This newsgroup certainly looks WEIRD through AOL!
I rarely use my AOL account, but apparently Zippo, which I normally use
for newsgroups, is DOWN, or something. And this is the new "AOL 3.0" for
the Mac, which I must admit works SHITLOADS better than AOL-on-a-Mac used
to work.
On the other hand, I can tell there are a lot of posts missing. Zippo is
IFFY, but by gobbs, when they're on, they're ON, and you get ALL POSTS
from all over the Net. AOL used to be my newsgroup fall-back but I
dunno... it looks like they're slipping too. The... End... Times...
We're ALL slippin'. We all have Alzheimers, probably from the wiring in
our walls, and it's the End Times.
PRAISE FUCKIN' DOBBS!
I can't tell, therefore, whether or not I already sent the essay which
follows.
McConville, the ID of Dobbs, told us yesterday that we here at the
Foundation could now be emailed as stang@subgenius.com and
jesus@subgenius.com, nickie@subgenius.com etc., but gol heck durn it, I
tried to send myself mail, and it didn't work! You are welcome to try,
because any minute now, it probably will.
Soon, I have a feeling, I will become friends with the nice people at
InterNic. And I'm going to have to read yet another manual, about server
machines and email servers and listserves and majordomos and all like
that, and when I'm done, in theory we'll be able to SELL YOU the address
(YOURNAME)@subgenius.com, for like $35 every 6 months or something? I
dunno, that's the Lord's dept.
********
EMAILING FROP
Rev. Ivan Stang
Sometimes you eat something that tastes so good, you want to somehow
forward the taste from your brain to your friends' mouths. Actually, you'd
want to redirect it, not forward it; if you forwarded it, the taste would
have those little reprint-dinglies all over it.
You can email sounds, and SIGHTS; you can even email them in 3D. You can
send exactly what each eyeball saw -- slightly low-res compared to the
real world, but still, GOOD ENOUGH. Why not with taste?
You're checking your email... why look, your friend says that for some
reason, the burgers were especially good today at Burger Max; either that,
or he was really stoned. He wants you to tell him which it was, so he has
sent a .TST format attachment holding the burger's taste.
You pick up your Mouth Mouse Taste Strip, stick it in your mouth, push
PLAY, and just chew away on it. "MAN!" you answer him back. "That IS
really good for a Burger Max burger. But not THAT good... I think you were
fried. It was probably the weed talkin'. But I can't tell you for sure,
'cause I'm fried right now too, teed!"
Of course, instead of typing that message as a letter, you'd say it into
your microphone, and send it as a .WAV file. But first you'd say, "Tell ya
what, dude, tell me how THIS tastes." And you'd pick up your Mouth Funnel,
light up a 'Fropstick, take a big hit, then push RECORD and blow the hit
into the funnel, real hard. Smoke would come out of the back of your PC
while it processed it, and he would then get a file that he could
decompress and drop into SmokePlayer 3.0.
Sure, when he sucked that "frappy" hit from his Mouth Funnel, it would
have your breath mixed in with it, and it'd be pretty low-res in content.
(Low-res -- get it?) But! -- after that first hit, he could just hit PLAY
again.
Most would probably just set it to "LOOP" PLAY.
For this is a crooked and perverse nation, my friends. These are the Last
Days.
"We are living in perilous and chaotic times. And these times are not
gonna get any better, my friend. No, they're gonna get worse, and worse."
(2nd Timothy Leary 3:10, MB:1-3 side1, SubSITE Bank3 Unit 19 Quadrant 70).
Rev. Ivan Stang
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
i.stang@metronet.com
http://www.subgenius.com
Original file name: Gol Durn That ZIPPO
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