3-27-99 DALLAS VIDEO FEST

"X-DAY 98" SHOWING...

... A TOTAL DISASTER!

THANK GOD IT'S ONLY 100 DAYS 'TILL X-DAY!!

Even though I personally oversaw the dubbing of the special 1-hour version of this video, somehow, the copy they projected up on the big screen, OR the projector itself, or both, was/were FUCKED. Every time a bright scene came along, the picture broke up into headache-inducing static. And the whole last third of the video is VERY BRIGHT (7 am 7-5-98). So the showing SUCKED and would have been terribly embarrassing had there been more than 25 people in there to begin with. But, all that only makes it a TYPICAL Dallas SubGenius Video showing. There is a CURSE on Dallas SubGenius video shows, I think. FIGURES. Dallas. PHOOEY.

ALMOST FORGOT! The Dallas Morning News ran a series of capsule reviews of all the videos showing on Thursday night. Damn, Jesus has the copy, but if I recall correctly it went something like:

"X-Day" -- The irreverent Rev. Ivan Stang and the Church of the SubGenius celebrate their mistakenly anticipated judgement day with sex, violence and crucifixions. Heady dumbness."

"Heady dumbness."

THE POSTER!!

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"X-DAY 1998 -- The Movie"

IF YOU BELIEVE... YOU CAN LEAVE.

"HEADY DUMBNESS!!" -- Dallas Morning News

"BRILLIANT STUPIDITY!!" -- The Oklahoma Tribune

"A SOARING WALLOW!" -- The Ft. Worth Star Telegram

Coming soon to a Theater Near You.

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On the other hand, the projection of my friend Mickey Grant's compilation of wrestling matches of the 70s, THE VON ERICHS REMEMBERED, looked fine and was attanded by a big audience of Von Erich fans. (The Von Erichs were a famous family of Texas wrestlers, of whom only my website client Kevin Von Erich survives. Their trademark was a deadly, unbreakable grip called "The Iron Claw".)

The new version of http://www.vonerich.com is now up and running. SubGenii will find certain aspects of the VIDEO PRODUCTS and ORDER FORM section frighteningly familiar. "Webmaestro," who runs the site, seems to be attempting to copy my writing style! He sure uses lots of CAPS, anyway. AND he says "anyway" a lot. "IRONCLAW" runs the Von Erich fan club and mail order aspects... little do the Von Erich fans know that there's a website elsewhere dedicated entirely to "IRONCLAW"'s ASS. I want everybody to notice the little twitching animated claw hand on some pages. I made that, and all the buttons and graphics and logos, all by myself! (I'd'a rather hired Friday Jones to do those, but she was out of my price range on THIS job.)

LADIES (and 'MOs): this wrestling website I'm talking about essentially consists of this: HUNDREDS OF PICTURES OF EXTREMELY BUFF ALMOST-NEKKID YOUNG MEN IN TINY BIKINIS GRAPPLING URGENTLY WITH EACH OTHER. (Kinda makes me NERVOUS working with these images!) Most wrestling fans, of course, are strictly into the SPORT and SKILL of it all. Most of the fan email DOES seem to be from women, though.

I keep wondering why working on this wrestling fan web site seems so NORMAL, and I just realized: in wrestling, they all have FAKE NAMES TOO.

Why do I ALWAYS find myself in the places where EVERYBODY HAS A FAKE NAME? Every BAND I know is a "novelty band" on some level in which the members are "characters." Every CULT RELIGION or BULLDADA CULT that we intersect with, same thing.

The slippery, sly people? Not likely! Fake names ATTRACT the ConCops. It's The SHOW-OFFS. The "OR KILL ME" people. The "Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take a Joke" people.

Tomorrow at the video festival they show -- among about 100 other things -- THE CU CHI TUNNELS, which Mickey Grant directed and I wrote/editted. That's actually a VERY GOOD FILM, a powerful and wrenching Vietnam war documentary, but it's "as told and shot by the Viet Cong." It doesn't get shown much in the U.S. The film was made several years ago, but Mickey chopped this new version down to 1 hour instead of 90 minutes. (I'm a vehement anti-Communist myself, but TALK ABOUT INTERESTING PROJECTS!!! WHOoooo-BOY!)

I find it ironic that you can buy THE VON ERICHS REMEMBERED but not THE CU CHI TUNNELS.

This is truly a crooked and perverse nation. Although I'll grant you that THE CU CHI TUNNELS does feature an inordinate number of unsightly one-armed people... far more one-armed people than one sees in most documentary features. That probably cut down on its marketability.

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