In article <i.stang-ya02408000R2005981816380001@enews.newsguy.com>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
> FUCK IT ALL, ANYWAY. The Church of the SubGenius is now The Church of the
> Inside Joke, and it won't bother any Christians or other religious nuts,
> any more.
>
>To: i.stang@metronet.com
>From: Simple|Net <abuse.review@simplenet.com>
>Subject: Account Suspension:subgenius.com
>Cc: slack@metronet.com
>
>
>
>Account name: subgenius.com
>
>We have received numerous complaints that your account is involved in
>violations of SimpleNets' policies. Your account was originally activated
>based on your review and acceptance of those policies. You have contracted
>to be bound by the provisions of the policies. To refresh your memory
>concerning our policies please refer to
>http://www.simplenet.com/policies.html
>
>SIMPLENET HAS SUSPENDED YOUR WEB ACCOUNT. YOU HAVE 72 HOURS WITHIN WHICH
>YOU CAN BRING YOUR ACCOUNT INTO COMPLIANCE. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT
>IN CANCELLATION.
>
>It is most likely that the complaints relate to but are not limited to;
>adult content, unsolicited e-mail (spam), mp3 files, or copyright
>violations.
>
>We appreciate your support of SimpleNet as your service provider and desire
>to continue to serve you. To that end we encourage you to bring your
>account into compliance within the time allowed. Unfortunately we are not
>in a position to aid you in this task, compliance is your responsibility.
>
>Thank you for your anticipated actions to remain a valuable SimpleNet customer.
>
>Thank you,
>SimpleNet
Folks, I will admit that I had a REAL rough day yesterday. When someone
else got home from work, she took one look at me and could tell by the
thousand-yard-stare that I was NOT in good shape. She helped straighten
everything out... so did my old grizzled buddies, Sterno and GGGordon. I
was kinda bent out of shape. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I shouldn't TRY
antidepressants.
It started with the air conditioner breaking. I guess it just ran out of
Freon or whatever gas they use now. It's still getting power. But... this
is Texas. My office is full of electronic machines and tape decks and video
decks and etc., that are all running all the time. It's 90 fucking degrees
in here.
And my broken tooth hurts.
And I have sometimes felt like I was damned if I do, and damned if I don't.
Sometimes it seems like all my old buddy SubGenius compadres and
collaborators, the Original Apostles, think I only pay attention to the NEW
Doktors, ranters and Internet Subs... while all the newer SubGenii accuse
me of only hanging with my old-timer Hierarchite buddies.
This is not actually the way it IS. it just started to SEEM that way. I got
a couple of emails that I took the wrong way.
And then to find out that SimpleNet had CANCELED SubSITE.... JEEEZ!
Things are getting back to normal though. I have a fan pulling cool air
from downstairs. SimpleNet won't EVEN tell us what we did that violates
rules; they just want us GONE. I have a suspicion that SimpleNet is caving
in either to the Bob-Larsonite Christian fundamentalists or the dedicated
Spammers, neither of whom can bear criticism. I dunno... they won't say.
Luckily, Modemac IMMEDIATELY told us about "bluegravity.com"... Jesus
phoned 'em and it looks like we'll (SIGH) move the website AGAIN. (This'll
be the third move in 3 months.) Popess Lilith also mentioned a possible
non-chickenshit server.
We made fun of religions. We showed naked people. We cussed.
AND BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, WE WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO!!!
--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Went over to www.simplenet.com and peeked at their policies page and I
think I may have found the problem -
* Lawful Purpose
*SimpleNet reserves the right to refuse service to anyone. Customers may
only use *SimpleNet's server for lawful purpose. Transmission of any
material in violation *of any Federal, State or Local regulation is
prohibited. This includes, but is *not limited to copyrighted material,
material legally judged to be threatening or *obscene, and material
protected by trade secrets. SimpleNet expressly forbids *anyone from using
SimpleNet's servers for the propagation, distribution, housing,
*processing, storing, or otherwise handling in any way lewd, obscene, or
*pornographic material, or any other material which we deem to be
objectionable, *including, but not limited to, pornography, satanic
materials, and any and all
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*materials of an adult nature. The designation of any materials as such
described
* above is left entirely to the discretion of SimpleNet management.
Garsh, guess "Bob" just wasn't kiddie-safe enough for them. Anyone
interested in a lawsuit re: religious discrimination against Satanists?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: e/wbear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear)
Someone once told me (maybe it was my dad) that making enemies is a sure
sign that you're doing the right thing. Now if the only way to know you're
actually free is to speak out about what you truly believe, then enemies
you will make. Take it for what it is. A mark of achievement.
As for Bob... he may be a myth, but like all myths he's grounded in
reality. The legend of a solitary figure who turns against the conspiracy
to fight for the common people is a classic tale that rings true for a lot
of folks. There may not be any flying saucers, and our friends and lovers
may have to stand in for the Love Goddesses (not a bad alternative
really)... but you and I both know the Con is real. It ain't no joke
brother, and fighting it is what it's all about. If this wasn't true, then
the Church would not have survived as long as it has.
Anyway, that's my dos centavos on the subject, and for once I'm not just
blowing wind. Take it as a note of thanks for all the fine work you folks
have done over the years. I've been watching and listening, and so have a
lot of other folks.
e/w bear / AKA Dr. Vole
damn right! I ponied up my $30.
Don't think I'd miss out on the end-times did you?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>
IrRev. Friday Jones <friday@subgenius.com> wrote in article
<friday-ya02408000R2105981936030001@news.tiac.net>...
> Garsh, guess "Bob" just wasn't kiddie-safe enough for them. Anyone
> interested in a lawsuit
well.
it sure as HELL is good to know,
that this CHURCH was
FOUNDED
on the ability to
READ THE FINE PRINT.
praBOB and ALL SALESMAN!!!!
--
"the middle is hard."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wsmiii@ix.SPAMMENOTnetcom.com (Little Bill)
In article <e/wbear-ya02408000R2105981811320001@news.direct.ca>,
e/wbear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear) wrote:
> As for Bob... he may be a myth, but like all myths he's grounded in
> reality.
"Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be."
--
When I imagine a tree, I am not spectating a resemblance;
I am resembling a spectator. - Ryle
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst)
You sly ol' slack-filled DOG, YOU: the Koans flow like shit off some
shit-repellent fabric, and even when they don't we have the ancients to
guide us:
Tosui was the Zen master who left the formalism of temples to live under
a bridge with beggars. When he was getting very old, a friend helped him
to earn his living without begging. He showed Tosui how to collect rice
and manufacture vinegar from it, and Tosui did this until he passed away
While Tosui was making vinegar, one of the beggars gave him a picture of
the Buddha. Tosui hung it on the wall and put a sign beside it:
"Mr. Amida Buddha: This little room is quite narrow. I can let you remain
as a transient. But don't think I am asking you to help me to be reborn in
your paradise."
Knowin' me and knowin' you, uh huh
axel
Ibid
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hattan@fastlane.net (John Hattan)
Just keep a stiff upper lip and remember that it's always darkest right
before that weird guy who lives down the street drags you under his
porch and sodomizes you.
John "I got a candy bar for not telling" Hattan
---
John Hattan High UberPopeness -The First Church of Shatnerology
The Code Zone Sweet Software for a Saturnine World
hattan@fastlane.net http://www.fastlane.net/~hattan/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Reminds me of my newest favorite t-shirt, "Scream until your Daddy
stops!"
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <01bd853b$29299e80$070c9ace@ecsis>, kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net says...
>
>well.
>
>it sure as HELL is good to know,
>
>that this CHURCH was
>
>FOUNDED
>
>on the ability to
>
>READ THE FINE PRINT.
Kevbob, there's no reason to believe that SimpleNet's AUP had the "satanic
material" clause in there prior to Larson's phone interview with Stang. In fact
I'm looking for signs that the page was recently modified. Hmm. That gives me
an idea....
*a few minutes later*
Damn, they have their web server configured so it doesn't report the Last
Modified date. Oh well, it would've been SO NEAT if we found out SimpleNet was
dicking Stang around, rather than enforcing an existing policy he didn't know
about.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> AND BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, WE WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO!!!
>
Before you try the "CROOK" option again, you might try the "HOOK"
option--
that is--go FULLY ADULT in content. Link up with the servers who
provide
for the porn sites, even get a subgenius.adult suffix, and exchange
banners
with "Teenage Anal Lust", etc.
Don't knock it--those guys get more hits than microsoft.com, and if
only
a fraction of the teenage boys and pervs hit the SubSite banner by
mistake,
it would probably pay for itself.
Be sure to make banners like:
"**TOTALLY FREE** bug porn"
"SEX LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE"
"BIGGEST TwITS ON THE INTERNET!"
The $30 fee is for "Members Only".
Hell, a.b.s. should be able to produce enough content in one
afternoon...
HOOK, LINE AND STANGKER.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>
Popess Lilith von Fraumench <mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com>
wrote in article <6k4855$ke2@enews3.newsguy.com>...
> Kevbob, there's no reason to believe that SimpleNet's AUP had the
"satanic
> material" clause in there prior to Larson's phone interview with Stang.
nor did i intend to make it seem as though,
i was even regarding that clause at all.
interestingly enough,
of all the clauses that friday had posted,
the ONE that i
referred to
was the one that said, in effect,
they reserve the right to not offer service to
anyone
at any time.
so,
while satanism may be a hobby for
you and yours
it is most likely not the hobby of any isp and/or
web host.
in all likelyhood,
they were probably getting too much traffic,
and reserved the right to say,
hasta la vista,
and have a nice day.
conspiracies exist everywhere around you,
when they dwell within your mind.
--
"the middle is hard."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
In article <01bd85ad$e92b3000$070c9ace@ecsis>, kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net says...
Wait a second. Fuck these stoopid extra lines and bad formatting.
>interestingly enough, of all the clauses that friday had posted,
>the ONE that i referred to was the one that said, in effect,
>they reserve the right to not offer service to anyone at any time.
Standard clause in an AUP contract. Your comment about not reading the fine
print doesn't stand--the complaint was NOT about bandwidth, but content.
Re-read Stang's original "CON WINS..." post, or "SimpleNet Clarifies
Everything."
>while satanism may be a hobby for you and yours
To a rabid born-again Christian, there is no difference between a SubGenius and
a satanist. Or haven't you caught that yet?
>conspiracies exist everywhere around you, when they dwell within your mind.
Conspiracy is humanity's favorite activity. It's ours too, but we conspire FOR
slack, so we're absolved, period.
Hope you don't get too terribly disillusioned one day. There's more to the
world than you account for.
P.Lil
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <35648cac.2420603@news.io.com>, gggor@io.com (G. G. Gordon) wrote:
> Praise "Bob" and Praise Ivan Stang and fuck all of the rest of 'em but
> six, and save those just to be pallbearers. You see what we're up
> against, you see the type of mentality that has entered the internet
> bzness since aol came into being...I call for a large scale internet
> listing of all servers with censorship clauses and by the way my wife
> the civil rights law firm's right hand is checking this out, might be
> we can sue the living pee-wadding out of simplenet for restriction of
> freedom of speech...I mean Subsite????
> If Simplenet wasn't so neofascist it would be stupid...wait a
> minute...
THANKS!
But on the other hand, SimpleNet certainly has the right to refuse service.
We were paying SimpleNet for a service; they took the pay and did the
service; they got freaked out for whatever reason and decided they didn't
want our business. They aren't restricting anybody's freedom of speech,
because I can always hire a different web server, and PROBABLY HAVE (Jesus
has been talking to bluegravity.com and we're practically making the move
right now already -- THANKS, MODEMAC, for the HINT!). Hell, if push came to
shove, I could go buy and read the book on web servers, BUY a fucking web
server machine, get the LINES INSTALLED, and start a new business as a web
server. HUMANS do it ALL THE TIME! But I'd MUCH rather that part of it be
done by somebody who knows what the hell they're doing. Heck, for about 2
months, we HAD our own server. It's just that the LINES it was on were
being eaten up by our high traffic and RealAudio spew.
I certainly fault SimpleNet for being too chickenshit to even tell us what
prompted this. (Probably two hate letters from Bob Larson fundamentalists).
It's not like they didn't know what we DO. Jesus talked to them at great
length about how offensive and horrible and awful and huge our website is,
and at that time they acted all "FREE SPEECH" about it.
Yeah, right, until they got the one threatening letter from the little old
Christian lady or the shut-in Scientologist or the pro-spam psycho.
FEH!!!
EH!!!
DEH!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> But... it's the fact that they won't even admit to WHY they want us out,
> that's what really pisses me off. Why can't they just come out and say,
> "We're decent church going people, or else we have friends who are, and we
> cannot allow criticism, because... well, that's how much FAITH we have."
How SICK I am of the Con's censorship battlecry, "Who'll protect the
children?"...
One day I'll kill ALL of your fucking children and make you eat their
corpses, you FUCKERS. We Yeti will have our day.
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Life suck? Bill Patty can help!
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/BillPatty.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: e/wbear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear)
What I want to know is who'll protect ME from the children? I see those
little fuckers are taking the same shooting lessons they give police swat
teams. Bastards will probably drop me in an ambush before I get off my
first round. Tell you one thing, I ain't going near a school anytime soon.
We need to get some warning stickers made up to paste on those school zone
signs. "Free Fire Zone" with a couple of rifles slung over the shoulders
of those silouettes.
---
ewb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <3565CFE5.28A0@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.com wrote:
>
> Before you try the "CROOK" option again, you might try the "HOOK"
> option--
> that is--go FULLY ADULT in content.
> "**TOTALLY FREE** bug porn"
> "SEX LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE"
> "BIGGEST TwITS ON THE INTERNET!"
Well, that's basically exactly what we're gonna do!
Hey man -- the Pinks FORCED us to become pornographers when they tried to
prevent us from being BLASPHEMERS!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gggor@io.com (G. G. Gordon)
On Fri, 22 May 1998 01:13:11 GMT, e/wbear@hibernia.ca (e/w bear)
wrote:
>
>As for Bob... he may be a myth, but like all myths he's grounded in
>reality. The legend of a solitary figure who turns against the conspiracy
>to fight for the common people is a classic tale that rings true for a lot
>of folks. There may not be any flying saucers, and our friends and lovers
>may have to stand in for the Love Goddesses (not a bad alternative
>really)... but you and I both know the Con is real. It ain't no joke
>brother, and fighting it is what it's all about. If this wasn't true, then
>the Church would not have survived as long as it has.
Stang make sure this guy is on our saucer, okay??
Original file name: CON WINS, I ALMOST GIVE up
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.