We Are Going to Hell

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack,alt.usenet.kooks,alt.foot.fat-free
Subject: Re: We Are Going to Hell
Date: Mon, 08 Feb 1999 17:18:17 -0500
Organization: Lou Minotti & the Clamsauce Enema Band
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Phoenix wrote:

> In article <i.stang-0702992107110001@fcn105-147.tmi.net>, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>
> >WE ARE ALL GONNA BURN
>
> Cool. Call someone up down there and have them reserve me a room.
>
> >Not you.
>
> WHY NOT me?? Certainly turning New America into an even more
> fascist police state than it already was warrants something. The
> campaign to draft you as chaplain of the HipCrime Collective (now
> that the original's been removed from office) should've at least gotten
> me a walk across the coals.
>
> >We here at The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. Me and Jesus. My god,
> >what has Jesus gotten us into this time?
> >
> >We had discussed this and it seemed like a good idea, in the boardroom...
>
> It always does. That's why boardrooms are indispensably important to
> the public dysfunction of a good organization.
>
> >I got a message from Jesus today with a URL and some code and a picture.
> >"SO IT FINALLY COMES TO THIS," the Lord said. "We are behind in our web
> >server payments. Therefore, put this code on the front page of SubSITE and
> >every time somebody clicks on it we make money."
>
> Hmm. Wonder if lart.com could pull this off. Everyone there has absolutely
> no shame whatsoever in being greedy....
>
> >So I did that, and now we have our first PORNO BANNER ADS. It goes to a
> >RAUNCHY, RAUNCHY hard core porno site -- a very professionally done one --
> >called, appropriately enough I suppose, "UNFAITHFUL (Don't Get Caught)".
> >And, well garsh, it even shocked me. Right now, the SubSITE home page is
> >ONE CLICK away from "BIG FAT HORNY BITCHES! LIVE!" and "See the amazing
> >BUTT-CAM! We Get Right Up In There!" -- and 2 clicks from "SHAVED TEENAGE
> >PUSSIES!"
>

I found a site yesterday that's "Ugly Chicks!"

"Tired of All the Svelte Models?" "Try 'Ugly Chicks'"

It was interesting, and tastefully done. Old women in raincoats,
Phillis Diller look-alikes...if I can find it again, I'll post the URL.

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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack,alt.friday
Subject: Re: We Are Going to Hell
Date: Mon, 08 Feb 1999 08:13:09 -0400
Organization: PARTS
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In article <i.stang-0702992107110001@fcn105-147.tmi.net>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>WE ARE ALL GONNA BURN
>
>Not you. We here at The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. Me and Jesus. My god,
>what has Jesus gotten us into this time?
>
>We had discussed this and it seemed like a good idea, in the boardroom...
>
>I got a message from Jesus today with a URL and some code and a picture.
>"SO IT FINALLY COMES TO THIS," the Lord said. "We are behind in our web
>server payments. Therefore, put this code on the front page of SubSITE and
>every time somebody clicks on it we make money."
>
>So I did that, and now we have our first PORNO BANNER ADS. It goes to a
>RAUNCHY, RAUNCHY hard core porno site -- a very professionally done one --
>called, appropriately enough I suppose, "UNFAITHFUL (Don't Get Caught)".
>And, well garsh, it even shocked me. Right now, the SubSITE home page is
>ONE CLICK away from "BIG FAT HORNY BITCHES! LIVE!" and "See the amazing
>BUTT-CAM! We Get Right Up In There!" -- and 2 clicks from "SHAVED TEENAGE
>PUSSIES!"
>
>I was a bit taken aback myself, that's how graphic it is. A bit. Mainly
>it's FUNNY to me. But... my MOM and DAD! My brother in law! They may not
>UNDERSTAND that this was the only company that would BUY AD SPACE FROM US!
>We DID make 60 cents just from Jesus and me checking it a few times.

OK, I'm updating my bookmarks file. From now on, instead of going directly
to the Updates page, I'll go to the front, click on the smut banner, then
back up and go to where I was really going.
If ALL of you do that, then the banner will show INCREDIBLE click-through
and "Bob" will be able to sell MORE advertising space!
So get clicking and licking!

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

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From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Subject: Re: We Are Going to Hell
Followup-To: poster
Date: 8 Feb 1999 05:50:00 GMT
Organization: First Online Church of "Bob"
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Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> So I did that, and now we have our first PORNO BANNER ADS. It goes to a
> RAUNCHY, RAUNCHY hard core porno site -- a very professionally done one --
> called, appropriately enough I suppose, "UNFAITHFUL (Don't Get Caught)".
> And, well garsh, it even shocked me. Right now, the SubSITE home page is
> ONE CLICK away from "BIG FAT HORNY BITCHES! LIVE!" and "See the amazing
> BUTT-CAM! We Get Right Up In There!" -- and 2 clicks from "SHAVED TEENAGE
> PUSSIES!"

Uhh...what about the pictures of big horny bitches right there on SubSITE?

And more importantly, why didn't you put that porn-click link in the
Psychedelic Porno Art Gallery, which is supposedly the most popular
section on the entire site?

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

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From: gggordon@subgenius.com (G G Gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Subject: Re: We Are Going to Hell
Date: Mon, 08 Feb 1999 04:43:14 GMT
Organization: Greenehelle
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On Sun, 07 Feb 1999 21:07:11 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan
Stang) wrote:

>
>"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
>when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
> -- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume
>

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