni> doh!
*** ChrisLee has quit IRC (Ping timeout for ChrisLee[])
<LilOne> did I miss anything?
<SisRose> we did have PeeKat de-loused
* PeeKat vibrates
<BBQ_Skin> Cuthulu: yeah, you got it. We wanna see some UMMAGUMMA!
<fathertom> that was great
<pope1> pope1 shakes The 8ball...
<pope1> pope1 peers into its murky depth... <pope1> "It says"...
<pope1> -PopeBOT 8-ball- "Excuse me? Sorry... I wasn't listening... Ask me again!"
<SisRose> KISS! KISS!
<codepoet> ring fits!
<Agent_Wil> this is so beautiful!
* BBQ_Skin zooms in REAL CLOSE with the video camera...
* LilOne cries at weddings
* LilOne takes a seat by Rider
<MegaLiz> Rider DIES at weddings.
* SisRose falls off of chair. or BBQ
<P-Lil> All right, do you two have any final statements before I pass sentence?
* PeeKat vibrates and says It's a deal... *** ICEKNIFE sets mode: +o LilOne
<fathertom> Were is the FOOD
* cuthulu hands out free soap
<SisRose> say it babies!
* LilOne will revive Rider
* UncleBear holds up his chainsaw and revs it loudly in triumph!
<RevUni> yeah. WHERES MY GUN?
<PeeKat> "Spork!"
* Pervert offers BBQ good money for the video rights
<Agent_Wil> There's a lot of love in this room <MegaLiz> IT BABIES!
* LilOne throws meatballs to fathertom
* BBQ_Skin nearly topples, but regains his balance.
* ICEKNIFE is lurking near the punchbowl... <cuthulu> foon!
<fathertom> I've got mine
* RevJack stands on his chair and splorts <SisRose> give him some face, UNI!
<BBQ_Skin> We'll have to see what Penthouse says first..
* LilOne slyly pours some Jim Beam into the punch <P-Lil> All righty then, let's wrap this up.... *** Pervert is now known as TheCharli
* pope1 falls out of his chair and hits the floor with a loud thump.
* RevUni licks PeeKats face
* cuthulu unleashes steve a's monkey side <SisRose> drum roll....
* UncleBear is so excited he pees in the punchbowl <Agent_Wil> we wanna *see* it
<LilOne> hahaha
* _Rider stands with Iceknife
* MegaLiz takes a nice nap
<PeeKat> Hey...not YET!
<SisRose> more licking!
* RevUni sucks on PK's nose
<LilOne> I love licking, don't I Rider
* PeeKat licks Uni's nose
<cuthulu> do the nose!
<Agent_Wil> Woo!
* RevJack picks Meg's pockets
* BBQ_Skin chops up a juicy eyeball and drops it in the punchbowl
* pope1 needs a Dr. Pepper!!!!
<Agent_Wil> That's what we gave that toaster for! * LilOne lights up a cigarette
<dad> this nice weeding, huh
* PeeKat pukes all over Uni and licks it off <P-Lil> By the Authority vested in ME by J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, any attending deities, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, and SUN RA, and in DEFIANCE of the Laws of Man and Nature...
<RevJack> one for the books
<_Rider> yes, I do
* ICEKNIFE pours fermented rhino pee and unsweetened chocolate in the punch
<dad> and I do mean weeding
* _Rider moves closer to IceKnife
<P-Lil> (Offer void where inhibited)
<LilOne> hi dad
<RevUni> hehehe Dad
<cuthulu> i brought the pee-slickened rhino horn! * pope1 is a 15/m/from Maryland 145 lbs. 5' 11" Brown Hair, Brown Eyes, slim muscular build... all alone... :(
* dad tries some punch
<Agent_Wil> I put a spell on you
<SisRose> UNI, Mija! I LOVE YOU!
<SisRose> PEEKAT, Mijo, I LOVE YOU!
<P-Lil> ...I now pronounce these two sick fucks HUSBAND AND WIFE FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. <RevUni> Rose! I LOVE YEW TOO!
<ICEKNIFE> PK... a bit of sage advice, from an ol' married guy...
* fathertom pours some home made potato liqure into the punch bowl
<_Rider> Hi Mega
<pope1> That was an acident...
* LilOne is really called LordStud
<PeeKat> Yeah?
* Agent_Wil weeps openly. Never thought he'd live to see the day
<pope1> Please ignore it...
<RevJack> sure it was
<BBQ_Skin> Lil: You fucked up. It was only supposed to be SIX WEEKS.
<pope1> IT WAS!
<_Rider> lol
<codepoet> WWWWWWWWWoooooooooHHHHHHHHHHHHooooooooo! !!!!!!!
* LilOne hands wil a hankie
* SisRose wipes nose on Wilco's overalls <PeeKat> I'm paying attention!
<P-Lil> Or until the first one hogs all the sheets on the wedding bed.
<PeeKat> HEy!
<PeeKat> Wait...
<pope1> It's a POPUP!
<PeeKat> Six MONTHS?
<pope1> I missed...
<PeeKat> Uh...
* pope1 chugs a Dr. Pepper!
* pope1 chugs a Dr. Pepper!
<PeeKat> That counts, right...she can change it? <PeeKat> Heh.
<BBQ_Skin> Is that valid? Are video replays OK? <RevUni> hehehehe
<P-Lil> OK, it's going for the next six weeks, with an option to renew the contract.
<MegaLiz> Yer stuck with months now
<PeeKat> "Let's go to the instant replay?" <SisRose> Worry about it in the morning! <fathertom> lets review it
<PeeKat> Kewl...
<dad> six hours at least
<TheCharli> Let's go to the instant replay... <P-Lil> I SAID WEEKS, NOW.
<RevUni> right on!
<RevUni> groovy!
<PeeKat> ICE: Where's the damned advice? I'm waiting for it, man!
<ICEKNIFE> MAKE her wash her cooter before you start to lickin' down there... she's a punk, and they have CLAMMY COOTRATIONS!!!
<P-Lil> What I say goes. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, it is DONE.
<ICEKNIFE> that is all
<LilOne> this weeding is too fucked up<LilOne> and I meant weeding
<Agent_Wil> I heard there'd be fuckin' and fried chicken, and I haven't seen either
<LilOne> Wil, you should have seen me a few minutes ago
<BBQ_Skin> And no ass-fucking unless preceded by an enema! and NEVER mix latex and oil!
<UncleBear> I like weeding better
<MegaLiz> There was chicken but it ran off <TheCharli> no Wilco... that was frying and fucking chickens...
<RevUni> Hey, just cuz im a punk dont mean i dont BATHE. I mean, GEEZ.
<pope1> I didn't know there was a wedding! <P-Lil> Amen and awomen and ashemales and all that jazz. PRAISE "BOB", you GOTTA KISS EACH OTHER IN UNSPEAKABLE PLACES IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. <dad> come on lilone, you're stealing my jokes <cuthulu> if i'd known it was that kind of party, i'd of stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes <Agent_Wil> Charlie: DOH!
<RevJack> was it a BONELESS chicken?
<RevJack> Hm?
<pope1> Thats what this is?
<LilOne> hahahaha
<PeeKat> You don't HAVE to bathe!
* PeeKat gives Uni a tongue bath
<_Rider> yes, you should have
<UncleBear> it the EGG can fit up there... * BBQ_Skin is getting it ALL ON TAPE
<RevUni> oh yeah!
* PeeKat has been drinking Cherry KoolAid, so Uni is now bright red, of course...
<Agent_Wil> Foreplay! Alright!
<fathertom> This is too dang mushy
<MegaLiz> If it was boneless it couldn't a run couldit?
<LilOne> mushy my ass
<RevJack> it could ROLL
<BBQ_Skin> Mushy is OK.
<PeeKat> Mushy?
<PeeKat> MUSHY?
<fathertom> Lets have some action
<PeeKat> Fine!
* BBQ_Skin offers PK the potato masher
<dad> are you serving any food at this shindig? <MegaLiz> Waddaya want us to STAPLE them TOGETHER?!?
<RevUni> Man...i thought I told ya to drink the grren koolaid, but i'll just HAVE to deal with it... :)
<P-Lil> This service brought to you by The Church of the Skullfarmer's Daughter, Unlimited. Unauthorized broadcast is strictly DEMANDED. * LilOne needs a drink
* PeeKat sticks his arm into Uni's cooter <P-Lil> Now, where's the nipple rings and the needle?
<LilOne> anyone want to join me?
* fathertom starts fire his shotgun into the air <dad> RevUni - just don't try the punch, it's awful
<BBQ_Skin> Join you to what?
* PeeKat reaches up and grabs the inner cavities <fathertom> now thats better
* _Rider has her drink
* pope1 needs to go to school tomorrow! L8er ppl! * ICEKNIFE merrily pours everclear on the whole celebration and strikes a MATCH of LOVE and PURIFICATION...
*** pope1 has quit IRC (Leaving)
*** UncleBear has quit IRC (Leaving)
* PeeKat starts caressing and fondling Uni's organs
<LilOne> Uni, you never looked better
<BBQ_Skin> aw.. this is so tender..
<RevUni> thanks Lil
<P-Lil> And remeber, we're using COINS instead of rice... and throw it at ME, not THEM.
<PeeKat> Now she's REALLY red...
<dad> yeah, now that you've burned the place down, I'm outta here
* MegaLiz wanders off to curl up and dream of neveryoumind
<SisRose> them kids is glowing!
*** dad has quit IRC (Leaving)
<TheCharli> Oh, shit PK .... now she'll never find a bag to match that outfit...
<fathertom> subgeniuses roastin' on a hot tin roof <BBQ_Skin> Put on the Barry Manilow.
* PeeKat throws several pieces O 8 at Lil <LilOne> aren't they a cute couple
<BBQ_Skin> Smoke on the water..
*** MegaLiz has quit IRC ((Connection reset in cement))
<LilOne> can't smile without you....
* BBQ_Skin gets out the JAR OF PENNIES
<fathertom> eat the worm
<ICEKNIFE> BACK UP, pigs... you know the groom gets to pleen fuck her first!
*** LilOne is now known as TraciLynn
<_Rider> yes they are
<ICEKNIFE> spleen
<SisRose> Uni said it ain't no worm!
* PeeKat hooks an electocurrent generator up to Uni's body, making her blood boil and writhe in that sexy way he loves
<P-Lil> We need PEE DOG to annoint the newlyweds for good luck....
<_Rider> oh yeah?
<cuthulu> i want to marry <_Rider> hummmmmmmmmm
<fathertom> shure it ain't
<BBQ_Skin> I'm short on pee right now.. maybe it's my prostate..
<P-Lil> Video cameras trained on the lovely couple... microphones all set up....
<TraciLynn> I have some I could give
<_Rider> lol
<BBQ_Skin> Anyone got that 3d camera set up? <P-Lil> Somebody's gotta be Pee Dog. I can't, I gotta man the cameras.
*** TheCharli is now known as PeeDog
<PeeDog> woof?
<ICEKNIFE> you find it easier to pee as an amatuer? less pressure?
<PeeKat> PeeDog!
<Agent_Wil> holocam
* _Rider stands behind Iceknife and gooses him * P-Lil starts handing out the Virtual Reality suits that're wired up to the husband and wife tag-team....
<RevUni> Oh boy!
<BBQ_Skin> Even as an amateur, it's quicker to just beat off half the time..
*** cuthulu is now known as poopdog
<RevUni> Virtual reality? Aw SHIT!
* PeeKat is now known as PeeKat
<PeeDog> <sniff sniff .....hhh h h h h h h h h> woof?
<P-Lil> Hell yes, PEE DOG and POOP DOG... GET 'EM! * ICEKNIFE sets a small fire to warm the fingers of a stoopid woman who actually touched him... <poopdog> rrrrrrrrrrr
<TraciLynn> go boys, get em!
<PeeKat> Reality IS virtual...
<P-Lil> SIC 'EM!
<poopdog> take a bite out of time!
* PeeKat braces for impact
<TraciLynn> sget them, boys
* PeeDog scampers throught the room .. looking for just the right place
<_Rider> thanks Ice I needed that
* poopdog commences squatin and gruntin' * RevUni hides behind PK cuz shes a wimp * P-Lil leads a chant of "Praise 'Bob' Kill 'Bob'" * PeeKat hides behind Uni cuz he's a cruel bastard * poopdog lays a bloody, tick-infested log on the carpet
<RevUni> eeeeek!
<BBQ_Skin> "We could be.. MARRIED?"- Ambush Bug <_Rider> lol
* PeeDog spies someone hiding behind the Hairy One and shiffs 'em out
* PeeKat licks his lips looking at the log <P-Lil> Oh "Bob" Oh "Bob" Gimme SEX Gimme FOOD Gimme MONEY Gimme PILS "Bob"...
<poopdog> puppies!
<Agent_Wil> there's a lot of love in this room <Agent_Wil> buckets
<Agent_Wil> tubs
<P-Lil> Oh "Bob" Oh "Bob" Gimme SEX Gimme FOOD Gimme MONEY Gimme PILS "Bob"...
<P-Lil> Oh "Bob" Oh "Bob" Gimme SEX Gimme FOOD Gimme MONEY Gimme PILS "Bob"...
<P-Lil> Oh "Bob" Oh "Bob" Gimme SEX Gimme FOOD Gimme MONEY Gimme PILS "Bob"...
<Agent_Wil> vats
<poopdog> send more them pils bob
<poopdog> send more them pils
<codepoet> Will work for sex
<poopdog> all hail brak!
<RevUni> gimme gimme yeah, gimme gimme baby, wont you gimme gimme grape juice?
* _Rider brings in the tub of Ice cubes
<poopdog> will sex as work
<BBQ_Skin> Will have sex for more sex
* P-Lil gets out a HUGE Pil and a vat of K-Y * TraciLynn thinks it's time for her to go to bed. *** Boputom ( has joined #subgenius <codepoet> bald head/wooden leg check
*** fathertom has quit IRC (Write error to fathertom[], closing link) <TraciLynn> have ice, will have sex
*** poopdog is now known as buttplug
<P-Lil> Who wants the Pil first, Uni or PeeKat? <BBQ_Skin> sure, we got a real big bed in here.. <TraciLynn> Congrats to PeeKat and Uni
<ICEKNIFE> dream on, gummytwat!
<PeeKat> One two three four BUTTSEX one two three four BUTTSEX!
*** Boputom is now known as fathertom
<RevUni> ME!!!!!!!
<TraciLynn> may your marriage last as long as I blow my nose
<Agent_Wil> Uni, are you knocked up already? <PeeKat> PILs!
* P-Lil greases up the Pil and presses up against Uni's sphincter
<RevUni> yeah. Its my grampas kid. :)
<PeeKat> Wilco!
<P-Lil> Relax, hon, it's not THAT big... <codepoet> ugg
<buttplug> hey i thought this was a family-values channeL!
* RevUni laugs
<PeeKat> Lil: Hey! I resent that! Oh, yer talking about the PIL...
* RevUni laughs
<BBQ_Skin> That's right. We're all one big fambly here.
* PeeDog licks his own balls .. because he can <PeeKat> Man, I bet [PoweR] is sad he missed this...
<buttplug> too bad alan keyes can't be here <P-Lil> The family that PRAYS together... stays in bed together!
* SisRose kisses BBQ
<SisRose> fambly
<Agent_Wil> I was just asking
<codepoet> your grandfather? that makes you my aunt!
<P-Lil> nARSEty?
<RevUni> LOL
* PeeDog wants to lick somebody's face now * P-Lil gives the Pil a shove
*** TraciLynn ( has left #subgenius * BBQ_Skin misinterprets SisRose's signs and starts groping
<PeeKat> No, I thought Wilco was her grampa... <RevUni> Yep. He is.
<Agent_Wil> Yep, I'm gramps
<PeeKat> There ya go then!
<Agent_Wil> Can I call you son?
* SisRose smacks the shit out of BBQ
<fathertom> hey gramps
<PeeKat> Sure, if I can call you Susan... * SisRose looks for a spatula
* P-Lil sweeps all the loose dollar bills into a big pile and pees on them
* BBQ_Skin takes that to be courtship
<RevJack> Oy, my prostate
<codepoet> hell with that, sell the kids *** RevJack ( has left #subgenius <fathertom> dats da bomb
* PeeDog pees on Uni's foot
<RevUni> I killed the kids and ATE THEM. <P-Lil> I got a Pil for yer butt... and I'll install it for FREE... *sings*
<fathertom> I'll give you a fair price for em' <PeeKat> 1 2 3 4 BUTT PILS...
<codepoet> awsome.. im into legs
* P-Lil lubes up the other Pil...
<SisRose> I get them UniBabies! that girl owes me! <P-Lil> PeeKat: You ready for your tribulation, dearie?
<ICEKNIFE> you sad glorplumpcruntywhips... be more "Bob"like in EVERY WAY! NOW
<Agent_Wil> Unibabies command TOP DOLLAR! <PeeKat> I was BORN ready!
* RevUni regurgitates the babies and gives em to Rose
<SisRose> you think that latex bridal girdle was cheap?
<BBQ_Skin> I ain't touchin' no babies. You best jest sell them to rumplestiltskin.
* PeeDog pees on BBQ's leg
<fathertom> I got da moneyes
<ICEKNIFE> I don't want 'em
<ICEKNIFE> ohshit... busted
<BBQ_Skin> Wow! I'll never wash my leg again! * P-Lil presses the *unlubed* Pil hard against PeeKat's virgin fudgetunnel
<Agent_Wil> I remember during the depression, when all we *had* to eat was babies!
<PeeKat> Virgin NUTHIN...
<ICEKNIFE> pretend you never read that... <RevUni> hehehehe!
* _Rider kisses her friends night and tells the couple that she hopes they are happy as she is with hers :)
* PeeKat giggles as the Pil drops right in <Agent_Wil> bye rider
<PeeKat> By Rider!
<SisRose> night Rider!
<P-Lil> Yahhhh!
<BBQ_Skin> David Hasselhoff? NOO!
<RevUni> Bye Rider, darlin... Love ya!
<fathertom> see-ya
<_Rider> BYE peekat
<P-Lil> Christ WEPT, PeeKat, you should've warned me first... I'd have put on my gloves if I knew...
* codepoet
<_Rider> BYE Agent
* P-Lil pulls my bloodied fist out of PeeKat's ass <_Rider> BYE SIS
<PeeKat> Sorry about that!
<_Rider> BYE UNi
* PeeKat licks Lil's hand clean
<P-Lil> Get under the nails too, boy.
* PeeKat obeys
* ICEKNIFE pulls STANG out of PeeKItty's butt <buttplug> !shoot
<PeeKat> Mmmm...blood...
<PeeKat> Hey! Put him back!
<P-Lil> And I didn't even put on my PVC nun's habit first....
<PeeKat> He was doing my spring cleaning! <codepoet> i dont obey unless i get $5 outta it <SisRose> maybe you kids should head for the honeymoon now....
<RevUni> LOL!
<SisRose> it's gettin' ugly
<RevUni> Good Idea, Rose. THANK YOU...
<Agent_Wil> In full view of all of us!
* PeeKat grabs Stang and re-butts him... <ICEKNIFE> and now, for my next trick... nuthin up my sleeve...
<Agent_Wil> this IS the honeymoon!
<P-Lil> I like it UGLY.
<BBQ_Skin> I don't obey unless I get off on it. * _Rider whispers one last thing to UNi... If he acts up shoot him there are others
<P-Lil> Keep those cameras ROLLING.
<codepoet> is re-butt = re-mount?
<_Rider> see ya PeeKat
<_Rider> lol
<Agent_Wil> riser: hahah
* RevUni grins at Rider
<PeeKat> Hey...none like ME...
<P-Lil> I gotta change outfits... BRB
* SisRose makes BBQ put a spatula up his own ass <PeeKat> Bye Rider!
* PeeKat hugs Rider goodboy
<Agent_Wil> Keeel
<_Rider> bye lover
<PeeKat> or goodbye, whatever :)
*** _Rider has quit IRC (I have promises to keep and miles and miles to go before I sleep) * PeeDog is feeling randy ... and looking for a nearby leg...
<BBQ_Skin> Jeez.. I never got the last one out.. * SisRose takes off her legs
* BBQ_Skin is walking distinctly strangely now. <codepoet> stumpy
<PeeDog> woof?
* RevUni sticks out her leg to Pee on me. I love that shit. ;)
<BBQ_Skin> Oh, man, are you going to stick the legs up there now too?
<ICEKNIFE> yeah bye hon
* PeeKat pees on RevUni
*** buttplug is now known as magic_her
<ICEKNIFE> damn... i b slowwwww
<codepoet> bye all
* PeeKat gets into a territory war with PeeDog *** codepoet ( has left #Subgenius <RevUni> waaaarrrrrmmmmmm....
* RevUni vibrates
<fathertom> crazy man
* PeeDog is looking for a leg to hump
*** magic_her is now known as beano
* BBQ_Skin 's feet are sticking out at 180 degree angles too each other.
* PeeKat watches the pee splatter off the vibrating Uni
<RevUni> Wilco will let you hump his leg! <PeeKat> Duck!
* PeeKat watches pee splattering EVERYWHERE * P-Lil cues the Milwaukee Metro Area All-Pederast Choir in a round of "Tra-la-la-BOOM-de-ay" <ICEKNIFE> jeezuz, and friday isn't even here <SisRose> he's awful small, hump BOTH his legs! <Agent_Wil> Wilco will PAY you!
<PeeKat> Who needs Friday? It's SUNDAY... <P-Lil> This is SO... romantic!
* BBQ_Skin 's shoulders are hunched up real tight against his cheekbones..
* P-Lil bats my lashes at Rosa
* PeeKat mounts Uni and starts peeing into her bellybutton
* SisRose eats Lil's bats
* BBQ_Skin gets jealous
<beano> bbl
<RevUni> AW YEAH!
<RevUni> damn!
<SisRose> P-lil, let's "play" with BBQ
<PeeKat> Now what?
* RevUni makes PeeKat lick up all his urine <RevUni> :)
<P-Lil> BBQ: Hey now, Rose's... heart... is big enough for both of us!
* PeeKat licks up all his urine
<fathertom> this is scary man
<BBQ_Skin> Woo-hoo! Each of you, grab hold of a spatula!
<PeeKat> Recycling is EVERYBODY'S duty, guys. <P-Lil> I can put my whole hand in there... <ICEKNIFE> see, now, that's why yer all trained to think sex is NAUGHTY... so you'll spend ALL your time on it, while SOMEONE is GNAWING your ASS... and no, when the CON does it, it's NOT sex... but nevermind M... just go one getting hustled by tv mentality, you fuckin GOOBS! <PeeDog> woof?
<P-Lil> Both hands, actually.
<P-Lil> Can't clap though--not quite big enough. <PeeKat> Ice: Uh...what?
<RevUni> ummmm. oKAY.
<fathertom> aww iceknife sicken' it to yah * P-Lil embraces Rose in a lusty snuggle <BBQ_Skin> Ice: Uh, sure. You're the old coot in all the '80s teen comedies, aren't you?
<ICEKNIFE> NENSLO IN A CLAM SHELL, BAY-BEEEE * P-Lil embraces BBQ in a lusty scissor-lock <RevUni> and then....the retards hissed past my window
* PeeDog pees on fathertom's leg .. but it's nothing personal
* SisRose prepares the rubber bands
* BBQ_Skin embraces P-Lil and Rose in a lusty spatula-lock
<fathertom> awww thats it
<P-Lil> Gee, somebody *is* logging this, right? <RevUni> Lil: i am, dearie.
* fathertom reloads his shot gun
<SisRose> I didn't bring the logs just the glue! <P-Lil> Rusty spatulas? Ewwwwww, squick. <fathertom> Dog any one?
* SisRose grabs the duct tape
<P-Lil> "What happened to my Lincoln Logs...?" <BBQ_Skin> Well, I'd oil them, but now that we've got the latex out..
<Agent_Wil> Oh where did they go?
<P-Lil> I know where those Lincoln Logs are... but you don't want to take them OUT of there... * BBQ_Skin 's skin starts to crawl in anticipation. .
<ICEKNIFE> Like "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee? Like you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee. Like "Bob" gives a fuck if you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee.
<ICEKNIFE> Like "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee? Like you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee. Like "Bob" gives a fuck if you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee.
*** RevJack has left IRC
<ICEKNIFE> Like "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee? Like you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee. Like "Bob" gives a fuck if you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee.
<ICEKNIFE> Like "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee? Like you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee. Like "Bob" gives a fuck if you give a fuck if "Bob" gives a fuck where you pee.
* PeeKat pulls Uni into the nearest toilet * P-Lil smothers BBQ with my Goddess buttocks <BBQ_Skin> mmmmmph...
* PeeDog pees on ICEKNIFE's leg ... just because <fathertom> Pee is an exstention of SLACK <PeeKat> WHICH is the REAL iceknife? Only THEY know...
* SisRose put the high heels on BBQ's dainty feets * BBQ_Skin waggles his tongue around, uh, lustily..
<BBQ_Skin> WOO HOO! 14DDD!
<P-Lil> Hmm, is that your NOSE or your TONGUE I feel, BBQ?
<RevUni> ah SHIT.
<SisRose> I"m feeling his toes. they'd look good with a little color
<P-Lil> I hope it's your tongue, because if it's your nose you better blow it...
<BBQ_Skin> Mmmm.. the nose has more of a twitching motion, while the tongue is moving ina complex geometric pattern.
<Agent_Wil> paint them sum'bitches!
<ICEKNIFE> my landlady is going to hell with my face tatooed on her eyelids
* PeeDog pees in P-Lil's leg .. cause he doesn't want her to feel left out
<fathertom> i'm your boogie man thats what I am and I'm here to do what ever I can
* SisRose grabs the "Pretty Princess Pink" cutex nail polish
<PeeKat> Tom: Ack! That song bites...
* P-Lil sings "Snot Up Yer Butt" while wriggling back and forth on BBQ's face

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian

--> You can fight the Conspiracy of Normalcy and get back your Slack! --> Send $1 to Church of the SubGenius / PO Box 140306 / Dallas TX 75214 --> Or visit alt.slack or FTP to for info

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Original file name: IRC Wedding

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