acb@bruce.cs.monash.edu.au(Andrew C Bulhak) writes:
>Matthew MacIntyre (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote:
>: By the way, what *is* the longest known palindrome
>
>Changing the subject, does anyone have a list of songs which are
>about masturbation? I heard that "Turning Japanese" and "She Bop" are,
>but there probably are some more.
>--
> Andrew Bulhak acb@cs.monash.edu.au acb@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
> Which part of "Cthulhu fhtagn" don't you understand?
>
We have a couple of masturbation songs by The Goat Family - the clever
innuendo and double-entendre filled, *Doing My Own Thing*, and the more
direct, *I'm Jacking My Dong Now* both from THE GOAT FAMILY ALBUM.
Although they aren't exactly about masturbation I was wondering if a
song about an inflatable doll qualifies? If so, one must not forget
Frank Zappa's - *Ms. Pinky* from ZOOT ALLURES or Bram Tchaikovsky's -
*Girl of My Dreams* from STRANGE MAN, CHANGED MAN...
Col. Sphinx Drummond
Kommander of S.L.A.K.
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Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: Sphinx1@ix.netcom.com (sphinx drummond)
Also:
I know he's pinker n shit, but that sensitive butthole Jackson Browne
has got a song from the album RUNNING ON EMPTY called "Rosie" with the
line; "Rosie you're alright - you wear my ring, when you hold me tight -
Rosie that's my thing, when you turn out the light - I've got to hand it
to me, looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie".
It's a reference to the old comeback "He's got a date with Rosie. Yeah
Rosie Palms."
Col. Sphinx Drummond
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Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: snick@u.washington.edu (Louis Nick)
Lee Moore <ifzf327@utxsvs.cc.utexas.edu> wrote:
>>
>Well, on the subject of inflatables, there's also Roxy Music's "In Every
>Dream Home a Heartache" ("I blew up your body/and you blew my mind").
>Other odes to Onan: The Who's "Pictures of Lily," Elvis Costello's
>"Mystery Dance," Tori Amos's "Icicle."
The Violent Femmes' "Blister in the Sun."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: ecdb@ssa.bris.ac.uk (D. Brewer)
Of course there's the marvelously subtle Ivor Biggun with masterpieces
such as:
I'm a wanker
Wank your blues away
Cucumber Rumba...
DB.
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Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: baffona@cueball.demon.co.uk (Milo Baffona)
Almost any song by the great Ivor Biggun you care to choose is about
masturbation (or fellatio). His songs appear on "The Winkers' CD" and
"More Filth! Dirt Cheap". Like many great artists, Ivor found his theme
early in his career, took himself in hand and stuck to it.
"I'm Britain's champion wanker
Renowned throughout the land,
Everybody knows my name but
Nobody wants to shake my hand."
Which indicates what "vice anglais" REALLY is.
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Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend)
>: (Andrew C Bulhak) writes:
>: >Changing the subject, does anyone have a list of songs which are
>: >about masturbation?
I think most of the Green Day album is.
--
>>>Dad's Fabulous Tape Exchange<<<
**Send a tape. Get a tape. It's that easy!**
Mail to: Dad's New Slacks - P.O. Box 4272 - Portland, Maine 04101-4272
::::or e-mail me for more info:::::
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: eburton@buphy.bu.edu (Erich Burton)
other favorites:
"Severed Lips" -- dinosaur jr. ("I never knew a rubber doll would be so
hard to please")
"Girl in a Box" -- Blake Babies
I knew if I waited long enough this thread would come back -- or did it
really ever die? Maybe it was just hibernating.
Does anybody know any songs about threads that just won't die?
__
Erich "or any songs about flooring the gas pedal?" Burton
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com>
And then there's the Doktors for "Bob" song, "I'm Sitting On The Carpet
In My Parents' Living Room, Just Having Emptied The Garbage Can All
Over the White Shag, Searching For The Pills That Were In My Pocket
A Couple Of Hours Ago When I Was At That Concert With That Chick Who
Picked Me Up After I'd Slammed Those Fourteen Little G'BroagFrans In
That Bar On Main Street After Squirting Thirteen Times While Watching
Penny's Tits on Lost In Space." But that one's not really about
masturbation as much as it's about family values.
Yer pal,
Rev. Spermodox
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: waldby@glhpx12 (waldby julian f)
Although I have killed this thread, and I suggest you do the same, I
cannot help but add:
Alice Cooper - Holy Muscle of Love
And that clown guy, Mr. Bongles or whatever. - just about any song he
ever did.
Julian
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: mstraigh@nyx10.cs.du.edu (Michael Straight)
We've seen this thread hundreds of times. Here's a partial list of songs
that are obviously about masturbation:
"The Reflex" - Duran Duran
"Rocket Man" - Elton John
"Hey Jude" - Beatles (especially the 2nd verse)
"I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got" - Sinead O'Connor
"Karma Chameleon" - Boy George
"Point of Know Return" - Kansas
"Little Red Corvette" - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
"Papa Don't Preach" - Madonna
"Smokin' in the Boys Room" - Twisted Sister
"The Greatest Love Of All" - Whitney Houston
"Footloose" - Kenny Loggins
"I Wanna New Drug" - Huey Lewis and the News
"Puff the Magic Dragon" - Simon & Garfunkel
"Heard it From a Friend" - REO Speedwagon
"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Bon Jovi
"Jailhouse Rock" - Elvis Presley
"Sister Christian" - Night Ranger
"The Longest Time" - Billy Joel
"Jump" - Van Halen
"Pinball Wizard" - The Who
"YYZ" - Rush
"Ebony and Ivory" - Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder
"The Rainbow Connection" - Kermit the Frog
Michael Straight hopes this helps!
FLEOEVDETYHOEUPROEONREWMEILECSOFMOERSGTIRVAENRGEEARD
STVHIESBIITBTLHEEPSRIACYK
Ethical Mirth Gas/"I'm chaste alright."/The Magical Shirt/"Hath grace limits?"
"Halt this grimace!"/Chili Hamster Tag/The Gilt Charisma/"I gather this calm."
---------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
And, last but not least, "HEY BOB A RE BOB," with the immortal stanza,
Boogied in the kitchen,
Boogied in the hall,
Boogied in my hand
and I flung it on the wall
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
(Heard in its original form, performed by some unidentified old fogey, on
SubGenius Media Barrage #3, "Sex," $8.50 from The SubGenius Foundation.)
Rev. Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Yeah, you think you could post the lyrics some time? To me, all the verses
sound like:
Well, m hehnemreneheh
And ga-rellahenareh,
Da umaginnihana
And a thurmaninnahin,
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yeah m grh hnh hhhhhhh
On an unrelated note: Come to Medina Ohio, where ALL EIGHT FLAVORS
of WarHeads dwell! They even tell me that FIZZY WarHeads are on
the drawing board. Medina: where supervillains are killed and
WarHeads are born.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
OK man, I'm gonna try to do this from memory...
Momma's on the bottom
and Poppa's on the top,
Baby's in the crib shoutin'
"Pour it to her Pop"
> > shoutin'
> > Hey Bob a Re Bob
> > Hey Bob a Re Bob
> > Hey Bob a Re Bob
> > Yes my baby knows.
Well, sea is sea
And land is land,
If I can't get my boogie
I can get it by hand
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
Boogied in the kitchen,
Boogied in the hall,
Boogied in my hand
and I flung it on the wall
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
A nickel for some butter and
A nickel for some lard
Rub it on my boogie
Till my boogie got hard
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
Said the big red rooster
To the little red hen
Ruffle up your feathers
Let Poppa stick it in
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
Grandpa's on the crapper
Sittin so bold
Gonna get him some
Of the old knot-hole
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
Now roses are red
Ready for pluckin'
I got a girl
(OH NO YOU AIN'T!)
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
Now belly to belly and
Chin to chin
Got TWO big things
Goin' out and in
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
Now my Poppa is a (?)
Momma is a slut
My cock-suckin' brother
Got my sister knocked up
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
The cattle's in the pasture
The horse is in the corn,
Grandma's in the crapper
Blowin' Grandpa's horn
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
I got a brand new Chevy
With a tank fulla gas
Mouth fulla titty
And a hand fulla ass
shoutin'
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Hey Bob a Re Bob
Yes my baby knows.
That's it. Aside from the anonymous old codger version on SubGenius
Media Barrage #3, this song is also performed by the UTTERLY INSANE Akron
band, FORMS OF INSANITY, Rev. Toth Wilder on lead vocals. I have shot one
of these performances at the Akron devivals on Video 8. I also have a tape
from Toth which features 10 takes (!) of this song from ALL their
performances of it. I use the legal bits from each one on alternating HOUR
OF SLACK radio shows.
Seems to me the Ramones would be good at covering this one.
> On an unrelated note: Come to Medina Ohio, where ALL EIGHT FLAVORS
> of WarHeads dwell! They even tell me that FIZZY WarHeads are on
> the drawing board. Medina: where supervillains are killed and
> WarHeads are born.
MEDINA... Ah yes, to the Medina, where the sloe-eyed women sell their
WarHeads to all comers, where
--
Copyright! 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang, 1st Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple
Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected,
a.k.a. The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA, fax
214-320-1561... PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: Sphinx1@ix.netcom.com (sphinx drummond)
I can't believe this thread has been plodding along for weeks, nay
years. Oh well, I feel a need to throw in a much overlooked song by an
even more overlooked band. Does anyone remember THE DOBERMAN BITCHES?
They had an album out on Cool Guy Records a few years back called -
"(sic) Musick for Dweebs and Phuck Heads" - by far the best song on the
album was *I'm Honing My Bone Y'all* with the following lyrics:
I was stokin' my engine with some vasoline
Sumpin' was a pumpin' but it wasn't gasoline
I'm the king of the world underneath the covers
All the women on the planet are my potential lovers
Chorus: I'm honing my bone y'all
I'm shining my wood
I'm honing my bone y'all
And it feels good
It's my imagination don't tell me that it's phony
Because I lose my mind each time I rope my pony
Now I'm not saying I don't need no one else
But I'm always pleased when I do it to myself
Repeat Chorus
Talk about a hard-on, my boner doesn't quit
The seams of my jeans are always throwing a fit
Shala was the kind of girl who couldn't be beat
Until I was alone snuggled in-between the sheets
Repeat Chorus 2 times & fade with:
Now don't it feel good
Yeah it feels good....etc.
OK, I confess, I was just bullshiting about the Doberman Bitches, I made
it all up. Maybe the song will be on the next Swingin' Love Corpse
album, if another album ever gets made.
Col. Sphinx Drummond I always lie...and that's the truth.
Commander of S.L.A.K. I just think...Hell, I don't know.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Songs About Masturbation...
From: booger@nose.org
>>mstraigh@nyx10.cs.du.edu (Michael Straight) writes:
>>> "Little Red Corvette" - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
>>You misspelled ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>O|->
>>hope this helps. :)
OK, folks. Just so everyone gets it straight in the future, the damn
symbol (O+->) is pronounced "BOB".
pickin' n' grinnin'
booger
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