In article <n-2204972046210001@ip-pdx17-04.teleport.com>, n@n.slo (NENSLO)
wrote:
> In article <9704211108.AA27860@alpha>, reports@mic.dundee.ac.uk wrote:
>
> > TEL AVIV, Israel (April 19, 1997 8:19 p.m. EDT) -- Ice cream made from
> > camel milk may not sound like a treat, but it could be a stopgap
> > solution to mass hunger in drought-stricken Africa, an Israeli
> ^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> That's the tricky bit there. Liking it.
>
I'll bet those starving people aren't as picky as, say, my daughter.
This doesn't have a damn thing to do with ice cream made from camel's milk,
Nenslo, but when Mrs. Stang and I woke up this morning, there was BLOOD ALL
OVER THE BEDROOM FLOOR!!! It looked exactly like a brutal murder had been
committed.
My largest guard dog, Beast, has diskoid lupus on his nose and lately he's
been having spontaneous nosebleeds. I guess he bumped it or something the
first time, and it keeps getting re-opened.
We were awake when this happened before. It's pretty ghastly. The blood
doesn't just RUN out, it SHOOT S OUT IN SPURTS in a FINE FINE THIN SPRAY
which then gets BIGGER and THICKER. The dog keeps his head pointed straight
down at the floor, and he LICKS UP THE BLOOD THAT IS SPRAYING FROM HIS
NOSE. Onliest problem was, last night, he was on the CARPET. Me wandered
around the room, while we snored on, soaking several spots. We spent 2
hours this morning using a special carpet cleaner device and stain remover.
One was forced to consider things like O.J. and, in more local ghastly
murders, the darlie Routier case.
This doesn't have a damn thing to do with ice cream made from camel's milk,
either, but I do know this, if I was gonna go looking for women to pick up,
I'd go to a health food store. I was thinking about that. I don't DO that
but I do THINK about it. I guess a bar would make the most sense, but then
they would be DRUNKS. Whereas in a health food store you're more likely to
meet one of these liberated hippie moms that frops. Just the regular
supermarket, no good, full of squares. The problem with the health food
store gals is that there's a good chance she (or he I guess, this would
apply either way) would be some sort of blithering kook or New Ager who
thought "Bob" was negative, which, for Pinks, I guess is true.
But what got me thinking about that, Nenslo, was the hippie KID at the
check-out counter. Very pleasant kid but Nenslo, he had just been out back
for a smoke break. Now, this has only happened to me a few times, yet,
but... I smelled the cigarets on him and JESUS, it REALLY STINKS! Kinda
almost made me nauseous. I have been off the cigs totally for 4 months or
so now, and am now also free of the Master Molecule entirely, and now I see
why you non smoker wimp pussies complain to much.
I will not complain, though. Smokers are welcome to smoke in my house, at
least in my office. I will never be a non smoker because non smokees are
PATHETIC FUCKING LOSERS AND WHINERS. I am a PROUD SUICIDAL SMOKER who just
HAPPENS not to smoke cigarets any more. So don't get me wrong. But I
thought of you and Mrs. Nenslo and how I must have stunk up you house that
one time.
The other day my daughter came in with a passle of male friends I had not
met before. She later told me they were nervous about coming in "because
your dad might smell the WEED on us, man." Sivet reassured them that I
would probably be unable to detect it on THEM and that they had nothing to
worry about.
Sivet SAYS she doesn't smoke pot or cigarets, or drink, or do anything that
we as parents would fret about. She has not specifically mentioned black
tar heroin, crack or PCP.
KIDS. Whatcha gonna do.
But about smoking. If you smoke THROUGH camel milk it filters out some of
the stink, but then the smoke tastes weird and you have to fry and eat an
ostrich egg to get rid of the camel milk taste.
To the SMOKER, Nenslo, the NONSMOKER smells only of its CHEESY SWEAT and
PERFUME, if it bears any odor at all (Nenslo, you read PERFUME by that
german guy? GREAT murder novel based on SCENT). No problem. But nonsmoker's
MOUTHS TASTE LIKE SPIT AND FOOD, INSTEAD OF HAVING THAT NICE NEUTRAL
CIGARET/ASHTRAY TASTE!
Just theorizing of course.
Well alright, I'll come out and just SAY it. Nenslo, I liked kissing you
MUCH better back when we BOTH SMOKED!
--
Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
Original file name: Camel milk ice cream
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