THE "WORLD" IN TURMOIL

Gotterdammerung??
-- Or a GODDAMN PARTY?

Only the "Xists" from Galactic Central know -- but they aren't telling. We just might get used to not knowing the difference.


DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF SANITY BY THE CONSPIRACY'S FALSE REALITY AND THE PRESSURE OF A CRUMBLING WORLD?? THEN THIS MAY BE FOR YOU!!

You might be SO OUT OF IT that YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO "BOB" DOBBS IS. Even worse, you may not care! Of course, there's considerable pressure to keep you from caring whether you care or not, and it's so much easier to just let that weight keep you slowed down ... you're used to it... you can take it... it's a living ... you'll just go on about your job ... doing what you're told... ...because everything we say from here on out is going to sound like UTTER INSANITY to you; at least, if you're NORMAL it will...

...uh...

...you are NORMAL, aren't you?

WAKE UP!! Snap out of it! REPENT!! QUIT YOUR JOB!! SLACK OFF!!! ... if only for a second, that's all we're asking. Then you can go back to sleep, or to Hell.

YOU CAN LEARN TO THINK FOR YOURSELF -- BUT ONLY "BOB" CAN SHOW YOU HOW!!

INSTANT INSTRUCTIONS FOR THOSE WHO FOLLOW NO MASTER!!

Technically, this organization cannot exist -- because it is composed of people who are not joiners. The only thing most SubGenius have in common is that they're ALL DIFFERENT -- and they have NOTHING in common with the C.O.N.S.P.I.R.A.C.Y.!! ( Cliques of Normals Secretly Planning Insidious Rituals Aimed At Controlling You) The SubGenius, because it does not "fit in," is actually better than everyone else!

OUR CREED: "Orthodoxy Is The Only Heresy"

THIS INCREDIBLE NEW FAITH, AUTHORIZED TO BLASPHEME BY THE GODS THEMSELVES, IS THE FIRST ALL-PURPOSE BELIEF SYSTEM TO BE COMPATIBLE WITH MOST MAJOR WORLD RELIGIONS AND MANY WEIRD CULTS -- WITHOUT EXPENSIVE INTERFACES!!

THE QUEST:
SOMETHING FOR NOTHING
THE GOAL:
WORLD WIDE SLACK
SubPurposes:
TO END DEATH, TAXES, HUNGER, WAR, DISEASE, AGING, and WORK ª
"As long as we must work, we are not free." -- J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

THE WEAPONS:

THE POWER OF ABNORMALITY, UNPREDICTABILITY, and THE WORD OF "BOB"

THE METHOD:
TIME CONTROL TM

through Bullshattering, Morealism, Cynisacreligion, Sadofuturistics, and the Sciences of BULLDADA® and Stupidism®.

THE MOTTO:
"FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE."

Another page forward into the abyss!

Flip back one page for further meditation.

Take me back to the ever-lovin' arms of "Bob" on Page One!


Back to face the FIST